one arm ready to signal the crossbowmen. Time to speak.
“This is no sacrifice for me. This is what I do, what I choose to do. Protect good people from the likes of you. I do not fear death, it is but the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. And I am not alone, my Goddess is with me. But you are right about one thing, this does indeed end now.”
The first tremors shake the temple hall. Cries of alarm come from the Moryx.
“I think you have forgotten where you are, Moryx Lord. This is the island of Erys and it is sacred to our Goddess of the Earth. You have defiled it and greatly angered my Goddess.” The Earth shakes again and cracks start to appear in the walls. The soldiers are terrified now, scrambling to escape the hall. Their leader snatches a crossbow from one of his men and takes aim at me but another tremor throws him to the ground. I raise my voice:
“That is the voice of my Goddess. Are you listening Moryx lord? She speaks to you.”
The shaking stops and there are a few brief seconds of silence before an ear-splitting roar shatters the air. Eryssen’s peak has exploded in fire and smoke. Balls of molten rock smash into the docked Moryxan ships, setting them ablaze and sinking them. The land heaves and shakes and with it the temple hall. The walls and the floor crack open, then shatter apart. The Moryx fall into the violently churning sea below, together with splintered marble blocks and chunks of rock as the cliff opposite disintegrates. Finally, the floor beneath me gives way and I fall into darkness and the loving embrace of my Goddess.
Mother
Beep……beep…….beep……beep
The steady beep of the heart monitor lets me know where I am as I drift back to consciousness. Hospital. I feel the life inside me stir. Patience little one, it is not your time yet. I move a hand to cover my bulging belly and the calmness returns.
“Hannah?”
I open my eyes and see a beloved face – Ben, my husband, lover, father. I smile but I can see tears rolling down his cheeks. I see love, relief and grief in his face as he takes hold of my hand.
“Hello love, how did I get here? What happened?”
“You started feeling really unwell so I called an ambulance. You collapsed as they arrived. The paramedics were wonderful, they gave you CPR, got you stabilised and then rushed us here.” He sees the unasked questions in my eyes. “The doctors say our baby is fine, all the tests they’ve done say she is healthy and well.”
It’s odd, I’m not feeling relieved at this news. It’s as if I already know our daughter is well. And if she is well, then….
“Ben, tell me, tell me everything.”
Colour drains from Ben’s face, he is struggling to come to terms with what he knows. I give his hand a big squeeze.
“Just tell me Ben. It’s OK, just tell me.”
“Oh Han, there’s so little time. They,” he points at two doctors standing at the end of the bed, “they’re asking me to make a decision and I can’t, I just can’t. But I have to or I could lose both you and our baby and there’s so little time.”
The anguish in his face, his voice, stabs into me but I find a smile, squeeze his hand again.
“Go on Ben. I’m strong enough, really I am.”
He takes a few breaths, then, in a quiet strong voice he tells me.
“The doctors say that there is something wrong with your heart, a weakness that has been hidden until now. They say they can correct what’s wrong but they need to operate now, before your heart is placed under any more strain.” He takes a few more deep breaths before continuing. I can see how hard it is for him to stay calm and keep himself together for me. I love him so much and I’ve never been prouder of him than at this moment. “But there’s a strong possibility the procedure and the drugs they will need to use will hurt our baby. And they think you’re unlikely to survive if we allow the pregnancy to go to term without the operation. Even a Caesarean would put too much strain on your heart. Oh Han, we’ve got to decide now and I don’t know what to do, I don’t.” Tears are flowing down his cheeks and my heart goes out to him.
Somehow, this isn’t a shock – again it seems as if I already knew this, felt the weakness in my body. I feel my daughter stir again inside me – I think she knows and is telling me she wants to be born now. Resolution and clarity come, I know what I must do now. I must help Ben make the decision. I wipe the tears from his face.
“Ben, we cannot do anything that will hurt our baby. We cannot. We could not live with ourselves if we saved my life at the expense of hers. You know we couldn’t.” Words won’t come but he slowly nods in agreement. “I can feel her, she’s been knocking on the door for a while, she knows she has to come into the world now. Promise me Ben, promise me our baby comes first. You must promise, Ellie comes first.”
He starts to argue then sees absolute determination in my eyes and he nods once, tears in his eyes.
“But I can’t lose you. I…..I don’t know how to live without you.” His voice is choked with emotion. This is so hard, so hard. But I know with absolute certainty we must do everything we can to protect our daughter.
“Ben my love, I will always be with you.” I place my hand over his heart. “Keep me here and I’ll always be with you and a part of me will always be in Ellie, just as she has been a part of me.”
“Ellie?” puzzlement breaks through his grief.
I smile. “Oh, didn’t I tell you? Our daughter’s name is Eleanor Anne but you can call her Ellie, she’ll like that.”
A doctor touches Ben’s arm, without looking he tells her we’re putting our daughter first. Her protest is stilled when she sees the look on our faces. She issues instructions to the nursing team to prepare for an emergency delivery. I touch my fingers to my lips, then place them on Ben’s.
“Thank you.”
I relax and the contractions start. Groaning I grab hold of Ben’s hand as the heart rate monitor starts beeping madly.
“Ellie’s coming, Ben, she’s coming now.” Ben turns to tell the doctors but they’re already moving, giving instructions. The nurses manoeuvre me into a better position to deliver Ellie, then the next contraction hits. I hold onto Ben’s hand and concentrate on my breathing. Two more contractions come and go and then I get the urge to push.
“Well done Hannah, you’re doing brilliantly, I can see baby’s head.” That was one of the doctors. “I need you to push slowly now, can you do that?”
Puuussssshhhing.
“Baby’s head is out, you’re doing so well Hannah. Next time you push I want you to give it all you can.”
I’m almost spent but from somewhere comes the strength for one last immense effort.
“Baby’s coming Hannah, she’s coming. Keep pushing. Baby’s here.”
Joy fills me as I hear Ellie’s first cries and these words from the doctor:
“You have a beautiful daughter Hannah.”
I’m fading but will myself to hold on, just a little longer. I hold out my arms and Ben places Ellie gently in them.
“Hello little one. You’re going to do great things in this world Ellie. I’m sorry I’m not going to be there to see them but your Dad will and he’s going to love you to bits and take care of you.”
I lift my arms up and give Ellie back to Ben. I can only see Ben and Ellie now and I drift into darkness, smiling.
Guardian
Sunlight and Glastonbury come back with a rush and I hear Iridis.
“This is your life’s purpose Garyth, to be a Guardian, to save those who must be saved throughout time.”
All my past lives, all the people I have saved are open to me now and with them comes acceptance of what I am and what I do. I remember them all. I am lost in wonder, so many, so very many. I look at Iridis, she smiles gently as she answers my unspoken questions.
“Sometimes, Guardians become disconnected from their purpose and forget who they are. We watch the Guardians and intervene if we see one drifting off th
eir path, as you were doing.”
I raise a questioning eyebrow but I know she isn’t going to tell me who ‘we’ are.
“I must go now but I will see you again. And don’t worry, when the time comes you’ll know what to do, you always do.”
I glance behind me as a shriek of laughter distracts me. Iridis is gone when I look back. I collapse onto a nearby bench, close my eyes and listen – passing cars, gentle guitar chords, snatches of conversation, a child’s laughter, a frantic shout. Eyes open I see an escaped balloon, a child in pursuit, a car rounding the corner. Without thinking I leap off the bench, reach the child and pull him back to the pavement. Momentum sends me into the path of the car. Impact then darkness.
I awake to the sound of a siren. I am in an ambulance, there is no pain. I touch the arm of the paramedic sat next to me.
“The child?”
My voice is barely a whisper.
“Hush, don’t try to speak.
Concern is etched on her face as she anxiously checks her monitors.
I try again.
“The child?”
“Is safe, you saved his life”
My hand, still holding the rainbow crystal,
Falling Into Light Page 3