by Lia Lee
I shook my head. “You don’t have to be. I was too young to know her. You can’t miss what you don’t know, right?”
Luke shrugged. “I don’t always agree with that statement.”
I didn’t either, but I had tried to be blasé about it. I didn’t like talking about my mom. I had often felt, growing up, that I might have had a different life, a better life, had my mother still been alive. My dad had always been away on business, and the rare times he had been home, he had been mean and controlling. I knew he cared for me, but he had no idea how to show it, and sometimes I resented him for that.
We drove in silence for a while. The road wound through the mountains with pine and fir trees scattered on both sides, and the air was clearer than clear.
“What about your parents?” I asked, breaking the silence.
Luke glanced sideways at me. “What about them?” he asked.
“Where do they live?”
He took a deep breath, and I wondered if the question was harder than I had thought.
“They’re in New Jersey. We used to be very close, but I haven’t seen them in over a year.”
“That’s a long time.”
He nodded. “It is.” He hesitated again. “They disowned me.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said.
Luke shrugged as if it didn’t matter. I was sad for him. I was running from my dad, but I had grown up hearing that family was the most important thing. It was an Italian value that I had been taught since I could remember. Hearing that Luke’s parents were alive and well but didn’t want anything to do with him was the saddest thing. I wanted to ask him why they had disowned him, but I didn’t want to push him. His reaction suggested it was a touchy topic and even though I was curious, I didn’t want to pry.
We drove the rest of the way in silence. It wasn’t a strained silence; rather, it was like we were friends, comfortable in each other’s company even without words. It was strange considering how little we knew about each other. Maybe it was because I had slept with him, given him my virginity. Or maybe it was because it just worked, and we were two people who could be together in silence and it would never be awkward.
Whatever it was, it was pleasant.
We arrived in Dillon. It was a tiny town. Luke had told me it had a population that barely reached a hundred and it was built on the edge of the Dillon Reservoir, a large body of water that gave it the feel of a holiday destination of sorts. The buildings were all clustered around the roads, and every now and then, someone waved at Luke, recognizing him.
“You’re quite popular,” I mentioned after the third person honked and waved.
“In a town this small, it’s impossible not to be popular. Everyone knows everyone, and if you’re new, you bet they’re going to find a way to get to know you, too. I come here often enough for supplies that I’ve become one of the locals.”
I smiled. “It seems nice to belong somewhere.”
Luke nodded, thoughtfully. “I’ve never looked at it that way. I don’t know if this is where I belong, but the townsfolk around these parts seem to think I do. For now, that’s good enough for me.”
Luke parked in front of City Market, a place where he could buy organic produce.
“Are you coming?” he asked.
I shook my head. “My phone has service, here. I’m going to stay in the car and make a call.”
Luke nodded and shut the door before sauntering off. I watched him walk away. Luke carried himself with pride and strength, but there was something about the way he acted in public that made me think he knew exactly where everyone was and what they were doing, that he was only acting as relaxed as he looked. No one else would have noticed it, but I had seen that walk on many of the men that worked for my dad. I wondered what Luke was looking out for. His life seemed so simple out here that I couldn’t imagine what difficulties he could have.
When Luke disappeared, I turned my attention the burner in my hand. I dialed Lizabeth’s number, and she answered almost immediately.
“Anna, thank God you’re alive. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. I’m safe,” I said.
“When I didn’t hear from you, and you didn’t arrive at my parents’ place, I was worried something had happened to you. Where are you?”
“I’m staying somewhere outside of a small town called Dillon. I think it’s South of Steamboat Springs, an hour or two.”
“How did you end up there? Are you at a motel?”
I gave Lizabeth a summary of what had happened.
“Will you let your parents know I’m safe? I feel terrible not being able to call, but the cabin where I’m staying has no cell service. I came into town for service so I’ll only be able to get in touch now and then.”
“I’ll let them know,” Lizabeth said. “I’ve been listening to weather reports. You don’t get any, do you?”
“I don’t,” I admitted. “In the middle of nowhere. I can see the skies change and feel how damn cold it is, but I don’t know what’s coming.”
“They’re saying a storm is headed toward Steamboat Springs. The roads into town have been closed. They’re looking at twenty-two inches of snow.”
“That’s a lot,” I said. “I’m going to have to stay here for a while, then. At least, until it’s safe to travel.”
“You do that,” Lizabeth said. “At least I know you’re safe, and if there’s no service of any kind, I doubt your dad will find you easily.”
I nodded. I had thought of that, too. It wouldn’t have been my first choice, staying somewhere so isolated, removed from the world in every way. But Luke lived a good life out in the mountains, and he happened to have a perfect set up for me. It was a beautiful coincidence.
“So, are you going to tell me all about this guy who saved your ass, or are you going to hold out on me forever?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but Luke walked back to the car with grocery bags in his arms.
“I can’t talk to you about it now. He’s coming back. I’ll call you and fill you in when I can.”
Lizabeth sighed. “The curiosity is going to kill me. You’re staying with a handsome stranger, and I don’t get to hear any juicy gossip.”
I laughed. “How did you know he was handsome?”
“I know you much better than you think. You were gushing when you told me about him.”
Luke opened the car door.
“I’ll chat with you soon, Liza,” I said and hung up. I smile at Luke who climbed into the truck.
“Right,” he said. “One more stop before we head back.”
Chapter 8
Luke
After we were in Dillon, taking care of supplies, Anna and I headed back to the cabin. I looked forward to spending time with her. I was excited to cook dinner for her as well. I had picked up some items for spaghetti Bolognese.
“My mom used to make spaghetti Bolognese when I was little,” I said. “It’s the first meal I learned to cook by myself.”
“It’s quite a meal for your first,” Anna said. “I can’t even remember the first thing I cooked. Probably cereal.” She laughed, and I loved the sound of it.
“Well, the recipe is fairly simple so don’t prepare to be blown away. Besides, with you being Italian and all, you’re probably used to authentic.”
Anna laughed again. “You’d be surprised how Americanized I am. I grew up with my dad, and it was easier to get takeout or go to restaurants than it was for him to cook for me. When I grew older, I learned how to cook, and I started taking over the role. But I hadn’t learned from anyone Italian so I’m pretty much as cut and paste as you get.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe it. I’m pretty sure you have taste, at least.”
Anna shrugged. “I can’t argue with that.” She waggled her eyebrows at me, and I laughed, realizing what she was saying.
I walked to the little kitchen and put pasta on the stove.
“Let me help. What can I do?” Anna asked.
Anna disappeared into the room, and I started on the spaghetti. I didn’t have cell service or Wi-Fi up here in the mountains but watching DVDs on my laptop was just as relaxing, and I didn’t have to struggle with advertisements or spam.
“What did you choose?” I asked when Anna came out of the room with the laptop bag and a DVD.
“I can’t believe you own Serendipity,” she said. “I thought it was a chick flick, and you are a manly man.”
I turned toward her from the cutting board where I was busy cutting tomatoes. “First of all, it’s one of the best movies ever made. Call me a hopeless romantic if you must. Second, I am a manly man, thank you very much.”
Anna laughed, shaking her head and set up the laptop on the coffee table. When the food was ready, we sat on the couch with our plates and watched the movie while we ate. Once our meal was done, Anna moved toward me and snuggled against me. I put my arm around her shoulders and relished in the closeness.
I liked having Anna sit against me like this. I had lived my life without a woman for the most part, and I had been fine, but with Anna around, I was starting to realize I missed a woman’s touch. Since I had dropped out of college, I had fucked around without ever committing. It had worked for me and my lifestyle, then. By the time I had run away, I had no strings attached, and it had been convenient. There had been a time when I had a girlfriend. I met her three weeks after college started and I had believed myself to be in love. When my life had started falling apart, I had dropped out of college, and I had lost my girlfriend. It turned out she hadn’t wanted to date a college dropout. Go figure.
I glanced at Anna, tracing her profile with my eyes while she was engrossed in the movie. If I had known back in college what I knew now, I would never have dated that girl in the first place. But everyone had to date that first dud to know what they didn’t want and what they did want. I knew exactly what I wanted, now.
Anna.
There was something about her that drove me mad. I couldn’t figure out what it was, but I was drawn to her the way I had never been drawn to a woman before. Wasn’t that supposed to be the other way around? Wasn’t there a syndrome where the damsel in distress fell for her hero? I felt like it was the other way around in the scenario because I was crazy about Anna even though I was the one who had saved her. Anna was definitely attracted to me, but I wasn’t sure she felt as strongly about me as I felt about her. And it wasn’t only physical, either. Sure, she had a hot body, and she was drop-dead gorgeous. But her personality, her mind intrigued me, and I wanted to know more about her because of who she was, not because of what she looked like.
God, if any of the guys back home saw me now, they would call me a pussy. But none of them were here, and even if they were, I would carry on pursuing Anna. She was a woman worth pursuing, a woman worth being bullied over. She was the kind of woman that would make all other men jealous when she decided to commit to someone.
Anna looked at me and caught me staring. I felt like an idiot.
“What are you looking at?” she asked.
“You,” I said. “Have I told you you’re beautiful?”
“So far, at least once a day.” Anna laughed.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll have to bump that up to twice a day, then.”
Anna laughed, shaking her head, but I didn’t miss the blush that crept onto her cheeks. I tipped her head up with my finger under her chin and kissed her. She was the type of woman I wanted to be with, girlfriend material, wife material.
But what did I have to offer someone like Anna? At the moment, I was hiding out in a cabin in the mountains. Back home, I had a handful of people hunting me. I had a bad past, no qualifications to my name, and I wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you introduced to your parents. My heart sank as I thought about it. I was in so much trouble, and if it found me, Anna could be in danger if she was around. The men that were after me weren’t the type that would negotiate before they aimed and pulled the trigger. I knew exactly how they operated because I had been one of them, once. I had played by the rules for so long I had lost track of who I was. When I had decided I wanted out, the Big Man had decided I had stepped out of line. When anyone was out of line, they were killed.
The only reason I was still alive was because I knew how they thought, knew where they would start looking first, and I had been able to hide well enough that they couldn’t ever find me. The downside was that I probably wouldn’t be able to leave the cabin. And living in a one-bedroom cabin in the mountains without cell-service and Wi-Fi was not exactly luxury. It wasn’t the kind of life I wanted to offer a worthy woman.
And Anna was worthy.
Maybe it was better for Anna to leave when the roads were clear, after all. It was safer for her. Just the thought of her walking away and probably never looking back made me feel like shit. I had only known her for a couple of days, but I knew what I wanted. The thought of losing her when I had only just found her brought back all the resentment that I had thought I had taken care of. I had resented Frankie, resented the men that had worked for him and with me. I had come to hate who I was when I was around them, and after I had left, I hated myself for weeks. Slowly, I had come to terms with who I was and what I had done. I thought I had taken care of the resentment and moved on.
If I had to lose Anna because of my past, that resentment would return in full force. It was because of what they would do to me when they found me because they were unable to drop a grudge, that I wouldn’t be able to be with Anna unless we were forever in hiding. What kind of life was that to offer the woman of my dreams?
These things swam through my mind again and again as we carried on watching the movie, and I barely saw what was happening on screen.
When the movie was finished, Anna turned to me.
“What do you do when you get cooped up in here?” she asked.
“I go for a walk,” I said.
“Can we go out? In the dark?”
I nodded. “I can’t see why not. A lot of the animals are hibernating right now. We’ll stay close to the cabin and take flashlights.”
Anna nodded, smiling. She looked excited, and the look became her.
I opened the storage closet on the other side of the living room and retrieved two flashlights. Anna and I took the time to dress warmly—at night the temperatures could go very low. Armed with our flashlights and our thick jackets, we headed out into the darkness.
The forest had an eerie quality to it with the snow shimmering in the moonlight and shadows capable of hiding anything. I had been thinking about the people I had been involved with, and tonight I worried they were hiding behind the tree trunks, ready to grab us when we walked past. I had to talk myself out of the madness. There was no one out there. My flashlight proved it every time it landed on something non-existent.
It was very cold, and in no time, Anna and I were shivering. I didn’t want to go too far but getting some fresh air was a good idea. Anna had wanted to head out, and I wouldn’t send her out into the wilderness alone.
While we walked, Anna asked me about my childhood. I explained to her how my dad had taught me to hunt, to trap small animals, and how to skin them.
“My dad has always been very serious about knowing survival skills. During the past year, it has helped me a lot.”
“You’re lucky you had such a good relationship with your dad before he disowned you,” Anna said. “I know it’s tough now, but those years you had with them shaped you as a person.”
“Do you feel like you weren’t shaped as a person?” I asked.
“No, I am,” Anna said thoughtfully. “It was just so much harder to have to do all that shaping by myself.”
Anna and I walked and talked together a little more before we headed back to the cabin. We got ready f
or bed, changing and brushing our teeth before Anna came to bed with me. I liked sleeping next to her. It wasn’t even about fucking. I enjoyed her company and her body heat next to mine when I slept.
Lying together, being side-by-side was plenty.
Chapter 9
Anna
On Saturday morning I was up at the crack of dawn. I was uncomfortable, unsettled, and I had no idea what had woken me up. Luke lay next to me, fast asleep. Would he wake up if something was wrong? I wasn’t sure. He was alert and on his guard—I picked that up every now and then—but he slept like the dead.
I rolled onto my side and tried to go back to sleep. The sun hadn’t even risen above the horizon yet, and the night still had the silvery quality it gets before dawn. I couldn’t fell back asleep, so I decided to get out of bed and put coffee on.
Two windows framed the front door, and I stood in front of one of them, looking out over the winter wonderland that surrounded the cabin. The pine trees with their evergreen needles were in stark contrast to the white fluff that lay on the floor and covered the branches like cotton wool. The morning was crisp, and despite the fire Luke had built last night to warm up the cabin, the cold came through the window panes and reminded me that we were very small in a very wild part of the country.
The kettle boiled, and I took it off the stove, making a mug of instant coffee. I opened the fridge and found eggs and bacon, part of the supplies Luke had bought yesterday. I set down my coffee and started breaking the eggs, whisking them together in a bowl while oil heated in a pan for me to cook the bacon. I put bread in the toaster and made scrambled eggs with bacon on toast.
I wanted to do something to thank Luke for how good he was to me. He had taken me in and made me feel welcome since the moment he had found me in the snow. Finding kindness like that was rare. In my life, at least. I wanted to show him how much it meant to me. Making breakfast wasn’t enough to show him how grateful I was, but it was a good start.
Luke came out of the bedroom a while later wearing the sweats he had gone to bed in. He looked delicious, still thick with sleep. I let my eyes slide down his body while he rubbed his eyes, relishing in how good looking he was and that I had been there, done that. I smiled and forced myself to look away.