Just when I thought the sound would surely shatter me, it stopped, and the only noise I could hear was the pounding of my own heart.
I sat there, hugging my knees for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, I opened my eyes. They were sore from having them shut so tightly and the beginnings of a headache hung just above my eyelids. I slowly peeled my hands off my ears and listened to the thumping of my chest.
I was alone.
I crawled up onto my heels and directly in front of me was a folded up piece of paper. I leaned forward and picked it up, shoving it clumsily into my pocket.
“She’s here,” A voice called out through the wood from behind me. A pair of arms slid in around my waist and pulled me up off the ground. My brain still wasn’t functioning properly and it took me longer than normal to acknowledge that it was Drake holding me upright. He loosened his grip slightly when I leaned over and retched once more, with barely anything coming up. I groaned and slumped into his chest. There was a quick exchanging of bodies and I was passed over and pressed firmly against someone else. Rough hands cupped my face and I looked up into Caleb’s green-grey eyes. “Have you been drinking?” he asked me, but my body was turning lethargic and like melting goo in his hands. I was losing control of myself.
“…drugged.” I heard Drakes voice travelling like he was at the other end of a long and hollow tunnel.
Caleb slapped my cheek gently. “Pria, wake up.” He shook me. “…sleep…were you with?” I closed my eyes and let my head fall onto his chest. I would have to answer his questions later. I was too sleepy.
***
My eyelids cracked open and I was surrounded by darkness. I bolted upright, instantly panicked and gripped the sheets tightly. I could feel the sharpness of my finger nails biting into my skin through the thinness of the linen. The glow of a light burned out the darkness and the room was filled with a soft golden glow. Caleb sat at the edge of the bed, with his hand on the switch of the bedside lamp. I was in Caleb’s bedroom. I wiped away a thick strand of hair that was plastered to the side of my sweaty face. “What happened?” I asked Caleb.
“You were drugged.”
“Drugged?” My voice sounded gruffer than normal, and excruciatingly dry.
“Drugged,” he repeated. “Who were you with?” I cast my mind back to last night. The memory was fractured, with bits and pieces missing. “I don’t know… Mellissa?”
“Wrong. She was sitting flirting with some guy all night.” He looked angry and I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Should I not have let that happen? It was up to Mellissa what she done at the end of the day. I wasn’t her mother.
“Then I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t remember. I just remember feeling really weird.”
“What were you doing just going off like that? Did you know Mellissa lied to Drake? She told him you were over at her house. Was that so I wouldn’t come looking for you? It was a really dumb move.” His features hardened. “Were you with Nathan? Was this his idea?” He was talking too quickly and my brain was lagging behind.
“Shut up will you?” I said. I felt groggy, like I was hung-over, and he was only making it worse. “It had nothing to do with Nathan. I don’t even remember seeing much of him.”
“What were you even doing with him?”
“That’s none of your business,” I said.
“It’s my business when you go off into cemeteries with him at night, and end up drugged and passed out. What do I have to do with you? Tie you to the bed and lock all the doors? What can I do to knock some sense into you?” His fists gripped the sheets under me, and I cut him a look of pure hatred. I slid out of the bed, now aware that I was in only my underwear. I didn’t care how I ended up like this, I just needed to get away from Caleb.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he barked at me.
“Home.”
“No you’re not.”
“What are you going to do to stop me, Caleb? Tie me to the bed?” I snapped. “It’s my choice if I go home.” He stood up and came around to my side of the bed. He grabbed me by my upper arms. “You’re not going home.”
“I’m going home,” I said calmly. His gaze slid over my shoulder.
“What is it?”
He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “Nothing.” His grip loosened on me and he took a step back. “You’re clothes are in the wardrobe.” He sat back down on the bed with his back to me and I went over to the wardrobe and slid myself into my jeans, and pulled on my black top. I felt more confident now I was fully clothed, and less vulnerable. I couldn’t help myself. I went over and sat next to Caleb on the bed. He looked tired.
“I didn’t mean to put me or Mellissa in danger,” I said to him. “That wasn’t my intentions. I just wanted to have fun, away from you, away from everything.”
He looked over at me and cocked his eyebrow. “Away from me?”
I didn’t feel like explaining away my jealousy of Tamara, so I didn’t. “I don’t know what’s happened to us, Caleb. I feel like you resent me sometimes. You treat me like I’m a nuisance and I’m sure I am. I wouldn’t like to have someone’s back twenty-four-seven, but I never asked for any of this. I never asked for your help. We used to be close, we were happy. Do you remember that?”
“You’re not a nuisance.” His expression was closed off. This wasn’t going to go any further, so I stood up to leave. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. He let out a loud sigh. “Sometimes I want to kiss you.” Okay, that was a surprise. He never acted like he wanted to kiss me, more like he wanted to kill me. He lifted his fingers up to my diamond earrings. “When I bought you those, all I could think was how they were so tiny in comparison to how beautiful you are.”
“They are beautiful,” I said.
“I’m happy you like them.” I saw his eyes wander down over to my wrist and I subconsciously wrapped my hand around the bracelet Ressler had given me.
“No more lying, okay?”
“No more lying,” I said. “Do you mind if I go and see my dad?”
“It’s your dad,” he said. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
He left the room and I was left on my own. I went over to the bedside cabinet and pulled open the top drawer. A small, compact pink comb sat there. I smiled. Just what I was looking for. I dragged the comb through my hair and then set it back in the drawer. I closed the drawer and I was struck with the sinister thought of whose comb that was. It could be Leah’s. Or it could be Tamara’s. He’d had Tamara in his bedroom? The comb looked tacky enough to be hers. I imagined she probably loved the color pink, like a typical air head. I brushed off the nasty thought and went instead, to see my dad.
I pushed open the door to the last bedroom at the end of the corridor. The room was just like all the others. Brick wall with crisp white sheets on the king size bed. My dad lay on top of the bed in a white t-shirt and dark blue pajama pants. I assumed they must be Caleb’s. He looked exactly the same and I sat in the seat that now permanently lived by the side of his bed. It was like a homemade hospital room in here and my dad looked out of place just lying there, silent. I watched the slow, steady rise and fall of his chest, and I climbed up on the bed next to him and lay my arm over his stomach. I buried my head in the crook of his arm and closed my eyes.
“Wake up soon, dad,” I whispered. “I miss you. You’re missing a whole lot right now. And you’ve definitely got some explaining to do.” I chuckled, but it was empty of any joy. “Fallen angel, huh? And here I thought you were just a mechanic.” I felt his heartbeat thrumming against my ear and I inhaled deeply. “I love you, dad and I’ll be right here when you’re ready to wake up.” I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. His skin was warm. I climbed off him. “See you soon,” I said, and left, closing the door silently behind me.
Caleb was in the kitchen. I sat down at the kitchen bar, and he slid a black ceramic bowl in front of me, filled with cereal. I eyed the multi colored Trix in front of me. It was filled right to the top. �
�I can’t eat all that,” I said, feeling full just looking at it. He reached out and opened up the cupboard behind him, pulling out the cereal box and handing it to me. I poured some of the cereal back into the box and then poured milk over what was left in my bowl. I chewed the sugary cereal. It tasted good.
“So do you remember anything else yet, about last night? Caleb asked me, sliding into a stool on the opposite side of the counter. He pushed up the already short sleeves on his white t-shirt, so they were rolled at his shoulders and his muscles were totally exposed. I nearly choked on my cereal. It was a good job I was chewing or I might have actually groaned out loud.
I mentally went back to last night, doing my absolute best not to think about the awful shadow. I wasn’t telling Caleb about that, he would only shove it down my throat, using it against me to prove his point. There was one thing that stood out. Beautiful copper skin, silky black hair and eyes the color of the Mediterranean Sea.
“Yeah I do actually. I was with someone. A boy.” I hadn’t meant it as a jealousy tactic but the muscle in his neck jumped nonetheless. Did that bother him? I kinda hoped so, even though it wasn’t even like that. I couldn’t even remember much of the guy.
“What boy? He said. I tried and tried for the memory to surface, but I couldn’t remember his name.
“I don’t know, he was from La Connor. We were walking by the woods and then he just disappeared.”
“He just left you there?”
“Yeah.”
“He drugged you, though.”
“How do you know it was him?” I asked. He had seemed like s nice enough guy, but then I assumed most guys who drugged women probably seemed nice enough.
“Did you accept a drink from him?”
“Yeah, but I poured it myself.” The picture was becoming more and more clear.
“But he gave you the liquor?”
“Yeah.” How could I have been so stupid? No the wonder Caleb was so pissed at me. I was careless and idiotic. “But why would he drug me?”
“I don’t know. I can think of a few reasons.” The look on his face screamed disgust. “Maybe he knew who you were.”
And who was I exactly? I didn’t even know that myself. “How do you know I was even drugged?” I did have two drinks. They were kinda strong.”
Caleb smirked “You were foaming at the mouth.”
My lips tightened. “I was not.”
“How would you know? You hardly remember anything.”
“I remember some.”
“I know drunk. You weren’t drunk. I know drugged, and you were drugged.” I shoved a spoonful of cereal into my mouth, out of anger. Caleb’s arrogance was back with a vengeance. He was such a know it all. I wanted to ask him if he was joking about me foaming at the mouth, but I knew he would enjoy that too much.
“Is Mellissa okay?” I asked him instead. I hadn’t really seen her at all last night. I chewed my cereal while he answered.
“She’s fine. She’ll be hung-over, but she’ll live.”
“Was she very drunk?”
He nodded. “Very. Now eat your cereal before it goes soggy.” I finished it off and Caleb took the bowl, dropping it into the sink.
“Caleb, I need to go home. I need to change and I need to wash.”
“You can do all that here,” he said, totally dismissing the idea of me leaving this place.
“None of my stuff is here,” I argued.
“I can take you to get it.”
“Caleb, this is ridiculous. I need to go home.” I swung around on my stool when I heard the front door open. My face lit up when I saw Ressler standing there. These past few months he had become like my best friend, just as long as I ignored his feelings for me, that is. “Ressler, will you tell him please that I need to go home and he can’t keep me locked up in here forever?”
Ressler looked from me to Caleb, clearly not wanting to make a bad situation worse. “You shouldn’t be on your own, Pria.”
“Did you tell him what happened?” I asked Caleb.
“Yes,” he said.
“I’ll stay with her. At her house I mean,” Ressler offered, looking at Caleb. I looked up. Caleb did not look happy, and just when I thought he was about to bite Ressler’s head off, his expression shifted, and looking at me, he nodded.
“Work’s for me,” Caleb said. Of course it works for him, now that he couldn’t give a shit about me. He was probably glad Ressler had taken me off his hands. I smiled at Caleb but it came out more like a grimace. “I’ll go and get my coat then.”
Back in Caleb’s bedroom, I put on my boots. I grabbed my coat from the wardrobe and stuck my hand’s in the pockets, hoping there was a hair tie in there, or at least some hair pins. My fingers closed around a square piece of paper and I pulled it out. The lined paper was folded, and I opened it up.
My heart felt like it had been frozen in time.
Scrawled across the very center of the page in blue ink, were the words:
Gabriel is not your father
I stood with the ugly note in my shaking hands, unsure what to do next. Who wrote this? Where had it come from? It had to be some sort of joke. Who could do such a thing? I crumpled the note up into a ball and then changing my mind, I ripped it up until all that was left of it, was a pile of tiny shreds. I went into the bathroom and flushed the fluttering heap down the toilet. It was gone, I wouldn’t have to think about it again. It wasn’t true, it was a sick joke.
I stepped back out into the living room. Caleb watched me deliberately, like he could see something was up, but I just smiled.
“Ready?” Ressler asked me.
“Ready,” I said.
With or without you
Later, back at home, I showered and changed into Caleb’s old baseball tee and a pair of shorts. I blow-dried my hair and sat at my dressing table, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I had changed so much in the past few months. Two personalities looked back at me from the glass. The old me- the familiar me, and the new me. I didn’t know anything about the new me. The girl I was now, was confused, lost, and scared. Until my dad woke up, I wouldn’t have any of the answers I needed. Only he knew the truth now, and only he would tell me it. I could count on Caleb for a lot of things, but honestly was never part of the deal with him. Caleb had me tucked away at arm’s length- a safe distance. He would never truly let me in and I was done trying.
I pulled open the drawer on my dressing table and picked out my mom’s picture. My dad thought my mom might have killed herself because she could no longer face her life- her relationship. But was starting to think differently. Whoever she was running from, I was now running from. My mom was dead but the cause of her death was alive and kicking, and coming for me. I didn’t understand any part of it, only that I could do things that no-one else could. Things that you only ever read about. I ran my finger over my mom’s beautiful face and kissed the picture before tucking it back into my drawer.
Downstairs, I grabbed a glass of milk and took it outside with me. It was past six o’clock, and it was pitch black. The night sky was clear and filled with a spattering of tiny, silver stars. I sat down on the cold fabric of the love seat, curling my legs up under me, and shivered. It wasn’t freezing, but the air held a trace of frost. It was far too cold for just shorts and t-shirt, but I wasn’t staying out long. I just needed to clear my head. I watched the steady stream of mist swirl from my mouth and evaporate into the air.
I was going to try and make it a little warmer. I wasn’t sure how, but I was going to give it my best shot.
I clenched my eyes tightly shut and thought about sunshine, holiday, summer, a blazing hot fire. I could still feel the sharpness of the cold, so I tried harder. I was concentrating so hard I could practically feel the brilliance of the beach I was picturing myself lying on. The sun was high and scorching. The sky clear and blue. Even the water that lapped up over my toes was warm. I could feel the smile tugging at my lips. I opened my eyes, sure it had worked, but the tempera
ture was the same, and I had the same chill in my body. Dammit! Why couldn’t I do it anymore?
The porch door clattered and Ressler stepped through. He shrugged himself free of his grey hoodie and threw it at me. I peeled it off my face and he laughed.
“Thanks,” I said, pulling it over my head. “I was trying to make it a little warmer, but as you can see-” I put my hand up into the air. “It didn’t work.”
“It will happen on its own,” said Ressler, sitting down next to me.
“Will it?” I asked, unconvinced.
“Yes. You need to be more patient.”
I turned to look at him. “I haven’t got time to be patient, Ressler. People want me dead. No, not people. Fallen angels. They are one hundred times stronger than me, you know that. This is all I have and I don’t have time to sit around and wait for something to happen. I need to make it happen.”
“You know what Caleb said.”
“The power could consume me, yes I know, and I’m not afraid. You know what Caleb’s like. He’s overprotective and secretive, and for all I know, he’s making the whole thing up.”
“Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. To control me?”
“You have no idea what you’re up against here.” Ressler said with a grunt.
“But you do?”
Ressler took a moment before he answered me. ”No, I don’t.”
“You do. I can tell. What are you keeping from me?” I let out a small laugh, but it was thick with bitterness. “I would expect Caleb to lie to me, but not you. You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“Right. Your friend.” The way he said it let me know he hated it, and I dismissed it like I always did.
“I know you know, Ressler. I don’t doubt it for a second. And when you’re ready to talk, I’ll be waiting.” I would let this go for now, but I wouldn’t forget. He knew something, and I wanted to know what. I had been tempted to ask him about the note I found in my pocket earlier, but I couldn’t see the point now, and asking him about it would mean I doubted that it was a prank, and might actually be real.
Falling Darkness: The second book in the Falling Awake Series Page 3