“You’ve been in the field since you came over with the Brigade?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You were awarded a Bronze Star for valor?”
“Yes, sir.”
“But now you say you won’t fight anymore.”
“Yes, sir,” Singer said, and went on to try to explain, as he had with Top.
The New Captain listened, at one point nodding and at another pursing his lips. When Singer finished, the New Captain was quiet for a long moment. He picked up a paper from the table and glanced at it briefly, then set it aside before he spoke again.
“I want to make sure I understand correctly that this is a private thing, based on your personal convictions.”
“Yes, sir, that’s correct,” Singer said.
“There’s no group that’s been discussing these things?”
“No, sir.”
“This is not about religion, then?”
“No, sir.”
“You are alone in this and you came to this decision by yourself?”
“I haven’t talked about this with anyone until I went to see the lieutenant tonight.” Singer felt sweat roll down his arms and wetness on his face, but kept his hands still.
The New Captain glanced over at Top and some unspoken thought seemed to pass between them. The New Captain’s shoulders dropped and some tension he’d been holding appeared to seep away.
“How old are you?” the New Captain asked, looking back at Singer.
“Eighteen, sir.”
The New Captain was quiet again. He lifted his forearms, resting his elbows on the table, and brought his hands together and began spinning the gold band as though that helped him think. Then he pushed back from the table and set his hands on his lap.
“Okay. I’m sending you to Camp Eagle, where you’ll finish out your tour with the company support elements. It will show as a normal reassignment. I’m giving you back your M16. I expect you to continue to carry it so as not to draw attention to yourself. No one will know about this except me, Top, and you.” The New Captain sighed and looked over at Top. “That sound okay to you?”
“Yes, sir,” Top said.
“This will be best for the unit and give this man the chance you say he deserves.”
“It’s a good plan, sir,” Top said.
The New Captain turned back to Singer and leaned forward across the small table. His face tightened and his eyes narrowed. Singer felt the heat of the New Captain’s glare and struggled not to look away.
“You’ll carry your M16 and keep these things to yourself, including what we’ve discussed here tonight,” the New Captain said. “I don’t want any reports of a problem.”
Singer nodded to fill the silence the New Captain left hanging uncomfortably in the air.
“Top has said good things about you and I don’t expect any problems. But I want you to understand if I have even the smallest problem there will be different and far more serious consequences. Is that understood, Specialist Miller?”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Singer pushed the word out across his dry tongue.
“Don’t thank me, thank Top. He’s the one who convinced me this was the best way to handle this. He even said we owed you this. I don’t think we owe you, but I understand you have fought with distinction, and I think this is fair.”
That was it. The New Captain stood and Singer saluted and then was outside the bunker facing a different world.
Top met Singer at the helipad at first light and stood with him until the bird throttled up.
“Thanks, Top.”
“I never met anyone like you, fighting as you did . . .” Top shook his head. “I don’t understand you, Singer.”
“I’m not sure I really understand, either.” Singer saluted. “Airborne.”
Top snapped his heels together and brought his hand up smartly. “All the way.”
Then they both smiled and Top reached out his hand. Singer took it and felt Top’s strong fingers close around his, and he wished Top was coming, too. He was on the chopper, looking down at Top for the last time. Top held out his fist in a thumbs-up gesture and Singer returned it, watching Top standing there getting smaller, looking like a lone figure on a mountaintop, a statue to some gallant, historic figure. He couldn’t help wondering if Top would make it. But he knew he would never know.
Glossary
175s–Artillery, the number referring to the gun’s caliber in millimeters.
Airborne–Parachute-qualified soldiers and units. Part of the salute between paratroopers.
AIT–Advanced individual training.
AO–Area of operation.
APC–Armored personnel carrier.
Article 15–Non-judicial military punishment.
ARVN–Army of the Republic of Vietnam, soldiers of South Vietnam.
Bandolier–Ammunition belt usually slung over a shoulder.
Bird–A general reference to a plane or helicopter.
Cav–Reference to the 1st Cavalry Division, an airmobile unit that made extensive use of helicopters for troop deployments.
Charlie–A general term for the enemy.
Cherry–A new guy with no combat experience.
Chopper–A general reference for helicopters.
Claymore–An anti-personnel mine, command-detonated and directional.
CO–Commanding officer.
Cobra–An AH-1 helicopter gunship with rockets and miniguns.
Cold LZ–Landing zone without enemy opposition.
Concertina–Coiled barbed wire used to ring firebases.
CP–Command post.
Cs, C-rations–Canned rations issued to field troops in Vietnam.
DEROS–Date eligible for return from overseas.
Dink–A derogatory term for the enemy, sometimes applied to native people.
Doc–Term for army medics.
Duce-and-a-half–A two-and-a-half-ton class army cargo truck.
Dustoff–Medical evacuation helicopter.
ETS–Expiration term of service, the date a soldier is discharged from active duty.
Firebase, FB–A semi-permanent position with bunkers, wire, and artillery support.
FO–Forward observer, an artillery officer who patrolled with field units to call in artillery.
Gook–A derogatory term for the enemy, sometimes applied to native people.
Grunt–An infantryman.
H and I–Harassment and interdiction artillery fire.
Huey–UH-1 helicopter used to shuttle troops, evacuate wounded, and bring in supplies.
JAG–Judge advocate general.
KIA–Killed in action.
Klicks–Kilometers, approximately 1.7 miles.
LAWs–Light anti-tank weapon
LBJ–Long Bien Jail, a U.S. military prison in Vietnam.
Leg–Derisive term for non-paratroopers.
LRRP–Long-range reconnaissance patrols that carried freeze-dried rations.
LZ–Landing zone.
M60–A belt-fed machine gun weighing twenty-three pounds, using 7.62 millimeter ammo in 100-round belts.
MACV–Military Assistance Command Vietnam.
NCO–Non-commissioned officer, sergeants of any rank.
NDP–Night defensive position.
NVA–North Vietnamese Army; soldiers with the North were called NVA.
OCS–Officer candidate school.
Pogue–Derogatory term for rear-area or noncombat troops.
Point–First man on a patrol.
Poncho liner–Light-weight nylon, camouflaged blanket used for shade or warmth.
PRC25–Portable radio for two-way communications, called the “prick 25.”
Quad-50–Four fifty-caliber machine guns mounted together.
R and R–Rest and relaxation.
REMF–Derogatory term for rear-area or noncombat troops.
RPG–Rocket-propelled grenade.
RTO–Radio telephone operator, man who carried the PRC25 communications radio on pat
rols.
Rucksack, ruck–Military frame pack.
Shake and Bake–A person awarded NCO rank from a school rather than field time.
Short–To have little time left in a one-year tour of duty.
Short-timer–A person with little time left in their Vietnam tour.
Slack, slackman–The second man in a patrol, walking behind the point man.
Specialist Fourth Class–Military rank E4/SP4 awarded after Private First Class, one rank below an E5 sergeant, equivalent in pay grade to a corporal.
Top–A First Sergeant, the highest-ranking NCO in company-sized units.
VC–Viet Cong, fighters in the South aligned with the North.
WIA–Wounded in action.
Web gear–Belt and shoulder harness that supported ammo, canteen, and first aid pouches.
XO–Executive officer, the officer in charge of a unit’s administrative responsibilities.
Acknowledgements
In 2003, I moved back to Hue, Vietnam, to be closer to my past and to the guys who didn’t make it. There I began writing down the first words that would become Perfume River Nights. It took more than twelve years before it was completed and would become a book. But the story is one I’ve carried since I was an infantryman in Vietnam in 1968.
Like with any project that takes years to complete, many people helped me to various degrees with the telling of Perfume River Nights. Some of them unknowingly. Unfortunately, I can only acknowledge a few of them here.
Most prominently, I want to recognize the soldiers who fought in Vietnam. Their unheralded courage and struggles to protect each other and prove themselves in the most difficult of circumstances, which cost so many their lives, gave me the idea for this story.
Additionally, I extend my deepest thanks to:
Corinne Dwyer, Anne Rasset, and Curtis Weinrich of North Star Press, for giving this story life as a book.
Mary Logue, editor, poet, and author, for her editing that helped me refine the story. Her support and advocacy was instrumental in my perseverance and publication of the story.
My daughters, Jennie Bosl and Melissa Thiebaut, for loving and sustaining me regardless of whether the story they knew I carried would ever be a book.
Walailux Sringam, for providing me companionship and encouragement during my years of editing this story.
Dr. Ernest Boswell, for making it possible for me to be here and to write. He was a constant supporter of me and the story. Our conversations about Vietnam and his questions about Perfume River Nights helped me advance the story and continue the effort to tell it.
Fred Bengston; Lisa Edelbrock; Harry Larson; Ann Marie Biermaier, OSB; Mike Sweeney; and Stefanie Weisgram, OSB; who enthusiastically read and commented on the lengthy manuscript. Their excitement for the story buoyed me during times of doubt.
John Buck, for composing the reading guide questions that add to the value of the book as a starting point for discussions on the difficult topics of war, ethics, courage, and violence. His excitement for the story and conversations about life were immeasurably helpful.
The Sisters of the Order of Saint Benedict affiliated with Studium, especially Studium Director Ann Marie Biermaier, OSB, and Assistant Director Theresa Schumacher, OSB, for providing me a place to live and write upon my return from Asia. The sisters’ kindness and hospitality eased a difficult transition and provided a supportive atmosphere in which to write.
Barry Pomeroy, professor and author, whom I met by chance in Krabi, Thailand. Even though he was on vacation, he offered to meet with me to review my writing and discuss Perfume River Nights. His encouraging words and belief that I could do it stayed with me through the difficult years of writing and editing.
Author Judy Healy, for her interest in Perfume River Nights and for referring me to editor Mary Logue.
Natalie Goldberg, who unknowingly saved Perfume River Nights through her books Writing Down the Bones and Wild Mind, which I discovered in a small bookshop of used titles in Northeastern Thailand at a time when I was close to abandoning and discarding the manuscript.
Le Quynh Anh in Hanoi and Pham Thi Yen Nhi in Hue, for their years of friendship, support for my writing, and help with Vietnamese.
Danny Bowes, for adapting the cover photo to suit my wishes and for the English-American summits we held in Hanoi, Bangkok, and Chiang Mai that were a comfort during the troubling news of wars.
Jerry Fangel and John Hurt, Vietnam combat veterans, for helping me recall or verify a military post, piece of equipment, or procedure. Any error in this regard, though, is entirely my own.
My uncle, Dick Maley, a Korean War veteran, Don Miller and Bob Harringer, World War II veterans, for the stories, letters, and adventures they shared with me. Their company and correspondence were both a comfort and inspiration. Don’s advice before I left for Vietnam to “never get up in the same place you go down” stayed with me throughout my combat tour and the intervening years.
Family members, friends, and acquaintances in the States and Asia, including the Caribou crowd, the Paramount Painting Group, and the Hue Coffee Group for offering stories, counsel, and encouragement through the years. Though far too numerous to mention, all added some valuable piece toward the completion of Perfume River Nights.
Reading Guide Questions and Topics for Discussion
1) During the Vietnam War, one combat tour was the rule. But in the story, 82nd Airborne combat veterans, some with just weeks left in the army, are sent back to Vietnam. How do soldiers of Singer’s fourth platoon deal with this? How did the circumstance of their return influence their actions in Vietnam?
2) At Fort Bragg, Singer is the new guy in a platoon of combat veterans. In Vietnam, Singer eventually becomes the veteran dealing with new guys, or Cherries. How and why did the relationships between combat veterans and Cherries differ in each situation?
3) During Singer’s months in Vietnam, his bond with some of the men deepens to what he later refers to as love. Whom does Singer love and why? Discuss the formation and dynamics of the special relationships that form in combat as represented in the novel.
4) Early in his tour, Singer looked forward to combat, declaring, “. . . I came to fight. I mean, that is what we are here for, isn’t it?” Bear replies, “This ain’t your war. It sure the fuck ain’t my war.” Why do you think Singer holds this view? Why does Bear think it isn’t his or Singer’s war? Does Singer come to share Bear’s viewpoint?
5) On guard duty at night on the island on the Perfume River in Hue, Trip hears movement and fires his M16. The report the next morning that a body was found, but no weapon, brings a reprimand from Sergeant Milner. Shooter, however, congratulates Trip and Bear uncharacteristically defends Trip, saying, “. . . this is the Nam. There are no rules.” What does this scene reveal about each man? What does it say about war? Discuss the need of soldiers to make split-second decisions to shoot or not and the impacts of such decisions.
6) While filling canteens in a stream, Singer encounters the NVA soldier with the gold tooth but fails to kill him. Why does he let an enemy soldier escape and what are the consequences?
7) A day after the May fifth battle, Singer finds the man with the gold tooth dead in front of his fighting position in the crater. He “vows an end of mercy” before smashing the dead man’s face and taking the gold tooth. Discuss the significance of this act and the meaning of the tooth to Singer. What spiritual aspects does Singer see in this encounter? How might others inside and outside the military view this act?
8) The fierce combat at the crater where Singer is nearly killed and other squad members die is a pivotal episode for Singer. Discuss the changes Singer experiences throughout his time at the crater. At some point, Singer loses his terror and fights more ferociously, finding something “primeval and sustaining . . . that felt good.” Discuss this “primeval” response. How was Singer different in the months after this?
9) In the A Shau Valley battle, Singer disobeys an order to “Cease fir
e” and on another day to “Pull back.” Weeks later on a night ambush he disobeys an order to search for bodies. Discuss why Singer disobeys these orders and whether he was justified. Were these acts of disobedience a precursor to Singer’s final act? Discuss the roles and impacts of discipline and disobedience in the military. When is it important to disobey orders?
10) Singer’s relationships change through his months in Vietnam. He stops wanting to know platoonmates’ names and faces. He’s less interested in their conversations. His interactions with NCOs and officers are more contentious. He dismisses a “Dear John” letter and even stops writing home. Discuss these changes and possible causes.
11) One of Singer’s struggles is with the harm he’s doing to himself and a compelling need to extract revenge, which he sees as keeping his dead friends and himself alive. After the May fifth battle, he finds a power in his rifle and only feels alive when he’s firing. But he also finds he’s losing himself and doesn’t know himself anymore. Discuss this struggle, how it manifests itself and whether it was ultimately resolved.
12) In the last battle scene, California seemingly abandons Singer and moves toward the interior of the perimeter. When he returns, wounded, he tells Singer he was saving him. Only after Singer finds his nemeses the New Platoon Sergeant dead and the Cherry Lieutenant dying does he suspect what California did to save him. Discuss California’s acts, the reasons, and implications.
13) Near the end of the story, a sobbing Singer reflects “That there is glory in killing and that you can kill without inflicting self-harm are two of the biggest lies.” How does Singer reach this conclusion? What is the truth in it?
14) Why after months of combat and an award for valor does Singer refuse to fight anymore? How would you judge Singer’s actions? What do you think of how the New Lieutenant, Top, and the New Captain deal with Singer’s refusal?
15) Striving for courage is one of the story’s themes. How does each character view courage? Discuss the incidents of courage and instances absent of courage. Does surviving or dying in an act determine whether it was courageous or reckless? What role does the group play in creating expectations and eliciting behaviors?
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