by C. Coal
Each night she felt closer to him. Each night she stayed just a little bit longer, stood just a little bit closer to him as they talked. Until the night his hand touched hers and she felt a thrill up her spine like she hadn’t felt in all the years since she’d been with him.
She stepped back, suddenly tense. “So, how’s Mandy Rogers these days? She’s still around, isn’t she? You guys reconnect when you came back to town? Pick up where you’d left off last time I saw you?”
Brian glared into the corner, Jackson crying softly up at him, arms crossed tight across his chest. “You know, Carrie, sometimes people make mistakes. That doesn’t make them bad people.”
“Is that what that was? A mistake?”
“Yeah. I was foolish enough to let Mandy Rogers get me alone and it cost me…” He shook his head, his nostrils flaring.
“You didn’t just let her get you alone, Brian. You were half-naked when I found you together.”
Jackson’s whining increased, his tail thumping against the floor as he looked back and forth between them.
“Look, Carrie. I will never be able to convince you that you didn’t see what you thought you did that night. But I’m going to tell you this anyway. I did not kiss Mandy Rogers. She kissed me. And you want to know what’s really messed up about it?” He stepped closer. “I’m pretty sure she planned the whole thing. Because she kissed me about half a second before you opened that door. And after you ran away crying? She laughed.”
Carrie frowned at him. “You expect me to believe it was all her? You were alone in a bedroom together. And I saw…”
“You saw what you wanted to see.”
“If that’s true, why didn’t you tell me that at the time?”
“Because you wouldn’t speak to me. I tried, Carrie, but you wanted nothing to do with me.” He handed her Jackson’s leash. “I always thought you were the love of my life, but that night proved to me that what I thought we had obviously wasn’t as strong as I thought it was. Because if it had been, you would’ve at least listened to my side of things.”
He left, slamming the door behind him.
Jackson stared up at her with his sad green eyes, whining softly.
She bit her lip, staring at the door for a long moment, but finally turned for the exit. “Come on, bud. Let’s go.”
* * *
As she drove home, Carrie kept replaying that night over and over again in her head. It had been the summer before her junior year. They’d all been at Doug’s cabin at the lake for the weekend. There had to’ve been a good twenty or thirty kids there swimming and hanging out.
Somehow, Carrie and Brian had gotten separated. She remembered now that Mandy’s best friend, Chelsea, had pulled her aside, crying over how Doug was flirting with some other girl.
Carrie shook her head, remembering how important it had all seemed back then. Poor Chelsea. She’d let the girl pull her away from where she’d been sitting down by the lake shore with Brian and his friends, giving her a shoulder to cry on like she always had for everyone.
They were probably gone a good half hour and when she went back, no Brian in sight.
She hadn’t thought much of it, but she had gone looking for him. Chelsea went with her, saying she couldn’t stand the sight of Doug getting all cozy by the bonfire with the new girl.
They’d checked for Brian in the main room, but no one had seen him. Carrie had been about to head back down to the lake, but Chelsea asked her to come with her real quick to fetch something from upstairs.
She hadn’t even realized at the time how loud Chelsea was talking, but looking back on it now, she did. Brian was right. Chelsea must’ve been in on it. She must’ve known exactly where Mandy and Brian were and talked just loud enough to let Mandy know they were coming.
Carrie forced herself to relive those last few moments. The horrible feeling of betrayal when Chelsea opened the door and they saw Mandy and Brian kissing, both of them half-naked.
But it wasn’t what it had seemed, was it? Because Brian had been running around in swim trunks all day and Mandy had been wearing just a teensy little bikini top with her jean shorts. And that’s exactly what they’d been wearing when she found them.
Which meant it could’ve happened the way he’d said it had.
And he was right. She’d never given him a chance to explain. She’d been so insecure back then, so worried that she didn’t deserve him and that he was going to leave her now that he’d graduated, that she’d immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion.
It didn’t help that Mandy had been flirting with him outrageously for weeks or that Chelsea had made a few comments about how Carrie would understand her Doug situation because Brian was always all over Mandy.
Even though he really hadn’t been. He’d just been too nice a guy to tell her to go away.
As Carrie pulled into the driveway at home, she wondered how different things would’ve been if that night had never happened. She would’ve probably never left home, never gone to college, never found a new life in the city. She and Brian would’ve gotten married way too young and had kids way too young. Who knows where they’d be now? Happily married? Or bitterly divorced?
She didn’t regret the path her life had taken. It had been good for her to see the world. See what else was out there beyond her small patch of America. She’d even traveled through Europe one summer and dated a guy from Canada for a few months.
But…
But she’d never found another guy like Brian and she probably never would. He’d been the one for her.
And she’d let some jealous, manipulative brat ruin it.
Maybe Brian was right. Maybe what they’d had wasn’t that strong after all. Look how easily it had been broken.
Jackson whined softly and she ruffled his ears. “Sorry, bud. Just a little lost in my thoughts. Let’s get you inside.”
* * *
She couldn’t sleep that night, so she was curled up on the couch watching some ridiculous rom-com when the phone rang.
She frowned, wondering who on earth was calling her at two in the morning. Her first thought, irrational as it was, was that it was Brian calling to…something. Not apologize, but maybe talk?
But then she realized it had to be the rehab center and lunged for the phone. “Hello?”
“Carrie Clopper?”
“Yes. Who is this?” She felt like her chest was going to explode she was so tense with worry.
“It’s Nurse Blair down at the Pine Ridge Rehab Center?”
“Mmhm. And? Why are you calling so late at night?”
“Well, dear, I don’t want you to worry…”
Carrie rolled her eyes. Too late for that.
“But we found your mother passed out in her bathroom.”
“Passed out? Aren’t you supposed to be watching her?”
“We do, but we can’t be everywhere at once. Residents are supposed to call for us if they want to use the restroom so we can shadow them there and back, but it seems your mother tried to go herself, and it didn’t work out so well.”
“That’s an understatement. Is she okay?” Carrie gripped the blanket with her free hand, silently praying that her mother was alright.
“Well, it’s hard to say right now. We called an ambulance and they’re just now taking her over to the ER to check her out. I’m sure they’ll know more soon.”
“Why did you have to call an ambulance?” Jackson had woken up and was watching her through the bars of his crate, whining softly.
She sat down next to the crate and reached through the bars, letting him lick her fingers, taking comfort in the fact that she wasn’t alone.
“It’s standard in a situation like this.”
“But you’re across the street.”
“I know. But, we couldn’t just carry her across ourselves. It seems strange, I know, but that’s just the way it’s done. Anyway. She’s on her way there now and I’d suggest you get there as soon as you can.”
“Is she going to die?” She shivered, thinking about it.
The nurse paused, and Carrie curled up, clutching her knees to her chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not so soon after she’d lost her father…
“I don’t think so, no. But I don’t want to tell you she isn’t and then it turns out there was more to that fall than it seems. So, you could wait until the morning and she might be just fine, but…better to come now. Just in case.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Carrie’s voice quavered as she hung up the phone.
She sat there in the dark, rocking back and forth. She’d never felt so alone before. She desperately wanted someone to hold her and tell her it was all going to be okay, but there wasn’t anyone to do that for her. She was all alone.
Jackson nudged his nose through the bars of the crate and licked her ear, whimpering softly. She smiled slightly as she scratched his chin. “At least I’ve got you, bud.”
* * *
Reluctantly, Carrie dialed the number for The Pampered Pooch. Brian had told her they always had someone on call and that she shouldn’t hesitate to reach out if something happened with her mom, but she still didn’t like the idea of calling the place in the middle of the night no matter how nice everyone there was.
The phone rang four times before she heard a groggy man’s voice answer. “Hello? The Pampered Pooch. How can I help you?”
“Brian, is that you?”
“Yeah, yeah. Carrie?” With each word he sounded more awake and focused. “What’s happened? How’s your mom?”
“I don’t know. They said she’d fainted in the bathroom and they called for an ambulance.”
“What?”
“The nurse said she’d probably be fine, but she told me I should get to the hospital. Just in case.” She felt so small, so scared, saying the words out loud.
“Just in case what?” He sounded wide awake now. Angry, even.
“I don’t know. I guess, in case, she…” Carrie couldn’t finish the sentence past the tears choking the back of her throat.
“I’ll be right over.”
“What? No. I was just calling to see if I could bring Jackson to you. I’m not sure how long I’ll be at the hospital and don’t want to leave him here alone.”
“I live just around the block.”
“Then let me bring him to you.”
“Nope. Just hang tight. I’ll be there in less than ten minutes.”
Before she could argue further, he’d hung up the phone.
* * *
Carrie spent the next nine minutes pacing the living room, wondering if she should just leave a note on the door. Her mom still kept the spare key in the same place she had ten years before and she knew she could trust Brian to let himself in and take care of the place. But a small part of her also wanted to see him if just for a moment, to draw on that strength of his before she had to go face another hospital room and another parent in an uncertain condition.
His truck pulled into the driveway right at the ten minute mark.
He wasn’t alone.
She could see the silhouette of someone else in the passenger’s seat. Great. Just what she needed—to meet his probably picture-perfect girlfriend. Because she knew he had to have one. A guy like Brian wouldn’t be single for long in a small town like this.
She tried to hide her surprise when a man stepped out of the passenger’s side door, but must’ve failed miserably because Brian laughed softly as he met her at the door.
“This is Chad. A buddy of mine from college. He’s staying with us for a few weeks. I roped him into coming along so he could watch Jackson for you.”
“What? Why can’t you watch him?”
Brian gently pulled her away from the door and towards the truck. “Because I have to drive you to the hospital. Are these your keys?” He pulled the keys from her grasp as he led her towards the car. “You have your purse?”
She nodded.
“Anything Chad should know?”
She shook her head as she glanced back at him. “Jackson…”
Chad grinned. “We’re good buddies. I’ve been helping with his training. Don’t worry. I’ll keep him company until morning and then take him in with me when I go to work.” He looked to Brian. “I’ll let ‘em know you’ll be there when you’ll be there?”
Brian nodded.
“Alrighty then. Hope it’s all okay.”
And with that Chad disappeared into the house and Brian led her to the passenger side door of her own car. “You need me to buckle you in?” he asked, holding the door open for her.
“What? No. No, I can do it.” As she fastened the seat belt and waited for him to walk back around the car, she wondered why he was doing this. She appreciated it—sitting in a hospital waiting room was horrid enough without having to do it alone—but why would he do that for her?
As he started the car and drove towards the hospital, she finally got up the nerve to ask him.
He shrugged one shoulder. “I didn’t figure you’d be in any sort of state to drive yourself and didn’t want to see you get hurt on the way there. And it’s the least I could do for your mom after all she’s done for me over the years.”
Carrie nodded. Of course. It was because of her mom. She stared out the window, wanting to smack herself upside the head. Here they were, headed to the hospital where her mother was hopefully not dying and she was trying to figure out whether a guy she’d turned her back on almost a decade ago still had feelings for her.
Fool.
* * *
The hospital stood in the middle of darkness, surrounded by flat prairie land, the emergency entrance glowing with neon-bright signage. There was one ambulance pulled up outside, but the parking lot was empty. When they walked inside no one was even at the reception desk.
Carrie pushed the buzzer to call someone and paced restlessly back and forth, waiting for them to show.
Brian stood calmly by the counter, watching her.
“What?” she snapped.
“Nothing.”
“I’m allowed to pace. My mom could be dying back there.”
He nodded, but didn’t say anything else.
Finally, a young woman who looked vaguely familiar stepped up behind the reception desk. “Can I help you?” she asked, glancing between them with a friendly smile.
“I’m here to see my mother. Elaine Clopper. They brought her over from the rehab center probably an hour ago.” She chewed on her thumbnail as she watched the woman.
“Ah, Carrie. Thought you looked familiar. Kelly Nichols. I was two years behind you.”
Carrie nodded, impatient with the small-town niceties. “Kelly Nichols. Right. You played volleyball with me. Thought you looked familiar.”
Kelly nodded. “I was on JV, but yeah.” She darted a glance at Brian before continuing. “Um, they have your mom stabilized, so I can take you back there if you’d like and get Dr. Rose to fill you in.”
“That’s be great. Thanks.”
Kelly nodded towards a set of wide doors to the side of the reception desk. “Just hit the button there and I’ll show you where to go.”
She led them past a handful of rooms, all empty, until they reached one at the end of the hall that had the now-familiar beeping sound of hospital machinery. Carrie wrinkled her nose at the coppery tang of blood on the air, but didn’t comment.
Her mom was leaning back against the pillows, looking exhausted, her cheeks sunken inward, her hands more wrinkled than Carrie had ever seen them.
“Mom?” she asked softly, horrified by her mother’s sudden decline.
“Oh, Honey, you didn’t have to come. What time is it?”
“Late. And, yes, I did. The nurse wasn’t sure how you were when she called.”
Her mother leaned back into the pillows, closing her eyes once more. “Well, as you can see, I’m just fine.”
“Mom…Why the bag of blood there next to the bed?”
She shrugged slightly. “I had a bit of bl
ood loss.”
Just then an older man with graying hair and deep bags under his eyes, wearing a white doctor’s coat over blue scrubs came into the room. “You had more than a bit, Elaine. Is it okay if I talk to your daughter about what happened tonight?”
Her mother pressed her lips tight together but she nodded.
“Good. We’ll just be out here. Let you keep resting up.”
“Joy.” Her mother closed her eyes once more.
As soon as they were in the hallway, the doctor introduced himself and shook their hands. He nodded to Carrie. “Now, you’re her daughter…” He turned to Brian. “And you are?”
“A friend. I can step aside if you want to talk in private.”
Carrie grabbed his arm. “No. Stay. Please?”
The doctor shrugged and proceeded to tell them what had happened. It seemed her mother had developed some sort of internal bleeding and had started throwing up blood. That’s what had driven her to the bathroom without any assistance.
“We’re not sure at this point if she fainted because of the blood loss or because she hit her head on something in the bathroom while she was throwing up or what exactly happened. So we’re going to hold onto her for at least a day to see if she shows any signs of a concussion and to get her red blood count back up. We’ve already given her three liters of blood and I expect she’ll need a few more before all’s said and done.”
“Is it serious? Is she going to be okay?”
“Yes to both of those. She’s lost a lot of blood and that can be serious, but I think we have a handle on it now and she should pull through just fine. But the next twenty-four hours will require a lot of monitoring to make sure nothing else is wrong. We’ll also probably want to get in there and take a look to see if we missed something from the accident.”
“What do you mean? Get in there and take a look? Are you going to cut her open?” Carrie grabbed Brian’s hand, desperate for some sort of lifeline.
“No. We’ll just run some scans, maybe do a scope. I don’t imagine we’ll need to cut her open, as you put it, unless we find something unexpected. Now, she’s going to be transferred up to the main hospital in the next half hour or so and you can stay around to see she’s settled, but then I suggest you head home for the night.”