“God damn you, woman! That’s my baby.”
His attention was suddenly caught by the pram which was gathering speed as it continued to run down the steeply cobbled street. He had no time to stop and raced at breakneck speed to catch the pram. Pain began to seize his chest and his legs felt like pulp. He heard himself shouting as he raced after the pram.
“Evie, Evie, I’m coming! Papa’s coming!”
His lungs felt as if they were about to burst. He was at the end of his endurance. With a final sprint he almost caught the pram but his hand just failed to make contact. In desperation, he dived at the pram, jamming his fingers into the wheels. He screamed with pain as the spokes cut into his fingers and bent them against the pram’s chassis. The pram ground to a halt and toppled onto its side throwing Evie onto the cobbles. With one hand still caught in the pram’s wheel, he managed to pull himself round and grab her. She was yelling but seemed unhurt. Jed buried his face in her warm blanket, inhaling the sweetness of her smell.
“Evie, my baby! Thank God, you’re safe! I love you so much.”
Then there was the sound of shouting from the top of the street. People were running down the road towards him. Alice arrived first, grabbing Evie from Jed’s arms and smothering her in tears. The local policeman was there and Jack arrived minutes later, wheezing heavily and clutching at his chest.
“I’m sorry, so sorry,” he kept repeating. Then he put his arms around Alice and Evie and they held each other in that locked embrace for what seemed an eternity to Jed as he looked on, with his hand still mangled in the pram wheels.
Jed went to the gala dinner by himself that night with a heavily bandaged hand. Fortunately, his fingers weren’t broken, just severely bruised. He was sad that Alice wasn’t there to hear the mayor congratulate Carters on their craftsmanship and professionalism. He wished Alice could have seen the show put on by locals and heard the rafters ringing with applause. He wished she had heard the conversation with the chief engineer who confided that there were other major building projects on the council’s agenda which he felt sure would be of interest to Carters. He was bursting with pride. The seemingly impossible had happened. And yet he felt suddenly miserable. He was jealous – jealous of Alice, Jack and Evie back home together. He had believed at times today that Evie was his own child, yet each time this happened he was quickly reminded that it was a lie – a lie on which the success of his business was now built and one that he would have to keep on living perhaps for the rest of his life.
The Guest Who Stayed: Chapter 17 – Christmas 1927
The sitting room looked magical. A tree stood in one corner decorated with real candles. As this was Christmas Eve, Alice had allowed the candles to be lit for the first time. The room was hung with holly and mistletoe. In another corner was a nativity scene which Jed had painstakingly cut out and painted for Evie. Mary sat on a straw bale holding baby Jesus whilst a bearded and two dimensional Joseph looked on, his hands clasped in humility. A donkey and a sheep completed the tableau. Jed hadn’t had time to make the shepherds. Outside a fierce wind whipped flurries of snow around Hope Cottage but inside the roaring log fire made the house seem warm and friendly.
Evie had finished her tea and was bouncing around excitedly on Jack’s knees. He was pretending to let her fall back but catching her just in time, accompanied by peals of laughter.
“Careful, Evie. Mind you don’t bang your head on the floor when you do that,” warned Jed from his chair on the opposite side of the room.
“Don’t be silly, Daddy. Uncle Jack’s strong. He won’t let me fall. You’re always being silly.”
“She’s alright, Jed,” snapped Alice. “Just let her be.”
It was increasingly like this. Evie saw Jack as the kind uncle, fun to be with, seldom cross, always ready with a game. Jed, however, had been designated the role of disciplinarian. Alice was always telling him to “stop Evie doing this,” or “warn her about doing that.” As a consequence, Evie increasingly argued with Jed, encouraged sometimes by Alice. It hurt Jed. He loved Evie but he wanted to bring her up properly. Already she was showing signs of becoming precocious.
Jack was suddenly convulsed with a coughing fit and Alice pulled Evie from his lap.
“Now, go and see your daddy. Tell him it’s time to take you to bed. If you’re good he’ll read you a story.”
“I don’t want him to read a story. I want Uncle Jack to read a story. Daddy can’t read properly.”
Jed felt humiliated. He knew it was true. He had always been a slow reader and he struggled with long words.
“Evie, go upstairs with your daddy or Santa Claus won’t come tomorrow morning,” warned Alice as she tried to help Jack, who was still choking.
“Come on, Evie, let’s go upstairs then,” said Jed, getting up from his chair and lifting Evie from the floor.
“No, no. Let me go! Let me go!” shouted Evie, kicking and screaming. It was like this most nights. Jed would try to read her a story but she would refuse to listen, screaming and hitting out at him. Eventually, Jack would go upstairs to see her and Evie would dissolve into fits of giggles before slipping into sleep. It hurt Jed dreadfully that he couldn’t bond with Evie in the same way as Jack and matters were made worse by the fact that Alice seemed almost to condone her behaviour towards him.
The next morning Evie was up early, keen to ensure that Santa had left the promised presents under the tree. Alice brought her downstairs and together they admired the pile of gifts wrapped in coloured paper and tied with bows. In spite of Evie’s impatience, she was made to wait until after breakfast before beginning to attack the pile. There were numerous small presents and two larger ones which Alice insisted must be left until last. After an assortment of crayons, chocolates, cuddly toys and jigsaws had been unwrapped, Evie could contain herself no longer and selected the bigger of the two boxes to open next. Alice helped her remove the wrapping paper to reveal a beautifully detailed dolls’ house – a replica of Hope Cottage. Jed had spent many months building the dolls’ house in his workshop and had been longing for the day that Evie would be allowed to play with it.
“See here, Evie,” he said as he got down onto his knees, “see how the front opens up.”
He undid a catch and opened up the front wall of the house to reveal a fully furnished interior, complete with miniature dolls representing Alice, Jack, Jed and Evie.
“And see just here, Evie. Put your hand on this switch.”
He guided her hand to a small switch at the back of the house and flicked it down. Immediately, the whole house was lit by small electric light bulbs.
“That’s wonderful, Jed. You must have spent so much time on that,” said Alice.
“True craftsmanship that,” added Jack. “It’ll be worth a fortune one day.”
“Mummy, can I open the next one now?” demanded Evie.
“Don’t you want to play with this first?” suggested Jed, rearranging the little people in the parlour so that they were all sitting around the table.
“No, I want to open that one,” cried Evie, pointing to the remaining gift.
“Don’t spoil her fun, Jed, it is Christmas Day,” said Alice, pulling the parcel from under the tree.
“It says ‘To our darling Evie, from Mummy and Uncle Jack’. Shall we see what’s inside?”
Alice helped Evie tear the paper off to reveal a miniature baby carriage, a replica of the pram that Alice had used for Evie. Inside was a baby rag doll. Evie grabbed the doll and held her tightly.
“My baby. Evie’s baby.”
For the rest of Christmas Day, Evie couldn’t be parted from the rag doll and the pram. Jed watched disconsolately as the dolls’ house remained untouched. By the end of the day its doors had been closed and it was put out of reach like an exhibit in a museum and a constant reminder to Jed of the chasm which separated him from Evie.
New Years day was bitterly cold. Jed had no work on but still rose early to light a fire in the parlour for Evie w
hen she got up. She appeared at seven thirty, clutching her rag doll and demanding warm milk from Jed. He complied without a murmur, having learnt it was best to reserve his lessons in behaviour for more serious issues. As there was no sign of Alice and Jack, he got Evie her breakfast and then cooked himself some scrambled egg on toast. Evie sang happily, a burbling concoction of different rhymes that had become muddled in her head.
“Three blind mice. They all fell off the wall. Cut off their tail with a kitchen knife. Three blind mice.”
Jed loved to watch her. She would play for hours engrossed in some game that only she could understand. He was amazed at her capacity to be self sufficient, only calling for help when she was hungry or stuck.
By ten o’clock, Alice and Jack had still not appeared. Jed began to get a little concerned. It was unusual for Alice not to be up and supervising Evie and Jack would normally be preparing Alice’s breakfast. He thought of calling upstairs but there was still an unspoken rule that they didn’t get involved in each other’s private affairs.
Just after ten thirty Jack appeared, still in his dressing gown. Evie rushed up to him, begging to be picked up and swung around. But, unusually for Jack, he refused.
“Sorry, Evie darling. I must speak to your daddy. Go and put your dolly in the pram and take her for a walk.”
Mistaking this for the beginning of a new game, Evie rushed off to find the pram.
“What’s the matter, Jack – something wrong?” Jack paused.
“There’s a bit of a problem, Jed. It’s Alice – a bit personal. She’s found a lump.”
“What do you mean? What sort of lump?”
“She’s worried it’s the same thing her mother had. She was only five then but remembers whispered conversations about a lump.”
“Where is this lump?”
“In her breast.”
Jed was stunned. Breast cancer was one of those illnesses that people didn’t talk about. He knew of women, usually older women, who had taken to their beds with the disease and not recovered. He knew very little about it other than it struck fear into those who were diagnosed with it.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to drive Alice to the hospital in Norwich. There’s no point in going to see Dr. Murray. He wouldn’t have a clue. There are specialists in Norwich. You can pay to see them privately. If necessary, we’ll go to London. I’m not going to let anything happen to her, Jed.”
Alice and Jack started out for Norwich later that morning, leaving Evie in Jed’s hands. He found it difficult to concentrate on playing with her as his mind kept dwelling on that morning’s news.
“Come on, Daddy, your turn to push the pram now. Let’s pretend I’m the mummy and we’re going to the shop. Suzie is our baby and we’re taking her in the pram.” Suzie, the rag doll, was bundled into the pram and an imaginary journey to the shops followed with Jed being frequently admonished for not being a proper daddy.
It was ten o’clock that evening before Jed heard the sound of the returning car. Evie had long since been settled into bed after a tiring and rancorous story telling session. When the front door opened, Jed was surprised to see that it was only Jack.
“Where’s Alice? What’s happened?”
Jack looked pale and older as he removed his coat and threw it over a chair.
“They’ve kept her in. They’ve got to do more tests. The news isn’t good, Jed.”
With that, Jack buried his head in his hands to stifle his anguish. Jed awkwardly placed a hand on his shoulder and waited for him to continue.
“It’s cancer, Jed, they’re sure of that.”
Jed couldn’t speak. He was breathless and weak. He sunk to into a chair and struggled to find words.
“But what about those private doctors? You said you would pay.”
“I spoke to the top man in Norwich. He said there’s little they can do. They could try operating but it’d be nasty. They seem to think these cancers may spread to other parts of the body. If it has spread, it’s only a matter of time.”
“How long?”
“It could be a matter of months.”
The following week, the diagnosis was confirmed – an aggressive form of breast cancer, The prognosis was six months, maybe as little as four months.
The house that Alice returned to was very different to the one she had left. All the Christmas decorations had been taken down and the mood was sombre. Alice seemed to be in a dream, slightly removed from reality. On the surface she was calm but underneath Jed and Jack knew that she was in anguish. It was decided to try and keep things as normal as possible for Evie. She wouldn’t understand that her mummy was going to die and it would be cruel to try and explain. Alice said that she would think of ways to leave messages for Evie to help her understand as she got older.
The first night that she returned from hospital in Norwich, Jack and Alice lay together on the bed in Alice’s room. The crying had been exhausted and they simply lay together in each other’s arms.
“It’s Evie I’m most worried about, Jack. You and Jed will have to try and find a way to make up for me not being here. It’ll be hard for a little girl without her mummy. You must help her, Jack, promise me you will.”
“Of course, I’ll help her darling. I’ll devote my life to her. I promise you that I will.”
Jack held Alice tight and wondered whether this was the time to tell her what was on his mind. He had lived longer than the London doctor had predicted. It was now seven years since he had left his former life. Perhaps it was the country air, perhaps it was being in love with Alice. Whatever it was, he had stolen another two years but he knew his condition was getting worse. The bronchitis caused regular coughing spasms and he knew that was putting a strain on his heart. He couldn’t promise Alice that he would always be there for Evie. Rather than lie to her, he had to tell her the truth.
“Jack, I’ve thought of how I’m going to stay alive in Evie’s mind. I’m going to write her a letter for each birthday until she’s twenty five. I’m going to talk to her about the things that I think will matter to her at each age – making friends at school, becoming a young woman, meeting young men – all the things that a mum would normally be there to talk about to her daughter – except I won’t be there.”
Alice sobbed violently and Jack cried too as they held each other.
“I want you to make sure she reads them on each birthday. When she’s small you’ll have to read them to her. But when she’s older, let her read them herself. Some things will be private, just between a mum and her daughter. Will you do that for me?”
It was the wrong time to tell Alice about his own death sentence so he simply whispered that he would do exactly as she asked.
It was difficult for Jed carrying on with the business whilst Alice was ill at home. He couldn’t take his mind off her illness and still hadn’t properly come to terms with the prognosis. Fortunately, he was helped now by his brother, Tom, who had changed out of all recognition since starting to work for Jed. Instead of the shy and surly youth who had left the farm when financial ruin forced his father to sell, Tom had now turned into a confident and hard working employee who was able to take much of the day to day administration from Jed’s shoulders. This left time for Jed to pursue other projects and continue to build the business.
In late January, Jed got a message from the chief engineer that he wanted to meet him at a site to the west of the town to discuss a possible development. Jed would ideally have taken Jack with him to discuss the financial issues but Jack seldom left Alice’s side at the moment.
He took the truck and followed the directions. The area he was entering contained a number of small businesses, shoe makers, wood turners, wash houses and a forge with black smoke billowing from a hole in the roof. It was the way he had come many years before when he had attempted to rescue Flora from the clutches of her parents. Then it had seemed vibrant and busy. Now it had an air of decay about it. Many buildings were deserte
d and the few people who were on the street looked dishevelled and poor. He saw a car up ahead which he recognised as belonging to the chief engineer and pulled the truck to a halt beside it.
“Good morning, Mr. Carter,” grunted the chief engineer as he came forward to greet Jed. “I bet you didn’t even know this place existed.”
“I did once know someone who lived here but that was a while ago.”
“Well, they’re all condemned, the whole lot of them. We’re going to knock them down and start all over again. There’s going to be a new centre down here. Follow me and I’ll show you.”
The chief engineer led Jed along a track that was strewn with debris and human excrement. He recognised it as the track he’d taken to Flora’s house before. It led them to the small square where the Brotherhood community had once been based. Now, the cottages were abandoned and derelict. Most had lost their thatched roofs and some had saplings sprouting up from the foundations.
“What happened to all the people?” asked Jed, his mind flooding with memories of Flora and the occasions he had argued futilely with her father.
“We’ve been evicting them slowly then knocking down the houses. They were mostly vagabonds, prostitutes, thieves – that sort of thing – vermin, not the sort of people we want in Frampton. And that’s where you come in, Mr. Carter. We want to redevelop the area and provide model housing for the working people. Simple but honest homes for people who aren’t frightened of a day’s work. They’ll be arranged in groups of four around a courtyard. Each house will have its own outside toilet and running water. Very modern. It’s a big job, probably too big for you, but I’ve respect for that business advisor of yours. What’s his name – Mallet or something? You’ve done us proud on the Maltings so I think it’s only fair you have a chance. What do you say, Mr. Carter?”
The Guest Who Stayed Page 22