by Rica Grayson
Minutes later, he came back carrying a white plastic bag.
He gently held my wrist and placed a triangular box in my palm, pushing it towards me.
“Eat.”
I looked down in surprise. “Bossy,” I muttered. My stomach rumbled at that moment. He covered a laugh with a cough when I elbowed him.
I hadn’t realized I was hungry. It had been hours since I last ate. He was aware of that, and he bought me something to eat.
It was a chicken sandwich. I unwrapped it eagerly. Before I took a bite, I looked up at him, felt the familiar thud in my chest and said, “Thanks again.”
“Any time.”
He took his own sandwich out of the bag, and we ate together in comfortable silence.
The wait was only several hours, but it felt like it’d been a week. We went home a little while after. Overwhelmed by what happened today, I did what I never usually did—I leaned on him. For comfort, for support.
And I found that it wasn’t so terrible.
He stopped me just before I entered my apartment.
“You going to be okay?” he asked.
I shrugged, and a yawn escaped me before I could help it.
“I’ll be fine,” I said reassuringly. “So glad she’s okay now.”
It was like a weight had been lifted, and all my energy seeped out of me.
“Night, Sierra,” he said, and the way he said my name melted me just a little.
Chapter Eleven
Absence Makes The Heart Wish It Grew an Arm, So It Can Do Some Damage
The next couple of weeks were unusually quiet.
Too quiet.
There weren’t any major disturbances. There were no more car alarms, wheezing vacuum cleaners, or knocks at the oddest times.
I found I was listening for any hint of life next door, and it annoyed me as much as my reaction surprised me.
Why was I even disappointed he didn’t come to bother me anymore?
I should be happy. Happy people didn’t sulk. Happy people did happy people things, not think about neighbors that cause sleep deprivation and increased blood pressure.
But I was.
I punched the punching bag harder. I woke up early today to work off some excess energy.
Oh my God, I missed that idiot. Maybe I was really going insane.
I continued, punch after punch, sweat dripping, imagining it was his face on it.
He stayed with me for several hours, and then after that, he disappeared.
Fuck him.
He still came home most nights at around three in the morning. I know because one night I was binge-watching White Collar when I heard the fumbling of keys in his door.
He came home alone.
So where did he go the whole time? What could be taking up so much of his time?
I never saw him leave in the morning either. He was usually gone before I woke up. I tried knocking on his door one time to test my theory out, and I was right.
Last night, he came home earlier. He looked dead tired, and hasn’t come out since.
I decided to take a shower and put him out of my mind once and for all.
“You were talking nearly everyday… And then nothing,” Eva said, a little wistful.
Awesome. Just when I was trying not to think of him anymore.
No note, no nothing. Zilch. I gritted my teeth.
“Umm. Sierra. You’re crushing that a little too hard,” she said over her shoulder.
Eva was cooking today, and I was helping her crush the garlic. We bonded this way often. I found that I learned things, and I also got to help her. Today, it didn’t seem to relax me one bit.
She was right, of course, as I looked down at my minced garlic. It was as crushed as crushed could get.
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Maybe he’s just busy,” she said.
“Right.”
So busy he couldn’t even bother to let people know he was alive.
“Are you going to hand me the knife?” I asked her, when she held it away from me. The onions were supposed to be next.
“Not a good idea,” she said with a smile, shaking her head. “Come here, let’s switch. Mix this.”
She pointed at the pan that was simmering in low heat.
I took it without a word of protest, because when Eva was bossing you around in the kitchen, you listened to her.
She chopped the onions, set them aside, and gave me an odd look. “He got to you.”
I blew a breath out, my curls fluttering out of my face. “So I developed a little crush. I must be crazy,” I groaned.
“A little crush,” she repeated, and she shook her head like I was being silly. “Only you, Sierra.”
It was ridiculous. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
“I’m sure it’s going to go away,” I declared.
She looked skeptical.
Our landlord liked changing things up every now and then.
I came back from Eva’s and found that a new painting replaced the old one in the lobby. The newest one was of a large boat sailing in the middle of the sea. The water sparkled in the sun, each stroke applied in fine, careful detail.
“Sierra.”
I jumped back in surprise. A warm hand steadied me.
Leather shoes. My eyes slowly drifted up.
Surprise hit me when our eyes met.
He hadn't spoken to me in a month.
And now, here he stood in front of me me, hands in his pockets, his eyes lit up and his expression curious. Like seeing me had been a highlight of his day.
I didn't fail to notice the slightly dark circles under his eyes.
I frowned. What the hell had been going on with him?
I jerked my gaze away from him.
"Hello to you too," I muttered.
“Nice shirt.” He was fighting a smile, and damn if that didn’t make me want to do the same.
I looked down at my top. Today I wore a white shirt with BOSS printed out in bold letters.
“Thanks.”
Why was he suddenly interested in talking to me now?
“Did you need something?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
I put my hands in my pockets too, but more as a safety precaution. He’d been the face of my punching bag for a little while now.
We stood there silently measuring each other, unsure of what to say.
“Yeah,” he said carefully. “I need to talk to you.”
“Talk?” I echoed blankly. “What about?”
“How you’ve been. Maybe over dinner. I believe you promised me one, but had to cancel last minute.”
I stared at him, making sure he didn’t sprout another head. I tipped his chin to the side. Nope, no extra features that didn’t need to be there.
Then I snorted, and unable to help it, threw my head back and laughed.
He wanted to ask me out! Just after disappearing for a month!
I took a gulp of air and tried to stop. When I saw a tick on his jaw, I kept laughing.
“Okay,” I said, still clutching my stomach when the laughter started to die down. “Say that again. Maybe cutting straight through the bullshit this time.”
His eyes darkened, and he stepped closer. There was something there.
Hunger.
Need.
His eyes roved over me, and he said, “I missed you.”
I bit my lip. It sounded like he did. But I was not going to give in. Not until I had answers.
I needed to leave now, or I’d be giving him a piece of my mind.
So I swallowed all the words that I wanted to tell him in case I’d regret it.
I looked away quickly and fished for my keys in my purse.
“Okay, I’m not doing this right now. You can’t just snap your fingers and expect me to say yes! I’ve got stuff to do today. I’ll see you around.” Then with a humorless smile, added a little sharper than I’d intended, “Or maybe not.”
He winced. “Sierra—”
/> “Bye, Luke.”
I walked back in and shut my door. Then I turned around, my back leaning on it.
I didn’t move from my spot.
There was no warning, no notes—just complete radio silence from his end. I thought we’d struck a friendship, even though it didn’t really start off that way.
I slid down until I was sitting on the ground, my knees bent. I sat there until I heard him walk away and his own door click shut.
“There’s something I need to tell you both,” Sherry said when I met up with her and Kate for lunch.
She showed me the diamond ring on her finger. It sparkled under the lights at Abe’s.
A hand flew to my mouth. “You’re getting married?”
“Yep,” she replied, beaming. She looked absolutely radiant tonight. Good things were finally happening to her.
“Oh my God. About damn time!” I cried out, thrilled.
I hugged her tightly.
She deserved it. Her and Chase have had a rocky relationship, but they’ve been through it and came out stronger.
“How’s the neighbor?” Sherry asked curiously.
I downed my drink in one gulp. Remembered him again. Will the topic never die? Even Rona called me yesterday, asking about me and Luke.
Kate sat back thoughtfully, her eyes not missing anything. “Okay, what’s wrong? Because you have this look, like you want to burn anything that crosses your path.”
I bumped my forehead down lightly on the table a couple of times. “He’s back,” came my pained reply.
The table was met with silence.
Kate gasped. “Luke is? What did he say?”
“What happened?” Sherr asked. “Did he explain?”
“He didn’t really get a chance to,” I said quietly.
“You know, I can’t blame you,” Kate said. She leaned forward on the table, sighing. “You two bicker like an old couple. Then…” She lifted a hand up along with a shrug. “He’s just going to come back like it’s nothing?”
Sherry frowned. “Maybe he has a reason. Can’t hurt to talk to him.”
I switched the topic immediately, asking about what they planned to do for their wedding.
Her excitement was palpable as she talked about it animatedly, and it took my mind off a certain someone.
I opened the door just slightly, poking my head out. Okay, the coast was clear.
I climbed up the stairs two at a time.
“Sierra. Wait.”
Oh crap.
When I didn’t stop, Luke put a hand on my elbow. There was no way to avoid him now.
I turned around to face him. “Luke,” I acknowledged, trying to sound calm.
“I’ve been… It’s been a heck of a week,” he began. He exhaled a breath, like the weariness had been physically weighing him down.
And was that the start of an apology?
I arched a brow. “Just a week?”
He closed his eyes, like the gravity of the realization just hit him. “Fuck. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
He was so clearly out of it. Did I really want to have a relationship with someone who was intense and complicated?
I haven’t been in many relationships, but I’ve been in enough to know that some people inevitably let you down.
People said being in a relationship was amazing, and they coat it with flowers and rainbows and the sweetest of words.
They were so full of shit. I’ve seen the damage heartbreak can do to my friends. It wasn’t pretty.
“You said you didn’t want to go out. So let’s do it here,” he said, his voice steely.
Here? Out in the hallway? I glanced at the doors downstairs.
Umm… “You want our neighbors to talk?”
“They can talk about fuck all. The only person that matters in this building is you.”
My heart stuttered in my chest at his words.
“Luke, maybe you should sort things out first, okay? Because, clearly you’re going through stuff at the moment.”
There was a pause.
“You’re running away.” There was disappointment there, and something heavy settled on my chest.
I stopped. The accusation was… the accusation was…
“Scared, Sierra?” he challenged.
“I’m not running away,” I bit out, my voice coming out shaky.
Because I was many things, but I didn’t consider myself a coward. Cautious, yes. Prepared, too. But I needed to be.
What I could admit to myself was that his disappearing act hurt me. And if he was going to do it often, and so abruptly, it was better to cut things off early. It was the smart thing to do.
I bit my lip when it started to tremble.
Who the heck was I kidding? I was full of shit too.
His gaze slid down to my lips. “You sure sound like you are.”
I was done with this.
Because what I was not going to pretend was that the couple of weeks didn’t happen.
I turned around, slipped the key in the hole and pushed the door open, feeling the sudden urge to get away.
I thought he’d already left, but when I turned to see if he’d gone in his apartment, I stared as his large body stepped inside my door. Again. Why did he keep doing that?
This time, he smiled, and it was devastating. “Much better than doing this outside.”
Ughhh.
I unstrapped a sandal, tugging at it angrily.
“You’re—you’re ridiculous,” I blurted out.
He looked speechless for a second. “I’m ridiculous?”
“Yes. You—you disappear after all this time, and then you storm in here, like you’re God’s gift to women. Well, you’re not.”
I unstrapped the next one and tossed it to the side, too.
“Christ. It’s like you don’t listen. Enter in one ear, out on the other.”
I don’t know why I did it. It seemed like a good idea at the time, especially after what he said. Sneakily, I crouched down, then I leaped up and jumped him. Which was kind of difficult given his size, but I managed it. Somehow.
As soon as I was kind of straddling his back, I realized what a stupid idea this was. I put my hands on his shoulders, because all of a sudden, I couldn’t keep my balance.
“Sierra,” he called out, surprised. The muscles strained on his back. I lost my grip.
We both tumbled down. Or rather I did on him.
My lashes flickered open, my hands tightly gripping something warm and soft. Somehow, I found myself on top of him, straddling him. My hands fisted his shirt.
“Sierr—”
Wes stopped short in the doorway, and froze, his mouth open. Then his mouth snapped shut.
“I, ah—I’m coming back some other time.”
He closed the door quickly, and it resounded with a loud click.
Oh my God. He was probably running a lot of assumptions in his mind.
Luke shifted to sit up. Then his hand went up to gently turn my face towards his.
“I had to take care of some things. Work for one, my family too. And my aunt came to visit recently, and she’s been… Hell, she’s been difficult. Driving me up the fucking wall.” He scooted closer and rested his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry.”
There was something raw about his admission, and his honesty stirred something in me.
Then he carefully got up and helped me get on my feet.
He drew a small piece of paper from his wallet. He scanned around the area and found my sunflower pen resting on my shelf. He paused to examine it, rolling it around in his hand. He looked at me, a smile crinkling his eyes. I raised a brow, daring him to say something.
He shook his head, grinning.
He scribbled something on the paper. He folded it and passed it to me when he was done.
“If you need to reach me, or if you just want to talk,” he said carefully.
It was his number.
It felt a little odd. He was always there, just acr
oss from me, so it never occurred to me that I even needed his number. He was just always there. And I had just learned it wasn’t always going to be the case.
A finger smoothed over my forehead, where a frown must’ve been.
“Don’t like this on you,” he said quietly.
Standing in front of him now, I felt strangely vulnerable.
I put a hand over my other arm, rubbing it, as if cold.
“Luke,” I started, then took a deep breath. I needed to get this out, before this could go somewhere. “I can take it if you hate me and never want to see me again, but before doing it, at least have the guts to tell me that to my face.”
He had to understand that about me. I needed that transparency from him.
His eyes warmed as they met mine, and said, “Got it.”
Chapter Twelve
Back To Square One
I didn’t call him.
I stuck his number on my fridge with a devil-horn magnet, just because.
I wouldn’t even know what to say. And so I decided I’d just call him if ever the situation necessitated it.
Part of me wondered if he craved the chase. I’d been with someone once who wanted that, and as soon the novelty had worn off, he left.
Luke was… He was sexy, ruggedly handsome, and he knew it. I’m sure he wasn’t lacking women who were chasing after him. Was he just playing around with me?
There were signs of life again, on the other side of the thin wall that separated us.
He came home earlier now, and one time, I caught a whiff of conversation as I came back from the gym. Someone was talking on the other end, the voice belonging to an older woman’s. He mentioned his aunt visiting, so I thought it might’ve been her.
“My God Luke, how do you sleep in this place?”
Lovely woman.
The next time I saw Luke, I was in the grocery store, wanting to eat fruit and making a last minute to decision to grab some baked beans.
The problem was someone decided only tall people could eat baked beans. I huffed a breath, trying to reach the damn can in a tiptoe. Who even made shelves this tall? Did they require a stool strapped to their legs every time they made a trip to the grocery?