Miles

by H. J. Bellus

  “Thank you, Miles,” she whispers, and places a quick, gentle kiss on my lips.

  Nodding my head, I whisper back into her lips, “You got this, babe.”

  Willow places her hands on both sides of my cheeks and whispers right back, “Only because I have you.”

  Leaving that truck was the hardest thing I’ve had to do to date. I go grab Annie out of the car, and help the girls in with all their goods. Annie knew something was wrong, and asked me a couple times if her Aunt Wils was okay. Learning from Willow, I have perfected the art of distracting Annie. Her new favorite thing is her loom. I convinced her to take her new bracelet rubberband combo killing looping machine into the living room with her new bands she got in town today to give me a chance to talk with Lacey and Milly.

  “So, what happened?” Milly asks.

  “I don’t know the full story yet. I went to The Shop after work to pick Willow up for our date and the place was trashed. I mean she tore the fuck out of the place. Shredded it. I couldn’t find her and panicked. I called Tripp and we ended up finding her at the pond.”

  “You know, then,” Lacey whispers.

  “I know.”

  “Miles, I don’t know you very well, but I can tell you this one very important thing. Nothing is more degrading than the moment when the love of your life finds out your deepest, darkest secret. Nothing, and I mean nothing, cuts deeper than that wound. If your love has the strength to heal, then I can tell you that you won’t discover any prettier scar than that wound,” Lacey says.

  Burying my face into my hands, I break down right in front of the girls with all my manly pride disappearing.

  “I can’t lose her. I can’t. I’ve never had anything in my life worth fighting for until Willow.”

  The words are so true they haunt me to my depths because I know I have to tell her the truth soon, and my own words will crush her again. But the thing that really pisses me off is what I have to tell her isn’t even my fault…sometimes I really fucking hate the life God handed me.

  Chapter 9

  New Chapter

  Willow

  The night Miles saved me was the lowest part of my life. And you know what they say when you’re at the lowest part of your life…there’s only one way to go. On a daily basis I have been scratching, clawing, and kicking my way up. The drive with my brothers was hell on Earth. I was forced to say things that I never thought I would be able to. The only reason I was able to speak those words was the promise that Miles made me.

  The circumstances of our childhood never allowed us to bond as siblings. We were forced to live as cousins with Tripp. Even though he visited us during the summer, we truly didn’t know him as brothers and sisters should. Tripp was robbed of having a father figure, and at the same time our daddy was robbed of knowing one of the greatest men to walk the Earth. A person could go on for ages about how life has mistreated and played unfair with them, but long story short, we have what we’re dealt and need to travel down the most desirable path life has to offer. And that night in Cree’s truck on a back dirt road, we all shared our paths and promised each other to stay true to our own unique individual paths. Some say moments like these are magical, but I think Daddy finally lined the stars up for his three children.

  Since that night, Miles and I spend more and more time at Tripp’s house with the rest of the family. I continue to work my thoughts and feeling out in my notebook as my daily therapy. But it’s not only the notebook that continues to heal me, it’s Miles. He loves it when I read it to him at night. We have promised ourselves to each other, and I can even call him my boyfriend. To say Annie is ecstatic about me having a boyfriend is an understatement. She begged Miles to come in for her show and tell last week, and he did. He even googled a couple magic tricks to show her class. Miles is just one big goofy kid in an adult’s body.

  Tonight is family game night and pizza at Tripp and Lacey’s. I escaped the slaughter (some call playing it board games), but with my family it’s like a complete war. Everything starts out fine, but then the discrepancy in rules comes, then comes Tripp’s law and then Lacey throwing a huge fit, and finally Cree throwing his cards, saying “Fuck this shit.”

  I volunteered to hold Rose and entertain the other kids while I sent Miles into the lion’s den to fend for himself. The problem with Miles is that he loves to instigate Lacey. He knows exactly how to get her fired up and on a roll. Everyone in the family knows exactly what he’s doing, except for Lacey. I give them about another ten minutes before the fur flies.

  “Hey, Aunt Wils,” Annie asks from the floor.

  She’s playing with Mac and his trucks and tractors. I also give them approximately ten minutes before fur flies. Rose and I seem to be the only safe occupants of the house, nestled down in Tripp’s big recliner. The sweet little bugger is passed out, all bundled up in her blanket. I have never seen a chubbier baby with wild blonde hair spraying in all directions.

  “What, baby?” I respond to Annie.

  “Um, I am NOT a baby.”

  “Oh, excuse me. What, Annie?” I chuckle at her insistence on being a big kid. Hell, I forgot she is practically a teenager at the ripe old age of seven.

  “What do you think we should be for Halloween? I mean, I want an epic costume this year.”

  Oh, dear lord. Halloween. This family and that holiday is going to be the death of me. Cree and Milly consider Halloween their first date a couple years ago, and worship it like no other. I’m actually surprised nothing has been said until now. Milly rules with an absolute iron fist when it comes to Halloween. You better abide by all costume specifications or she’ll go bat shit crazy on you. Last year, I was lucky enough to escape it.

  “Annie, you know that I have nothing to do with Halloween or the costumes, but I’m sure your momma will get you the best one ever.”

  Annie makes her way over to the recliner and starts to climb up in it.

  “Shh. Rose is sleeping.”

  I hold my hand out to her and hoist her up. Little monkey follows suit. Mac does everything Annie does.

  “Help your brother up here.”

  Mac knows no bounds and plops himself right between Rose and Annie and wiggles right down.

  “Well, do you have any ideas, at least?”

  “I’m not touching this topic with a ten foot pole, Annie.”

  “Ideas about what?” Milly asks as she enters the living room with Cree.

  “Card game over?” I ask.

  “Yeah, Lacey just threw Kool-Aid at Miles. Tripp is getting him a new shirt,” Cree responds, and jumps on the couch.

  “What topic are you not touching, Willow?”

  “Halloween, Momma. What are we dressing up as?”

  “Yeah, what are we dressing up as, Hitler?” Lacey directs her question right at Milly as she plops on the couch with Cree and Milly.

  Cheesus, she has the same bubble breaking issue as toddler Mac.

  “You guys act like I’m the ruler of Halloween. It’s not my fault that I have the best taste and eye for design in the family.”

  No one dares respond to Milly.

  “Why the silence?” Tripp asks as he enters with Miles behind him in a clean shirt.

  Miles bends over and kisses my forehead. “Love you, crazy girl.”

  “Hear things got a little sticky in there,” I giggle.

  “Dude, Lacey is bat shit crazy,” he responds, and picks up Mac and throws him on his shoulders.

  “Unky, I want to know what our Halloween costumes are going to be. And everyone is basically ascared of my momma and won’t say anything.”

  Nothing like sugarcoating the situation. Annie gets the whole room caught up to speed in less than five seconds.

  “It’s not true. Nobody’s afraid of me. Right, Lacey?”

  Lacey just grins.

  “Okay fine. Everyone throw their ideas out and we’ll vote.”

  Silence. No one dares suggest anything.

  “Why won’t anyone talk?”
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  Lacey finally throws her hands up in the air. “Because our ideas will instantly be shot down by you, and maybe we genuinely want to dress up in that costume, but no, because you can’t be all matchy matchy and cute you won’t let us, and that’s why, you little hoochie.”

  “Jesus Christ! Leg wrestle it out, girls, and get over it,” Tripp finally says.

  “What?” we all question in unison.

  “We used to do it on the baseball team all the time. When there was an argument or disagreement going on, we would leg wrestle. The winner took all. Pride, bragging rights, and whatever the fuck they were arguing over.”

  “Mouth, Unky,” Annie says.

  “Yeah, watch your bleepin’ bleepity mouth, Beast,” Lacey taunts him.

  “Leg wrestle. Leg wrestle. Leg wrestle,” Miles starts chanting from the living room floor. He’s laying on his belly lining up race cars with Mac.

  Annie joins in on the chant, along with the rest of us. Milly and Lacey instantly start poking and prodding at each other and see that little light fire up in Lacey’s eyes. She wants this win badly.

  “Pipe it down,” Tripp roars. “Winner takes all. We’ll do this bracket tournament style with a single loss elimination. You three girls will settle this here on the floor. What happens in leg wrestling fight club, stays here, dies here.” He finishes all dramatic and flips his ball cap on backwards.

  “What do you mean, ‘you three girls’? I have nothing to do with this. I don’t care who dresses up and what they dress up as,” I declare.

  “C’mon, baby. You have to get in on this,” Miles encourages from the other side of the room.

  “No. Absolutely not.”

  “So, you all realize whoever wins this tournament or festival or whatever the hell you’re calling it is deciding ALL OF OUR costumes. Right?” Cree clarifies.

  “That’s right. Game on, losers,” Tripp pipes up.

  Oh, and here comes Tripp’s competitive athlete side matched with Lacey’s fiery attitude. This is destined to be an event to remember.

  “Last chance, sis,” Cree says.

  “I’m out. I’m good with whatever.”

  “You’ll think that when you have to dress up as a Smurf,” Milly says.

  “It’s okay, Willow. I already have a blue body part.” Miles chuckles.

  “Miles!” I squeal and throw a pillow at him.

  “What’s blue, Miles?” Annie asks.

  Annie’s question is quickly skipped over and Tripp lines the girls up on the floor on their backs, hip to hip. He instructs them on how to raise their legs and the official count he’ll use. He then gets down in Lacey’s face and gives her an extra pep talk. Cree does the same for Milly, and then both men step back and let Annie do the official countdown.

  “On my count, ladies. One, two, three,” she sings.

  With each word, the girls raise their legs, and on three they let it rip. Lacey hooks Milly’s leg first and looks to have the clear advantage, but Milly battles back for a couple seconds before Lacey uses all her force to whip Milly over in defeat.

  “Lacey wins,” Annie squeals.

  Tripp victory dances and Milly tit punches Lacey. Then the real war breaks out because the whole family, with the exception of the two real ladies, joins in on the wrestling match. As for the two real ladies in the family, we keep our front row seat in the recliner and enjoy the show.

  ***

  “You’re the sexiest Dalmatian I have ever seen,” Miles says as he wraps his arms around me from the back.

  Lacey won the leg wrestling tourney and it was declared the winner would reign on everything this Halloween. Lacey picked the theme and let Milly have her hand at decorating us all. Lacey picked the 101 Dalmatians theme, with her being Cruella and the rest of us puppies. It was actually a comical sight, seeing all of us together walking down Main Street trick or treating.

  As tradition has it, we are all now at the harvest festival at the town lake. Food booths, a bonfire, loud music, and dance floor envelop the scene. We have staked a claim on a piece of prime property, as Lacey puts it. I guess it’s prime because we’re in perfect walking distance to all the food booths and have a front row seat to the dance floor.

  Milly made us girls tutus, headbands, and all matching leggings for our costumes, and Lacey insisted that her puppies all have pig tails finished off with big red bows. I finally drew the line at face painting, and told them they could kiss my fat ass. Shockingly enough, the girls backed down without a fight. I think they were impressed with as much as they got out of me.

  “I never knew a tutu could be so fucking hot,” Miles growls, and starts to kiss my neck.

  “Easy, Fido! Your bone is gonna spring to life.”

  “Willow, I have a constant boner around you.”

  I lay my head back on his shoulder, allowing him to devour me and giggle. “Miles, I’m sorry…”

  “Willow, I told you to stop saying that. When you’re ready and only then.”

  Annie squeals to high hell before I realize that I’m being drug out onto the dance floor. Our song was playing, and all of us girls were cutting loose on the dance floor. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” is our song, our thing, and the symbol of our undying bond to each other.

  The last time we danced to this song was in Rose’s nursery before she was born, and it was also the same day Greyson gave me the check to get rid of our problem. He even had the balls to follow me to Lacey’s house. The girls had no clue what was going on then, but they sensed it was bad.

  I refuse to let the memories of that horrible day ruin this moment and this song. Grabbing Annie, I twirl around the dance floor a couple of times before I snag Mac out of Milly’s arms. Yeah, the poor guy isn’t a girl, but he’ll always be a part of our insta-dance parties. Lacey had a tight grip on Rose. This dance is very symbolic for many reasons for all of us.

  Lacey never wanted friends or a family for that matter, and when she was given the chance she was scared to death, but accepted both with an open, but frightened heart. Me, on the other hand, I felt I would never be loved or deserved to be loved after that day in the nursery, and here I stand filled to the brim with love from the man of my dreams and my sweet, sweet family.

  By the end of the song, we were all in a circle, dancing and laughing. The crowd started cheering, and we realized we were the only ones on the dance floor, and we had drawn a huge crowd.

  “Let’s hear it for the Fitzpatrick girls and Macster,” the deejay booms. “We have one very special dedication going out to Willow from your main man, Miles.”

  I slap my hands over my mouth in surprise and sheer embarrassment as the rest of the girls disperse to the side of the dance floor. I’m not the girl who gets the attention, the roses, and the special shows from her boyfriends. No, I’m used to being the closet child, and by damn if Miles isn’t breaking down every single one of those barriers.

  Mr. Big starts to sing “To Be With You” and I can’t help the friggin’ school girl smile that spreads across my face. Then I see my puppy snaking his way out to me. Even in his Dalmatian get-up he is hot as sin. Miles throws his arms in the air and starts swaying to the music, encouraging the crowd to clap to the beat. And what do I do? I stand here frozen with my mouth gaping open at the scene playing out in front me.

  When he closes in on me, he grabs me around the waist and keeps his sexy swaying to the music.

  “Miles, I don’t dance sexy. I don’t have sexy,” I whisper to him and bury my face in his chest and let him guide me to the music.

  “Crazy girl, you are so fucking sexy.”

  Miles takes a little step back and sinks down to his knees in front of me, and starts belting out the words and holding his hands up to me in surrender. The gesture is so picture perfect, but I feel completely naked without him covering my body.

  “Oh. My. God. Miles. Get up now,” I beg between my giggles of embarrassment.

  He climbs back up to his feet, not missing a sway or swirl with h
is freakin’ hips against my body.

  “Move with me, baby,” he hisses.

  I let myself relax into Miles and let him literally sweep me off my feet. I allow myself to get lost in his touch, scent, and this moment.

  “I am the one,” he whispers down into my hair.

  And just as dramatic as it started, Miles finishes it off by dipping me back and laying a big old wet sloppy kiss on me. The crowd really erupts this time and I don’t hide from it. I kiss Miles right back when he pulls me back up.

  We easily dance away the next hour. Some dances we have visits from Annie, Mac, and Rose. I even dance with Cree. Back in the day we were the country swinging champions. Miles starts to lead us back to our blanket to finally grab dinner and sort through the kids’ candy when I hear it. I instantly freeze, tugging on Miles’ hand, as the sound of his laughter threatens to puncture a hole in my healing heart.

  “Willow, what’s wrong?” Miles turns to ask.

  “Jesus Christ. Willow, keep walking,” Cree says as he slams into the back of me.

  I feel Mac’s head bonk into the back of mine, and then I hear him cry as the dull pain begins to throb in the back of my head.

  “Sorry, Sorry,” I say, and keep walking.

  I don’t stop to find him or her. I just bee line it for the blanket, only focusing in on my family.

  “Come here, little man. I’m sorry we bonked. Here, let’s get you a sucker,” I say as I take Mac.

  “He’s here,” I hear Tripp tell the guys, who are huddled together just off the blanket.

  Trying to distract Miles from the conversation they’re having, I ask, “Will you go get us some food? I’m starving.”