by Jen Wilde
I don’t know what to say, and even if I did, I don’t think I’d be able to say it.
Her words have changed me, sparked something in me that I didn’t know was there before.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
I nod and try to smile to reassure her.
“Listen,” she says. “Everyday things can be harder for us, but that doesn’t make us wrong or less than others. It took me a long time and a lot of self-loathing to learn that. Everyone has their strengths. And everyone has their kryptonite.”
My throat aches from crying, so I just nod and whisper, “Thank you.”
I buy the graphic novel, and Josie signs it for me. Then she reaches into her handbag and pulls out a card. “Here, this has all my deets on it. E-mail, Twitter, Tumblr, Insta, et cetera. I hope you stay in touch.”
“I will.” I give her my social media handles so we can follow each other.
Jamie walks over, carrying a bag full of comics. “There you are!”
I show him Valentina, pointing to the part where it says she’s autistic, and his eyebrows shoot up. “That is so cool.”
“This is Josie, remember from the Skyler signing? She created it.”
Jamie introduces himself, picks up a copy from the table, and buys it then and there.
CHAPTER 14
CHARLIE
I step off the elevator and scan the numbers on the doors, searching for room 546. When I see it at the end of the hall, I take in a shaky breath, smooth a hand over my hair, and walk toward it, knocking lightly.
The door opens, and there she is. Dressed in a loose-fitting white T-shirt and leggings covered in a purple, starry galaxy print, she looks very relaxed and mind-blowingly gorgeous.
“Hey,” she says with a smile.
“Hi.”
She steps aside and holds the door open for me, and I walk in coyly.
“Can I get you a drink?” she asks, closing the door behind me. “I’ve got soda, juice, water … or I can order some room service?”
“Um, just water is fine, thanks.” I look around her room. It’s huge—much bigger than mine. It’s ultrasleek and modern, all whites and grays and sharp angles, with wide windows overlooking the city. “Wow, what a view!”
“You should see it at sunrise,” she says as she opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” I say. “So, where do you want to shoot?” I tap on my shoulder bag, filled with all my equipment.
She looks around. “Well, the light is best in this room. Maybe we can sit on the couch and set the camera up here?” She gestures to the coffee table.
“Yeah, sounds good.” I place my bag on the floor next to the couch and start setting up. “I was thinking we could do a Q and A tag? Where we have about ten questions and we take turns answering them?”
Alyssa sits on the couch and crosses her legs. “Awesome.”
“Those videos are always pretty popular, plus they’re a lot of fun.”
Plus, it’s a great way for me to get to know Alyssa better, without it being too obvious that I’m interested in her.
I set up my lighting and pull the camera and tripod from the bag. “So,” I say, glancing up at her from behind the tripod. “Are you enjoying SupaCon?”
Her face lights up. “Absolutely! This is my fifth year in a row, and I love it more and more every time.” She leans forward, resting her arms on her knees. “But I miss being able to walk around the floor unrecognized. Hardly anybody knew who I was the first few times, but now…”
I nod. “Maybe you should cosplay it up. Pull a Bryan Cranston and wear a mask of one of your characters so no one knows it’s you.”
She laughs. “That would be awesome.”
I place the camera on the tripod and press the ON button to adjust the picture. I can see Alyssa on the screen, watching me. Her eyes run down my body, and I shiver as though her gaze was a physical touch. I swallow hard and look up at her. “Okay, you ready to start?”
“Let’s do it.”
I hit RECORD and sit down next to her, pulling my phone out of my pocket and searching for random Q and A lists.
“All right,” I say. “I’ve found a set of questions to answer. They’re completely random, so if you don’t feel comfortable answering one, just say pass and we can edit it out. Cool?”
Alyssa nods. “Cool.”
I put my phone on the couch next to me. “Okay, I’m gonna do a quick intro. I’ll say where we are, introduce you, you can wave or say hi or whatever you like, and then I’ll introduce the tag and we’ll start.”
“Yep.” She adjusts her position on the couch to be closer to me.
“Usually,” I say, smiling nervously, “when I do collabs, the other person hides until I introduce them. But if you don’t want to—”
“I can do that,” she says, and then proceeds to slide off the couch onto the floor beside me. We both giggle at how awkward it all is.
I look straight at the camera and smile.
“Hey, everyone!” I wave at my millions of viewers. “I’m Charlie Liang, and I’m here at SupaCon! Today, I’m doing a very special collab with a very awesome person. You’ll know her from her vlog, Alyssa Says, web series like Venus Soaring, the indie movie Dear Ruby, and her latest film, the terrifying horror movie Stranger. I’m so excited to be here with the one and only Alyssa Huntington!”
I hold my hands out, and Alyssa pops up, waving excitedly at the camera.
“Hey!” She sits next to me, this time even closer than before.
I try not to read too much into it; she could just be making sure she’s in the shot.
Then she puts an arm around me.
Don’t read too much into it.
“I’m so pumped to be here.” She turns to me, her face only inches from mine, her eyes on my mouth.
Don’t. Read. Too. Much. Into. It.
“What are we doing today, Charlie?”
I’ve completely forgotten.
“Um,” I look down, searching for a clue to help me remember what this video is about. I grab my phone. “We’re doing a Q and A session!”
I unlock the phone and see the list pop up. “Okay, so we each have to answer these questions as quickly as possible, saying the first thing that comes to mind. I haven’t read these questions, so they’ll be a surprise to both of us.” I glance at Alyssa. “You ready?”
She slides her arm away and rubs her hands together. “Ready.”
“Question one: What’s your favorite TV show?”
Alyssa waves a hand like it’s a no-brainer. “Easy. House of Cards.”
“Ooh, that’s a good one!” I say. “Mine is The Walking Dead.”
Alyssa grins. “I love that show, too!”
“Question two: What’s your favorite food?”
“Pizza,” she says. “For sure. Love pizza.”
“Mine is a Chinese dish that my mum makes. It’s mapo doufu with tudou piar and mifan.” Alyssa raises her eyebrows, impressed. “Basically, it’s spicy tofu with sliced potatoes and rice. It’s simple, but always reminds me of fun times sitting around the dinner table with my family.”
“That sounds so good.”
“It is! Okay, question three: Last book you read?”
Alyssa thinks for a moment, then looks at the camera. “I Am Malala. It was brilliant.”
“I loved that book so much. The last book I read was You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day, and it was so funny and insightful.”
“Oh, I really want to read that!”
“Get it. She’s so cool.”
We giggle a little, and I try to compose myself. “Question four: What’s your biggest fear?”
“Hmm,” Alyssa thinks, pressing her lips to the side. “Losing the people I love.”
I give her a sideways glance and am taken aback by the emotion on her face. I clear my throat and nod. “That’s mine, too.”
She locks eyes with me and gives me a
small smile. I look down at my phone and read the next question. “Question five: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”
“That’s a good one,” she says, sitting back against the cushion and putting her arms behind her head. “Invisibility.”
“I think mine would be to fly. Or read minds.”
She smirks and looks at me. “Yeah. Mind reading would definitely come in handy.”
Her gaze lingers, and I wonder if there’s a subtle message in her words. I want to ask her whose mind she would like to read, but then I remember the camera is rolling and keep going.
“Question six: What’s your ideal day?”
Alyssa leans forward, thinking. “I’d be in a new city. Maybe Paris or Copenhagen, with a clear schedule. I’d spend the whole day wandering around, going to museums, art galleries, restaurants. Seeing the sights, talking to locals, immersing myself in the culture.” She sighs a happy sigh, and she looks like she’s a million miles away.
“Wow,” I say. “That sounds like a dream.”
“Mhmm.” She snaps out of it and turns to me. “What about you?”
“Well, I was going to say a day at Universal Studios followed by a movie marathon with my BFFs, but … I think I like your ideal day better.”
This girl is a dream.
“Question seven,” I say. I look down at the next question and hesitate, but decide to ask anyway. “Have you ever been in love?”
Alyssa’s gaze falls to the coffee table, and she smiles to herself. “Yes. Once.”
I feel her glance at me as she waits for my answer.
“Yes.” I want to add “unfortunately,” but I don’t want to upset the Chase shippers. “Question eight: When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
Alyssa smirks. “An astronaut. Or a scientist.”
“Oh, that’s awesome!”
“Yep.” She straightens her shoulders proudly. “I was a huge science geek growing up. What about you?”
“I wanted to be a pro surfer when I was really little, then a fashion designer, but then I discovered YouTube.”
Alyssa does a double take. “You can surf?”
“Yeah, I love surfing.”
“That is so freaking cool,” she says, looking impressed, which was exactly the reaction I wanted. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf.”
I see my chance and take it. “You should come to Australia; I’ll teach you.”
“Done.”
“Question nine: What’s one thing you can’t leave the house without?”
“I have two things: my cell phone and”—she tugs on a silver chain around her neck and pulls a silver crucifix up from under her T-shirt—“this necklace. It was my mother’s. I never take it off.”
“It’s beautiful,” I say with a smile, sensing its importance to her.
“Thank you.”
“Okay, last question!” I scan the list for the final question, but pause when I see it. “Um, actually, that’s it! We’re done.”
Alyssa cocks her head. “There’s still one more. I can see it there.”
I keep my eyes on the screen and close the window. “It’s cool, we don’t have to.”
She chuckles. “What was it? Is it embarrassing?”
I glance up at her. “That depends.”
She tilts her head toward me. “Tell me.”
I laugh nervously. “Okay. It was: Do you have a crush?”
She laughs, too, nodding her head like she understands why I didn’t want to ask it. “Yes.”
“Yes what?”
She looks at the camera, her expression serious even though her mouth is still pulling up slightly. “Yes, I have a crush.”
She turns to me, resting an elbow on her knee and her cheek on her hand. “Your turn.” She raises an eyebrow, challenging me to answer the question.
I swallow and squeeze my eyes shut. “Yes.”
Alyssa throws herself back against the couch, laughing at my total embarrassment. “I think you’re blushing.”
I touch my hands to my cheeks. “Am not.”
“Mhmm.” She smirks. She reaches up and takes a hand away from my cheek. She holds it there, and I look down at our hands, intertwined on the couch.
My heart is racing.
My mouth is dry.
I’m very aware of how soft her skin is on my own, of the way she’s looking at me behind her long lashes, and of the blinking red light of my video camera.
She leans in, one hand holding mine and the other stroking a lock of my long pink hair between her fingers.
I close my eyes just before her mouth brushes against mine. My mind goes blank, my heart stops, and my breathing falters as I kiss her back. Her lips are even silkier than I imagined, soft and plump as they move over my mouth, my cheek, my neck, and then back to my mouth again.
It’s a kiss that makes the rest of the world fall away. My universe consists only of her lips on mine.
We break away much too soon, then she exhales and slowly opens her eyes. “I have wanted to do that for over a year.”
I gasp. “Seriously?”
She nods. “I told you; I’ve been watching your vlogs for a long time.”
That reminds me of the video we’re currently still making.
I glance over at the camera and grin sheepishly. “We should probably edit that last bit out.”
Her lips twitch into an uneven smile. “Definitely.”
CHAPTER 15
TAYLOR
QUEENOFFIRESTONE:
Okay, so I know I usually only post fandom stuff and I’ve been posting a lot more personal things here this weekend, but I’ve been learning a lot about myself here at SupaCon. Things have been on my mind, and I feel like if I don’t let them out, I’m going to explode.
I just met someone like me. Another Aspie.
In one brief conversation, she made me see that there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m a perfectly normal Aspie girl. I just feel broken because I’m trying to fit into a nonautistic world. I’m a square peg trying to squeeze myself into a round hole.
Up until now, I’ve done whatever I can to be normal and avoid leaving my comfort zone. But I’m starting to see that if you surround yourself with like-minded people, people who support you, then that comfort zone gets bigger and bigger.
And soon your comfort zone is the size of SupaCon.
For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like I have to try to fit in, because I’m surrounded by people who are as passionate and excited about the same things I am.
For the first time, I’m not totally alone in my weirdness.
My weird is normal here.
My weird is embraced, accepted, and expected.
You guys, I’m starting to love my weird.
P.S: Everyone go follow @josiedrawscoolstuff and buy all the things! She rocks!
#AspieGirl #SupaConIsMyHome #LoveYourWeird
I hit POST and look up at Jamie, who’s sitting across the table from me, reading Josie’s book. “Is it awesome?”
“The awesomest,” he says. “I can already see a few similarities between you and Valentina.”
I pop an onion ring into my mouth. “Like what?”
He thinks for a moment. “Well, like in this scene. Valentina is drawing, and she’s so focused on it that her abuela has to call her name three times before she hears her.” He looks up at me and grins. “That’s like you when you’re writing. It’s like you get sucked into a wormhole.”
I laugh, and notice that even laughing feels different now. Lighter. Easier. Meeting Josie changed so much for me. “So,” I say, tapping my feet on the floor while I sit. I take in a deep breath. “I think I’m gonna enter the SupaFan Contest.”
His head snaps up. “Huh?”
“I want to enter the contest.”
He sits up straight. “You do?”
“Yes.”
He cocks his head to the side. “What made you change your mind?”
&
nbsp; I shift awkwardly in my seat, already feeling nervous about my decision. “Talking to Josie.” I know if I delve deeper into it with him, I’ll cry, so I leave it at that.
Jamie smiles and pulls his phone out of his jeans pocket to check the time. “We better eat fast, then. I think the sign-up closes at three, and it’s almost two thirty.”
“Where do I sign up?”
“I’ll check,” he says as he unlocks his screen. “I saved the entry details on my phone in case you changed your mind.” I wait hopefully as he reads. He runs a hand through his hair and grimaces. “It’s on the other side of the building. In one of the smaller halls.”
“Can we make it?”
He looks at the map on his screen, his eyes narrowed and forehead wrinkled as he tries to find the fastest route. “We can.”
We quickly finish our meals, pay, and hurry back to the con.
“Follow me,” Jamie says as we enter the building. He starts weaving through the crowd, and I follow close behind him. His long legs make him hard to keep up with, so I reach out and clutch his shirt so I don’t lose him. He feels me holding him and glances back over his shoulder, winking at me.
Ten minutes later, we’re running up to the hall entrance, where a woman waits with an iPad. “Are you here to sign up for the Queen Firestone SupaFan Contest?” she asks, a cheery smile plastered on her face.
“Yeah,” I puff, catching my breath.
She asks my name and taps it onto the screen. “Okay, Taylor. You’re all signed up! There are two rounds in this contest. Round one is called Queen of Cos, and it starts in about an hour. It’s a cosplay contest. Do you have a Firestone costume?” I nod. “Great! Round two is called One True Queen; it’s a trivia game based on the books and movies. That’s at ten a.m. tomorrow.”
I swallow the nerves trying to bubble up from inside me.
She gives me another smile. “Do you have any questions?”
Yes. About a million. But I shake my head. “No, I think I’m good.”
“Great! See you back here in an hour.” She starts talking to the next person wanting to sign up, and I turn around to leave.
Jamie is grinning at me. “Are you excited?”