Tortured Soul

by Kirsty Dallas

  “Please, Shakhta,” she murmured. The submissive plea that left her lips caused a low growl to rumble from deep inside my chest.

  “What do you want, Malen’kaya?” I asked with a less than subtle urgency. My finger slipped deep into her body as my thumb rubbed her clit.

  “More, please.”

  I was more than happy to oblige and fucked her with my fingers. She was so warm and wet—I needed to be inside her—needed to feel this wet heat on my dick. I rolled to my back and dragged her soft body over mine. I grinned with male satisfaction when she protested at the loss of my fingers from her pussy. As I settled her over my hips, the warmth of her most intimate part pressed against my hard cock. I wanted to hold her down and claim her in the most basic and dominant way, but I managed to hold back, giving her plenty of room see and feel everything that was happening. When her fervent gaze settled on mine, she paused for a moment. With her flushed cheeks, her swollen and red lips, and her hair tangled around her face, she looked like a goddess. She was beyond beautiful, unquestionably the most stunning woman I had ever seen.

  “You are in control,” I reminded. Her nod was hesitant, her hands even more so as they slid up my stomach to rest on my chest. She moved her hips, and slid her wet pussy along my rigid shaft. I clenched my jaw with restraint. The need to take control was riding me hard, but I cared for this girl enough to allow her this. She leaned forward to kiss me, and her breasts pressed against my skin. My fists clenched demanding I reach for her, so instead, I raised my hands above my head and held onto the headboard tightly, which groaned under the pressure. When Emily sat back and noticed, her eyes flared with surprise.

  “You don’t want to touch me?” Her body stilled, and her eyes filled with concern.

  “More than anything, Malen’kaya, but his is about you taking control. You are the master now,” I smirked, “and you should take advantage of it. I doubt I will be able to concede control like this often.”

  She smiled as she moved her hips again and dug her fingernails into my chest. Her eyes roamed my body greedily. I could almost hear the wicked thoughts and possibilities unfolding in her mind. Reaching around behind her, she cupped my balls and rolled them in her hand. I almost came all over my stomach like an inexperienced teenager. She gently moved her hips again, sliding her pussy along my shaft, creating a friction that had my hips automatically seeking more. Her fingers continued to massage my balls as she rocked herself against me.

  “Condom?” she finally panted as her control began to slip away.

  I stilled, knowing very well I had ample condoms in the drawer beside me, but I wanted to feel her wrapped around my cock without the intrusive cover.

  “I’m clean. I was tested,” she quickly offered with a blush.

  “The only time I’ve gone without has been during long term relationships, and I’m tested regularly. I’m safe, Em.”

  She looked at me for a moment, our bodies so close to joining yet so far. “And I can’t get pregnant,” she murmured.

  Before I could let go of the headboard and reach out for her, she lifted her hips and positioned my cock at her entrance. Her eyes stayed on mine as she worked herself onto my length, far too slowly. The heat of her core sliding over my dick was like heaven and hell combined. It was so good I could stay like this forever, but so good I feared I would explode at any moment. Em paused before she raised her hips and slammed them down hard. There was no way I could contain the groan that spilled from my lips. I gripped the headboard tighter. As she threw her head back, her breasts arched forward. She continued to ride me hard and slow, and my hips thrust up to meet hers. She arched back a little more, giving me the most spectacular view of my glistening cock disappearing into her folds. Her movements gradually became faster, and when I finally dragged my eyes away from the sight of our joining, I noticed the frustration in her eyes.

  “I need to touch you.” I wasn’t asking for permission. It was merely a warning. Her nod was immediate. My hands gladly released the headboard and I sat up, bringing our eyes in line with each other. I grabbed her beautiful ass and pulled her down and forward in a way that I knew would create friction against her clit. Her hands wrapped around my neck and pulled me in for a firm kiss that I was happy to indulge her with.

  “Harder,” she whispered.

  I pulled her down again with more force. Her skin now glowed with a fine sheen of perspiration and I licked her shoulder, enjoying the salty taste of her on my tongue.

  “I need more,” she whimpered.

  Without hesitation or any thought of the consequences, I flipped her to her back, grabbed her wrists and pinned them down forcefully above her head. Her eyes flared with shock but I could also see the excitement in them. I held her gaze as I pushed my cock deep into her, over and over again. The slap of our flesh meeting filled the room. Emily’s naturally submissive body began to respond. Her breathing grew rapid as she demanded more, harder, faster. Finally, she arched her back and screamed out her release. The walls of her pussy clenched so tightly around my cock, my balls immediately tightened and I spilled inside her, growling into her neck as I did. My hips thrust forward a few more times, riding out the orgasm. When I could no longer move, I collapsed, barely holding my full weight off her. My face was resting in her neck, and I kissed the rapidly beating pulse there before raising my head.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, finding a shred of decency. I should have asked her several times by now, but in my greedy need, I was afraid she might say no.

  She looked a little surprised as she pushed the hair from my eyes. “I think so,” she admitted.

  I kissed her more gently than I had moments before. I licked her lips, tasted her tongue and reluctantly pulled away. I rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom to dampen a washcloth. When I came back into the bedroom, she still hadn’t moved. I sat beside her, gently pushed open her legs, and cleaned her with as much tender care as I could. I grinned at the blush that stained her cheeks. I threw the washcloth toward the bathroom door, not caring where it landed, and climbed back into bed beside her. Truth be told, now that the deed was done, I was more than a little worried. Sex for her had always been something to be afraid of, even ashamed of. Now that she had time to think about what had happened, would she regret it? Would she fear me? Opening my arms, she settled into my embrace, her head rested against my chest, right over my heart.

  “Braiden?” she whispered.

  “Yes, Em.”

  “Can we pretend that was my first time?”

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, savoring her uncertain words. “That was your first time, beautiful girl.” She turned her head so she could see my face. Her brows creased in confusion. I ran my thumb over the wrinkles in her forehead in an effort to smooth them out. “It was your first willing time. With Jonas it didn’t count, he deceived you. In all the ways that matter, this was your first time, Em.”

  She took my hand from her face and pressed a kiss to my fingers before turning her head and settling into my body as if she were made for it. While my conscience quietly scolded me for touching this fragile girl, my heart warmed for her. I had never needed a woman before. I had wanted them, I had desired them, but I’ve never found myself in a position of craving one on a soul deep level, until now. I ran my fingers through Em’s hair, knowing this brought her comfort. As a dominant male, I wanted to provide for the woman I was with. I wanted her pleasure to be first and foremost, I wanted her to be protected and happy. I wanted her to be strong enough to keep an arrogant male like myself in his place, and I knew in my heart Emily was strong enough. To have endured the life she had, to have survived, she had to have the heart of a lion and the soul of a warrior. Emily was everything I ever wanted and everything I hadn’t realized I needed. The thought of losing her was painful, and that’s how I knew this was more. These feelings, these needs, they were more than simple infatuation or desire. I didn’t know if they were love, but I knew I was prepared to fight for this girl, phy
sically and emotionally.

  ***

  A phone call just before dawn had me up well before Emily. Wrenching myself away from her beautiful, warm, peaceful body had been much harder than I thought. The early call had been from Alexander’s second, Dominic. Dragging me from the luxury of Emily’s body had me irritable. News that Jonas was alive and well in London had me confused on top of that. It just didn’t seem a likely scenario. Dominic’s source had been a meth laden arms dealer who had betrayed Alexander’s confidence. He was unreliable at best, and now anchored to a block of cement at the bottom of the Thames. My gut told me that Jonas had been in London at some point, but was more likely closer to Claymont now. I knew he would come for Em. Even if he sent Nate to collect her, I knew he couldn’t be too far away. A morning report with Bomber and Gabbie had taken less than half an hour, but several emails from Dillon kept me sequestered in the office for most of the morning. While I concentrated all my time and effort into protecting Emily and trying to find Jonas Levier, Montgomery Securities kept running and Dillon took the brunt of the work load. I spent the morning fulfilling orders for our state-of-the-art security system, and carefully sorting through emails requesting our security services, for anything from temporary bodyguard duties to missing person reports. To say our business was booming was an understatement. It was obvious we were going to have to hire more personnel and soon.

  Em remained absent all morning. Gabbie confirmed she was in her room reading. She seemed a little distant, but otherwise alright. Once I realized lunch had come and gone and I still hadn’t seen her, curiosity and concern got the better of me. Could touching her last night come back to bite me on the ass? I tapped quietly on her door. When there was no answer, I pushed it open and pulled up short when I noticed her sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. Her head rested against the wall, and her feet were tucked under her. She seemed so forlorn and lost. I wanted to rage like a mad beast. I wanted to beat the shit out of Jonas for filling her with this confusion and fear, but most of all I wanted to kick my own ass from here to eternity for being a selfish bastard and having sex with her when she obviously wasn’t ready. Taking a long deep breath, hoping this had nothing to do with last night, I reigned in my control. I approached her cautiously, and knelt down beside her. She didn’t move.

  “Em?” My voice was low and gentle. When she didn’t respond, I decided to be a little sterner. I was struggling to control my temper, so it wasn’t difficult to find my familiar commanding tone. “Em!” Her shoulders flinched, but she didn’t respond otherwise. With a heavy sigh, I reached for her face and forcibly drew her gaze to mine. “Tell me what’s going on.” It took all the control I possessed to gentle my voice, but the command was still there. Her eyes watched mine cautiously for the longest time and I never looked away. I wasn’t leaving until I fixed this, whatever this was. Likely sensing my determination, her shoulders slumped forward and her gazed lowered.

  “It’s nothing,” she whispered.

  Clearly this was a whole lot more than nothing and her reluctance to talk to me only pissed me off more.

  “Em, do I need to remind you of the importance of honesty and trust?”

  Her eyes darted to mine, defiance and anger burned behind them. “Don’t speak to me like I’m a child,” she snapped.

  I forced myself not to smile. I liked this attitude, this strength. I liked it a whole lot better than her misery. “Then try talking to me like an adult. You’re sitting in the corner of your room with your head against the wall. Clearly your idea of nothing is far different from mine.”

  She bit her bottom lip and eyed me with caution. “I didn’t want to see you this morning,” she admitted.

  My stomach sank as I realized this was about last night. “Why?” I tried to keep my voice neutral, but in the end I still growled at her, just with less gruffness than usual.

  “I was ashamed.”

  Her revelation wasn’t what I expected to hear. “Ashamed of what exactly, Malen’kaya?” I asked. I knew she was nervous about answering me; her eyes darted anxiously around the room, looking for a way to escape the moment of truth.

  “I needed you to hold me down before I could reach orgasm,” she finally breathed. Her eyes fluttered shut as if trying to block out the memory.

  A long breath of air escaped my own lips. She was worried about her slip into submissiveness, which at the time had sent me completely and utterly crazy with desire. This I could deal with. Her regretting my touch? I don’t think I could’ve handled that. Knowing very well this was an important issue for her, I refrained from beating my chest and grinning like an ass. My hand slipped from her face, down her shoulder and arm until finally resting on her hand. I gave it a tug and she came to me willingly as I pulled her onto my lap and sat with my back to the wall. Her tears were quiet, but I knew they were there.

  “Em, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Even with all that strength inside you, you are a naturally submissive woman. I have no doubt that if you hadn’t been taken by Jonas at such a young age and conditioned to this lifestyle, you would have slipped into it beautifully.” She pulled away, the hurt in her eyes palpable. “Not as a slave,” I quickly corrected myself. “Not like that, Em. But sexually you enjoy letting a man take control, you enjoy the domination, and that would have been there with or without Jonas’ interference.” She looked doubtful as she watched me. “I’m good at reading people, Em. You are a beautiful, strong-willed woman who just wants a man who can give you what you need. Obeying a dominant man, allowing him to take charge is not a weakness. In fact, it takes incredible strength to allow someone in like that. For a man to experience a strong woman like you, become so exquisitely submissive, by her own choice mind you, is more appealing than you can possibly understand.” A small sniffle reminded me that regardless of this woman’s inner strength, she was walking a tight-rope of emotions right now and could tumble any moment. “You should never feel ashamed of the things you want, Em. Don’t let Jonas carve away your heart now that you’re free of him. Anything you do now, whether it be an act of submission or otherwise, is your choice.”

  She looked so frightened when she glanced up at me again. “What if I can’t be what you want? What you need?”

  I smiled as I cupped her cheek. “Did it occur to you that I could be what you want and what you need?”

  “I don’t want to disappoint you,” she whispered.

  I pressed my lips hard to her forehead and held her there for the longest time. How could she possibly think she could disappoint me? I had to remind myself that the men in her life thus far had treated her worse than an animal. She had never been shown love. She’d only been frequently reminded of her failures and faults.

  “It is just not possible for you to disappoint me, Em. I want to give you whatever you need, and if you’re not sure what that is, then I’m prepared to give you time to figure it out.”

  Her entire body seemed to collapse into my embrace, all her tension gone. Her arms wrapped around my neck and held me so tight I was afraid she might hurt herself.

  “Have you been hiding in here all morning worrying about this?” I asked. She nodded against my chest. “No more, Em. If something is bothering you, I want you to come to me. If you don’t want to come to me, go to someone else. Rebecca, Larz, even Gabbie. Bottling it up until you are incoherent in the corner of the room isn’t good for you.” She tried to pull away again under my terse command. “Hey,” I chastised gently, not letting her go, “I’m not angry with you, and there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m just worried about you, and after last night I was worried I might have hurt you.”

  Emily shook her head. “You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t leave a mark on my skin.”

  “Not physically,” I corrected her.

  “You didn’t hurt me,” she said with a small growl.

  I grinned at the slight show of defiance. “So, did anything about last night upset you or bother you?” I pushed. I needed to know my lim
its. Even though I knew she found pleasure in our sexual encounter, I needed to hear from her lips that it was acceptable.

  “No,” she admitted and after a short pause, “I liked it, being dominated.”

  I nodded in agreement. I knew she enjoyed that. “Did you feel frightened at any time?”

  “No, you probably even could have...” she trailed off, her eyes wandering to the windows.

  “Could have what, Em?” I pressed.

  “You could have done more,” she murmured.

  I wasn’t sure what ‘more’ entailed, but it intrigued me immensely. “More how?” She fidgeted in my lap, and I tried desperately to control the twitch in my dick as her beautiful ass pressed against me.

  “Harder and faster, I guess. The way you restrained my hands was okay. I trusted you to let go if I asked. But at the same time I wanted more.” She shrugged.

  Well, so much for containing my hard-on. “So, light restraints are a possibility. Harder, faster...” I loved that she blushed. She didn’t seem to have any aversion to nudity, and I had no doubt her sexual encounters were vast and many, but her awkwardness at our private conversation was endearing. “I can work with that. One day at a time, Em. We’ll figure all this out together. There are no safe words; you have only to say no and we stop. But you have to promise to communicate with me. We need to talk like this if we want to figure out where we go from here.” She nodded in agreement.