Did her pale skin turn red? In the lighting it was hard to tell. “Yeah, I am.”
Her shoulders came up and she dropped them in defeat. “Let’s not talk about this. I’m still humiliated. Give me a hundred years and I might get over it.”
“Ria, it wasn’t that bad.”
“Bad timing. I caught a bug and the dancing, drinks, and getting overheated…well, the rest is history.” She turned her face toward the front window. “I’m sorry for ruining your shoes.”
He laughed. “You didn’t ruin my shoes. I’ve had blood, oil, snow, you name it, on those things.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better how?”
“I’m saying that I don’t hold it against you. Life happens. We move forward. Just not running away. By the way, I planned to get your cell number and would have called you immediately. I wouldn’t have been able to wait twenty-four hours before asking you to dinner.”
“You would have? I thought I was just part of an offer?”
“One dance was the wager. The second was all me.”
“You mean the fact I’m blind doesn’t scare you away?”
“Ria? Are you serious? I don’t care that you’re blind. If any man has ever made you feel like he is scared, then you’re better off without him.”
She sighed. “My ex. He was with me after the accident, but I think in the long run it became too much for him. Yet, I’ll never know for sure. Maybe he and my cousin were just meant to be. Too bad I won’t be able to make their wedding to prove that I don’t harbor any hard feelings. Kora and Phyllis say that it’s the closure I need.”
“Are you sure you weren’t looking for an excuse not to go? I think your sister and friend are absolutely right. We all need closure after a bad break up. If you decide you want to go, I think we could manage it.”
“We?”
“Yeah, it’s not like I’d send you alone. You and me, we’re stuck together like glue until we catch the killers. I haven’t been to a wedding in a long time.”
“Ah, that’d really help in proving I’m moving forward by bringing a sitter with me and not a date. No offense, but no thank you.”
“Who said anything about a sitter. I’ll be your date. No one needs to be any wiser. I’ll leave my badge at home.”
“You’d do that? I thought men hated attending weddings unless it’s their own?’
He shrugged. “Hell, how bad can it be? In fact, I’d like to see the ex’s expression when he sees that you’ve moved on. He’ll realize just how stupid he was for letting you go.”
“Well, considering I won’t be able to see his expression I’d like to know what it looks like too. But he’s happy and I’m happy for him. In the end, that’s the best medicine. To draw the curtain on an empty stage inside our heart. He and I weren’t meant to be together.”
“That’s one way to turn a negative into a positive. I still get angry when I think of my ex,” he admitted, immediately wishing he’d kept the bit of information to himself.
“Are you still in love with her?”
Although he knew Ria couldn’t see his expression, he felt she could in a way. So, he couldn’t attempt to brush her question off. “I wouldn’t call it love. I’m more disappointed in myself than in her. I’ve learned some valuable life lessons.”
“Like?”
“To be careful who I trust.”
“Do you think you keep people at an arm’s length to keep from getting hurt? I know this because it’s been pointed out to me more than once. It’s true. It’s not that I’m still in love with Jamie, but I use him as a gate to keep people out. I’d rather be alone than have to turn a man’s life upside down to be with me.”
“My opinion might not mean anything, but any man would be lucky to have you. You’re beautiful, smart, and your positivity is contagious.” Had he just revealed that to her? He needed to jump out of this conversation. “It’s starting to snow.”
“I love the snow. It’s one of the things I miss seeing.”
“Up here in the mountain it gets pretty deep.” They came upon the road that would lead them to the cabin. He turned the truck and Ria jostled in her seat. “We’re almost there. Once we get inside I’ll show you around.” And with that, they both became silent.
CHAPTER 7
RIA ATTEMPTED TO clamp her brain off on the conversation she and Phoenix had on the drive up. After he’d helped her get the layout of the cabin and showed her into one of the bedrooms, he’d excused himself to make them something to eat. So, he was sexy, sweet, and could cook. He only became more dangerous.
He said a man would be lucky to be with her. Sure, he could be making her feel better, but something told her he was genuine. Ria didn’t like to play games and appreciated when someone was upfront and honest. She knew people who were dishonest. It was refreshing to meet a man who didn’t seem to care one iota that she couldn’t see. What most people didn’t take the time to understand, her disability wasn’t really an incapacity for her. She ate, cried, showered, cleaned, washed laundry, cooked, created, and even made love like everyone else did. In fact, after the accident, being that she relied on her sensations and feelings so much, sex had become a lot more sensual and orgasms more intense. Too bad these days she owed the gratitude to her vibrator instead of a man.
Lately, being around Phoenix and his subtle touches, she got a clearer idea just how much she missed being held by a man.
After splashing her face with cool water, she made her way down the hall, following the savory delicious smell of food. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten much over the last few days. Using the wall as her guide, when she came to the floor trim she knew she’d reached the kitchen. She could hear a spoon dinging against the side of a pot.
“Whatever you’re making smells delicious,” she said.
“I hope it tastes as good as it smells.” She heard him drop the spoon. “Do you have your phone with you?”
“Yes.” She grabbed it from her back pocket.
“Before I forget, I want to put my number in your contacts. In case you need me I’m only a phone call away.”
She didn’t like that his words jiggled the lock to that gate she’d referred to earlier. “Why will I need to call you if we’re stuck together like glue?” she teased.
There was laughter in his voice when he said, “Maybe I’m thinking when this case is over.” He took the phone and their fingers brushed, causing more tension in her belly.
“Are you flirting with me, Phoenix?”
“I don’t know what flirting is. I haven’t done it in so long.”
“If you say so.” She could hear him messing with her phone. “Do you need to program my number into your phone too?”
“It’s already in there. I’ve had it since the night of the murders.”
“Sure. That’s how you called me to meet at the diner. Sorry, all that’s been going on has me a little loopy.”
“Maybe you’re just hungry. Here, let me help you take a seat.” His hand came on her elbow and he guided her to the table and chair.
She sat down and a few minutes later he placed a plate in front of her. The savory, garlic smell made her mouth water. “Pasta?”
“Spaghetti. One of the few things that is a sure bet.” The chair legs screeched against the floor as he sat across from her. “By the way, your phone is to your left and fork and napkin to your right.”
She slid her hand across the table and took the napkin and placed it across her lap. “Forgive me if I’m a little messy. I’ve been known to spill and drop like a toddler.”
“Hell, I like this. I can be as messy as I want and you’ll have no clue,” he teased.
Slurping up a noodle, she savored the delicious taste. “This is delightful. I’ve missed sit-down meals.”
“You don’t sit down to eat?”
“I do when I meet up with family and friends, but mostly I heat up a frozen meal in the microwave and eat it in between clients.
Granola and yogurt have become staples for me.”
“Uh-oh. I see a frown surfacing.”
She put her fork down. “I guess I’m thinking of my clients and the fact that I could lose many of them. It took me a better part of a year to get to where I am. I’m not there and worry they won’t want to come back after I come back. They must all know by now what happened. Homicide and relaxing don’t go hand in hand.”
“I think you’ll still have a clientele to come back to. From what I hear, finding a perfect massage therapist is as important as the right doctor. I promise we’ll catch the killers and you’ll be back home before you know it.”
Ria ran his words through her head. She had nothing else to do but believe in him. This situation could only be described as horrible and wrong, but this was her life right now. If she worried about the future too much, she’d lose even more sleep than she had over the last few nights. For the moment, at least, she wanted to enjoy the meal and let some of her anxiety roll off. She’d been through a lot since the accident and now was not the time to call weak. “I’ll do anything I can to help.”
“I know you will.”
“You must wish you had a better witness. This can’t be easy on you.”
“Like I told you, what you’ve told me is important. We’ll catch them.”
After they were finished eating, she stood and before she had a chance to try, he was next to her with his hand on her elbow. All the strange feelings were back…those that reminded her of how attractive she found him. Looking back, she tried to compare these feelings to those she had once felt for Jamie. Yet, why couldn’t she remember a time when she felt giddy and feverish? Had she experienced these head-spinning-knee-weakening reactions? She had to ask herself if she’d ever truly loved him the way a woman should love a man when she was planning to spend her life with him. No, she never loved him enough.
Those who had found true love told her the emotion came as fast and furious as a train wreck, and although they had felt out of control and dizzy, they also experienced a peace and unity.
She couldn’t allow herself to spin a fantasy with her emotions because this was all contingent on the fact that he felt obligated to protect her. He was a gentleman and would show any woman such kindness. Wouldn’t he?
However, he said himself that he’d planned to ask her out.
She liked that. A lot. And would have said yes.
~~~**~~~
“Hey, you okay?”
“What?”
Phoenix stared down into Ria’s face illuminated by the hall light that filtered into the bedroom. She blinked and swiped the hair off her moist cheek. “You woke me up and I came in. You were having a bad dream.”
“I-I…oh no. I’m sorry.” She lifted herself onto one elbow, her mouth twisting into a frown.
He had been dreaming when he heard her scream out. He came rushing in, his gun drawn, finding her thrashing around in the sheets. “Don’t apologize. After everything you’ve been through it’s only normal you’ll have nightmares. You’re safe here.”
A tear slid down her cheek and her bottom lip trembled, and before he considered the impairment of his actions, he wrapped his arms around her quivering shoulders and drew her close into his chest, feeling how slight her body was compared to his. He’d never wanted to protect anyone so much in his life. Never felt so out of control with his emotions. This had nothing to do with her disability, but sometimes a man comes across someone in life that tugs the strings of his heart.
After dinner, he’d gone to bed and tossed and turned for a few hours, his mind on Ria and her situation. He knew it wasn’t safe to be personally involved with a witness, but Lord help him, it was too late to start down a different path.
“In my sleep I was back in the studio. Hiding. I-I can hear Leandra outside the door, begging to come in” she muttered against his shoulder. “I can’t get the image out of my head. The popping sounds. The sickly scent of blood in my nostrils. The sound of the man’s foot dragging against the floor. The smell of leather and the strong smell of cigars. I keep thinking I know what brand he smokes.”
Phoenix pulled back slightly, looking down into her face. “Do you?” The hair on his nape stood up.
“Yes. I think King of Denmark. Every year on my dad’s birthday and on Father’s Day, my mom buys him one cigar. King of Denmark has always been his favorite. He sits in his office and smokes it with a glass of scotch.”
The brand she mentioned wasn’t cheap. The killers, or at least one of them, had money to afford the expensive brand. They might not be dealing with a couple of thugs after all. He filed that tidbit of information in the back of his mind. “You’re safe now.”
“I believe that, I do. Is it possible that I’m reliving that night in my dreams because I’m missing something? Maybe I’ve overlooked a clue.”
“I’ve heard that dreams are the mind’s way of fixing a person’s fears and problems. You should try to get more sleep. I’ll stay here, in the chair, until you fall asleep.”
“Phoenix, this is ridiculous. You need sleep too. I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I know you’ll be fine, but let’s just say this is for me. I need to know you are okay.” Did he confess too much? Fact was, he didn’t care that he told her his feelings. He jumped over to the chair that was a mere two feet from the edge of the bed. He could reach out and touch her if he needed.
She settled back into the pillow and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders. Several minutes ticked by. “Phoenix?”
“Yes?”
“You comfortable?”
He smiled. “I used to think this chair was huge. I’ve gotten bigger since I’ve sat here.”
“Was this the room you would sleep in?”
“Yup. Best view.”
“Did you and your family come up here a lot?”
“Every weekend that my dad had off.” He pushed out the desire to crawl into bed with her. Sure, his body ached to hold her, but he also liked talking to her. “We’d spend holidays here. Fish in the summer. Sledding in the winter. A kid’s dream.”
“I loved holidays with my family. My mom loves to cook and she’d make the best homemade spreads of turkey, casseroles, desserts.” She yawned. “She’d also come in and soothe us back to sleep when we had nightmares. Why are kids always in a hurry to grow up?”
“Just don’t wake up calling me “mom”.”
She giggled. “That won’t happen.”
He struggled to keep some of his sanity attached. He liked this, being close to her, a little too much. Sure, he only came in to keep her safe, but another part of him wanted her to rely on him. He liked holding her, soothing her.
Damn, what was happening?
“You okay?” Her soft voice drew him out of his thoughts.
“I’m okay. Are you better?”
“Much. You were right. You being here does help.”
In such a short period of time she was becoming a part of his life. Someone who had been through what she had could find themselves vulnerable to the kindness of others. He didn’t want her to rely on him because she was susceptible, but because she trusted him.
For him to expect trust he had to first learn to trust himself again.
That was a tall order to fill.
After a few minutes of silence, he thought she’d fallen asleep until she murmured, “Thank you, Phoenix, for being you. I’m going to sleep now.”
“Good night.”
CHAPTER 8
WHEN RIA AWOKE the next morning and dressed, she came out to the smell of coffee brewing and the sounds of Phoenix at the stove. “Morning,” she said.
“There you are. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No, but something smells delicious.”
“French toast and coffee. Can I get you a cup?”
She didn’t like relying on him to wait on her, but she didn’t know her way around the kitchen. She’d probably end up making more of a mess than if she just allowed him to hel
p her. “Yes, please.”
While he moved around, she listened to the rustling of his jeans and the leather of his utility belt. He was wearing heavy soled shoes, like boots. Although he was a tall, muscular man, he moved deftly, stealthily. When he placed the cup in front of her at the table, the steam from the coffee reached her nostrils and mixed with his scent—soap and masculinity.
“I remember you liked cream and sugar.”
She was a bit startled that he remembered how she liked her coffee. “I do. Thank you.” Wrapping her palms around the cup, she drew in the warmth from the ceramic as he went back to tending to the French toast. “I’m not used to someone preparing my meals. I could get used to this,” she quipped.
“You’d get tired of spaghetti and French toast.” He chuckled. “When I woke up this morning you were sleeping soundly. So, no more nightmares I’m assuming.”
She swallowed the sip of coffee with a loud gulp. “You slept in the chair all night?”
“I fell asleep too.”
“Do you have body aches thanks to me?”
“Yes, this is all your fault.” There was a long pause. “Just kidding. I’ve been known to sleep in odder places. Like the couch in my office at the station. One of the empty cells. In the driver’s seat of my truck if I’m tired enough.”
“And here you thought you would to get to sleep in a bed last night.” She laughed, but she felt bad that she’d interrupted his night’s sleep.
Once their plates were on the table, she heard him sit down in the same seat where he sat yesterday, then asked, “Is it important that the furniture layout of your apartment stays the same?”
“Very important. After I trip a few times over something that has been moved, people around me start to get the idea of how dangerous any slight measure can be.” Crawling her fingers over the edge of the table, she found the fork and with the other hand she found the food. It was still a bit too hot.
“I noticed that you have pictures hanging on the wall at your house.”
She nodded. “I get that a lot. Although I can’t see them, those pictures were there when I could see. This was my childhood home It’s comforting knowing that many of the things are still the same as I remembered when I had sight. The only thing that’s really changed is the space I use as the studio. The wall was taken down between the bedrooms and made into one larger room. The wall was also taken down between the living room and kitchen. The more open the layout of a place the better it is for me. No walls to walk around, less stubbed toes.” She smiled.
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