Azriel releases me and glares at his brother. “I didn’t do anything. I just told her the boys and I would kick your ass if you did something to her,” he says angrily.
Ezra’s mouth drops open. “What?”
“I’m just saying, brother, you know how we all feel about Lanee. If you did something with Roxy and were caught, then I’m going to call Levi to help me kick your ass,” Azriel tells him. He glances at me when I sniffle, trying to calm down my emotions.
“I didn’t do anything,” Ezra snaps, taking a seat next to me. He puts his arm around me, and I tense.
“I came over to talk Ezra. I wanted to tell him the reason I didn’t call this last week was because I was watching my mom die in the hospital,” I begin slowly, turning my gaze to Ezra. “I needed to tell you I was… I came here to find Roxy leaving your room and you in a towel.” I almost told him I was pregnant, but I held that back. I needed to find out the reason he was half-naked first with Roxy in his room. I know he said he had jumped in the shower after a jog, but was that the whole truth? My head told me he was lying, but my heart wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe him.
“I can’t fucking believe you!” Azriel yells at him, standing up. He grabs Ezra by the shirt, hauling him to his feet roughly.
“Whoa! No! No!” Ezra shouts back. “It’s not like that.”
“Stop, Azriel,” I cry, standing up too fast and swaying on my feet again. My head is spinning, and Azriel catches me before I fall over.
“Okay, okay, calm down,” Azriel says softly, his eyes wide with panic.
Ezra is next to me, shoving his brother away. “Baby, I swear I did not do anything with her. I fucking swear on my life! She showed up when I was in the shower. I came out, and she was on my bed. I yelled at her to get out. She tried to undress and maul me, but I pushed her away. I didn’t do anything with her. I told her to get lost. I told her to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out. I didn’t fuck her! I haven’t been with anyone but you. I swear.”
I scowl at him hard, my face scrunching up as I take in the way he appears so sincere about this. I want to believe him. But the way she looked was convincing. Wasn’t it? I close my eyes, wiping away at the tears running down my cheeks. Am I wrong? Did nothing happen?
“Please, Lanee, I swear I wouldn’t touch her. I don’t know what she was doing in my room, but I wouldn’t touch her.” Ezra pleads with me, his eyes glossy with tears.
“But…she…”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. I fucking love you! I love you!”
I gasp, covering my hands with my mouth as he continues on, tears escaping his eyes.
“I should have told you at the fireworks, but I was scared. I didn’t want to spook you, but I think I fell in love with you at the club. There was something about you that made me do a double-take, seeing how vulnerable you were with people. I couldn’t stop myself when I saw that fight break out. I monitor people all the time in the club, but the minute you showed up, I was hit. I wasn’t good before you. I did do those terrible things with women, but when I saw you I knew I wanted to be better.”
“Um…I’m gonna leave,” Azriel stammers.
I don’t look at him when he says this. I’m too shocked at what Ezra has said to me. He loves me? I didn’t think he did given how he acted after we were intimate. It felt wrong when he pretended nothing had happened. “But…you acted cold.”
Ezra runs his hands through his hair. “I know. I didn’t know what to say. I love my brothers and I love my parents, but I never really thought I would find someone like you. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I feel it with you. I feel so much with you. I wasn’t lying when I told you I really liked you at your apartment that night you had a panic attack. I felt it then, but I didn’t want to scare you away. I have never wanted anything as bad as I want this. I do love you. I need you to understand that I would never have sex with Roxy. I don’t understand why she did what she did, but I’m all yours. I’m yours and you’re mine.”
Mine.
Holy hell! He is mine, and I’m his. I suddenly feel worse that I jumped to conclusions, but what was I supposed to think given what I saw? I’m sure he would have freaked out too if the situation was reversed. My heart is pounding hard with all of this news. He loves me!
“Please believe me about Roxy. I would never do that. I was scum not too long ago, but it’s in the past. I’m different now. I swear.” Ezra brings my hands to his lips, his eyes pleading with me to forgive him too.
“I believe you,” I say quickly. I do believe him. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, but it looked pretty convincing. I have to believe him when I know he told her to leave.
“Oh, thank God,” he says, pulling me into his arms.
I wrap my arms around his neck tightly, loving the warmth he gives me. I missed him so much. I wish I hadn’t pushed him away at first. I decide right there that I will always talk to him about things first. I don’t want any misunderstandings between us again because I love him. I want this to work. “I love you Ezra,” I whisper.
“I love you too, baby. I love you too,” he says, kissing my forehead.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Family Extensions
I sigh happily, loving the feeling of Ezra’s arms surrounding me. I really, really missed this the last few weeks. I’m snuggled up in his lap on the couch, and he is stroking my back slowly.
“I missed you,” I finally tell him.
“I missed you too. God, babe, I missed you so much.” He stills his hand when the front door bursts open, voices shouting his name. “In here!”
The two of us turn to see his mom and brother Levi rushing into the room. Ezra tenses under me, his brows rising, and Marta glares at him. We sit up, and I’m surprised when she takes me into her arms.
Um? What’s going on?
I don’t say a word when Marta leans back, her beautiful blues glossy with tears. “Are you okay, darling? Azriel called me and told me about your mom dying.” Her voice cracks with emotion.
Oh, shit! In all the arguing I had forgotten I had blurted that out to Ezra. I hear Azriel step into the room, his head bowed in shame for calling his mom, but I can’t fault him. I mean, he knew I was upset. I’ve been an emotional wreck since I got here, so it makes sense he would call his mom when they are so close.
“Shit, Lanee,” Ezra begins, but Marta snaps at him to be quiet.
“Sorry, Lanee. I was worried.” This is from Azriel.
“I…um, it’s okay,” I say softly.
“It’s not okay, darling. You’ve lost your only family,” she says, and I feel the tears well up again. These damn hormones are killing me. I don’t know how much more of this crying stuff I can take. I swear I haven’t cried this much in seven years. “We’re here for you. I want you to know that no matter what happens, you are dear to us.”
My heart soars high, and I hug her back tightly, enjoying the warmth she gives me. It has been so long since I’ve had a motherly hug, and hers makes me believe this is how it was supposed to be in my family. Her arms make me feel safe and warm like Ezra’s do.
“We all like you, Lanee,” Levi says with his signature Lanphear smile.
“Thank you both,” I say through a watery smile. “You too, Marta.”
Marta smiles brightly, but then she turns her gaze to Ezra. “As for you, young man. Azriel told me about that girl Roxy being here. What the hell was she doing here?”
“Ma!” Ezra says, his eyes widening. He glares at his brother before putting his arm around me, pulling me back to him. “It wasn’t like that. Roxy stopped by, and I kicked her out, but nothing happened. I’m in love with Lanee. I swear.”
“Thank God,” Levi mutters, and Marta squeals happily.
“I’m in love with you too,” I say, fidgeting under all this attention.
Marta’s eyes are shining with love too, and I wonder how all this has happened. I’ve gone through life with just Claudia at my side for so
long, and now I have Ezra and his family and soon, a baby. Oh, wow! I instinctively rub my belly, thinking about the baby that is growing there. I’m having Ezra’s baby, and I will have to tell him. I know he loves me now, but part of me is worried he might freak out about the pregnancy. This is all happening so fast.
“I don’t want to spoil all this love, but when is the funeral, Lanee?” Marta’s gaze is on my hands, and I stop rubbing my stomach. She doesn’t call me out on my actions, but she is a mother. She will know the signs of my pregnancy or even simple gestures like me rubbing my stomach.
I cringe. “I don’t know.” I see the surprise on her face. I know I will have to explain what transpired, but honestly I’m exhausted from all this emotion. I hate that I have to go through this.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Ezra asks me, his brows furrowed.
“I…” Shit. “My mom and I haven’t talked in years. Like six, to be exact. I don’t have anyone to help me with the arrangements. I have to set things up.”
Marta frowns sadly, and I bow my head, lacing my fingers together. She stands up, and I don’t know if she is upset about this news, but her reactions surprise me. She orders Levi to call their father and Azriel to call their brothers, and then she is taking my hands in hers. “We’re a family now, Lanee. We all need to be here for you.”
I look at her stunned. I’m in shock. Marta leads me into the kitchen, searching through cupboards. She finds a kettle and begins to fill it with water. I’m just sitting at the counter where she left me in awe. I didn’t mean to have her get the whole family together. I knew they were all really close, but I don’t want to spill my guts to them all. I don’t want them to know what a bad daughter I was for pushing my mom out of my life. I take deep breaths as I watch the woman who has been nothing but kind to me since I met her make tea for everyone. She forces me to eat fresh toast, seeing as I never did get to eat what Ezra had made me. I feel a little uncomfortable with all of this, but I know she has my best interest at heart. I relax and nibble on the toast while we wait for everyone to show up.
* * * *
Family means everything to the Lanphear’s, and I truly see it when everyone arrives. I’m blown away by each and every one of them. I’m pulled into tight hugs when someone enters the house, emotion welling up strong in my chest with their heartfelt words. When they surround me with love, I feel like I really am part of this family. I would never have thought I would be so meaningful to them. I’m even amazed when Claudia shows up. Apparently Azriel took Ezra’s phone and called her too. Including her in this “family meeting” is important to me.
I am nervous as I sit in the living room with these hulking men looking at me with so much compassion. Even Micca who I rarely had contact with is here for me too. It feels like I had been given an extended family the minute I started seeing Ezra, but I feared they wouldn’t like me after I told them some things. I don’t know what to say, but I need to get this off my chest. I feel safe with them all here. I had Ezra to my right and Claudia on my left. Marta and Caleb sit on the love seat across from us, and the boys are situated near them, Micca choosing to stand next to his parents.
“Before you start, Lanee, I want you to know you are part of the family and always will be,” Caleb begins, glancing around at his sons, smiling when they all nod. “We won’t judge you here. Family never judges family. We are a unit, and you are like a daughter to us.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, my voice trembling with nerves.
“And if Ezra does anything to you, we can kick his ass for you,” Issiah says, flexing his fists.
“Boys,” Caleb growls, though Issiah just shrugs. “Mouths. I raised respectful men, not foul-mouthed boys.”
I laugh. I can’t help it. I’ve never seen grown men shift uncomfortably like they do when Caleb reprimands them. It doesn’t faze them that they are adults, but it is nice to know they have a lot of respect for their parents. I rub my belly slowly, hoping that our baby will be the same way. I glance up and see Caleb’s gaze on me.
“I think all of you are wonderful for doing this for Lanee,” Claudia says, squeezing my hand lightly. She beams at me, and I give her a small smile.
“I don’t know where to start. I’m just afraid you all will dislike me when I tell you why I don’t know when the funeral is. Or why I haven’t talked to my mom in a long time.”
“Start wherever you need to, baby,” Ezra says, kissing the side of my head.
I blow out a breath before I begin. I go to pull my hand from Claudia’s and she shakes her head at me. I know she is my rock, and I’m glad she is here. I need her and Ezra. I’m lucky to have them both in my life.
“I haven’t talked to my mom in six years. I was estranged from her after my dad’s suicide.” I hear Marta gasp in surprise, but I don’t look directly at her. I steady my breathing and begin to tell them what happened seven years ago. I tell them about the rape and how my family fell apart after that. I explain how my mother pushed me into therapy, forcing me to take pills and then to talk about it.
I feel Ezra’s body tense beside me, anger rolling off him, but he doesn’t interrupt me. Actually, none of them say a word, they keep silent, but I see the tears in his parents’ eyes. I tell them my whole story. I say how depressed my father got, deciding in the end that he was to blame for what happened to me on the beach with Bryce. I hate pity, but I don’t see it in their faces when I look up. I’m shocked with all the compassion and pain in their eyes as I continue my story. I don’t like telling people about my past because it makes me feel dirty all over again, but I need them to understand why I pulled away from my mother. I’m broken, but I’m also healing. I have been on the mend for some time, but I feel like being here with Ezra’s family is fully healing me. I am surrounded by people who care about me. I have been isolated from people for so long, but here in the room with the Lanphears I feel like I have a family again.
I wish my father never committed suicide because I miss him more and more every day, but I have to think of how proud he would be of me now. I have grown so much over the last few months, more than I have in six years, and I think he would be smiling down at me happily. I loved my father more than anything, and I hated that he left me alone to be with my mother. In hindsight, I believe now that my mom was only doing what she was trained to do. She was trying to help me, but I was a wreck.
My throat feeling dry, I finish talking and take a drink of the semi warm tea Marta made me. I look around the room at them, and it is Ezra who startles me with his outburst.
“That asshole!” Ezra is up, pacing, running his hands through his hair.
“Ezra Joseph Lanphear!” Marta snaps, her eyes narrowing at her son.
“The thing is, the lawyer who came to the hospital gave me documents naming me her power of attorney. In the papers she says to take her off life support if she ever has a terrible accident. I made the decision to take her off life support. It hurt to know I will be alone. I have to make arrangements for her funeral, but I’m not sure where to start,” I tell them.
“Ma, do you think you could call that friend of yours over in Elk Point and find out funeral arrangements?” Micca asks when I’m done talking.
“Sure thing, darling. First thing in the morning I will call Elsie.” Marta looks to Ezra who is still fuming, pacing behind the couch. “Ezra, settle down.”
“I don’t want to! I can’t believe somebody could do that to my girl. I’m so pissed! I want to go find that fucker!” Ezra stops, his fists are clenched. My heart accelerates in my chest, and I feel fear shoot through me.
“Ez, come on, dude. Lanee doesn’t need you to freak out. You’re scaring her like this,” Levi says calmly, resting his hand on his brother.
Ezra shakes him off and turns his gaze to me. “I’m sorry, baby, but it upsets me. I knew you were scared sometimes, but I never thought about you being raped.” He embraces me in his arms and I relax, taking in the warmth his body gives me.
&nbs
p; “I’m getting better, Ezra. I feel a little better, thanks to you,” I say, pulling back from him.
“Me?” His eyes search mine. “How?”
“I don’t know, but you heal me. You made me want things I never thought I could. I haven’t been…um…you know…with anyone since my attack. I didn’t do relationships. I actually shied away from people.”
His eyes widen. “Oh.” Oh yes, oh. He gives me a lazy smile and kisses my lips chastely in front of his family. “I’m glad, baby.”
A throat clears, and Ezra turns toward his dad with me in his arms. Caleb is standing up, all six-foot-four, and holds his arms out to me. I go to him, and it makes my heart soar to be in his arms. It feels good to have a fatherly hug. I breathe him in—he smells like peppermint and the beach—and it reminds me of how my dad used to smell back in the day. It was my favorite smell for so long.
“Thank you for sharing with us, Lanee. We are here for you. All of us. We will be with you so that you aren’t alone in this,” Caleb tells me.
“Thank you,” I manage to say through tears.
Marta hugs me next, and I wish I could stop crying. I’ve cried so much lately that I should be dried up. She coos softly in my ear, her warm lips touching my head. “You need to calm yourself, darling girl. This isn’t good for the baby,” she says.
“What?” I ask her, my eyes wide.
“Baby?” Ezra asks next to me.
“You didn’t tell him yet?” Marta asks me, her confusion mixing with a deep blush for outing me right there.
“Um…I hadn’t told him.”
“Holy fuck! You’re pregnant?” Ezra twirls me around, and instead of horror or anger that I was expecting, I see a huge smile. His father scolds him about his language, but Ezra doesn’t apologize. He takes me in a hug, kissing the top of my head over and over.
Tears are flowing down my cheeks, and I can’t seem to stop them. I really didn’t expect him to find out this way. I was going to tell him later when everyone left for home. I’m not angry that Marta said something first. Instead, I’m overcome with joy. Before I know it, I’m passed around the room with every one of his brothers hugging me, telling me congratulations or welcome to the family. At the beginning it felt like a horrible day, but I couldn’t be happier right now. I know Ezra and I will have to talk more about this later, but I’m so happy that I’m part of this family. I’m so overwhelmed with happiness that I can’t stop crying.
Taken By Ezra (The Lanphear Men Book 1) Page 16