Lost Past

by Teresa McCullough

  John followed Baldur through the narrow corridors, which didn’t seem claustrophobic to him, just normal. Well, he thought, one mystery has been solved. My apartment on Earth must seem luxurious compared with what people have here. He accepted that he came from here, if nothing else, because of his appearance. It may be a stranger in the mirror, but he spent enough time looking at that stranger to recognize he must be related to the people he saw. They passed the stairway where they entered. John couldn’t help but look at the display of the Founding Foundlings. I may not know who my parents are, but those are my ancestors, he thought.

  He was taken to a single person’s apartment. It was smaller than the room he was in before, but intended for one person. John had been in larger closets. “They wanted to give you more computer access without giving it to those others. You might want time to prepare your defense,” Baldur said.

  “Defense against what?”

  “Breaking your contract.” He locked the door, leaving John to wonder if he was entitled to a lawyer. Apparently not.

  He decided to check his background before reading the contract, because he had so many questions. He was pleased so much information was readily available.

  Arthur Saunders published a paper on the mathematics of wormholes. It was ignored on Earth because they weren’t even certain that large wormholes existed. The Plicts’ planet and Earth were connected by a wormhole, and the Plicts decided Arthur might be able to help them understand it. Juan Hernandez, who was an anthropologist studying Mexico, approached Arthur. Arthur agreed to help, but didn’t get along with Hernandez.

  Apparently, someone decided John would be a better guide for Arthur than Hernandez, since he was already doing some unspecified work on Earth. He became Arthur’s chauffer and later his friend. Arthur spent a lot of time on the Plicts’ planet until the project was finished.

  Arthur and John continued their friendship, whenever John could find time. When Natalie disappeared, Arthur asked John if he would look into her disappearance with the Vigintees. John did a little cursory checking and found nothing. Nine months later, he discovered by accident that she had been kidnapped from Earth and used in a secret experiment on telepathy. It was believed she had it, largely based on something John once said. They tried various methods to see if she had telepathy, but they didn’t confirm she had it. She died during an attempt to escape. Surprisingly few details were given. John realized he had more computer access, but not unlimited computer access.

  Mary Chen had just moved in with Arthur, indicating Arthur clearly was moving on. The children had lost a mother, but Mary Chen was no replacement. She loved Arthur, but the children were an annoyance. Her classes and research occupied all of the time she didn’t spend with Arthur.

  John realized he could help Tom and Linda by moving in and becoming a parent. His previous online courses were designed to give him a new identity. Fortunately, they were acceptable as a premed curriculum. Medical school was easy for him, because he already knew most of the material.

  He also took his accumulated wealth with him. Because the Vigintees didn’t approve of what he was doing, he was leaving permanently.

  He reached an agreement with the Vigintees government. He could go, train as a psychiatrist, but he couldn’t teach Vigintees psychiatry to Earth doctors. There was some discussion about the vital clause in his contract that allowed him to surreptitiously teach psychiatry, but it was considered legal. As long as they just learned from watching him, he was within the terms of the contract, but he couldn’t tell them to watch or explain anything. The penalty was death.

  Reading the contract confirmed this. Somehow, he managed to have them agree to the contract, which allowed some of his knowledge to get out. He didn’t have to hide what he was doing; as long as he was not so obvious as to say, “Watch me,” he could convey as much information as he liked. He was not allowed to publish any papers, which accounted for his insistence that his name be kept off the papers Eric published. He realized that would bother Eric, who felt guilty getting credit for someone else’s work.

  Whoever consented to the contract obviously underrated both John and the psychiatrists on Earth. The contract writers must have thought that the Earth psychiatrists were short-lived animals and would never understand what John was doing. John found himself ashamed of the society he came from. Did he ever believe what the writers of the contract believed? He hoped not.

  John studied Vigintees law and wasn’t encouraged. It was more a matter of guilty until proven innocent rather than the other way around. Two days of studying made him believe they wouldn’t be lenient.

  When Baldur took John to a courtroom, he wasn’t surprised to find three people sitting on chairs that were slightly raised. There was an elderly man in the middle and a younger man and a woman flanking him. It was the largest room he had seen, but was just the size of a small classroom on Earth. Baldur led John to a circle on the floor, where he stood before the judges. Katrine and Hernandez were both among the spectators, as well as the other three men who hijacked Arthur’s plane.

  The court started with a ceremony. The judges sang an eerie song that praised the Plict, accompanied by a recording of music that stirred John’s soul. The music on Earth was noise compared to this. There were places for a response from the audience and John found himself joining in. He couldn’t have predicted his response, but he knew what to say when the time came.

  The ceremony seemed to invoke more of an emotional response than anything John experienced since he awoke in the hospital. He realized he missed this, and the ceremony spoke to a part of him that was suppressed and yearned to be released. It shook him to realize how important this was to him. He didn’t think he was a religious man, yet this filled the niche that religion fills.

  After the ceremony, the man in the middle asked him, “Have you broken your agreement?”

  “I did not remember any agreement,” John replied.

  “You are to answer the question, not offer excuses.”

  “While suffering from amnesia, I performed actions that broke an agreement I was unaware of.”

  “Can you prove that you had amnesia?” asked the female judge with contempt in her voice.

  “The doctors on Earth know that I suffered it.”

  “Their testimony is not admissible,” she said. Her computer gave a slight beep and she looked at her screen. “I’ve been informed that they can’t be sure, even if they could testify.” John looked around and realized Hernandez sent her the message from the smug look on his face and the computer that was on his lap.

  “Why isn’t it admissible?” John asked.

  She looked at him incredulously and started to say something dismissive, but the older judge spoke, “We are trying to conceal our presence on Earth.”

  It was John’s turn to be incredulous. “You certainly haven’t succeeded! They may not know who you are, but they know about you all over the world. They will be looking for you and probably connect Hernandez with everything.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The killing of a planeload of passengers, the interruption of the communications, and the kidnapping of Arthur Saunders.”

  Hernandez came forward and said, “I explained to you about Saunders when I brought him here. He would have told John to publicize his knowledge, and we had to keep him from doing so. John trusted him. We’ve been over this, and the kidnapping was approved.”

  “Why didn’t you just kidnap me?” John asked.

  Everyone looked shocked at this. It was Katrine who explained to John, “You were there legally and had rights. The animals didn’t.”

  “Arthur’s only message to me told me not to change my behavior. If Arthur had any influence over me, I wouldn’t have published.”

  “But you did publish,” the center judge said.

  “I wanted to get the knowledge out before I was killed.”

  “No one attacked you,” Hernandez said, with a slight emphasis on “
you.”

  “The best way to keep people from silencing me was to make sure killing me would have no impact. With the knowledge out there, there was no reason to kill me.” John realized they considered his personal fear a better defense than his desire to ensure that the important knowledge was disseminated. He refrained from mentioning that passing the knowledge for personal safety never occurred to him before he stepped into the courtroom.

  “Why did you feel threatened?” the chief judge asked.

  “Because of Arthur.” He turned to Hernandez. “What I don’t understand is why you had to kill so many people to get Arthur. And why didn’t you just destroy the plane?”

  “We didn’t think the Plicts would approve of killing Saunders,” Hernandez said. “Besides, they wanted him here. They felt he could learn more about wormholes, but he went on to other research. He disobeyed the Plicts.”

  There was a murmur at this statement. John briefly found himself siding against Arthur, but common sense prevailed. Arthur was not obligated to obey the Plicts.

  One judge started questioning Hernandez, who explained Mason’s death and the interference with communications were both designed to keep John’s knowledge from getting out. John risked a brief question then: “Why?”

  “Because the Plict wouldn’t like it.” That seemed to settle it.

  “We intercepted Mason’s call,” Hernandez explained, “and thought killing him would solve it. Eric Schwartz and John Graham went to the hospital, and we weren’t sure we could find them in the building. We didn’t think they would be telling anyone else for a while, and we were busy keeping a cap on communications until we were sure. Once we realized that John gave out information, we could bring him in. We still wanted to limit communication, because we might be able to contain it. When we found everyone in his office, we took them because they might have continued the information leak.”

  The judges asked Hernandez for more details, which he gave reluctantly. Several times, Hernandez tried to turn the focus back to John, but the judges were clearly interested in the extent of Hernandez’ activities.

  The bombing at the school was disclosed and all three judges were a bit unhappy about it, but not seriously concerned. The passengers on the airplane were brought up. Hernandez admitted two of his friends returned to Earth to find Schwartz, Pedro, and Jun and kill them. They bombed all of their houses, so they assumed they were dead. A wave of guilt hit John. He warned them it was dangerous, but he didn’t really believe they would die.

  It didn’t look good for Hernandez, but clearly the judges considered this a crime akin to randomly killing animals, and not very valuable animals at that. The discussion and delay were long enough so they adjourned.

  Hernandez came up to John before he left the courtroom. “I may be banned from Earth when this is over, but you’ll be dead,” he told John with a satisfied smile.

  John realized Hernandez believed what he said. A glance at Katrine and Baldur confirmed they believed it too.

  John was surprised when no one came to take him into custody. He realized there was little point. Where would he go?

  Katrine came up to him and said, “We could have one last night together.” He went to her apartment, not sure of what else he should do. He felt he would have more freedom here than anywhere else, because it wouldn’t be locked from the outside.

  “You are calmer than I am. You know you are going to die tomorrow, and you’re barely reacting. I have a horrible headache and I am having trouble breathing through my nose. My muscles ache. I thought I would be pleased when you died. I wanted you dead. My body is telling me that I still love you. When you wouldn’t come to me on Earth, I hated you. I was in a strange place surrounded by animals and open sky. I thought it would be enjoyable. Hernandez promised me I would like it, but I could see long distances and there was no ceiling. I was frightened. I told you so, but you still didn’t come. I spent hours waiting. Finally, Hernandez came and took me home.”

  He pulled the bed down for her and she sat on it. “I don’t really feel like sex, but I want you here.”

  He took her hand; it was hot. He realized she was interpreting her symptoms as psychological, but they were physical. Cara must have given her something when she sneezed in her face. He gave her a cup of water and encouraged her to drink it.

  “Just relax,” he said. She lay back and was asleep in minutes.

  One last night to relish his freedom, or one last night to try to escape. It wasn’t a hard choice. He left her room and headed for the only exit he knew, the stairway to outside. Hernandez was waiting for him. John could have tried to turn, but the flow of foot traffic would call attention to him. Instead, he tried boldness.

  “Hernandez,” he said. “Katrine is sick, and I think it’s flu. With her lack of immunities, she may die. I’m lost and don’t know where to find a doctor. She’s asking for you. What should I do?”

  A curl came up on his lip. “Nice try, but I’m still guarding the stairs.”

  “Call her.”

  Hernandez pulled a weapon and covered John, but went to an irregularity in the mirrored wall. There was some kind of an intercom system on the walls.

  He called a doctor, then told John to go back to her apartment. “Walk ahead of me. I’ll be covering you.”

  Hernandez didn’t stay very close to him, which eliminated the possibility of John trying anything fancy to disarm him, not that John knew how to do it. John understood there was no point in having a long-range weapon and lose the advantage of it by keeping close, but Hennandez left too much space. When an intersection came, someone slipped into the space between them. John turned a corner, going the wrong direction. Hernandez hesitated, and a second person came between them. Hernandez decided to follow John, but John wandered around until there were six people between them. John had a perfect defense if stopped and questioned. He was behaving reasonably. Hernandez shouldn’t have held a weapon on him and John had a right to avoid him.

  Hernandez stuck with him. John led him past Katrine’s room, but didn’t stop. Hernandez entered the room.

  John went as rapidly as he could to the stairs. He was out on the roof in a field of strawberries when he heard the door to the decontamination room open.

  There was no place to hide outside. The sun was near the horizon, but it could be morning or evening. He didn’t even know how long a day was. He ran toward a random wall. He stepped on strawberries and plowed through tomato plants. The wall at the edge was seven feet high and opaque. Hernandez was out of the stairway, running toward him. Why didn’t he fire?

  Range, John thought. The weapon must not be as long range as he thought. He jumped up and grabbed the edge of the wall. He pulled himself to the top and looked over, seeing only ocean. Hernandez fired and John felt a tingle on his left arm. No harm done, but Hernandez was coming closer and wouldn’t miss his next shot. He had no way of knowing how deep the water was, but he pushed himself off the wall, trying to get as much distance as he could.

  As he fell, he saw land on the horizon. How far away was it? He wasn’t sure, but more than a mile. Could he swim that far? He didn’t have a clue, although he remembered that his email said he swam regularly with Arthur.

  The cold water shocked him when he hit, but he realized it could be worse. It was a reasonable temperature; he would have time to swim somewhere. Where?

  He hit the bottom with a start, his shoes and legs taking part of the blow. The water was over his head, but if he had dived in, he might be dead now. He could see nothing out to sea, so he picked a random direction parallel to the shore and started swimming. He was in the shadow of the island, and probably difficult to see. He was comfortable swimming, but he couldn’t swim forever. The cliff was completely vertical for about a quarter of a mile, but a few high rocks stood out, and he headed for them.

  There was a small pebbly beach at the base of the cliff. Looking at the wall of the city, the beach went underwater at high tide. There was a shallow cave, jus
t two yards deep, but above the high tide mark. He saw no plants or animals, but he couldn’t see anywhere else to stay. He crawled into the cave, hoping it would block the signal of the transponder. He took his knife out of his pocket and dug the transponder out of his shoulder, wincing as he did so. Fortunately it was just below his skin, and his fear of being caught overcame his reluctance to hurt himself. By the time he finished, the sun set, and it was hard to tell by the dim light, but he thought his slight bleeding wouldn’t leave a sign he was there. He smashed the transponder between two rocks, but wasn’t certain it was broken.

  High tide erased the beach, leaving him a tiny spot to sleep, although he was too upset to do so. He licked the dew off the wall of the cave, which was inadequate to quench his thirst, but it helped, and the salty water outside would make things worse. His shoulder was no longer bleeding. He wondered what to do with the transponder. He walked out on what had been the beach. The water was knee deep. He saw a grey, fish-like animal. Hunger made him grab it. He put it briefly on the floor of the cave. “Not edible,” came to his mind. A memory? He wasn’t sure. He fed the “fish” the transponder and released it.

  He heard the noises of the search above him, but they never came down. Surely they knew the cave was here? He heard enough conversation to realize they were looking for his body. His jump wasn’t extraordinary. Why were they certain he drowned?

  They don’t swim, he thought. Hernandez would know it was possible, but did he know that John swam? Possibly not.

  John realized he never used a defense that Hernandez gave him. If Hernandez didn’t believe in the amnesia, why would he do so much to keep John from being influenced by Arthur? When John knew who he was, he kept his agreement. Hernandez must have believed the amnesia was real. John doubted that this would save him if he returned, but wished he tried it at the trial.

  He managed a few hours of sleep during the next day, but at dusk he tried to swim again. It was clear and starlight would help. He mentally marked a large rock he thought was distinctive enough that he could find the cave again. He swam more around the wall and found two more beaches and a better cave. There was water dripping from the roof of the cave and he licked it. The morning brought enough dew to satisfy his thirst, but he knew he needed food. There was a purple mold on the side of the cliff, but he didn’t try eating it because he had no idea if it was edible. He worked his way gradually around the city until he came to a place that he thought he could climb. There were cracks in the rock wall that gave him handholds. He took it slowly, and finally made it to the top. There was an outcropping of rock that gave him a place to grab onto the fence. He climbed it and looked around. No one was there.