by Xingjian Gao
Thug:
Let’s say you’re a friend of hers. What happened was that when you were finished with her, you killed her.
Sleepwalker:
That’s only your hypothesis. Unfortunately, it’s not a fact.
Thug:
What is fact?
Sleepwalker:
A fact is something that’s real, something that’s irrefutable evidence!
Thug:
Evidence? (Takes out a handkerchief from his shirt pocket and wraps the shoe in it.) The shoe is evidence, complete with fingerprints. (Stuffs the shoe into his wind breaker pocket.)
Sleepwalker:
Don’t try laying it on others. You’re the killer! You say, accuse all you want, but you’re not the least bit scared. You won’t take this blackmailing shit!
Thug:
How come your fingers are trembling like hell, huh? Which means, my friend, you’re scared shitless, aren’t you?
Sleepwalker:
(Looks at his fingers.) You say you’re angry, ‘cause you’ve been accused of something you never did! And one more thing, you absolutely don’t have a friend like you!
Thug:
Not a friend, then what? A bad guy?
Sleepwalker:
You say you’re not trying to cause you any trouble, and you don’t have any axe to grind.
Thug:
Then are we partners?
Sleepwalker:
You say there’s no secret that you can’t tell no one! And you don’t need no one to be your partner!
Thug:
You really think you’re clean? You got your leg over her, even if that little whore did really make the first move, which she couldn’t have unless you were horny yourself. In a word, you’re her john, and together you two made good this filthy business—
Sleepwalker:
You say you didn’t do anything with her!
Thug:
Are you sure? Think again!
Sleepwalker:
You did many times already, so what? Even if you did do it with her, so what? It’s not murder!
Thug:
(Sneers at him.) A whore and her john, was it just hot nuts or was it also cold-blooded murder? It’s hard to tell. And now my friend, who besides the whore can prove if you’re guilty or not guilty?
Sleepwalker:
(Shouts.) You say you—
Thug:
Don’t you yell at me. Besides, it’s no use blowin’ your cool like that. Nobody can prove you’re clean now! You had this shit going with her, and after it was over, you killed her. Only you Sleepwalker You go to hell!
Thug:
I’m telling you, you’ll be in deep shit when the cops come!
Sleepwalker:
You say it’s obvious you’re the killer! Not you!
Thug:
How can you prove that?
Sleepwalker:
You say you were passing through the scene of the crime, and you saw it with your own eyes.
Thug:
What’d happen if somebody else said the same thing about you? You’ve gotta have evidence, my friend. Make no mistake about it, it’s better to settle this kind of thing between ourselves than blowing it all out into the open.
Sleepwalker:
You ask, what in the world do you want?
Thug:
Me? Buddy, I just want to help. I’m gonna be helping you all the way, and of course you won’t forget to pay me handsomely afterwards.
Sleepwalker:
Helping you to do what, you ask?
Thug:
Come here.
Sleepwalker:
You say what if you don’t?
Thug:
You’ll be dead just the same.
Sleepwalker:
(Hesitates.) You say at this time you can…
Thug:
You can certainly try. If the worst comes to worst, we’ll have to see if lady luck is with you.
Sleepwalker:
Then, you ask what exactly do you want to do?
Thug:
Come on in first, through the door.
Sleepwalker:
(After some thoughts.) You say, let’s lay down all the cards on the table. What’s in it for me? You get what you pay for, right? That seems to be the rule of the game these days. What’s the deal you have in mind?
Thug:
Okay, now listen up. This is the deal: If you can carry this suitcase through that door and across the road over there safely, we’ll split what’s in the suitcase, fifty, fifty.
Sleepwalker:
There’s only one suitcase. You could very well carry it yourself. Why do you have to pay somebody else to do it for you? You seem to be getting the short end of the stick in this deal.
Thug:
You’re certainly no pushover. Let me repeat it for you: the suitcase is worth at least two heads, yours and mine. The high price I’m offering is for insurance! We’ve got no time to waste. Either you skip out of here with me or you’ll end up like the whore! I’m goin’ to count to three: one, two—
(Sleepwalker steps into the shadow of the doorway.
Thug pulls out his gun and takes off his wind breaker.)
Thug:
Put this on! Pick it up and go!
(Sleepwalker puts on the wind breaker and steps out of the doorway shadow, carrying the suitcase in his hand. He stops, his body swaying left and right.)
Thug:
Move it! Go straight ahead and cross the street!
(Step by step, Sleepwalker walks gingerly towards the opposite side of the street. Thug leaps out from the doorway. As he starts to walk away leaning against the wall, there comes the sound of a gunshot. Sleepwalker is stunned. He thinks he has been shot and his body becomes stiff and motionless.
Thug falls down with a loud thud. Sleepwalker runs for his life.
Ruffian enters, blocking his way.)
Ruffian:
Hey, buddies!
Sleepwalker:
(Immediately explains.) You say you’re not with him. He is he, and you are you. You say somebody put the squeeze on you—
Ruffian:
I meant you and me, we two are buddies—
Sleepwalker:
You say you’re on nobody’s side. You’re going to pretend not to see whatever you did. You’ll just go in peace, and don’t you worry. You’re clean, both of you.
Ruffian:
We’re on our own separate paths, but I’m sure we’re working on the same deal.
Sleepwalker:
You say you’re unable to work on any deal. Besides, you didn’t do anything at all.
Ruffian:
Stop wagging your tongue. Just hand over the goods!
Sleepwalker:
You ask what goods? Which goods does he mean? You can’t pretend to know when you don’t.
Ruffian:
Put down what you’re holding in your hand!
Sleepwalker:
(At once puts the suitcase on the floor.) You don’t want any dirty money. Just take it. You say you were forced to carry the thing, and now is a good time to get rid of it. (Backs off.)
Ruffian:
(Stretches out his hands, which have on a pair of black leather gloves, to take the suitcase. He opens it and closes it back at once.) You butthead! You scare me! What’s in it?
Sleepwalker:
You say how would you know? You really have no idea! Isn’t it gold, silver, jewellery or money?
Ruffian:
Son of a bitch, you’re no do-gooder either! (Tries to corner him.)
(Sleepwalker turns and tries to run away.)
Ruffian:
Freeze! (Takes out his gun.) Where do you think you’re goin’?
Sleepwalker:
You say you only want to hurry home. You’re not going to the police. It’s been like a bad dream, and you’ll pretend to be deaf and dumb whoever asks you. (Forces on himself a smiling face, as if he’s smiling yet not smiling.)
/> Ruffian:
Good dream or bad dream, you’ve gotta finish it. Turn around!
(Sleepwalker turns around quickly, his hands up in the air. Ruffian searches Thug’s body, finds some money and fishes out a gun from his overcoat pocket. He takes out the bullets, raises the gun and inspects the barrel.)
Sleepwalker:
(Turns his head away.) Don’t—
Ruffian:
(Tucks the emptied gun back in Thug’s wind breaker pocket.) Drag him over there!
Sleepwalker:
Where?
Ruffian:
Dump him, chuck him into the cardboard box. The garbage men’ll take care of him when they come. No littering the city and no disturbing the public peace either. Afterwards you can sleep all you want, and we’ll both be in the clear. How about it, eh? When you start something, you’ve gotta finish it, right? As long as you don’t leave any mess behind, nobody’s gonna see or smell anything, absolutely no one. I mean the whole thing’ll be airtight, like a perfect circle.
(Sleepwalker drags Thug in front of the box, picks him up and stuffs him inside. At the same time, he also hides Thug’s gun inside his shirt.)
Ruffian:
Another one over there, get her in the box as well!
Sleepwalker:
Where?
Ruffian:
Inside the hole, that bitch.
(Sleepwalker goes over to the doorway. He hesitates and draws back his hands.)
Ruffian:
What the hell are you waiting for? Haven’t you touched a woman before?
Sleepwalker:
It’s gone.
Ruffian:
What’s gone?
Sleepwalker:
The body.
Ruffian:
How could it be gone when she’s already dead?
Sleepwalker:
It’s really gone.
Ruffian:
The hell you say! Cut the crap, will ya? I haven’t got all day!
Sleepwalker:
See for yourself if you don’t buy it.
(Ruffian enters to inspect the doorway with the gun in his hand. Sleepwalker fishes out Thug’s gun from his shirt and whacks the killer’s head from behind. Ruffian falls. Sleepwalker bends down to listen, rises.)
Sleepwalker:
Thank God you’ve gotten rid of that swine. You didn’t mean to kill anybody, but under the circumstances you were forced to do it, you had no choice. You were driven against the wall, anyone would have done the same if they were in your shoes. (Grabs Ruffian’s feet and drags him in front of the cardboard box.) That was a real nightmare. At the time, you really wanted to swear at somebody or something. You’d rather kill someone first than waiting for that someone to kill you. Better kill than to be killed. Only now did you realize that there’s also pleasure in killing. Your brain was pounding up and down and your blood vessels were bursting, you were so excited. It’s amazing, face to face with that vicious brute, you were equally as vicious. They say evil for evil and goodness for goodness. Well, who cares if it’s true, the point is you actually managed to get away in one piece.
(Drags the body and stuffs it into the cardboard box.) In your heart you’re actually congratulating yourself, because you’re so calm that you can carry on with your life as if nothing has happened, and this hand, it is still your hand, (looks at his hand) it bears no trace of murder….
(Leans on the cardboard box with a sigh of relief.) Of course you should feel lucky. At the same time you can’t help wondering: the world is full of evil, you’re surrounded by evil, but you don’t feel at all strange about it, you even experienced a certain vague feeling of pleasure when you were at it. Nobody saw you, nobody will tell, so you too can carry on with your evil deeds like the others. If everyone acted the same way, we could all live in peace and harmony, couldn’t we? As long you keep away from disasters, as long as you can escape punishment, and as long as you can overcome your own cowardice, you’ll be able to continue with your game, feeling happy about other people’s misfortunes. (Drops his hands.)
(The light contracts and concentrates on Sleepwalker, then gradually dims.
On the left of the front stage, a light shines faintly on the train coach. Traveller is asleep, his head in his arms and his feet stretched out. The book he was reading has fallen onto the floor. Young Woman and the high heeled shoe, which was on the floor, are gone.
The monotonous roar of an engine gradually fades.)
Act III
(Sleepwalker stands motionless at centre stage. The lights shine vertically from above and are focused on him. Everything around him has faded into darkness, except for the suitcase, which stays in the lit circle.)
Sleepwalker:
You can’t find the way from which you came.
How can you go back if you’ve forgotten how you came?
You were innocent all right, but you can’t say for sure if you’re totally innocent.
At any rate, evil is all around you, and the more you struggle to be free, the deeper you’re trapped, and you can’t get away from it.
Watchful eyes, they’re here, there and everywhere. You’ve become a prey waiting to be preyed upon. You’re besieged by all kind of traps, there’s no way out.
It’s better to await judgement than to run away. You’re waiting for the time when the pop of a gunshot will come, any time, from any direction in the dark—that’s the trick, like a sword hanging dangerously over your head. (He stops in front of the suitcase, his head lowered.) Is this a well-laid trap? (Lifts his head.) You’ve had this strange habit ever since you were a kid: you always wanted to open all kinds of boxes, cupboards and doors which couldn’t be opened, just to take a peek at the secrets you weren’t supposed to see, the secrets you weren’tallowed to see. But once they were opened you’d always discover that there was nothing worth seeing inside. The real feeling of mystery was in between the times when they were unopened and opened, that’s when your heart never stopped pounding. The mystery resided not in the boxes but in your mind.
(He circles around the suitcase with caution and then walks away, but he cannot help looking back.) Certainly you did peep through a door crack or behind a curtain, ogling at the secrets of a girl who’d just been awakened to desire, a desire which also tormented you…. Then the whole thing became commonplace after a while. Satisfying a desire is nothing more than having a good meal. Now only when you’re face to face with evil, is the excitement enough to satisfy the evil in your heart, you’re that close to death and you’re playing a death game. You know it well, over there on the side of death there’s nothing, nothing can possibly exist. You’re merely toying with death, and at the brink of death you more or less have a feeling of apprehension…(Returns to the suitcase and opens it carefully.)
(A woman’s head rolls out. Stunned, Sleepwalker backs off, stops and looks down.
It becomes gradually brighter behind the opened doorway, revealing a silent night sky. There are no clouds. The moonlight is clear, but the moon is not seen. The caws of seagulls can be heard faintly.)
Sleepwalker:
(Looking back at the door.) And then you heard the tide and the rumbling of the waves, and you saw the moonlight galloping on the sea and on top of the blue ripples. Before the full moon rose, there came wave after wave of blue radiance, and they swam and danced amid the dingy sea water like slithering snakes. The waves, glittering and breaking at times, disappeared before your bare ankles, which were now immersed in the ice cold sea water. And your young self of a long time ago, overawed and surprised, couldn’t help walking deeper and deeper into the water in unhurried steps…
(Walking towards the big door.) You felt the temptation of death for the first time.
(Stops.) You’ve been afraid of death ever since you were small, afraid that one day you’d disappear from the face of the earth once and for all.
At one time you shot and killed a bird with plumed
feathers. It was cut up so badly that i
ts insides all spilled out. Only an indigo plume remained, which you kept…
(Keeps walking.) Your life is in fact an enigma, you’ve not been able to walk away from desires, including sleeping with women, getting married and getting divorced. You’re still afraid of death, even though not as much as before. If one day it arrives, your life will be over and that’s that, there’ll be no need to think about it any more. But you’re still trying everything possible to avoid its coming; apart from the instinct to survive, there’s no other meaning you can think of, no other reason for you to keep on living. Even if you cried out loud or blew a whistle as hard as you could, the whole thing would still be nonsensical, a laughable nonsense even today.
(Walks in front of the door.) You can’t walk in through this door, it’s in your destiny, once you cross the threshold, everything here will vanish, no more.
You know very well that there’s nothing behind the door, all is but your imagination, even your childhood memories are shadowy, they’ll only come back to you slowly and reveal themselves after you’ve ransacked your brain, but they remain blurred, the only thing that’s clear is the effort you’ve put in. You’ve made the effort, trying in vain to sketch an outline of your memory, but it’s like this door frame, you can’t be sure what’s inside.
(Turns around.) You can’t map out the border between memory and imagination, if memory is real and imagination is mere fantasy, how can you tell how much reality actually resides in memory, which has already been processed by imagination, and how much of it is not mere fantasy? In the final analysis you can’t return to the reality which has elapsed, and you’re destined to live in the here and now.
(Leaves the door.) You know that right now you’re sleepwalking, living in a world between dream and reality, and you can’t be sure whether the reality you’re in is merely your memory or imagination. You don’t even have the courage to disturb your dream, is it because such a disturbance would mean the death of your self? There’s no way to detect whether you, your self, are real or fictitious. You’re like an illusive shadow, perhaps that’s why you want to have a woman, the tangible body of a woman, so that you can prove your existence, and it is not important who this woman should be. At this time, you need only a woman who could share your carnal desire with you—something like that. (Droops his head.)