Shaking off his guilt, he stood there, debating long after she fled. What to do? Allow her to cool down, or follow on her heels? He could still see the look in her eyes, how they’d stared into his with a mixture of outrage and longing while she’d shouted at him.
I have come to terms with our past. We have no future.
“We shall see, my love. No way in bloody hell I’ll let you get away again.”
Chapter 29
Carmichael stables hummed with activity, which came to a halt as men recognized the rider galloping toward them. His mind set on the woman who’d just left his arms, Giles ignored them and cantered around the west-end fence behind the stables. Lady Luck was not with him.
Kit and Ben blocked the middle of the path, standing like two raging bulls.
Giles came to a dumbfounded halt.
One look at Kit’s angry face and he feared Alex’s brother had seen her return—and correctly jumped to the dreaded conclusion. Ben crossed his arms over a chest which had grown massive in size. Both men glared at him.
“Could have sworn I gave you fair warning.” Kit drew his lips into a thin, hard line.
“Looks like the Brit didn’t take your advice.”
“Years without a word,” Kit continued. “Never thought you’d be dumb enough to come back here.”
“Ain’t too bright, are ya, Brit?” Ben spat a stream of tobacco juice on the ground.
“I’m here to see Alex.”
“You’re not going anywhere near my sister,” Ben growled.
Sam strode from the stables, a curry and brush in his hand. “Alex came tearing in here like a bat out of hell. Running from you. I had to take care of Stardust. What did you do?”
Three sets of angry, determined eyes glared at him. If looks were ammunition, he’d be a dead man. Which from their threatening stance, annihilation could still be a possibility.
“The best thing for you to do is turn around and get the hell out of here.” Ben’s low warning throbbed intimidation.
Giles understood their desire to protect their sister, but he was just as determined to see her. “Under the circumstances, I don’t think Alex would appreciate me beating up on her brothers.”
“I’ll tear your heart out.” Ben took a menacing step.
Kit’s arm shot out. “Stand in line, Brother. He’s mine.”
“I have no quarrel with you.” Giles spoke to all three, but his gaze remained on Kit. “I don’t want to fight. I only want to talk with Alex.”
“But that’s just the thing.” Kit took his hat off, and shoved his fingers through his hair, and slapped it back on. “She don’t want nothing to do with you.”
Ben charged, ready to yank Giles from his horse. Sam hurried forward, grabbing Ben’s arm. Which seemed an insane move on Sam’s part, because with Ben’s massive arms, he’d easily swat off his brother like a pesky fly.
“We’re too close to the house.” Sam gave a nod over his shoulder. “She can see.”
Ben seemed to consider. Then he glanced up to Giles with a smile that held no warmth. “Let’s take the duke somewhere and explain his mistake in coming here.”
“The south end.” Kit’s jaw clenched and his lip curled up in fury.
If her brothers wanted to fight, that was ripping fine with him. God knew he would love to get this over with, but by the looks of these three, he was in for one hell of a battle. With Sam and Ben riding along on each side, he followed Kit to an open field.
“We won’t gang up on you, Brit,” Ben said as he dismounted. “We’ll give you a sporting chance.”
“We’ll take turns,” Sam added. “And I get first crack.”
“You’ll get your shot, youngling.” Kit slapped his brother on the back. “But Ben here is a pugilist. He’s had more practice boxing with his fists.”
Bloody hellfire. That explained the broader width of Ben’s chest.
“Let’s get this over with.” Giles dismounted from his horse.
“A mite anxious, ain’t ya, Brit?”
“I want this business done so I can be with Alex.” Relying on skills he’d perfected during his spying days, Giles deemed the odds were just about even.
“You’ll not be with Alex!” Ben shouted.
“You’ll not be dishonoring Alex with your disgraceful sordidness. Where is the little wife?” Kit asked. “Leave her in your castle in England?”
“I’ll rip you apart with my bare hands.” Ben threw his first punch, which Giles easily sidestepped.
“I don’t have a wife.”
“Never took you for a liar.” Kit stared, disgust evident in his accusing eyes.
“You forget we were at the wedding.” Ben sneered and threw another punch. Giles dodged again.
“You don’t care a fig about our sister,” Sam accused.
“I’m here to dispel that idea.” Giles raised his fists, sharpening his guard.
“Old attitudes die hard.” Kit’s lips tightened with resentment. Two blurred fists came at him from the side while his attention remained on Kit. Giles ducked and spun about.
“She’s built a life without you. Why don’t you just go about your blasted business and stay away from her?”
“You broke her heart.” Sam’s voice grew louder as he stepped nearer. The brothers were closing in.
“Just so you know, I’ve been miserable for three long years.”
“Not good enough.” Ben threw another punch.
Giles’ head whipped back with a snap. He could blame his distraction on the other brothers, but even his reflexes were swayed by his obsession with Alex. He shook the hair out of his face.
“Didn’t look miserable in your black tails at the church.”
“I assure you—”
“Your assurance means nothing.” A fist to the side of his head. Bloody hell. Stars exploded in front of his eyes. Then, intense pain shot to his ribs. Damn, Ben was fast for his bulk. Fighting her brothers would not be a good way of gaining back the woman he loved. But he needed to live long enough to convince her of his intentions.
“She cares for me still.” In the lagoon she’d showed him how much. Her brothers could beat him to a bloody pulp, but he threw the gauntlet. “I tasted it on her lips only moments ago.”
“Let me at him,” Sam cried.
“Why, you bastard—” Ben hit him again.
Giles threw his arms up to block and sidestepped. Ben hurtled by so fast he lost his balance and nearly ended up in the dirt. An arm grabbed Giles from behind, spinning him around.
“I want you to see it coming.”
He saw Sam’s fist. Felt it, too. Bugger packed a wallop of a punch. Still, Giles did not hit him back. Next thing he knew, Ben slammed him in the gut. Down he went.
Holy hell.
“What’s the matter, Brit? I expected more of a challenge.” Ben lunged with his right. Giles felt the ground bounce off his head.
Kit intervened. “Give me one reason I should not kill you.”
Good God, if Kit thought he had to protect his sister’s honor, he would fight like a man possessed. Now was the time for Giles to defend himself.
Kit circled three steps, then lunged forward. Giles’ intuition had never let him down, so he’d been ready for attack. But Kit did not let up. After several punches to his face and gut, Kit spun around and kicked. Much to Giles’ chagrin, he landed in the dirt. The last man to plant him on his arse was Morgan. Damn if Kit didn’t fight like his friend.
Pain sliced his side. He crawled from the ground ready to pounce on his opponent.
“Admit you lie. Alex would never . . .” In mid-sentence, Sam swung a fist.
Giles easily avoided the blow. Furious and red with humiliation, Sam tried again.
; “You deserve to have your teeth knocked down your throat for defaming our sister.” Ben swung the same instant as Sam.
With fists coming from two directions, Giles meant to block Sam and punch Ben. Instead, he struck Sam. Kit shoved into the mix and the three pummeled until all he saw was a blur.
He wouldn’t be able to proclaim his love to Alex if her brothers killed him. He’d already wasted too much time. Three blasted years for him to come to what little sense he had left. If he couldn’t convince them, or her . . . he refused to even consider the possibility.
No retreat. No surrender.
The motto of his spying days spurred him on. He would have Alex, by God. Nothing less. But, even with his skills, three experienced fighters—two of them nearly equaling his abilities—gave him a pounding.
Gasping with pain, and holding his ribs, Giles climbed onto his knees. Ignoring the jarring pain in his leg, he stood. Every bone in his body ached. He elevated his arms and held out his unsteady fists.
“You got muck for brains, Brit.” Ben glared and raised bloody knuckles. At least the man had his share of injury, although Giles figured most of the blood was more than likely his own.
“I love her.” He tried again to convince them his intentions were most honorable. “I want to make Alex my wife.”
“You already got a wife.” Ben threw a fist. Giles heard his bone cheek crunch.
Lying on the ground, he stared at Ben through swollen eyes. “I told you,” he gasped. “No vows were spoken.”
“Are you going to leave willingly?” Kit ground out. “Or do you need more convincing?”
Seeing the bruise beginning on Kit’s face, Giles grinned. A few of his punches had hit their mark. Then he groaned as his split lip screamed in protest.
“Throw the bastard off our land.” Veins stood out on Sam’s neck.
Giles braced both hands on the ground, palms down, preparing to stand. Maybe his legs would cooperate.
“You’re a stubborn cuss, I’ll give you that,” Kit said with deep breaths. “She’s doing just fine without you.”
But I am nothing without her.
“I made a mistake.” He barely recognized his own voice. Laced with pain, his lungs close to punctured, he gasped his next breath.
“Mistake?” Kit repeated. “The only mistake I see is you coming here after I warned you to stay away.”
Giles wiped the blood from his eyes. “I will not beg. And I will not go away.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Brit.” Ben growled and raised his fists.
“You left years ago. Too late to change your mind,” Sam yelled.
“I never stopped loving her. I’ll move heaven and earth to make things right.” Giles glared from one man to the other, determined to get his meaning across. He would not back down. He would not leave without seeing her.
Kit peered into his eyes as if he could extract the truth from Giles’ brain. Long moments passed in stony silence. Christ, would they beat him to a bloody pulp? He feared he had very little left. Ben and Sam seemed to be waiting on Kit. For what, only God knew. Was this to be his end? They had better kill him. For if they left him alive, he would return. Alex was worth every drop he bled.
“Do you know how much time passed before she even laughed again?”
“Kit, damn it.” Ben whirled to his brother in surprise. “What are you thinking? Are you insane?”
Ignoring Ben, Kit added, “I will not allow you to inflict more pain.”
“You can’t be serious,” Sam spat.
“The girl hates him. And if she has forgotten what happened three years ago,” Ben turned his scowl on Giles, “I will gladly remind her.”
Kit appeared deep in thought, wavering, undecided.
Giles shoved to one knee. Burning pain lanced his side.
“I told you to stay down,” Ben growled.
He raised his head, focusing on Kit. “I’m as good as my word.”
“What of your word when you gave it to our sister?” Sam asked.
“I tried to explain.” Giles grunted. He might have a broken rib or two. “I never meant to hurt her.”
“Well, you did.”
“Enough of this. Let’s haul his carcass out of here.”
Chapter 30
Every day for three years, Alex had prayed to forget. To rip him from her memory. To make the pain a little less. After months of being numb, she finally learned she could function again. After months of her mother’s sad eyes and Papa’s fierce scowl, she realized what she’d put her family through. Her brothers stomped around in their normal huff like bulls in a pasture. They’d roused her from her doldrums and even succeeded in making her laugh. Kit convinced her to put the past behind her.
Life was for the living and one could not live in the past.
Now her past had risen to haunt her.
Only Kit knew how deeply she’d suffered when he told her of Giles’ wedding. He knew what the information had cost her, understood what Mama and Papa could not. If Giles could not love her, the way she had loved him, better an ocean between them.
How many times had she wondered if he was happy? If he loved his new wife? The man deserved her ridicule. After three years, the pain had lessened to a dull ache.
And the moment she saw him? All past injustices were forgotten.
She flung open a window in an attempt to cool her flaming cheeks. Her duke was here. Her body warmed at the unwelcome images of his naked flesh. At this rate, she’d never be relieved of the oppressive heat. Had she really just left Giles’ embrace? Three blasted years and she still craved him. She clutched her arms about her waist. Months ago she decided to put the whole business behind her. At least her mind had finally accepted what was not meant to be.
Her heart was another matter altogether. Her heart just couldn’t let go.
She loved Giles as much today, if not more, than when he left. The shiny black curl over his brow made her heart remember too much. Such as how heated his lips were on her skin. How his tongue twined with hers in a dance made only for lovers. How being in his embrace made her safe and warm like no amount of heat from any blazing fire. How his gaze melted her bones.
Appalled, she fell across her bed and grabbed her pillow, burying her nose in the clean smell. His scent drifted into her mind. Sandalwood and leather. And a tang of something which could only be Giles. His heat. His smell. How she’d missed him. Broad shoulders, trim waist, standing so strong and bold like a lean, ravenous beast . . .
Her heart galloped, fast and pounding, the way it did when she raced Stardust hell for leather across the open fields.
She pressed her face in the cushioned pillow and tried to squash his image. Silken and rigid and hot. The yearning in his dark eyes mirrored the longing in her heart. How could she resist when her body cried out for his?
She would have died had he not touched her. Made love with her. Her face flamed at how eagerly she’d returned his caresses. She’d acted the harlot. Was she scampering down the road to self-destruction?
Their lovemaking had been so intense. Not the joining with an innocent as their first time, but more earth shattering. Souls connecting.
God, would this pain ever go away? Just when she thought she could endure, he had to enter her life again. Foreboding oozed an icy path down her backbone. She could not bear the heartache again.
She’d surrendered too quickly. How could she have lain with him? Her traitorous body bent to his will. Oh, but how could a girl take on blame, when such a magnificent creature stood before her in all his naked glory? She’d never seen a demi god. But Giles’ perfection surpassed any being in the human world. The powerful magnetism of his devastatingly good looks worked against any resistance. His heated gaze lured her, making the empty years dissolve like ash
es to dust.
She shivered. If only she could think clearly. She must be strong and not allow triggers of hope. Kill any notion of ‘maybe’ before those notions grew to real wants and desires.
A part of her she’d sworn never to acknowledge again, reared its ugly head. Agony pierced her breast. Pain—as fierce as the day he’d left—stabbed her center. Tears pooled and blurred her vision. She viciously swiped them away.
At almost twenty-one, she’d matured, grown stronger. And, she had thought, wiser. Her actions this afternoon were most distressingly far from wise. At least she left with some of her dignity still intact. She had spurned him.
She punched the pillow, venting frustration. Guilt. She’d had enough of the blasted compunction controlling her life over the past several years. Nothing seemed so clear-cut anymore. She should have learned her lesson long ago. Today proved she’d lost track of any well intentions.
The knock came a second time before she realized someone was at her door.
“Alex. It’s Papa.”
Dear Lord. Did he know she’d seen Giles? Papa believed his only daughter hated the man who broke her heart.
“Just a minute, please.”
She hurried to her vanity to check her appearance. Grabbing a handkerchief, she dabbed at her nose. The blasted thing was red. Oh well. She could never fool him anyway. Sitting in her niche by the window, she called, “You can come in now.”
He glanced her way, knowing she’d not been idly sitting on the window seat. Then he cleared his throat.
“I saw you when you returned. Didn’t give much time to taking care of Stardust.”
“Sam is cooling him down for me.”
“Hmmm.”
What did that mean?
“I know you taught me to take care of my horse, but . . . I . . .”
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