The next day was a Saturday and Jed returned from work about two o’clock. He was surprised to find Peter alone in the parlour.
“Oh, Jack’s in the sitting room having a snooze and Evie’s writing some letters upstairs,” explained Peter nonchalantly.
They exchanged pleasantries for a short while – about Jed’s current building contracts and about the state of recovery after the war.
“Jed, there’s something I need to ask you.”
“What’s on your mind?” replied Jed a little uneasily.
“Well, it’s about Evie and me. Jed, I’ve asked Evie if she’ll marry me. Do you mind? Will you give us your blessing?”
There was a pause as Jed gulped at a mug of coffee and turned to face Peter.
“I saw this coming, Peter. I saw that you and Evie were getting on well. Peter, I can’t give you my blessing – not yet.”
Peter looked bewildered and crestfallen.
“Why ever not?”
“Oh, it’s nothing to do you with you. I think you’d make a good husband for Evie. She needs someone who understands her and listens to her and, of course, loves her. You score high marks there. No, it’s not about you, well, not directly that is. But there is something that I have to tell Evie – about her past – something that might change how you’re both thinking about the future.”
“I don’t understand. Surely it’s down to Evie and me. How can her past affect how we both feel about each other now?” replied Peter, trying to restrain his anger.
“All I’m saying is that Jack and I need to talk to Evie, to tell her a certain truth and it won’t be easy. In fact, I’d like you to be here when we tell her – not in the same room but nearby. She may need you afterwards.”
It was agreed that they would speak to Evie that evening. Jed had asked her if she would join them both in the parlour at five because there were domestic issues they wanted to discuss with her. Evie assumed this was something to do with Jack’s care and resolved not to give way on the principle that she wouldn’t revert to being Jack’s nurse. Peter was briefed to stay in his room until he was needed.
Jack and Jed were in the parlour well before five. Jack looked frightened and frail. Jed stood by the fireplace trying to assume an air of authority. Five minutes late, Evie breezed into the room.
“Can we make this quick?” she suggested. “We’re going to motor into Norwich this evening – might see a show.”
“Evie, my dear,” began Jed, “your Uncle Jack and I have something to tell you – something that may distress you deeply. But you must remember at all times that what we did was in your best interests. We did it because we love you.”
Upstairs, Peter lay on his bed turning over in his mind what sort of issue was about to be revealed to Evie and how it could affect their plans to marry. Was she ill in some way? Was there some inherited disease or maybe lunacy that was passed down the family line? Maybe he shouldn’t have asked Jed’s permission. But Evie had wanted it. She had told him that Jed would be so honoured to be asked.
His thoughts were interrupted by a piercing scream. He leapt to his feet, unsure whether to race downstairs or to respect Jed’s wishes. Then he heard another scream, the sound of agitated men’s voices and a door banging violently. He rushed downstairs to find Jed by the front door and Jack holding his hands over his face by the entrance to the parlour.
“What’s happened? Where’s Evie gone?”
“It upset her. She couldn’t cope with it. She’s gone off.”
“What couldn’t she cope with?” shouted Peter, grabbing Jed roughly by the lapels of his jacket. Tell me, Jed. What have you just said to her?”
“I’ve told her she’s not my daughter. She’s Jack’s daughter,” spluttered Jed, his words constricted by Peter’s hold. “And that makes you cousins. So now do you see? You and Evie are first cousins. She had to be told. I couldn’t let the lie live on into another generation. Now you know the truth.”
Peter looked aghast. He said nothing. Simply looking at Jed and Jack told him that this was the truth. He released his hold on Jed and swung the front door open. Running to the gate he stared up and down Duck Lane. There was no sign of Evie. He decided to turn left towards the meadows. He was certain that was the route she’d take.
Evie reached the end of the made up road and stumbled onto the grass path. It had rained and the ground was soggy. Mud splashed over her legs as she ran. Her head was spinning. Her whole world had been shattered. How could her father, the man she had been brought up to trust and obey, turn out not be her father at all? And how could the loving uncle, who was always there to comfort her, turn out to be the one who had slept with her mother and brought her into this world? What did this make her? She wasn’t who she thought she was at all. She was somebody else.
She half stumbled, half ran along the path towards Offa’s Mount. She was crying out loud, pain welling up from inside. And what of Peter? What would he think now? Jed had explained that they were first cousins and that they needed to think carefully about the risks. Why would he take the risk of having damaged children? He would leave her and find somebody else.
Worst of all was her mother’s betrayal, allowing her all these years to believe that Jed was her father. Through her letters, Evie felt she had come to know her mother. She had let her into her life. She had become her best friend and confidant. But now she felt that she didn’t know her at all. Like the others, she had lied to her. She didn’t know any of them anymore. She felt completely isolated.
Peter arrived at the meadows, breathless and confused. Had she gone right towards the oak tree or left towards Offa’s Mount? He guessed the Mount and set off in that direction. He could hardly comprehend the enormity of the lie, to bring up a child not knowing that her father lived as a member of the same household. How could Jack have done that, allowing another man to bring up his child? And how could Jed, always so righteous and honourable, have subscribed to this deception? No wonder Evie had run from the house. She’d been betrayed – betrayed by those who professed to love her most.
“I told you that’d happen,” hissed Jack. “She won’t see it like we do. To her, we’ve lied, cheated on her, made her life a complete parody. And it’s down to you, Jed, you and your bloody self righteous streak. Why didn’t you just leave things as they were?”
She had twisted her foot and was out of breath. She could go no further. She crawled over to an embankment by a swiftly running stream. She lay on the grass, listening to the burbling water as it tumbled over rocks.
Suddenly, she felt so sorry for Jed. All these years she had treated him with indifference and scorn, reserving her affection for Jack. Jack laughed with her, spoilt her, gave her treats and stuck up for her when Jed was angry. Now she could see why. He was protecting his own daughter whilst refusing to acknowledge her as his own. Yet Jed had unselfishly taken on that responsibility. It was he who dealt with her tantrums, he who chastised her and he who set out the clear boundaries which had guided her upbringing. Even though she wasn’t his own child, Jed had willingly taken responsibility and raised her as his own.
“Evie, are you there? Where are you, Evie?” She recognised Peter’s voice not far from the embankment. She felt like remaining silent. She needed time to think and plan, like Peter had done when he returned from the Far East. But then she remembered how she had been frustrated by his silence and by being locked out of his life.
“I’m over here by the brook.”
His head appeared over the embankment, sweaty and out of breath.
“Oh, thank God you’re safe. I thought you might have fallen into one of these streams.”
He slithered down the embankment and put his arms around her.
“Jed told me,” he said. “He told me about the lie. It must be a terrible shock.”
“Of course, it’s a shock!” Evie retorted, sounding more aggressive than she had intended. “I’ve been lied to for twenty four years. I don’t know who I am anymore.”
/>
“Well, that makes two of us then,” said Peter with a wry smile on his face. “Perhaps we’ll make a good team, both in search of our identity.”
“You know why Jed decided to tell me now, don’t you?” asked Evie.
“I can guess. I asked Jed this afternoon for his blessing. He said he couldn’t give it – not at the moment, not until he’d spoken to you first. He wouldn’t say what was on his mind, just that the time had come for the truth to be told.”
“So, it turns out we’re first cousins, you and me. They say it’s not a good idea for first cousins to marry.”
“I don’t care what people say or think, Evie. I’ve told you I want to marry you and I’m not going back on that. Look, we’ve both come through an ugly war and survived. I’m not sacrificing our future now to some bit of rural folklore.”
Peter arrived back at Hope Cottage as dusk was falling. He was carrying Evie in his arms. He took her straight to her room and they both stayed there that night. The following day, Evie remained in her room and declined requests from Jed and Jack to be allowed to talk to her. Peter was with her for much of the day, helping her to make sense of the new situation. What particularly worried Evie was the right or wrong of getting married to Peter. She loved him wholeheartedly but was it immoral to enter into a relationship knowing that their children were at risk?
Later in the afternoon, Peter went for a walk leaving Evie alone. She lay on the bed trying to digest some of the conversations that she’d had with Peter that morning. Her eyes alighted once more on the silver box containing her mother’s letters. A thought suddenly occurred. She took the box and opened the lid. One letter remained unopened. It was intended for her twenty–fifth birthday next May. She was honour bound not to open each letter until the appropriate birthday but everything had changed now. She no longer held her mother in the same esteem that she had before learning the truth about her father and she felt she was no longer bound by promises made under false pretences.
Nervously, she slit open the envelope and began to read.
Darling Evie,
This is the last letter that I will write to you. I am growing tired now and I sense the end may not be far away. Writing these letters has been such a comfort to me. They have helped me to feel that the end is not so final, that through these words you and I have kept our love alive over these past twenty years. I have spoken to you about thoughts and ideas that seemed important to me and that I hope have meant something to you too. But in a sense, all that I have been telling you has been preparing you for this final letter. Because, Evie, my darling, there is something that I have kept from you and that I must tell you now because it’s your right to know. As a result of this, you may hate me but that is a risk that I must take. I hope that in time you can come to understand what led me to do as I did and to forgive me.
There is no easy way to tell you this. Daddy, my Jed, is not your father. Your real father is Uncle Jack. Maybe you already know this and have come to terms with the news. Maybe this comes to you as a terrible shock and is hurting you now terribly. Maybe you are crying and hating me. I am so, so sorry.
It’s a long story and I’m too tired to go into detail. Jed is a wonderful man. I married him because he offered me hope and a way out of the life I despised. But I didn’t love him in the way I needed to. Then Jack came into my life and filled it with passion. My plans were all lost. I gave myself to this man because he opened my eyes to a side of me that had lain undiscovered up to that point. Once my soul had been awakened, there was no going back. And you, my darling, are the result. Imagine the hurt to poor Jed. Imagine the rejection of all the plans we’d made together. And so it was decided that we would try to remain a family. To the outside world, Jed would be your father and Jack would be your uncle. I think, my darling, that I thought the affair with Jack would end quickly and then Jed and I could go back to leading a simple life. But then I became ill and it was clear that your future would lie in the hands of two men who had been brought to the brink of hatred through their love for me. It was a terrible situation to wish on both men and a terrible start for you, my dear, in life. I don’t know what happened. I pray it turned out for the best.
What can I say to you? Sorry seems irrelevant. I did what I had to do and you were conceived in love. Be impetuous, darling, be yourself but remember that you have the capacity to hurt as well as to love. How you balance these two impostors is the greatest challenge you will face.
Good bye, my love, and may God bless you always.
Your loving mother, Alice XX
Evie wept as she read the letter. Her mother had fallen off the pedestal that she had placed her on but suddenly she had become a real person, someone who made mistakes but lived with them. Her mother was not a quitter. She had lived life fully and given herself to others with energy and commitment. Could she do the same? What would Alice have advised her to do? Surely Alice would go with the man she loved, regardless of obstacles. She would seize the opportunity and live with the consequences. Evie felt the bond with her mother renewing – not as some unapproachable idol, but as a real person, vulnerable, ambitious and loving.
The following day, Evie agreed to see Jed and Jack separately. She felt able now to talk to them without the anger that had gripped her in the previous days. Jed came to see her first. He told her again how sorry he was but that he felt the truth had to come out. She told him that he had been a good father to her and she would always go on thinking of him as her father. She asked him about Alice and about the affair with Jack. He told her that he always thought it would end, that one day Alice would return to him. For that reason he accepted the humiliation of having another man living in his house with his wife. Evie hugged him and told him that there was never a better father than he had been to her.
She met Jack in the sitting room. He was in his wheelchair by the fire, nervously fingering a handkerchief.
“So, you’re my father then?” she said in a matter–of–fact voice.
“Yes, I am, Evie, and I have so missed being a real father to you.”
“I have a real father – Jed. And that hasn’t changed.”
Jack lowered his eyes.
“Why did you do it – give up your daughter?”
“Because I loved your mother so very much. At the time it seemed the only way out. She wouldn’t leave Jed and I couldn’t live without her. I didn’t expect to live long. They’d only given me three years. I thought that after I’d gone Alice would get back with Jed and everything would be OK. By then I would’ve helped Jed build his business and he’d be able to look after you both. I’d just be a memory in the churchyard. That’s why I went along with it, Evie, but I’ve regretted it many times since.”
“Why, Uncle Jack?”
“Because I couldn’t have that intimacy and bond with you that a real father has with his daughter. Oh, I played the role of doting uncle alright and gave you sweets and toys, but we’ve never had a proper conversation. You’ve never let me into your heart, Evie.”
The next day, Evie insisted that she and Peter take a walk. It was blustery but not cold. The landscape was still firmly rooted in winter, milky white skies looking down on leafless trees and dormant fields.
“Where are we going?” demanded Peter.
“You’ll see,” she replied.
It soon became clear that they were heading for Offa’s Mount. Peter immediately realised that there was purpose in Evie’s walk and braced himself for whatever was about to happen.
They reached the top of Offa’s Mount and looked silently over the view that had already played an important part in their lives. Heavy rain clouds racing in from the east cast shadows across the landscape, interspersed with shafts of bright sunlight which lit the scene like a stage. In the distance, they could just make out the sparkling reflection of the sea. To the south and west, pastures and ploughed fields stretched as far as the eye could see.
“There’s something about this place,” said Evie. �
�It’s where we come when we need strength or when we need to begin again. It seems to have the power to create new energy.”
“Why have you brought me here, Evie?”
“Because I want to accept your invitation of marriage. I do want to marry you, Peter, with all of my heart and all of my soul. But I want you to ask me properly, here, now on Offa’s Mount. Because it’s special to us.”
Peter dropped onto one knee and took both of Evie’s hands in his. Wind gusted round the Mount and a break in the clouds allowed sunlight to percolate through. He had to shout against the rising wind.
“Evie Carter, I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul. I want to be with you forever. Will you marry me?”
The wind tugged at their clothes and drops of rain started to lash at their faces.
“Of course, I will, Peter. Of course, I’ll marry you.”
She dropped to her knees and they kissed, alone on Offa’s Mount with only the elements to witness their commitment.
The Guest Who Stayed: Chapter 22 – 1947
Evie and Peter married in March 1947 – nothing ostentatious, just a simple ceremony at St. Martin’s followed by a buffet lunch at Hope Cottage. Jack was unable to attend the church as he was now confined to bed, struggling to get his breath as his damaged lungs finally gave up. With Peter’s help, Evie had come to terms with the events of the past twenty five years and was fully reconciled with both Jack and Jed. The two men had buried their differences, becoming firm friends in what would be Jack’s final days. Jed spent many hours by Jack’s bedside helping him make peace with some of the memories which still haunted him and holding his hand when the spectre of death looked him straight in the eyes.
Something that concerned Evie and Jed were letters that had started arriving for Jack some weeks earlier. They were postmarked ‘London’ and were addressed in small neat handwriting. Jack refused to say who had sent them but after each letter he seemed visibly shaken.
The Guest Who Stayed Page 31