by Mary Blayney
It was about what it was always about when she was alone with Cruz. It was about the pain she felt not being with him. Molly leaned into him and kissed him with a passion that made her hurt everywhere.
He kissed her back, as if she were water and he hadn’t had a drink in days.
When at last he pulled away, she felt the imprint of his body on hers, and the heat of his lips on her mouth.
“If we’re not friends, what are we, Cruz? What is all this really about?”
He pressed his finger hard against his lips. “Don’t. Don’t ask me these things.” His voice was ragged.
“Do you still love me? Is that it? Just tell me, just say it.”
“You’re marrying another man.” He squeezed her against his chest and she felt him tremble. “This is your choice. You want a life in the spotlight, where you belong to everyone, not just to me.”
She burrowed her head against his arm. Cruz smelled like the earth, like his leather truck seat, like the time a million years ago when she believed her life would be perfect one day, if only he loved her.
At that moment she knew he did still love her, even if he wouldn’t say the words. But it didn’t matter. Nothing about her life as it was now could make this perfect.
“I love you still, Cruz,” she whispered.“You know that. We need to deal with this before either of us commits to someone else. You don’t want me to marry Ben because you still love me. I can see that in your face.”
“You have no idea what you’re seeing in my face,” Cruz said. He dropped his arms. His eyes shined in the bright light.
“I see the truth.”
“The only truth is there’s nothing else to work out with ‘Cruz and Molly’. That’s over with. Don’t pretend we can be any part of each other’s life. If we don’t cut each other off completely, we’ll just keep blowing up any other relationship we try and have. We need to lay this to rest once and forever. Right now.”
Molly felt heat and anger rolling off his body. But she also felt hunger. Cruz’s passion for her coated her skin like honey.
Molly grabbed his shirt. “My mother is right. You’re playing an elaborate game with yourself. We’ve been circling around each other for the past three years, avoiding any hint of starting up our relationship again. But that’s not what either of us want. Mother said a few days ago we were both being too stubborn. But I didn’t realize how dishonest both of us are. Not until tonight, not until a few minutes ago.”
“Stop it. This isn’t a conversation we should be having now,”
“If not now, when? I think I was hoping somewhere inside my heart that getting engaged to Ben might finally bring you back to me. That you’d tell me to call it off with him. That we could find a way to be happy.” She put her arms around his neck, her mouth an inch away from his lips. “Do you want me to come back to you?”
Cruz stared at her for a long moment as the storm of emotion in his eyes receded. He sighed and took her face in his hands and gave her an almost kiss, a brief brush of his lips against hers. Then he stepped out of her embrace.
“It’s too late. It’s been too late for years.” He turned and walked out of the bathroom. “And I won’t be coming to Cabo. My old truck isn’t up to the trip, and neither am I. Please don’t even think of me as a friend anymore,” he said over his shoulder.
Molly gasped at his words.
Numbly she listened as his footsteps echoed down the hallway. She heard the front door slam. It opened again almost immediately and the agitated voices of her mother and relatives, accompanied by barking dogs, filled the hall, the noise barreling toward her like a sonic tumbleweed.
She closed the bathroom door and locked it, and leaned against it. Tears streamed down her face. She prayed no one would come right away to see how she was doing, because there was no way she could begin to describe the crush of humiliation and bitterness creeping through every part of her.
Chapter Five
Cabo San Lucas, Baja California
August 13, 2010 4 p.m.
Okay, Artie. I hear you. I’ll be in touch in a couple of days. We’re staying here in Mexico until the 15th, and then we’re going on to Rome. I’ve agreed with Ben to do a press event there before the festival. But just one. One sit–down with the newlyweds should satisfy them.”
Molly said her goodbyes and put down the phone carefully. Her fingernails were dry and her toes, just burnished by the hotel’s best manicurist with a sparkly purple called ‘Jamaican Me Crazy’ were drying. Her blonde hair was wrapped in a towel, awaiting the arrival of Juju St. Claire. She was the best combo hair and makeup artist in the business, and Molly had become personal friends with her on her last movie.
Molly had coaxed her into coming down for the weekend with a promise of a short schedule and time to play. She’d said it was for a magazine interview and shoot, and didn’t mind the lie as Juju would be thrilled at being one of the wedding guests.
She took a sip from her champagne. Her two best girls, loyal friends since high school, Honey Adams and Lisa March, were expected at the hotel in the next hour. She was sure Juju would happily do their hair and makeup tomorrow, too, and they were all booked with the hotel masseuse. It was going to be a regular girl party before the big do.
A bride. I’m going to be the bride.
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. She was an actress, but she had always been uneasy being the center of attention. She could never do theatre for that reason. She could block a film crew from her mind, but paying customers, strangers, sitting and staring, made her want to flee.
But this is different. We’ll just be in front of people who love me and Ben.
Molly eyed her dress hanging across the room. White watered silk, the sleeveless bodice overlaid with a lace of palest moss green, the dress was fitted and romantic and would show off every good thing about her figure. Next to it hung her mother’s veil, updated with the same lace as her dress and sparkly with the original rhinestones.
She would wear Norma’s mother’s Art Deco emerald earrings and new La Perla lingerie. There were roses and music and small silver vases engraved with the day. The wedding details all perfect to the naked eye, amazingly pulled together in less than two weeks. Their guests would surely enjoy it all.
Molly’s eyes filled with tears. Everything might be perfect on the outside, but inside her emotions were raw and scabbed over, just like her knees.
She hadn’t heard a word from Cruz, hadn’t spoken to him, or seen him, since that terrible night ten days ago when her engagement party turned into a fiasco, and she’d made a fool of herself to the man who had taught her what love was.
How could I have said those things to him? Molly pressed her fingers over her eyelids to squash the tears. It was the worst possible thing to do with Cruz, bare my heart and confront him.
It made her dizzy with regret to remember that scene. To remember one last time that he didn’t love her enough to let her be who she wanted to be. That he didn’t have enough faith that their love for each other was strong enough for her to straddle both roles as movie actress and his wife.
Molly shuddered. To make matters worse, she realized now that if he had said, “Yes, break your engagement and come back to me,” she wasn’t sure they could have made it work. For nothing was different. He wanted privacy. Anonymity. She wanted to make good films.
We’d be right back where we were three years ago. Thank god Cruz had left before I said anything more.
It had been selfish and impulsive of her to say what she had to him. She’d panicked, just like her mother said she always did. And she’d nearly ruined two relationships, his with Shar and hers with Ben.
The day after, she’d spent hours on the phone with Ben. He’d been full of apologies and fury at what had happened. He understood her embarrassment, and her mother’s disappointment.
He’d promised to never do anything like that again.
Say what you will about Ben, she thought, he learns from his mi
stakes faster than I do.
“I realize we’re in this together now,” he’d told her. “I want you to know you can count on me, no matter what.”
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Molly drained the champagne and waddled to the door to keep her toes from rubbing against the thick carpet. She hadn’t told Honey or Lisa about what had happened with Cruz, she hadn’t discussed it with anyone. Her mother had looked at her with probing eyes, but had been too exhausted by the night’s ordeal to press her.
Thank god for small favors, Molly thought and pulled the door open.
“Mrs. Delmonico, I presume?” Ben stood there smiling, dressed in a summer white shirt and slacks, holding about ten dozen heirloom roses in his arms.
“Oh my gosh!” She grinned and darted a glance in both directions of the hallway, and then hugged him, damn the fingernails. “Oh, Ben! They’re gorgeous.” Molly put her nose up to the mass of orange roses, edged with the exact green color of the lace on her wedding gown. “Where did you get these? I’m going to call and get some vases. We’ll use them on the tables tomorrow.”
“I had them flown in.” Ben beamed. “I know you went crazy for them at that Elektra Records party we went to in Malibu, and I remembered.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “See? I might be rich and famous but I’ll be a good husband who takes note of what his wife wants. Even if she wants flowers with too many thorns.”
“Truth and roses have thorns about them,” she said, quoting the line from Thoreau that hung on a picture on Cruz’s office wall. “I appreciate you giving me what I want, even if you don’t like them.”
“I like making you happy.” He turned his head sideways, as if he were seeing something about her for the first time. “We’re a lot alike, you know. Smart. Not sentimental. I saw that last week after the engagement party turned into a debacle. You didn’t get all girly and hysterical. I really liked the way you handled yourself that night, Molly. Especially the way you accepted that I had to get out of there and on that plane. Most women would have chewed me out for not staying with them, but you get the priorities of this profession.”
She cocked her right eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m not your top priority?”
“No, god no!” He laughed nervously.”
She gave him a quick kiss. “Come on, I’m teasing.” She knew she was being petty, after he was trying to be so kind. “I think we both have learned again how tough this business is on relationships. But let’s not talk about that night again, okay? I think we covered it in all those phone calls these past couple of days.”
“We did. So here’s the new and improved Ben Delmonico, nothing but attentive, mature and discreet.”
“That’s a definite improvement.” She smiled, but her voice was serious. “It really is important to me, Ben. I don’t like being the subject of ridicule in the press.”
“Neither do I. I shouldn’t have put us in that position, just because I wanted you so bad. Especially since that fucking photo of me with my pants unzipped in the Post is everywhere, even the London rags. I don’t know why those asshole photographers can’t ever get me from my left side.”
She laughed and the tension between them subsided. “Vanity, thy name is Ben. The picture of me with my boobs hanging out wasn’t very flattering either. I’m a serious actress, you know. Not one who trades on giving people an eyeful. That’s private.”
“It’s private and for me. But you do have a delicious rack, and I have to admit I like it when the other guys see what they can’t have.” He pushed her door closed with his foot. “And a little peek now and then won’t hurt you with any of the studio brass, because they know you’ve got talent, too.”
“Thanks. Let’s just both keep our private life private.”
“I hear you, Molly. I’ll just be glad if we can get our wedding production in the can without those idiots showing up here.” Ben walked into the suite and dumped the roses on her bed and then headed for the champagne.
Molly phoned downstairs and asked for the staff to come take the flowers. “Do you want something to eat?”
“I’m good.” Ben pointed to the towel around her head. “Are you running a little behind schedule, babe? It’s nearly four. Isn’t dinner in an hour?”
“No, no, we’re fine. The wedding is at five p.m. tomorrow. Dinner’s at eight tonight.”
“Oh, okay. I’m having trouble remembering what day it is.” Ben kicked off his shoes and sat with a sigh by the window. “London was grey and dismal. The food at the party was the worst. Little soggy sandwiches. You didn’t miss much. Except Madonna showed up. God, blondes really don’t age well.”
Molly blinked and put her hand to her head. “I saw Madonna in Vegas a couple of months ago. I thought she looked fabulous.”
“Yeah? Did you see her arms? She looks like an insect.” Ben downed the glass of champagne and picked up the half sandwich Molly had left on her lunch tray. “Since we’ve got time to kill, why don’t you come lay down here next to these roses and remind me of another reason why I’m marrying you. I can strip down and we’ll go the full Monty.” He grabbed his crotch. “I’m half–hard just looking at you. You got nothing on under that robe, do you?”
“Down boy. You stay put and keep your clothes on. You’re cut off until our wedding night. That way you’ll really enjoy it. Besides, I just called room service, and Honey and Lisa will be here any minute. They’re my close friends, but I’m not quite ready to share you in the buff with them.”
He flashed his teeth. “I could handle three of you.”
There was a soft knock at the door. “I’m sure you could, didn’t you in the last movie? Or was that a stunt double?” They both laughed as she opened the door.
Her mother and Marta stood there, smiling, their arms full of dozens of the very same style of roses Ben had just delivered. “Mom! Wow, let me take those from you.”
Molly reached for the flowers and ushered the women inside.
“I know how you love the heirlooms, Molly, so I arranged to have some flown in. Oh!” Norma stopped when she saw Ben sprawled in the chaise beside the bed. “Hello, Ben. I didn’t realize you’d arrived. And from the looks of it, you brought Molly’s favorite flowers too.”
“Great minds think alike,” he said with a grin.
“Yes, they do, don’t they? Remember that, young man. It appears I’m pretty good at thinking what you’re thinking.”
“Ah, thanks for the warning, Mother Wintz.” Ben smiled but didn’t sound that pleased at the thought.
“Oh, you two, it doesn’t matter who thought of what first. It was a completely fabulous thing for both of you to do,” Molly said. “You can’t ever have too many flowers around. Thank you for remembering how much I love them.”
Marta put the bundles on the table next to the champagne and a minute later Molly let in the room service crew, who wheeled in a cart to carry the roses away and arrange them for the party tomorrow.
Molly asked them to leave two bunches and bring up some small vases so she could arrange them.
“Let me do that for you, Molly,” Marta protested. “You relax. I need something to keep busy.”
“Okay, thank you, Marta. But you’re not working this week. You could relax and go for a swim.”
“Maybe later,” she said. “I’ll take these to my room and do them.”
Ben said his goodbyes and kissed Molly while blatantly squeezing her ass, much to Norma’s disapproval, and five minutes later Norma and Molly sat alone with fresh champagne.
For several moments they silently looked out at the view of the Cabo San Lucas harbor and the sapphire waves of the Pacific.
Molly took Norma’s hand. “Thanks again. The roses are spectacular.”
“You’re welcome. Mine look much fresher than Ben’s.” Norma took a small white satin box out of the pocket of her jacket and handed it to Molly. “Your earrings.”
“They’re your earrings. Your mother’s.”
“Well now they
’re yours, from your mother. Wear them in good health, my wonderful girl.”
Molly stared at Norma. There were a million thoughts swirling in her head, but she settled on one. “How are you feeling, Mom? I think you’re looking a little skinny. Are you still feeling dizzy?”
“Who told you I was dizzy?”
“Mr. Garcia mentioned it to Marta. I heard him. Have you seen your doctor? You promised Jason you would go.”
She dismissed this question with a wave of her hand. “I’m fine. I’ve never carried an ounce of extra weight in my life, you know that.”
Molly frowned. She’d heard Norma say that a million times since she was six, and resented it every time. “Honey and Lisa will be here soon. I got my friend Juju, who is a fabulous makeup artist, to fly in and do our faces for tomorrow.”
“Did you tell her about the wedding?”
“No, of course not. But I would have invited her anyway. I think you’ll all get a kick out her. Last time I saw her she had purple contact lenses and red hair. She’s very interesting.”
Norma nodded and made a tent of her fingers, her gaze focused on the horizon. “Marta said Cruz called last night. He asked what time the wedding was tomorrow.”
Molly’s heart clanked in her chest. “Oh? Why, I wonder?” Her pulse sped up. “Does that mean he’s coming?”
“No. Marta’s sure he isn’t coming. She said that terrible scene at the hotel last week convinced him to never come near another event given by this family.” Norma turned to her. “Did something happen between you two that night?”
“Something?” Molly sighed. “Yes. It did. But it’s nothing I want to talk about.”
“Now? Or ever?”
Tears burned her eyes but Molly knew she could not once again give into the swell of sadness that rose in her chest. “Mom, let it go, okay. I’m fine now, really.”
Norma must have heard something in her daughter’s voice she’d hadn’t before. She turned back to the water without pressing for more information. “I miss Charles so much right now. He’d be thrilled to see you as a bride. See you settled.”