by Paula Guran
My cheek burned where his lips had touched it.
He straightened up. “But I still want to go home.”
The man walked away down the darkened street, and I sat on the bench and watched him go. I felt like he had taken something from me, although I could no longer remember what. And I felt like something had been left in its place – absolution, perhaps, or innocence, although of what, or from what, I could no longer say.
An image from somewhere: a scribbled drawing of two angels in flight above a perfect city; and over the image a child’s perfect handprint, which stains the white paper blood-red. It came into my head unbidden, and I no longer know what it meant.
I stood up.
It was too dark to see the face of my watch, but I knew I would get no sleep that day. I walked back to the place I was staying, to the house by the stunted palm tree, to wash myself, and to wait. I thought about angels and about Tink; and I wondered whether love and death went hand in hand.
The next day the planes to England were flying again.
I felt strange – lack of sleep had forced me into that miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. The taxi journey to the airport was a nightmare. I was hot, and tired, and testy. I wore a T-shirt in the LA heat, my coat was packed at the bottom of my luggage, where it had been for the entire stay.
The airplane was crowded, but I didn’t care.
The stewardess walked down the aisle with a rack of newspapers: the Herald Tribune, USA Today, and the LA Times. I took a copy of the Times, but the words left my head as my eyes scanned over them. Nothing that I read remained with me. No. I lie: somewhere in the back of the paper was a report of a triple murder: two women and a small child. No names were given, and I do not know why the report should have registered as it did.
Soon I fell asleep. I dreamed about fucking Tink, while blood ran sluggishly from her closed eyes and lips. The blood was cold and viscous and clammy, and I awoke chilled by the plane’s air conditioning, with an unpleasant taste in my mouth. My tongue and lips were dry. I looked out of the scratched oval window, stared down at the clouds, and it occurred to me then (not for the first time) that the clouds were in actuality another land, where everyone knew just what they were looking for and how to get back where they started from.
Staring down at the clouds is one of the things I have always liked best about flying. That, and the proximity one feels to one’s death.
I wrapped myself in the thin aircraft blanket and slept some more, but if further dreams came then they made no impression upon me.
A blizzard blew up shortly after the plane landed in England, knocking out the airport’s power supply. I was alone in an airport elevator at the time, and it went dark and jammed between floors. A dim emergency light flickered on. I pressed the crimson alarm button until the batteries ran down and it ceased to sound; then I shivered in my LA T-shirt in the corner of my little silver room. I watched my breath steam in the air, and I hugged myself for warmth.
There wasn’t anything in there except me; but even so, I felt safe and secure. Soon someone would come and force open the doors. Eventually somebody would let me out; and I knew that I would soon be home.
About the Authors
Peter Atkins was born in Liverpool, England, and now lives in Los Angeles. He is the author of the novels Morningstar, Big Thunder and Moontown and the screenplays Hellraiser II, Hellraiser III, Hellraiser IV, Wishmaster and Prisoners of the Sun. His short fiction has appeared in such anthologies as The Museum of Horrors, Dark Delicacies II and Hellbound Hearts, and periodocals including Weird Tales, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Postscripts and Cemetery Dance. A collection of his short fiction, Rumours of the Marvellous, was shortlisted for the British Fantasy Society Award. He blogs at: peteratkins.blogspot.com.
Peter M. Ball’s first published SF story appeared in Dreaming Again in 2007, and since then his short fiction has appeared in publications such as Fantasy, Strange Horizons, Apex Magazine, Interfictions II, Shimmer and Years Best SF 15. His faerie-noir novella, Horn, was published in 2009 by Twelfth Planet Press, followed by Bleed in 2010. He lives in Brisbane, Australia, and can be found online at www.petermball.com and on twitter @ petermball.
Nathan Ballingrud won the Shirley Jackson Award for “The Monsters of Heaven”. He’s published fiction in Naked City: Tales of Urban Fantasy, Lovecraft Unbound, Teeth: Vampire Tales and Inferno: New Tales of Terror, among other venues, and has been reprinted in Year’s Best anthologies several times. His first book, North American Lake Monsters: Stories, is due from Small Beer Press in 2013.
Clive Barker is a novelist, playwright, screenwriter, artist, director and producer. Following the publication of his earliest short stories as The Books of Blood in 1984, Barker went on to write numerous bestselling novels, including The Great and Secret Show, Weaveworld, Imajica, The Thief of Always, Everville, Sacrament, Galilee and Coldheart Canyon. The first book of a children’s series, Abarat, was published in 2002 to critical acclaim, as were Abarat: Days of Magic, Nights of War (2004) and Abarat: Absolute Midnight (2011). He is currently working on the fourth of five volumes for the series. As a screenwriter, director and film producer, he is credited with the Hellraiser and Candyman franchises, as well as Nightbreed, Lord of Illusions, Gods and Monsters, The Midnight Meat Train, Book of Blood and Dread. An accomplished painter and visual artist, Barker has had exhibitions in New York and Los Angeles.
Thanks to classic works such as The Last Unicorn, Tamsin and The Innkeeper’s Song, Peter S. Beagle is acknowledged as one of America’s greatest fantasy authors. In addition to stories and novels, he has written numerous teleplays and screenplays, including the animated versions of The Lord of the Rings and The Last Unicorn, plus the “Sarek” episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. He is also a poet, lyricist and singer/songwriter. In 2007, Beagle won the Hugo and Nebula Awards for his original novelette, “Two Hearts”. For more details on Peter’s career and upcoming titles, see http://www.conlanpress.com and www.facebook.com/petersbeagle.
Pat Cadigan is the author of numerous acclaimed short stories and five novels. Her first novel, Mindplayers, was nominated for the Philip K. Dick Memorial Award, and her second and third novels – Synners and Fools – both won the Arthur C. Clarke
Award. Her collection, Patterns, was honoured with the Locus Award. Cadigan’s work has also been nominated for both the Hugo and Nebula awards. The author lived in Kansas City for many years, but has resided in London, England since 1996.
Sam Cameron is the author of a young adult mystery series set in the Florida Keys that includes Mystery of the Tempest, a finalist for ForeWord Book of the Year. Other books in that series include The Secret of Othello and The Missing Juliet. Her work has appeared in several anthologies for GLBTQ audiences, including Speaking Out, The Boys of Summer and Women of the Dark Streets. Visit her at fisherkey.wordpress.com.
A born and bred New Yorker, Suzy McKee Charnas served in the Peace Corps as a teacher in Nigeria, taught high school, and wrote curriculum for a drug abuse treatment program. She married in 1969, and she and her husband went to live in New Mexico where she began writing science fiction and fantasy full time. Her books and stories have won her various awards over the years, and a play made from her best-known novel, The Vampire Tapestry, has been staged on both coasts. She lectures and teaches about fantasy, SF and fiction-writing whenever she gets a chance to. Her website is www.suzymckeecharnas.com.
Neil Gaiman is the New York Times bestselling author of novels Neverwhere, Stardust, American Gods, Coraline, Anansi Boys, The Graveyard Book and (with Terry Pratchett) Good Omens; the Sandman series of graphic novels; and the story collections Smoke and Mirrors and Fragile Things. He has won numerous literary awards including the Hugo, the Nebula, the World Fantasy, and the Stoker Awards, as well as the Newbery medal.
Tanya Huff lives in rural Ontario and loves coun
try life. A prolific author, her work includes many short stories, five fantasy series and a science fiction series. One of these, her Blood Books series, featuring detective Vicki Nelson, was adapted for television under the title Blood Ties (writing the ninth episode allowed her to finally use her degree in Radio and Television Arts). Her most recent novel is The Wild Ways. When not writing, she practises her guitar and spends too much time online. Her blog is: andpuff.livejournal.com.
Caitlín R. Kiernan is the author of several novels, including the award-winning Threshold, Daughter of Hounds, The Red Tree, The Drowning Girl and, most recently (writing as Kathleen Tierney), Blood Oranges. Her short fiction has been collected in Tales of Pain and Wonder; From Weird and Distant Shores; To Charles Fort, with Love; Alabaster; A is for Alien; and The Ammonite Violin & Others. Her erotica has been collected in two volumes, Frog Toes and Tentacles and Tales from the Woeful Platypus. Subterranean Press published a retrospective of her early writing, Two Worlds and In Between: The Best of Caitlín R. Kiernan (Volume One) in 2011 and collection Confessions of a Five-Chambered Heart in 2012. She lives in Providence, Rhode Island with her partner, Kathryn.
Jay Lake lives in Portland, Oregon, where he works on numerous writing and editing projects. His most recent books in traditional print are Kalimpura from Tor Books, and Love In the Time of Metal and Flesh from Prime Books. His short fiction appears regularly in literary and genre markets worldwide. Jay is a winner of the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and a multiple nominee for the Hugo and World Fantasy Awards. Jay can be reached via his website at www.jlake.com or www.twitter.com/jay_lake.
Tanith Lee has written and published 78 novels, 13 collections and around 300 short stories, ranging through SF, Fantasy, Horror, YA, Contemporary, plus Gay/Lesbian and Detective fiction. She has also won, or been short-listed for, many awards. In 2009, she was made a Grand Master of Horror. She lives on the Sussex Weald close to the sea, with her husband, writer/artist John Kaiine, and under the iron paw of two tuxedo cats.
Charles de Lint is a full-time writer and musician who presently makes his home in Ottawa, Canada, with his wife MaryAnn Harris. His most recent books are Under My Skin (Razorbill Canada, 2012; Amazon.com for the rest of the world) and Eyes Like Leaves (Tachyon Press, 2012). His first album Old Blue Truck came out in early 2011. For more information about his work, visit his website at www.charlesdelint.com. He’s also on Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.
Now a #1 New York Times bestselling author, George R. R. Martin sold his first story in 1971 and has been writing professionally ever since. He spent ten years in Hollywood as a writer-producer, working on The Twilight Zone, Beauty and the Beast and various feature films and television pilots that were never made. Martin also edited the Wild Cards series, fifteen novels written by teams of authors. In the mid-1990s he returned to prose, and began work on his epic fantasy series, A Song of Ice and Fire. In April 2011, HBO premiered its adaptation of the first of that series, A Game of Thrones, and he was named as one of Time’s most influential people of the year. A Dance With Dragons, the fifth A Song of Ice and Fire book, was published in 2011. He lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, with his wife Parris.
Sarah Monette grew up in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, one of the three secret cities of the Manhattan Project, and now lives in a 106-year-old house in the Upper Midwest with a great many books, two cats, one grand piano and one husband. Her PhD diploma (English Literature, 2004) hangs in the kitchen. She has published six novels and more than forty short stories (some of each in collaboration with Elizabeth Bear). Some of her Kyle Murchison Booth stories have been collected in The Bone Key; some of other short fiction in Somewhere Beneath Those Waves. Her next novel, The Goblin Emperor, will come out from Tor under the pen name Katherine Addison. Visit her online at www.sarahmonette.com.
Joyce Carol Oates published her first book in 1963 and has since published over fifty novels, as well as many volumes of short stories, poetry and non-fiction. Her novel them (1969) won the National Book Award, and her novels Black Water (1992), What I Lived For (1994), and Blonde (2000) were nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. Oates is the Roger S. Berlind ’52 Professor in the Humanities with the Program in Creative Writing at Princeton University, where she has taught since 1978. Among her many honours are the PEN Center USA Award for Lifetime Achievement, Mailer Prize for Lifetime Achievement, Howard T. Behrman Award for Distinguished Achievement in the Humanities, National Book Critics Circle Ivan Sandrof Lifetime Achievement Award, F. Scott Fitzgerald Award for Lifetime Achievement in American Literature, and Bram Stoker Award for Life Achievement.
Richard Parks’s fiction has appeared in such diverse places as Asimov’s Science Fiction, Realms of Fantasy, Lady Churchill’s Rosebud Wristlet, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Weird Tales and numerous anthologies, including Year’s Best Fantasy and Fantasy: The Best of the Year. He’s been a finalist for both the World Fantasy Award and the Mythopoeic Award. His second novel, To Break the Demon Gate, is due out from PS Publishing in 2013. A collection of his Lord Yamada stories, Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter, is also slated for publication in 2013 by Prime Books. You can find his blog at www.richardparks.com.
Norman Partridge’s fiction includes horror, suspense and the fantastic – “sometimes all in one story” according to Joe Lansdale. Partridge’s novel Dark Harvest was chosen by Publishers Weekly as one of the best one hundred books of 2006, and two short-story collections were published in 2010 – Lesser Demons from Subterranean Press and Johnny Halloween from Cemetery Dance. Other work includes the Jack Baddalach mysteries Saguaro Riptide and The Ten-Ounce Siesta, plus The Crow: Wicked Prayer, which was adapted for film. His work has received multiple Bram Stoker awards. He can be found on the web at NormanPartridge.com and americanfrankenstein.blogspot.com.
Kristine Kathryn Rusch has written a lot of bestselling, award-winning fiction under a variety of names, including Kristine Grayson, Kris DeLake, Kris Nelscott and, of course, her own name. She’s the former editor of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction. Her entire thirty-year backlist is slowly returning to print, courtesy of WMG Publishing. For more information on her work, go to www.kristinekathrynrusch.com.
Lucius Shepard’s short fiction has won the Nebula Award, the Hugo Award, International Horror Guild Award, National Magazine Award, Locus Award, Theodore Sturgeon Award and the World Fantasy Award. His most recent book is a short fiction collection, The Dragon Griaule. Forthcoming are two novels, tentatively titled The Piercefields and, for young adults, The End of Life As We Know It.
John Shirley is the author of more than thirty novels. The latest is Everything is Broken. His numerous short stories have been compiled into eight collections including Black Butterflies: A Flock on the Darkside, winner of the Bram Stoker Award, International Horror Guild Award, and named as one of the best one hundred books of the year by Publishers Weekly and, most recently, In Extremis: The Most Extreme Short Stories of John Shirley. He has written scripts for television and film, and is best known as co-writer of The Crow. As a musician, Shirley has fronted several bands over the years and written lyrics for Blue Öyster Cult and others. To learn more about John Shirley and his work, visit john-shirley.com.
Stellan Thorne is a transatlantic queer geek. He writes speculative fiction from his perch in Manchester, where he lives with his husband and two cats.
Genevieve Valentine’s first novel, Mechanique: A Tale of the Circus Tresaulti, won the 2012 Crawford Award and was nominated for the Nebula. Her short fiction has appeared in Clarkesworld, Strange Horizons, Journal of Mythic Arts, Fantasy Magazine, Lightspeed, Apex and others, and the anthologies Federations, The Living Dead 2, The Way of the Wizard, Running with the Pack, Teeth and more. Her story “Light on the Water” was a 2009 World Fantasy Award nominee, and “Things to Know About Being Dead” was a 2012 Shirley Jackson Award nominee. Her non-fiction and reviews have been published by NPR.org, Strange Horizons, Lightspeed, Weird Tales, Tor.com and Fantasy. Valentine is a co-author of Geek Wisdom
(Quirk Books). Her appetite for bad movies is insatiable, a tragedy she tracks at glvalentine.livejournal.com.
Over the span of her fifty-year career, Kate Wilhelm’s writing has spanned the genres of mystery, science fiction, speculative fiction, fantasy and magical realism; psychological suspense, mimetic, comic, and family sagas, a multimedia stage production, and radio plays. Her works have been adapted for television and movies in the United States, England and Germany. Wilhelm’s novels and stories have been translated to more than a dozen languages. She has contributed to Quark, Orbit, The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, Locus, Amazing Stories, Asimov’s Science Fiction, Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Fantastic, Omni, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, Redbook and Cosmopolitan. Wilhelm and her husband, Damon Knight (1922–2002), also provided invaluable assistance to numerous other writers over the years as teachers and lecturers. Kate Wilhelm currently lives in Eugene, Oregon. In her spare time she likes to garden.
Gene Wolfe worked as an engineer before becoming editor of trade journal Plant Engineering. He retired to write full time in 1984. Long considered to be a premier fantasy author, he is the recipient of the World Fantasy Lifetime Achievement Award, as well as Nebula, World Fantasy, Campbell, Locus, British Fantasy and British SF Awards. Wolfe has been inducted into the Science Fiction Hall of Fame. His short fiction has been collected over a dozen times, most recently in The Best of Gene Wolfe (2009). His latest novel is Peace. Both are from Tor.