Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 3: When Nature Calls (An Unofficial Minecraft Book)

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Minecraft: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 3: When Nature Calls (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) Page 3

by Herobrine Books


  And the worst of all the worst swear names I have ever heard someone call a Zombie…

  “Brain Muncher!”

  Yuck! That’s like the worst thing you could ever call someone.

  Even thinking about it gives me the creeps.

  I just have to make sure my Mom never gets a hold of my journal…

  Wednesday

  Today I had my Zombie Karate class test.

  It was real intense.

  The Zensei told us that we were going to be judged on form, power and technique.

  I was really nervous, but I knew I could do it.

  I started my technique and it was awesome.

  I could tell I lost a few points for form…It was probably because of my clumsy feet.

  Then I had to be tested for power.

  I had to break three wooden slabs with my feet, and then break three wooden slabs with my hand.

  I psyched myself up real good, and then I went for it.

  Hyaaaaahhhhh!

  Crack!

  My foot when flying half way across the room…

  It ended up hitting Creepy on the head really hard.

  All the kids ran for cover, and some kids even dived out the window.

  But Creepy used his Liquid Nitrogen Inhaler today, so it wasn’t a big deal.

  Well, that didn’t go too well. But I was determined to ace my hand board break.

  I hobbled over to the wooden slabs that were on top of the cobblestone blocks.

  I pulled my arm back and I gave it all I’ve got.

  Hyaaaaaahhhhh!

  Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop!

  All my fingers broke off and flew in different directions.

  I think one hit a classmate in the eye socket, because though it went in his direction, it disappeared as soon as it hit his face.

  Man, I thought…I’m going to fail my karate test.

  “Not today!” I said to myself. So I went for it again.

  Blam!

  I broke the boards so hard they shattered to pieces.

  I even had a piece still stuck to my forehead.

  “Congratulations. You passed your test.” Zensei said. “Good job using your head.”

  I was so happy I passed my test.

  But boy, my head really hurts…

  Thursday

  Today Dad was telling me how much he wants us to spend some quality time camping together when we go to the Jungle Biome.

  He said that getting back to nature would be great for us.

  Also, he said it would help me get an appreciation for the outdoors, the way our ancestors used to live.

  “Dad, I thought our ancestors lived in caves?” I asked.

  “Yes, son. But they went out every night to enjoy the night air. And that’s what we’re going to do.” Dad said.

  Hey, I like camping as much as the next Zombie. But I was really looking forward to hanging out with my friends during our Spring break adventure in the Jungle Biome.

  But, I guess I can do it for one day.

  “OK Dad, I’ll go camping with you for ONLY ONE DAY of our scarecation.” I said.

  “Great, I’ll start packing our gear. This is going to be the best family scarecation ever!” He said.

  Well, it was going to be…

  Before bed, Mom asked me to read a bed-time story to my brother.

  She was busy getting ready for a presentation for work or something.

  So I chose the scariest book I could find.

  I thought, maybe I could scare my little brother and he’ll be so traumatized, Mom will have to leave him with Grandma for Spring break.

  So I grabbed the most diabolical book ever created called, “There’s a Kid Under My Bed.”

  I remember when Mom read this book to me when I was a kid. I had daymares for weeks. I even stopped wetting the bed for a whole month.

  I thought, this should really scare the “bejeezus” out of my little brother.

  Half way through reading the book, my little brother fell asleep.

  He wasn’t scared at all.

  Man, when I was a kid, this book terrified me. Why didn’t he get scared?

  It must be something they put in the water or something, I thought.

  Later, in the middle of the day, I heard the loudest scream I had ever heard.

  When I woke up, I went to my little brother’s room and he was crawled up in a ball at the corner of his bed.

  Mom and Dad rushed in the room and held my little brother to calm him down.

  “Mumma, Dadda…Dares a liddle kid hiding unda my bet!!!!

  Mom looked at me with that piercing look that told me I was in real trouble.

  Man, I was sure it would work…

  Friday

  Today was our last day before Spring break.

  Everybody at school was so excited to finally get a break from school.

  I went around saying goodbye to everybody.

  Sally had left a day early, so I said goodbye to her yesterday.

  I was just really happy that my best friends were coming with me to the Jungle Biome.

  Me, Skelee, and Slimey all jumped on Mutant, because we all wanted to say goodbye to him at the same time.

  Creepy didn’t. I think Creepy is still scared of Mutant.

  Mutant smiled and gave us all a big hug.

  Later, Creepy called our parent to come pick us up.

  Took them a while to find all of our body parts and stuff…

  When I got home, and put myself back together, I started finishing packing for my trip.

  I was so excited!

  I made sure I packed all of the essentials:

  Comic books – Check.

  Snot and boogers for snacks – Check.

  Dirty underwear - Check

  Stinky feet spray – Check

  Zombie Diary (I mean Journal) – Check

  I also brought some climbing gear so I can go explore the Jungle temple with Steve.

  Man…This is going to be the best scarecation ever!

  Saturday

  By the time we arrived at the Jungle Biome, it was almost daytime.

  We went straight to the hotel to get some sleep and get ready for the next day.

  We’re staying at the Bat Cave Hotel.

  It’s dark, dingy and dirty – It’s awesome!

  Tomorrow were going to Creepy World. I’m going to meet all of the guys there.

  Right now I’m so excited I can’t even sleep.

  Tomorrow, I’m going to ride the Wicked Twister, the Head Ripper and I’m going to be the first in line for the Zombie Thrasher.

  I also can’t wait to go to the Haunted House!

  They say they have real humans there.

  Can’t wait!

  Sunday

  Man, today was the worst day ever!

  I can’t believe it, but my Mom and Dad made me go to “Zombie Kiddieland,” to spend time with my brother.

  “But Mom!” I said. “All of the guys are going to the amusement park to ride The Head Ripper and Zombie Thrasher! I’m going to miss it all.”

  “Well, if they’re your real friends they’ll wait till tomorrow to go with you.” She said. “Today we’re going to spend time together, and bond as a Zombie family should.”

  How could this happen?

  Everything was so perfect. Now my entire scarecation is ruined because my Mom and Dad want to “bond” as a family.

  This stinks.

  But, I guess it wasn’t all bad.

  Creepy’s family was in Zombie Kiddieland too.

  He doesn’t have a little brother. He’s just too scared of the big Zombie minecart rides.

  We did have fun riding on some of the kiddie rides.

  It kind of reminded me of when I was a kid and I used to go to the amusement park with Mom and Dad.

  Plus, it was kind of nice “bonding” with my Mom, Dad and little brother.

  It was lame…but nice.

  I guess I can wait one more day to spend
time with all the guys.

  And I know my friends, they wouldn’t go without me.

  I asked my mom to borrow her cellphone so I could call the guys to see what they were up to.

  “Don’t use it too long.” Mom said. “My Redstone battery is running out.”

  “Hello?” I said.

  All I could hear on the other end was, “WHOOOAAYYEEEAAAHHHH!!!!”

  “Skelee? Slimey? Where are you guys?” I said.

  ““WHOOOAAYYEEEAAAHHHH!!!!” They said. “DUDE, THIS IS AWESOME! THE ZOMBIE THRASHER IS THE BEST MINECART RIDE EVER!!!!! WE’LL CALL YOU BACK LATERWWHHHOOOAAAAAHHH!!!

  So much for loyalty…

  Monday

  The guys told me that since they went on the minecart rides like five or six times yesterday, they wanted to do something different today.

  I was bummed.

  But I felt better when the guys decided to go to the Haunted House.

  At least this way we can all go, even Creepy.

  I was a little worried for Creepy (and mostly for us). But Creepy said he brought his Liquid Nitrogen Inhaler in case he got nervous.

  The Haunted House didn’t look that creepy on the outside, but as soon as you walked inside, it was the scariest thing you ever saw.

  They were playing a scary movie called “Harry Potter” and it was the most terrifying thing I had ever seen.

  We walked into another room, and then a giant plant came out of the ground to chomp on Zombies as they walked through the room!

  It was the Zombie eating plant from that terrible video game Steve lent me.

  All of the guys and me were screaming like little girl Zombies.

  The only one who was surprisingly not affected was Creepy…

  I thought, man that Inhaler must be working!

  We walked into another room and there was a little Zombie girl sitting in the middle of the room playing with her dolls. Then when we got up close to her, she jumped at us…

  And she had a human face!!!!!!

  We were so scared we almost crushed each other as we tried to escape.

  The next room looked like an Insane Asylum, except there was blood everywhere and hooks hanging all over the place.

  Everything looked normal until…

  Two people came in, one looked like a Zombie doctor and the other a patient. The patient sat down in a chair, and then the doctor took out a drill…and…and…

  …The doctor started fixing the patient’s teeth!

  Scariest thing ever!

  The doctor started laughing, and when he took off his face mask, he had a human face!

  By this time I hurled all the cake I had eaten for lunch.

  Slimey broke into his medium Slimey bits after the first room, now he was down to his miniature Slimey bits…I’m not sure if he’ll be able to put himself back together after this one.

  The thing that sent Skelee over the edge was when he saw them putting skin back on one of the Skeletons…

  I’ve never seen Skelee that scared…I think that was his worst daymare come true.

  But Creepy…He just kept smiling and walking along. I could not understand what was up with him.

  The last room is going to haunt me for weeks…

  It was a mineshaft, full of Zombies, Skeletons and Creepers, just minding their own business, having some fun.

  All of a sudden, a bunch of diamond Miners with pickaxes and swords start attacking all of the mobs!

  Creepers are blowing up all over the place!

  Skeletons are getting cut down to pieces and dropping bones all over the place.

  The Skeletons are so freaked out they were accidentally shooting Creepers and blowing them up.

  There was rotten flesh, bones, music discs, and giant craters all over the place.

  By this time, we almost lost it…

  We ran out of there as fast as we could.

  I think I dropped some body parts behind because I felt lighter.

  I must’ve not been the only one, because outside of the Haunted house they had a Lost and Found for dropped items.

  There were Zombie body parts, bones, Slime bits, even music discs in there.

  And as we left the Haunted House, they played the theme from “Harry Potter.”

  I think that song is going to haunt me for weeks…

  Tuesday

  Today we went to the Jungle Jim part of the Jungle Biome.

  They had zip-lining, vine swinging, and climbing.

  Zip-lining is when you hold on to a pulley that rides a rope between trees.

  It was my favorite of all the Jungle Jim rides.

  But, boy, when Dad said puberty made you clumsy, he wasn’t kidding.

  I felt like I was all thumbs.

  Even the kid that had all thumbs did better than me.

  Skelee was a natural at it.

  Slimey, couldn’t get the hang of it. I still can’t understand why.

  But Creepy surprised us all. He was climbing and swinging, and riding the zip-line like if he grew up here.

  Which was really weird since he didn’t have any arms.

  Man…that Liquid Nitrogen Inhaler of his must be really working.

  Maybe I should borrow some.

  The guys got bored of the Jungle Jim, so they decided they wanted to climb the side of a mountain.

  I think they didn’t see the sign with the Zombie falling off the mountain…

  Now, climbing up mountains is a lot harder than it looks.

  There aren’t any ropes in case you fall, so it was real scary.

  Skelee got up the mountain in no time flat.

  Creepy got up the mountain real quick too.

  But even with my climbing shoes, I felt so clumsy up there.

  Uuuurrrrgghhh! I just couldn’t get the hang of it.

  Then I looked to the side of me and I saw Slimey, paralyzed with fear, stuck on a ledge.

  “I want to go home.” Slimey said crying.

  I felt really bad for him. Especially if he fell and broke into Slimey bits. I don’t think he would survive a fall from that height.

  “I’m coming over there buddy.” I said.

  I climbed over to where Slimey was and got a hold of him.

  But then I realized that I wouldn’t be much help with my terrible climbing skills. And Slimey being paralyzed with fear didn’t help either.

  All of a sudden, a bat came out of one of the holes in the mountain and it really scared Slimey.

  He jumped off the ledge…taking me with him!

  “AAAAHHHHH!!!!” We yelled.

  I knew I was a goner. My whole 12 year old life flashed before my eyes.

  Then, out of nowhere…

  Boing………. Boing……. Boing…… Boing, Boing, Boing!

  When we stop bouncing, I was still trying to make sense of what just happened.

  “Hey, wait a minute…I thought Slimes take serious fall damage?” I said.

  “Well, my Mom made me stuff Slime blocks in my parachute pants.” He said. “She was afraid I would fall off a mountain or something.”

  We looked at each other for a minute, then we burst out laughing.

  Next thing, I see Skelee jump off the top of the mountain…

  He lands right on Slimey’s parachute pants.

  Boing…………………….Boing…………..Boing…….Boing….Boing, Boing, Boing!

  “Man, this is fun!” Skelee says.

  Then I saw Creepy getting ready to jump off too.

  “Hey, get up quick, before Creepy jumps off.” I said.

  Inhaler or no inhaler, that was an experiment that I didn’t want to try...

  Wednesday

  Today my Dad planned for us to go on a Jungle Biome tour.

  I really wanted to go with my friends, but I promised my Dad.

  It was supposed to be a night trip into the Jungle Biome. Real Dad and son bonding type stuff.

  It sounded pretty lame, but it actually turned out to be pretty cool.


  Our first stop was to see the giant jungle trees. These things were huge.

  They had vines on them, so part of the tour we were able to climb them.

  I climbed all the way to the top of one and the view was epic!

  My Dad almost made it to the top but Mom called because my little brother got lost.

  Dad spent the entire time on the phone trying to calm her down.

  They finally found my little brother playing with the life-sized Elder Guardian character at the Zombie Kiddieland park.

  I could see the whole jungle from where I was.

  I could even see the Jungle Temple!

  That was good because I could give Steve directions when he gets here.

  After we climbed down, the tour was over. So we got some Cocoa Pods to take home as souvenirs, and we left.

  We bumped into an Ocelot, and I wanted to take him home. But Dad reminded me that Creepy was allergic to them, so I didn’t.

  Overall, it was really fun.

  I got some time to bond with my Dad, even though he was on the phone the whole time.

  Plus, I found the Jungle Temple, which is great because when Steve gets here, I’ll be ready.

  I can’t wait!

  Thursday

  Today I finally got a chance to go on the minecart rides at Creepy World.

  First ride I tried was the Head Ripper.

  It was so intense, a few Zombies got their heads ripped right off.

  It was awesome.

  One Zombie put his head on backward, and rode the Head Ripper again.

  Took his head clean off again, but backward.

  Man, I love minecart rides!

  Usually the heads just roll down a dumpster and mobs just pick them at the lost and found.

  But, one Zombie decided he would ride the Head Ripper standing on his head.

 

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