Chapter Eleven
Good sex, as it turned out, made for good performances. I unzipped the garment bag containing the dress for the night’s show. Shay was on first tonight and I could hear the crowd’s excitement as he whipped them into a frenzy with his hard-driving beats and high energy set.
He was the same off stage—hard driving and high energy. I smiled to myself. The last few days had been amazing. Shay and I would play a show, take care of whatever promotional obligations we had like meeting fans, signing autographs, visiting radio stations or blogging on our tour’s newly established blog account. And then we’d run away and hide in my bus or his until morning. Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Asheville, Roanoke—they were all a blur. My focus was on Shay and spending as much time with him as possible before the timestamp on our relationship expired. Nashville, we’d said. We’d indulge this thing between us until Nashville. Every day our busses pressed onward, hurdling us closer to home.
I was sure people had noticed that we were basically sharing a bus. Obviously the drivers did, but I was sure others did, too. I slept a little later, smiled a little more, put on a little more concealer to cover up those dark circles caused by lack of sleep and abundance of other nighttime activities.
I frowned at the knee-length dress I was to wear that night. I’d never given much thought to the costumes or what they said about my image, other than making sure they fit properly. I had a stylist and a set-designer that picked out and coordinated everything according to how my look fit in with the stage persona we wanted to project. All I had to do was make sure I laid off the bagels on tour so I fit into the costumes. Since this tour was just a few dates and there were no costume changes during the set, we had just altered some of my older costumes instead of creating new ones.
I held up the glitzy cowgirl dress in front of me and frowned into the mirror. For the first time, I realized I didn’t actually like the costumes I’d worn on stage for years. They weren’t really me, not anymore. They were cute, made for a woman who was two parts girl, one part young woman. But I wasn’t some college-aged co-ed anymore. Maybe I’d have a talk with Daddy about the clothes once this tour was over. I was sure we could come up with something a little less cutesy that would still fit the “Michelle” image.
But not tonight. I dressed and waited for the make-up and hair people to arrive to get me stage-ready. I smiled, thinking of the sexy song Shay and I would be performing that night. It was a reboot of one of his party songs, but we planned to slow it down and really play up the double entendres on stage. Shay had told me his idea that morning and had even grabbed his guitar to show me how he thought it should go. He hadn’t bothered putting on his pants first. Maybe that’s why I’d liked it so much.
We hadn’t rehearsed the whole thing, though. Shay said he thought doing it off the cuff gave it a lot more energy. Although I was reluctant at first, I had to admit he was right. There was a lot to be said for spontaneity. This one part of the show was unscripted and it was fun not knowing quite what was going to happen. Not that I’d want everything in my life to be that way—a few nights of amazing sex hadn’t morphed me into a free-spirited hipster girl. But this one little bit of crazy did feel good.
There was a knock at the door, but when I called out for the hair and make-up people to come on in, I discovered it was Daddy, instead.
“Is everything alright all right ?” Daddy rarely visited me on my bus before a show.
“Sit down, Michelle. We need to talk.”
I settled on the couch in the lounge area while Daddy took a seat across from me in one of the matching chairs. I wondered who had died.
“I know that you and Shay have something going on.”
“Of course. You’re the one who engineered it.” I felt my cheeks burn and couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
“I never engineered this,” he said, and I knew he was as embarrassed as I was. It was obvious he knew Shay and I were collaborating off stage as well as on.
Fathers and daughters were not meant to have discussions about sex, but when your father was also your manager and in charge of your public persona, well, it got sticky. I wasn’t close to Mom, who was on her third husband and currently living in Hawaii, but I had the sudden urge to call her to talk boys. Or stick needles in my eyes—either would have been less painful and required less recovery time than this conversation.
“Well, things just sort of happened…” Why I felt like I needed to explain, I don’t know. I was a grown woman. It wasn’t like I was 16 and sneaking out the bedroom window to go parking with a boy from the wrong side of town.
He held up a hand. “I don’t want to know,” he said. “I guess a fling was inevitable given your history with this boy. The good thing is that the public is eating it up, just like Rayna said they would. I guess there are more people out there who love a good romance than I imagined, even if it’s fake. But that boy’s hound dog. By the time we’re back in Tennessee, he’ll be barking up another tree.”
A fling. That’s exactly what this was. So why did Daddy’s words bother me so much? I squirmed in my seat, frowning a little, thinking about leaving this all behind. But Daddy was right. This was a short-term deal. Engineered for promotional purposes and even if it had gotten a little more complicated than any of us had anticipated, it was still a relationship with an expiration date.
My phone beeped and I instantly checked the new text message that had come through.
Thinking about you, beautiful. Meet you at center stage in a bit. Miss you ;)
It must be the short break time during Shay’s set when he grabbed some water and let his lead guitarist do a little solo number. I smiled to myself, thinking of him sweaty and wet and in his element. He was in the middle of a live performance still thinking about me. About us. It was reassuring to know I wasn’t the only one becoming obsessed.
I texted back. It’s a date.
When I looked up, Daddy was eyeing me. “That him?”
“Yes.” I put the phone down. “He just wanted to let me know the show was going well.”
“Right.” He shoved a hand through his graying hair. “Look Michelle, you’re not a kid anymore. I get that. I just want you to be careful. Don’t get too close. Shay Rogan is quicksand and he will swallow up everything you’ve worked for all your life in a heartbeat.”
“What?” That made me angry. “Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it almost happened before. We got lucky your fans chalked it up to youthful indiscretion and let it go.”
“I’m allowed to have a love life. Lots of performers have boyfriends.”
“It that what this is, then? Is Shay your boyfriend?”
“No. I don’t know.”
Daddy nodded. “Glad you guys have sorted all that out.”
“I’m new at this.”
“I know you didn’t have much time for normal girl stuff like dating and the prom and boys. I know that can’t have always been easy. I just don’t want you to throw everything away now, trying to make up for what you missed.”
It was the first time I could ever remember Daddy acknowledging that I’d missed out on anything. Usually he was reminding me about how lucky I was to have achieved so much at such a young age.
“I’m thankful for all you did for me. All you gave up.”
“I got to spend time with you. Watch you turn into the woman you are now. It wasn’t a sacrifice. If I’d stayed with the firm instead of touring with you, how much time do you think we’d have spent together?”
“Not much.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. We’d never really talked about this stuff before. For a very long time our relationship had been about business. “Still, there must be other things you wanted to do with your life besides managing mine.”
“I’m realizing that more every day,” he said, but didn’t elaborate. “But I don’t regret a thing. Not one day we’ve spent on the road or in rehearsals or fighting to get to the top.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
He squeezed my hand. “I love you, baby girl. From the first moment I laid eyes on you, all pink and screaming your head off.” He walked to the fridge and pulled out a water.
“I wasn’t going to tell you this, since it seems like the tour has turned a corner. I didn’t want to put the pressure on you. But now, with that boy in the picture and how close you’ve gotten…”
“What?” a sense of dread chased all the warm fuzzies away.
“I did a little poking around, pulled in a few favors and found out what Robert is up to.”
“Oh?” My heart was pounding and I wasn’t sure I wanted the next sentence to come out of his mouth.
Daddy opened his water and sat back down. “He’s only renewing one contract because he wants to make room for some young up-and-comers. This whole thing is one big audition and he’s going to make his decision once he sees how it all shakes out. You and Shay Rogan have been competing against one another without even knowing it.”
I was a lump of raw emotion that had no shape or form as I considered the possible outcomes. For years my biggest fear had been losing my contract. I was comfortable at the label, I knew what to expect. People knew me there and respected what I’d brought to the company. I didn’t want to have to start over shopping myself around town again.
A new label meant building all over again. It meant changing, possibly being forced in a direction with my music I didn’t want to go. Or God forbid, being put out to pasture while the label tried to squeeze the last few pennies out of my career by releasing one “Greatest Hits” album after another. Sure, I’d been thinking about shaking things up a little. But fantasizing about it and actually doing it were two different things.
Of course, I didn’t have to deal with a label at all. I could just retire. And do what? Music was all I knew. That avenue was scary, too. I had no other hobbies, no other talents, no other friends than in the music industry. I’d grown up here. These were my people. Was I just going to take up knitting or something for the next 50 years?
On the flip side, it broke my heart to think about Shay losing his contract. Nashville was town where everybody knew everybody in the business and he’d burned a lot of bridges on his way up through the ranks. His unreliability when it came to following through on his obligations and all the negative press surrounding bar fights and shady women had been barely tolerated when he was selling massive numbers of albums. Without a contract that led to a new hit album, he would be lucky to get gigs playing county fairs and municipal theaters. In five years he’d be a footnote, an obscure trivia answer in the Sunday Tennesseean.
“Bastard,” I said. “I can’t believe Robert would engineer something like this.”
“It’s all about money, sweetie. It’s business, not personal.”
“It feels personal. Shay is going to be pissed.”
“I know.” Daddy was silent for a moment. “I know you don’t want to hear this, Michelle, but I don’t think you should tell Shay.”
“He has a right to know. Keeping it from him wouldn’t be fair.”
“Nothing’s fair in life, Michelle. You know that.”
I did. From the first time I’d entered a talent contest I’d known the world wasn’t fair. It was wasn’t always a place where the most talented performer on the stage got the big check. Sometimes the sponsor’s kid got the trophy and all you could do was smile and pretend it didn’t suck.
“Rogan’s a loose cannon. He might take off and leave the tour if he finds out about Robert’s plan. As much as I hate to admit it, Rogan has pushed the live show to the next level and people are responding. If you want to be the one walking away with a contract when we pull into Nashville, we need him.”
I bit at my lip. “It doesn’t feel right to keep this from him. It’s his career, too.”
“That’s why I decided to tell you. I don’t want you to get too close to him only to have this get in the middle muddying things up. You need to focus on your career, on getting the contract, if Belle Records is where you want to be. Have fun. But don’t get too attached.”
He had a point. “Can’t you talk to Robert? Tell him that this only works with the two of us together?”
“I can try,” Daddy said. “ But Robert’s a guy who always has an eye on the dollars and cents. You’d better make these last few shows bigger and better than ever. Show him why you’re a star. Make Nashville sit up and take notice that Michelle Waters is back and is the next big thing all over again. Then you might be able to help Shay, if you really want to.”
I nodded. “I understand.”
*****
Shay didn’t know what had gotten into Michelle when she took the stage. She looked like a star with the lights catching the sparkles in her costume and the golden highlights in her hair, but then she always looked great. Tonight, though, she was less tentative, waving at the cheering crowd when she had bounced out to meet him center stage for their duet and planted a big kiss right on his lips. He, of course, hadn’t minded a bit, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her like a few thousand of their closest friends weren’t watching and cheering and snapping cell phone pictures.
Shay hoped it meant that Michelle was as into Shay as he was into her. It was getting ridiculous. He felt like a middle school kid crushing on the cute girl in the front row of math class. All he thought about was Michelle. Her body, her voice, the way she rolled her eyes when he flirted with her. The way she flushed when she climaxed and how soft and warm she looked when she woke up all sleep-mussed in the morning—he loved it all.
Tonight they’d done one of his songs, a party song, not at all her usual style, but she’d knocked it out of the park. As he knew it would, his voice blended perfectly with hers and now that they’d learned each other’s quirks on stage, it had been as seamless as if they’d rehearsed it for weeks. They were good together. Really good.
Now as Shay watched her closing out her set from the wings of the stage, Shay couldn’t help but be awed by her. The hot little looks she tossed at him practically set his fly on fire. The way she hit those deep notes than let her voice soar a full octave higher sent shivers through his body. In a million years, he’d never thought he would be touring with someone like Michelle Waters, let alone getting to know her on a much more personal front. He was a lucky bastard. He just didn’t know how much longer his luck was going to hold out.
He could hardly wait until she was done, though, because he’d planned a very special night for them. He’d woken up early that morning looking at the way sunlight caressed Michelle’s perfect skin, the way her blond hair spread out over the pillows of his bed, the way she opened her big blue eyes and smiled at him as if she’d just woken from a perfect dream and wasn’t disappointed even a little to find Shay staring back at her. He wanted her to know that this was more than a hook-up for him. That he cared about her. They only had a few more dates left before the tour’s end in Nashville and he…just wanted her to know all of that so when they parted ways maybe he wouldn’t regret it so much.
He tore himself away from the stage and headed back to his dressing room for a quick shower. He still had a few final preparations and wanted the night to be perfect.
Chapter Twelve
I was a little surprised when Shay didn’t meet me as I came off stage. I’d felt his eyes on me the whole time and my libido had boiled at a low simmer as a result. Thinking about him watching me and wanting me was a heady aphrodisiac. Thinking about what we’d do when we were finally alone and all our professional obligations for the day had been fulfilled made me downright giddy.
Evidently he’d made his excuses to Rayna and the promoter and cut out before the meet-and-greet. I’d had to do it solo but the contingent of hand-selected fans and contest winners waiting backstage really didn’t seem too disappointed that they were just getting me and not Shay, too. It felt odd not to have his hand at my back, feel the warmth of his touch, his occasional whisper in my ear during the e
vent.
I wondered what the heck he was doing. He had been so well-behaved the last few days, I really, really wanted to believe that he’d reformed his bad boy ways and hadn’t ditched his responsibilities. It looked like I’d been wrong and instead of being mad, I was just disappointed. Career-wise, Shay was his own worst enemy. He just couldn’t keep it together. He wasn’t dependable.
I kept looking at the clock, waiting for the fan event to be over, though I tried my best to smile and greet my fans and act like there was nowhere else on Earth I wanted to be. I really wanted to text Shay and find out what the hell was going on, but my phone was back on the bus.
Finally Rayna whispered in my ear that it was time to go and then made the announcement that I had another engagement to attend and had to leave.
I rushed back towards my bus, intending to grab my phone and get hold of Shay, but as soon as I got on the bus, I saw Shay sitting in the driver’s seat.
“What are you doing? Where were you after the show?”
“Kidnapping you. And I had some things to make your abduction come off perfect. Get in.”
I climbed aboard and shut the door as Shay flipped on the headlights.
“Do you know how to drive this thing?”
“Absolutely. I got a crash course from Benny.”
“Where is Benny?”
“Taking the night off. He’ll meet us tomorrow morning when it’s time to head out.”
Shay put the bus in gear and slowly pulled forward.
“You are going to be in so much trouble,” I said laughing.
“Yep.” He didn’t seem concerned and neither was I. He dutifully checked the mirrors before pulling out of the parking lot. So far, so good.
“Can I ask where we’re going?”
“No. You’re the kidnappee.” Somehow I didn’t mind all that much.
“Why don’t you go in the back, relax. There’s a late supper for you in the fridge.”
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