Allyson ran into the room. “C’mon, Uncle Zach. Watch me swim!”
He stared at Shelley as if he hadn’t heard.
“Would you like a beer?” she asked, hoping to break that grim gaze.
“Sure.” She practically heard a snap! as he turned his head and followed Allyson out to the pool. Slowly, carefully, she walked to a chair at the kitchen table and there, finally, relaxed her shaky knees.
What a nightmare! When Allyson said she’d planned a surprise, Shelley had never dreamed it would be Zach.
Had she convinced him? What would she do if he didn’t believe her?
And how could she sit through the afternoon talking as if nothing had happened between them, as if none of this mattered at all?
Taking a deep breath, she stood up again. Somehow, she would. She had to, or all her careful plans would crumble. She’d made a career of submitting feelings to calculation. She could do what the moment demanded.
And fall apart later.
When she went outside again, Zach had pulled a chair to the edge of the pool. He sat there barefoot, cheering Allyson on. Shelley swallowed hard. The man had such nicely shaped feet.
She took him the beer. “Thanks,” he said, looking up at her with a distance in his gaze she despised, yet needed. “You sit here and I’ll get another chair.” He stood and pulled over a second chair. They both sat down. “Ally Cat swims like a fish, doesn’t she?”
“She’s always loved the water. Or anything active and outdoors, really. Listen, Zach—”
He spoke at the same time. “Shelley, I want—”
They fell silent, but there was none of the usual laughter such situations produced. Zach found his voice first. “I really thought you knew I’d be coming over.” He stared at the mug turning between his fingers. “I’m sorry I showed up and made things awkward for you.”
She admired his generosity in taking the blame. “And I’m sorry my daughter played such a thoughtless trick on both of us. I’ll talk to her about that later. She’s so glad to see you, I hate to spoil her pleasure with a lecture.”
“I’m okay, if you are. You don’t need to yell at her on my account.”
Like strangers, they were talking without actually looking at each other. Even his voice had changed. He sounded official—the cop she’d first met—instead of the man who’d made love to her during a wild weekend in March.
“She put us both in an embarrassing position, and I have a feeling she knew that ahead of time.” Shelley watched the troublemaker swim the length of the pool underwater. “Allyson has a habit of wanting her own way and causing trouble if she doesn’t get it. I’m scared to think about what happens when she gets to be a teenager.”
Zach chuckled. “I can tell you that. My youngest sister is fourteen, and she’s driving my mother crazy.”
“Doing what?” She couldn’t resist the urge to look at him. “I’d better be prepared.”
“The latest stunt was getting her navel pierced. Without checking with any of us first.”
“I’ll bet that went over well.”
“Yeah.” He glanced over with a smile. “She’s gotten involved with some kind of group at school organized around the principle of challenging parents at every opportunity. Carol was even picked up for shoplifting, back in…June.” After a pause, he went on smoothly enough. “That didn’t do much for my mom, the cop’s widow, or my brother, and sister, the cops. Or me.”
“I guess not. How does your mother handle stuff like this?”
He slouched down in his chair and took a long sip of beer. “Usually she calls me. Carol and I are pretty close, have been since I got out of the army when my dad died. So sometimes she’s prepared to listen to me.”
“Can’t any of your other siblings help?”
“My brother Grant was diagnosed with leukemia when he was a kid. Mom was pretty busy with him. Dad worked as a cop, plus nightshift as a security guard. As the other kids came along, I sorta took charge. And, I guess, the habit stuck.”
No wonder he didn’t want children. He’d already raised a family: “So you’re keeping tabs on your sister. How’d she get away to get the piercing done?”
He sighed. “She said she went to a movie. But my sister-in-law dropped her off without staying to watch and make sure Carol paid for a ticket and went inside. The little sneak waited until the coast was clear, then called her friends and ran around for two hours.”
“That’s scary.”
He nodded, not looking at her. “Definitely scary.”
Allyson came to a stop just below them and leaned on the edge of the pool. “I did ten whole laps, Mommy, Did you see me swim underwater?”
“I did. You’re as good as a seal. You’ve got a drink over on the table.”
“Thanks!” The splash of Allyson’s turn as she headed for the ladder spattered Shelley from the waist down.
“Ack!” Shaking off her hands, she looked over to find Zach in the same shape. “I’m sorry—let me get you a towel.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He was laughing, thank goodness. “Sun’ll dry me in just a few minutes. But you’re drenched. Maybe you…should…change.”
His words slowed as he looked her over. Shelley, glanced down and saw that she’d gotten wetter than she first realized. The light knit of her T-shirt dress now clung all too closely to her rounded stomach. She looked exactly what she was. Pregnant.
With Mark’s baby. Remember Mark.
“That’s probably a good idea,” Shelley grabbed at the chance to escape. “I’ll be right back.”
And just in case, maybe she’d better spend the time figuring out where her imaginary husband was this afternoon, before she got hit with a question she obviously couldn’t answer.
ZACH WATCHED Shelley hurry into the house as if she couldn’t get away fast enough. Which made sense, since having him here had to remind her of that weekend… something her new husband wouldn’t be happy to know about. Zach could sympathize—thinking of Shelley with another man didn’t exactly brighten his day.
Fortunately, a distraction sat nearby. He joined her at the table. “Hey, Ally Cat—you’re quite a swimmer.”
“Thanks!” She had wrapped herself in a towel and sat at the table with a glass of lemonade. “Are you going to swim, too?”
“Didn’t bring my suit. But you got me wet—does that count?”
She grinned. “Sorry. Did you know we’re having a baby?”
For a second, the earth shifted underneath him, at least a five on the Richter scale. Which baby did she mean? “Are you excited?”
“Oh, yeah. It’ll be cool to have somebody to play with.”
He still wasn’t sure who they were talking about. “I bet What do you think the baby’s name will be?”
“I like Matilda. But Daddy’s not too sure about that.”
Zach relaxed a little. That would mean Claire’s baby. “What if it’s a boy?”
“No way.” She shook her head and spattered him with a few more drops of water. “I want a girl.”
“Okay.” He had an overwhelming urge to push the topic, to ask about Shelley’s baby, about Shelley’s husband. But he didn’t intend to interrogate a child. “What are you doing to keep busy down here?”
As Allyson described a trip to the zoo in Colorado Springs, shopping, concerts, and more shopping, Shelley came out onto the deck in dry clothes. Her shorts and shirt in a crisp, lime green linen made her look almost as slim as ever, almost as slender as the nights he’d held her in his arms…
Wrong train of thought. “Sounds like you’re having a great time this summer.”
“Oh, yes.” She sat down across the table from him and Allyson. “Next week we’re going down to Phoenix for a few nights to visit my grandparents. After that, we might fly to San Diego. I haven’t been to the coast in a long time.”
“Cool!” Allyson bounced in her chair. “Can we go to Sea World?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” Shelley leaned forwa
rd to ruffle wet black curls. “And the Wild Animal Park. And the zoo. You’ll be sick of animals by the time you get home again.”
“Not me. I’m gonna be a vet when I grow up. Dr. Jeff said I could work with him.”
“Dr. Jeff is… ?”
“The vet in Wyoming, Mommy. ’Member?”
“That’s right”
For a second, the light in Shelley’s face dimmed at the mention of Wyoming, and Zach got a glimpse of the hurt she still carried. For a reason he didn’t want to think about, he came to the rescue with a change of subject. “That sounds like a great plan. Better keep your grades up.”
“I made straight A’s this year.”
“Good job! What do you think fourth grade will be like?”
“Hard.” They talked for a while about school and sports and Darius the Perfect Persian. When the drinks were finished, Allyson jumped up. “I’m going back in—watch me dive, Uncle Zach!”
Zach stood, too. “Before you get wet again, Ally Cat, I’d better say goodbye. I’ve got some work to do this afternoon.”
Her lower lip stuck out. “Do you have to go? I wanted you to stay for supper. He can stay, can’t he, Mommy?”
Shelley hesitated, and Zach knew he’d made the right choice. “Thanks, I’d like to. But if I don’t get these reports done, I’ll spend all week trying to catch up. Maybe another time.” Not that there would be another time, with Mark in the picture.
“But you could stay a little while, couldn’t you?”
“Allyson.” Shelley silenced the little girl with a raised hand. “Arguing isn’t polite and won’t change his mind. Let’s just say goodbye, okay?”
“Okay.” Her woeful sigh could have melted a heart of granite.
Zach squeezed her shoulder. “Good girl. Look, I’m coaching a baseball team this summer. I’ll bring you to a game, okay?”
“Cool!” She danced into the house ahead of him, with her mother following them. At the doorway, Zach stood back for Shelley to go first.
She started to pass him, then stopped and looked up. “You’re really good with her. Thanks.”
“My pleasure.” They were close enough that he could touch her face, almost close enough for a kiss. But she was married, wasn’t she? And pregnant. Off-limits. Right?
In the cavernous entrance hall, he gave Allyson a hug. “Take care of your mom, Ally Cat. I’ll call you about the ball game.” He stood up. “You’re welcome to come, Shelley. We’re hoping to reach the playoffs. I’ve got a really good team.”
“Sounds like fun. I’ll see if I can get free.”
As Zach turned and opened the door, the devil he thought he’d conquered took hold of his will. He looked back over his shoulder. “I’m sorry I missed Mark. He can come to the game, too, by the way.”
“Mark?” Allyson’s clear voice echoed off the walls. “Who’s Mark?”
CHAPTER SIX
AS THE SILENCE intensified, even Allyson began to realize something was wrong. She looked from her mother to Zach and back again. “Mommy?”
Zach finally remembered how to breathe. “Shelley, I think we need to talk.”
She had lost every bit of color in her face. “Not now.”
“Yes. Now.” Damned if he’d leave until this was straightened out.
On cue, Allyson piped up again. “Who’s Mark?”
Since Shelley wasn’t moving, Zach did. He crossed to put a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Nobody to worry about, Ally Cat. But your mom and I need to talk by ourselves. Can you watch TV or something?”
“I want to go back in the pool.”
“Not right now, Allyson.” Shelley’s voice was dry and low. “You know you can’t swim without someone there. Give me a few minutes, and then I’ll go out with you. Meanwhile you can watch the movie we bought.”
The girl looked from one adult to the other, and whatever she saw in their faces must have convinced her. Without another protest, she headed up the staircase. In moments, the opening music from Peter Pan drifted down into the hall.
Zach took a deep breath. “Where can we talk?”
Shelley didn’t say anything. But she turned and led him through a hallway on the left side of the house, to a room at the very end. He stepped through the open door into a cool green space with blinds at the windows. A big desk sat in the center of the floor, its top covered with neat stacks of paper. The only chair was the one at the desk.
Behind him, the door shut. A switch clicked and overhead lights came on, dousing the shadows with an impersonal fluorescent glow.
When nothing else happened, Zach turned around. Shelley stood by the door, back against the wall, eyes wide, hands fisted at her sides. “What do you want?”
“There’s no Mark, is there?”
“No.”
“What about the ring?”
She shrugged. “I made up a husband and a wedding for the clients. Some of them are uncomfortable, with…”
“The fact that you’re pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“With my child.”
“Yes.”
“You weren’t planning to tell me.”
“No.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to know.”
“You didn’t—” She was right. This was just about the last thing he’d ever wanted to hear. “We were careful!”
She sighed, then shrugged. “There’s only one fail-proof method of birth control. Abstinence. And we didn’t use that one.”
Zach shoved his hands into his pockets and paced across to the window. The half-opened blind gave him a view of the pool and the smooth lawn beyond the deck. He watched heat waves shimmer over the concrete for a minute, trying to control the shakes in his knees. “Exactly what were you planning to do?”
“I am planning to have a baby.”
Invisible hands squeezed his throat. “By yourself?”
“It’s not a team sport.”
He faced her. “Parenting should be.”
She hadn’t moved. “I’ve been a single parent. I grew up with a single parent. That works okay.”
“Two parents work better.”
“Maybe.”
“Damn, Shelley. I had a right to know about this.”
“I’m sorry.” He’d never heard her voice so controlled, so flat. “But I understood your plans didn’t include kids of your own.”
“I don’t shove my responsibilities onto someone else’s plate!”
Her mouth twisted. “Neither do I. But we aren’t your responsibility.”
“Of course you are.”
“No, what happened was…an accident. We should have walked away. But we didn’t. Decisions have consequences.”
“For both of us.” Zach swallowed hard. “We have to get married, Shelley.”
She stared at him for a few seconds. And then laughed, a low, regretful sound. “Thanks but no thanks. Now, if you’re finished—”
“No, damm it, I’m not finished! You can’t just throw me out.”
“I’m not throwing you out. But I think we’ve said all there is to say.”
“Wrong.” He tried to gentle his voice. “Why won’t you marry me?”
“Because I don’t want to. Because I don’t need to.”
“Why don’t you think about what the baby needs?”
Her dark eyes flashed. “Oh, and what’s that? A father coerced into marriage? A family tied together by mistake?” She chopped at the air with the side of her hand. “Two people who have nothing in common but sex trying to act like parents?”
Zach gritted his teeth. “That’s not the situation.”
“Yes, that is the situation. And I’m not interested in being part of such a wreck. Again.”
That put him solidly in the picture. She’d said herself, her first marriage had been a disaster. A thought struck him. “Does Allyson know?”
“About the baby, of course.”
“About me?”
“
No.” One word. Wielded like a machete.
He waited to speak until he could trust his voice. “What did you tell her?”
“That I would do this by myself, with her to help.”
Eyes closed, he wished for another beer. “Don’t stall, Shelley.”
“That the father wasn’t interested.”
“You lied.” He opened his eyes to watch her face.
“Did I really?” She looked almost amused. “Do you want to be a dad?”
“Just because I didn’t plan this—”
“Wouldn’t you much rather just walk away?”
The same devil that prompted him to start this conversation now tempted him to do just what she suggested. Walk away. Forget Shelley. Forget there was a baby. She was willing to handle this alone. So let her.
Bile burned in his throat. “I can’t do that. Whatever I want, the fact is a child of mine is coming into the world. I’m prepared to take on that obligation.”
Shelley bent her head, and for a second he thought she might start to cry. That would be helpful—if he touched her, tried to comfort her, maybe they could salvage something out of this disaster.
But then she looked up. Her distant, hostile expression defeated his hopes. “I don’t see how you can assume any obligation unless I choose to let you. And I don’t.”
The last of his patience evaporated. “I’m trying to help you, damn it!”
“The biggest help you can be, Zach, is to walk away.”
He stared at her, trying to see past the mask. But there were no seams, no edges. If she wanted anything different from what she was saying—if she thought he had any rights at all in this situation—she wasn’t about to let him know.
The control in her voice only made him furious. “Great. Just great.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets, stalked to the door and flung it open. “I hope you don’t come to regret this decision.”
“Thanks for the concern.”
Her sarcasm bit like a snake. He left without a goodbye, without even a call to Allyson. He shut the front door firmly behind him.
So much for second chances.
SHELLEY STAYED where she was until she heard the front door close. A distant roar assured her Zach had driven away.
Expecting the Best (Harlequin Superromance) Page 7