by Tia Siren
“I need your help with something tomorrow night,” I said. “Do you think you could do me a favor on your way out?”
Marcie smiled widely at me. “I’d be glad to help you. Whatever it is.”
“Thank you.”
I spent the next hour planning out the night with Marcie’s input. Afterward, I watched her join her husband outside as he waited for her. They kissed each other with a smile before climbing into their truck. It occurred to me then that I missed that sort of relationship and company at the end of the day. When sleeping with strangers, or even well-known acquaintances, a loneliness tended to follow you at every turn. The bed felt too cold, but I didn’t want to sleep in cold beds any longer. I just hoped that Joanna would be able to forgive me after spending the past few days pushing her away.
Chapter 20
Joanna
There were at least four apartments in Salt Lake City that were decently priced. I scrolled through a couple more rental listings. Going to the bank for a mortgage on a house was out of the question. Even if Bastian paid me well, the idea of dealing with the responsibility of a house didn’t sit right with me. Especially not knowing if I wanted to stay in Salt Lake or what I was going to do about Sid.
I closed my computer with a heavy sigh. A conflict of emotions tore through me as I gazed around the living room of Bastian’s log mansion, which had quickly become my office over the past few weeks. A part of me didn’t want to leave. Ever. It felt right sitting here on the couch, curled up in a soft blanket with work documents scattered about. The other part of me wanted to pick up my wounded pride and run as far away as possible before anything else could happen.
Running a hand through my hair, I gazed up at the stairway in the direction of Bastian’s office. He had yet to come out of his office, and he’d barely even acknowledged my existence this morning when handing down a few things he needed me to read over. I knew he wasn’t pleased about me possibly leaving Park City, but he couldn’t expect me to sit idle, either. Not after what had happened in the pool house.
A shudder went straight through me at the memory. I craved him—more than anything in my life. He wanted to spare me the feeling of being used, of landing in a situation that could spell heartbreak, but I was already there.
My phone buzzed from inside my sweater pocket. I pulled it out to glance down at the caller ID with a sigh.
“Hi, Mom,” I said. “Anymore strange phone calls?”
“Nothing after I demanded who was calling me,” she replied breezily. “They stopped real fast after that. I’m not sure who it was.”
I pulled the blanket tighter about my shoulders. “It was probably some woman Sid convinced to pretend she was Sabrina. Doing things like that aren’t out of the question for him.”
“It doesn’t matter now. The calls have stopped, so we can move on with our lives. Have you found an apartment yet in the city?”
“Nothing yet,” I said. “A few places of interest that I can afford, but I don’t even know if I want to stay here in Utah.”
“You can’t just run away from your problems. Besides, if you leave Utah, I won’t be a phone call away to help you—which is why I wish you would tell me where you are exactly.”
“I won’t be staying here much longer,” I said, playing with a thread in the blanket. “So, don’t worry about it. I’ll find an apartment around here if I have to stay in Utah.”
“I think it would be best if you stayed,” she said firmly. “I know things are tense with Sid, but you can’t just run away from him. You can’t ignore the fact that he is trying to find you.”
“The only reason he wants to find me is to—”
“Joanna.”
I stopped short to look up in surprise at the sound of Bastian’s voice. He stood in front of me with his hands tucked behind his back while he waited for me to regain my composure. His face was void of emotion, but a cold and hostile air didn’t cling to him like it had for the past few days.
“Hold on a second,” I told my mother before cradling the phone in my shoulder. “Yes? What do you need?”
“Nothing at the moment,” Bastian said smoothly. “I just need you to do me a favor. A personal one.”
I blinked in bafflement. “Okay. What’s the favor?”
“It’s been a while since I’ve been out of this place,” he said. “So, I thought it might do us good if we both go out to dinner. To talk about things and to get out of the house. We are both going stir-crazy.”
“You’re asking me out to dinner tonight?”
“That would be correct,” he said, nodding. “Would seven o’clock work for you?”
I clutched my phone tightly, aware that my mother could hear every word Bastian was saying. I didn’t know what to make of this sudden change of behavior, but I nodded up at him.
“Seven o’clock works,” I said.
“Wonderful. Wear something nice. It’s a very fancy place.”
He walked out of the living room without sparing me another glance. I pulled the phone back up to my ear as I tried to process the change of behavior all of a sudden. My mother let out an exasperated sigh.
“I thought there was nothing romantic going on between the two of you,” she said accusingly. “It sounds to me like there is something going on there. More than what you are willing to tell me about.”
“There’s nothing going on,” I said shakily. My heart was racing with adrenaline at the thought of dinner with Bastian. “I have to go, Mom. I’ll let you know what I’m thinking apartment-wise.”
“I have a feeling that’s going to change,” she replied, scoffing. “Again. As usual, you can’t decide what you want to do.”
I gritted my teeth in aggravation. “I’ll do my best to figure it out, Mom. I have to go. I’ll let you know about the apartment later.”
I quickly pushed back the blanket from my legs. I had at least three hours to get showered, shaved in all the right places, and plan out a decent outfit for dinner with Bastian. I had no idea where any of this would lead, but it was better than watching Bastian retreat into his office. It was better than feeling cold and lonely in this large mansion.
The next three hours passed by swiftly. I hurried out of the privacy of the guest room and headed down the stairs to find Bastian, dressed sharply in a casual, dark-colored shirt and pants, waiting for me. He buttoned up his heavy coat while turning to look at me with an appreciative smile. I let out a relieved breath to see some warmth back in his eyes versus the cold and distant demeanor I had been subjected to for the past few days.
“Hope you like real Italian food,” he said. “You’re in for a real treat at this place I’m going to take you.”
He handed my coat over to me before disappearing out the front door to warm the truck up. I slid into the warm sleeves before following him out into the cold and starless night. My breath puffed out in front of me in white clouds while I walked along the porch to the side steps, where I could hear the truck engine roaring to life. Bastian hopped out of the truck to open the passenger door for me.
“You should’ve waited inside,” he said as I climbed into the passenger seat. “I don’t want you freezing your buns out here tonight.”
I laughed while he closed the door. The blast of the heater combated the chill determined to cling to every inch of me. It didn’t matter, though. I was glowing inside with relief to see this change. Spending the past few days tucked away in the living room had been more than enough to drive me crazy. Crazy enough to want to find a new place to live.
Bastian got in behind the steering wheel after scraping the front window free of ice. He then backed the truck up to pull down the snowy road in the direction of Salt Lake City. We drove along in silence for a long time before Bastian pulled onto one of the off-ramps on the outskirts of Salt Lake. I watched as we pulled up to what appeared to be a small restaurant with twinkling lights strung about the entire porch. Only a few cars were parked outside as Bastian parked and turned the engine of
f. He turned to smile at me.
“This is my favorite restaurant,” he said. “I hope you like it.”
“I’m sure I will,” I said. “I’m just a bit confused about why you are doing this all of a sudden.”
His eyebrows furrowed together. “Doing what?”
“This.” I gestured at the cozy-looking restaurant. “You haven’t spoken to me, really, for days. Why are you doing this?”
Bastian opened the door with a chuckle. “Well, you can figure that out if you come inside. I’m not going to sit in the cold while we starve to death.”
The small restaurant reminded me of a cottage mixed with the culture of Italy. A fire roared in a fireplace while I followed Bastian and our host to a small room away from the rest of the dining area. Candles warmed the small room. Bastian helped me out of my winter coat to hand it over to the host, who nodded at the both of us.
“We already have your order in, Mr. Burke,” he said. “Enjoy your dinner.”
I tucked the edge of my dress skirt beneath my thighs as I sat on the edge of my chair. The crackle of fire filled the entire room pleasantly as I stared across the table at Bastian, who looked perfectly content and comfortable with his surroundings. I still couldn’t shake the whiplash of change. Apprehension bubbled inside my stomach while Bastian caught my eyes.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you out,” he said.
“Maybe,” I said hesitantly. “I’m a bit confused. You said you didn’t want anything to happen between the two of us, so—”
Bastian held up his hand to stop me. “I lied to you when I said that. I said that because I thought pushing you away would protect you from getting even more tangled up with a fucked-up man like me.”
“You’re not a fucked-up man,” I insisted, shaking my head at him. “I don’t know why you believe that so much.”
“Because it’s the truth,” he said. “You’re too good for me, Joanna. You’re certainly way too good for a man like Sid, too. You just need to realize your worth because I respect you more than anything in the world.”
Tears wetted my eyelashes when Bastian reached into his pocket to pull out a small box. He pushed it across the table in front of me. I gingerly picked up the velvet box in one hand. I held my breath as I opened it at Bastian’s encouraging nod. A small delicate butterfly on a gold chain sparkled at me in the candlelight. I took a deep and wavering breath as I looked up at Bastian in surprise.
“Consider it my apology,” he said. “For everything that has happened. I just want you to know that I do care about you more than you think.”
“Bastian,” I started, shaking my head at him. “I can’t accept something like this from you. It’s too much.”
“You deserve it,” he said. “You deserve the best, Joanna. You really do.”
I trailed a finger across the gold chain. Bastian rose from his chair to come around the table. He held out a hand wordlessly for the necklace and then gently gathered my hair away from my shoulders. A shiver went through me when his fingertips grazed my collarbone while he did the clasp of the necklace. I reached up to touch the butterfly with a smile before turning around to look up at Bastian. Reaching up, I grabbed ahold of the hand resting on my shoulder.
“You deserve the best, too,” I said. “You honestly do, Bastian. I know your ex-wife hurt you, and that’s why you do what you do, but I can tell you right now that it’s also okay for you to be fragile and strong. You can trust me because I trust you obviously more than I trust my own family.”
Bastian’s eyes hooded as he gazed down at me. Desire prickled beneath my skin as he leaned down to press his lips against mine in a searing kiss before he pulled back with a wolfish smile.
“I think we should eat fast,” he said huskily. “Skip the desert entrée for later tonight.”
I nodded while heat bubbled inside my stomach. “I agree. Skipping desert.”
Chapter 21
Bastian
The drive back to Park City was too long. That much I decided while I helped Joanna step up into the passenger seat of my truck. It gave me plenty of opportunity to enjoy the nice view of her taut ass through the sweater dress she had decided to wear over a pair of leg-hugging leggings. My mouth went dry with lust as I recalled how a few men had glanced over at Joanna when she’d passed by their tables on her way to the bathroom. They had admired those fine-ass curves like I did every time she walked by.
My ego had swelled with pride to see it, but it had comforted me to see that Joanna’s eyes were only fixed on me, not every person in the restaurant who walked by us. She only had eyes for me, and it was a first in my life.
Sierra had been more concerned about her social life than anything else. Our marriage had always been on the back burner. It was both our faults in reality for letting business and parties get in the way. It was a nice break to have someone sitting in the seat next to me with a genuine smile on her face because she enjoyed my company. She wanted to be with me, and only me.
I forced my eyes to keep focused on the icy road ahead of us. It took every inch of my concentration to keep myself aware of our wintery surroundings. Desire had steadily built in me throughout dinner while we chatted about everything and anything that came to mind. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt connected to anything solid and real. The past few years had been all about business and taking a random female to my room for a fleeting sense of pleasure.
There was something entirely different when it came to Joanna. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, but I pushed that off to the side as I punched in the gate code to let us up the driveway. Every inch of my body felt taut and coiled with lust, ready to spring at any second.
“Thank you for dinner,” Joanna said as I turned the truck engine off. She unclipped her seat belt before turning to look at me in the darkness of the truck. “I really appreciate everything you did tonight. It was nice being cherished for once.”
I pulled the keys from the ignition while I smiled at her through the darkness. “It was nice to have someone who actually cared about our dinner date. Women usually care more about who is around them, not with them.”
“That’s a shame,” Joanna murmured. “Because you’re a great date in my opinion.”
I leaned across the truck console to press my lips against Joanna’s for a kiss. I intended to pull back, to stop before anything could spark, but her fingers were framing my face in the next instant. She returned the kiss with a soft moan that sent shudders straight through my body.
I ached for her. I yearned to bury myself into that sweet heat again. It was sorely tempting to slip in between her legs now, to relieve the tension in me, but the cold blast of wind against the truck disrupted both of us.
“We better go inside,” I said, panting. “We’ll freeze to death out here if we sit here much longer.”
Joanna nodded while I retreated to my side of the truck. We hopped out to dash across the icy porch for the front door. I pushed the door open to let Joanna inside first. A blast of heat greeted us. A fire crackled in the fireplace, and I made a mental note while closing the front door to thank Marcie for remembering to keep one going.
I didn’t waste any time gathering Joanna into my arms as soon as both of us were free of our winter coats. She kissed me back just as fiercely, and our tongues tangled together. Her arms wound themselves tightly around my shoulders as she stood on her tiptoes to press every inch of her body against mine. I groaned sharply into the kiss while I allowed my hands to indulge in the soft curves of her body.
Every little touch. Every little kiss. All of it was driving me crazy. I could feel my erection pushing up against Joanna’s lower belly in desperation. It ached to be free, to find a release. Tenderness filled me, though, when I felt Joanna’s hands massage the muscles in my arms.
Tonight, I wanted her to feel pleasure. I wanted her to feel what it was supposed to be like when you were intimate with another human being who actually cared for you. I pulled myself
back to hook an arm beneath the back of her knees. She let out a startled gasp when I lifted her easily in my arms to head up the stairs in the direction of my bedroom.
Joanna giggled lightly as she trailed a hand down the back of my neck. “I didn’t peg you as a guy who swept women off their feet, literally.”
“It’s an all-new side to me,” I replied with a chuckle. “Get used to it. I’m full of surprises.”
“I look forward to these surprises of yours.”
I settled her on the edge of my bed before tending to the fireplace in my room. Stirring the bits of smoldering wood around, I added another log to keep it warm. There was nothing better than the heat from a fireplace. It also filled the room with a warm glow. I turned around to face Joanna, who was perched on the edge of the bed with a smile.
Shrugging out of my dinner jacket, I tossed it carelessly in the direction of the laundry hamper. Joanna’s eyes were dark with passion as she slipped out of her knee-high boots before coming to stand in front of me. Her lips were against mine again in a searing kiss that instantly sucked all the air out of my lungs. I deepened the kiss while we stumbled back in the direction of the bed.
I could’ve easily lost myself in the warmth of her body pressed up against mine, but tonight was about her. I could hold off for a little bit—even if it turned out to be the death of me from all my blood draining to one particular organ.
Pecking a kiss against her lips, I nibbled down the column of her neck while I gathered the hemline of her sweater dress to tug it upward. She stood in front of me in a lacy black bra that held up her perky breasts, along with a pair of hip-hugging leggings. My mouth watered at the sight of her blond hair tumbling over her shoulders. Her lips were swollen with kisses, and with each breath she took, her breasts threatened to tumble out of her bra. Which I didn’t mind at all.