by Rica Grayson
I had to accept it. And I had to leave, before I broke down and turned into a mess.
I moved back and turned on my heel, heading for the door of his room.
“Where are you going?” he demanded.
I kept my voice even as I replied, “You can come to me when you feel like returning my clothes.”
There was a pause. But before I reached the door, he beat me to it. When he made it there, he leaned back on it, his expression fierce.
He was blocking my exit.
What the hell?
"You lay all that on me, and you're leaving?" He looked almost incredulous.
Well, what did he expect me to do? "I was."
I glared at him pointedly as he stood in front of the door. I let out a resigned breath and said, "Coming here was a mistake."
He laughed darkly. There was no humor in it, and I hated the sound. "Now you're regretting what you said?"
"No," I tried to say calmly. "Coming here didn't change anything… I don't know why I thought otherwise. You don’t need me.”
And that really burned. I couldn’t look at him, because I knew I’d given it a try, and I didn’t know what I’d feel if I learned that it wasn’t enough.
I heard him move away from the door. So he had given up.
My heart sank, and I moved forward, my steps heavy. But just after I moved, he pulled me towards him so my body was held against his, and his mouth crashed against mine.
He stole my breath with the kiss, and I held on to him, kissing him back with the same ferocity.
He pulled back slowly.
We were both breathing hard.
“I need to know,” I said softly. “I need to know that this isn’t just some game to you.”
“Never was, sweetheart. I need you," he declared, his eyes holding mine captive. "You have no idea how much."
I drank in his gaze, his words, the sincerity I felt from it in my heart.
"Luke—”
“I was at the hospital.”
The words I were about to say died in my throat. I didn’t know what to expect, but not this.
“Hospital?” I echoed back. “Are you sick?”
He shook his head firmly.
“A few months ago, my sister got in a car accident,” he finally said, the words scraping him raw. “A couple of fucking idiots who didn’t have the sense to not drive when they were drunk. She’s in a coma.” His shoulders slumped.
He started to move towards the window, looking out. “Her name’s Liv. They adopted her just before we moved away. Dad thought they could make it work.”
Liam told me about her. I knew of her, even though we’d never really met.
It all started make sense. I also knew that hospital signal reception was horrible.
“My mom lied to me. She said everything was fine, I had no reason to come back to Fortuity.”
He paused, and I saw the pain as his eyes met mine. “I didn’t realize she was just saying that to get me to stay. She might never wake up, Sierra. Talking about it—it makes it all feel too fucking real.”
My heart ached.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my cheeks suddenly wet. I put a hand on his shoulder, trying to soothe.
“Came back home one night. And I heard your laugh from the other side of the wall. And there was a little light back in for just a split second. I didn’t want to lose that. I thought that maybe I could start over.”
He’d meant a month ago, right when he disappeared.
His arms went around me, his body engulfing me in warmth. He’d lent me his strength when I needed it most. Who was I to deny him that?
His head dipped down, and he kissed me. It started soft, before the kiss turned into something more. Deeper.
Desire unfurled low in my belly.
I barely registered my back hitting the mattress of his bed as his lips touched my neck, and he traced a path along my collarbone, down to my breasts.
He sucked in my nipple, and I whimpered.
I ground against him. He slid a finger inside my panties. Hot, exploring.
I moaned, low in my throat.
"Shhh, I got you," he said, his voice low and rough.
He tugged my shorts down, and they were off. He pulled off his clothes too.
He paused for a moment to roll a condom on then slowly slid inside me. I felt so full.
He looked at me like I was his whole world.
And the feeling was so new, so intense, I wasn’t sure I could take it all.
He must’ve sensed my panic, because he soothed it away with a deep kiss.
He slid back out, then he slammed back in.
I clenched tight on him.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice a little strained.
“Yes.” I moved my hips up, needing more.
Yes, right there. I moaned.
He did it again, more urgently this time. I arched my back and he placed a hand over my belly as he drove in harder. It felt possessive, the control he exerted over me. He pinched my nipple, and I couldn’t stop the sound that came out of my mouth.
And then I was gone.
It hit me hard. I rode the crest, pulses that contracted hard against his cock.
He came moments after me, and it stirred my desire anew, that I could do that to him. I came again, my nails nearly digging into the skin of his back.
It was raw. But it couldn't be more honest.
This was real.
Him. Me. No more walls, baring ourselves in a way that was impossible to hide. In a way that made me feel alive.
“Fuck, oh fuck,” he groaned as he climaxed.
So. Worth it.
For a while, there was nothing but the sounds of our breathing. We stayed in the same position for a couple of heartbeats before he slid out and moved back. “I’ll be right back.”
He disposed of the condom and moments later, I felt his weight sink down the bed.
He pulled me towards him, and I went along willingly.
I turned so I faced him, and he was all too happy to oblige, his hand holding me close, to swallow the space that separated us.
“So," I muttered, remembering why I'd originally visited. “Where did you hide them?"
He only looked amused. “I didn’t write any notes. I didn’t take your clothes.”
“You didn’t?”
Then who the hell took them?
“You know, if I find out you took them, I’m going to kick your ass,” I declared, all false bravado.
He smirked. “You won’t. You said I’d come to matter to you.”
I rolled my eyes. I knew he’d find a way to rub it in.
But he traced my hair and tucked it behind my ear. I shivered at the contact. There was something intimate about the gesture. It felt right. Like suddenly, everything clicked and fell into place.
The look he gave me made my heart do the familiar thudding in my chest, and he kissed me, deep.
And then I knew.
I wasn’t falling—I was already there.
Chapter Nineteen
And Then It Was All A Dream
Someone was knocking on the door.
I ignored it.
I squeezed my eyes closed tighter, and pulled the blanket up higher.
The knocking grew more urgent.
“Go away,” I groaned, even though I knew no one would hear me.
It stopped for a moment, only to return, this time more insistent.
“All right, all right,” I told no one.
I got up unsteadily, and I walked semi-blindly towards the door, tripping once over something that felt like a slipper. I didn’t want to open my eyes that long in fear that I wouldn’t be able to sleep again. These days, I guarded sleep tighter than Haley did her candy stash.
I opened my eyes and squinted, looking out the peephole.
Hmm. Luke’s aunt and Clarisse were in front of my door.
Wait a second…
I turned around to look behind me.
Last night came crashing back at me. Someone stealing my clothes. Me knocking on Luke’s door. Him telling me about his sister… Then everything that came after. My cheeks heated at the memory.
I looked down at what I was wearing. Luke’s shirt and nothing else.
Oh shit.
I stumbled across a plastic bag, desperately hunting for my clothes.
Yeah, that was me. Ridiculously uncoordinated in the morning.
Where was Luke?
I found a white terrycloth robe and slipped it on. It was heavy and too big on me, but oh well.
Had to make do.
I opened the door and forced a welcoming smile. At least, I thought it looked like a welcoming smile. It was the best I could do.
“Hi.”
His aunt’s hand was still held up mid-knock, frozen. They both stood there, gaping.
Their eyes swept over me.
They didn’t look happy. Especially his aunt. She wore displeasure like a second skin.
Well, it looked like I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep soon.
“Careful with the scowl, you don’t want wrinkles.”
“Excuse me?” His aunt sounded affronted.
Clarisse looked like still hadn’t recovered from shock. She didn’t say anything.
“Want some coffee?” I yawned, moving towards the coffee maker. May as well start the day, since I couldn’t do anything about it now.
Clarisse opened her mouth, but nothing came out. I seemed to have the extraordinary talent of rendering his family speechless. Awesome.
I half-shrugged. “Too bad. I want some. There’ll be some if you want.”
They followed behind me.
“You—you live here?” His aunt’s voice was getting higher the more she spoke.
I snorted. “Of course not. I live next door.”
“You live next door?” Her voice sounded strained.
Any higher and she’d be breaking some glasses.
We heard the door open, and all our heads turned to see Luke walk in, carrying some bagels. Then he stopped.
“Risse? Aunt Helen?”
“Bella will not be able to handle this,” she told Luke, sounding hysterical. “Do you care about your mother at all?”
A frown marked his forehead. “What did I do?”
“You’re with this—this woman. My God, do you even know her name?”
Well, that was insulting. They were also ignoring me, and I was right here.
I cleared my throat. “Oh, if he didn’t know my name, I wouldn’t even be here.”
His aunt spared me a split-second glance, before she turned back to Luke.
Luke’s expression gained a hard edge. “Her name is Sierra. Don’t disrespect her.”
Clarisse finally broke her silence. “Are you together?” she asked quietly.
“Yes,” he replied simply.
He didn’t even stop to think about it. The statement made my pulse race faster.
He looked at them both. “Is that going to be a problem?” he challenged.
No one said anything, which he took as their acceptance. His shoulders visibly relaxed. “Good. I’m just going to toast these.”
Look turned to me, a smile touching his lips as he pulled me in for a quick kiss. “Morning, sweetheart.”
My cheeks flushed. “Morning,” I replied.
He wanted me, and he had no problem letting others know about it.
As soon as he went to the kitchen, I felt their eyes on me.
I didn’t exactly like them, but I didn’t have a choice. And they were Luke’s family, so…
I exhaled a sigh. This was incredibly awkward. I poured some coffee and offered some.
Clarisse accepted, while his aunt remained firm on her refusal. She was still giving me the stink-eye.
God. I’d gone to not knowing a lot about him to having breakfast with his family in his home.
“How long?” she asked, her expression severe.
“Sorry?”
“How long have you been together?”
“Uh…” How was I supposed to place a date on it when I didn’t really know when it began? I went for the safe reply. “Last night?”
She leaned forward, her pointed nose and narrow-slitted eyes making her look intimidating. “Are you asking me, or is that a straight answer?”
“Ah…I don’t really know. I think last night.”
“Luke came from well-respected, wealthy roots, even though his parents have split. The kind you don’t belong in.”
Oh boy. I was getting “the talk”.
“Mmm.” I sipped my coffee.
“He likes the challenge. Since your relationship is very new, maybe you don’t already know. He was engaged once. She was a lot like you. He wants the challenge. And you, like a fool, believed it.”
That caught my attention.
He was engaged?
She smiled, taking satisfaction in telling me something I hadn’t learned about Luke yet. Clarisse looked notably uncomfortable, fingers gripping her cup tightly. But she hadn’t touched her coffee at all.
I felt numb. Her words spun around in my head.
He was engaged.
Past tense. It was done. But was I a rebound, then?
I didn’t feel like a rebound. He didn’t make me feel like a rebound.
I knew I was thinking too much. Last night made us closer than we’d ever been, and it’s been making me feel vulnerable.
I stood up abruptly.
I needed to think.
I needed therapy. Or something.
No, I needed Eva. And possibly fresh air.
Was that why he was so secretive? Because he still wanted her? More than that, was that why he wanted me—because I was someone to conquer?
All the happy, warm contentment from last night now made me feel cold.
He was going to be done with me. Except he didn’t sound like he was done with me. He bought us bagels for breakfast. If he was done with me, why didn’t he just tell me to leave? Was he trying to be polite?
Argh. I was driving myself crazy.
I found myself walking back to the room, pushing off the robe. I finally found my clothes in a corner and slipped them on hurriedly.
I walked out of the room, heading straight for the door in record time, when I heard my name being called out.
“Sierra, wait—” Clarisse called out when as she saw me reach for the knob. “Are you leaving?”
I rubbed my arms, needing the warmth. “I’m just going to get some fresh air.”
She didn’t look like she believed me.
“Don’t. Luke will…” Her expression was pained. I didn’t want to think of him right now.
But she pressed on, determined, “She was nothing like you.”
That stopped me in my tracks.
Was that acceptance from Clarisse?
I paused, before asking, “Are you just saying that because he’s your brother?”
“I’m saying it because it’s true.” She looked a little hesitant before she continued, “I know we never got along because of what happened, but I wouldn’t lie about this. Luke wants a challenge, and his fiancée wasn’t even much of one.”
I didn’t know who to believe. And I didn’t know what was worse—that he wanted me because I didn’t remind him of someone he loved, or that I did. And while I knew I needed to talk to him, I needed a bit of space to process everything that happened between us first. “I need to think.”
She paused, struggling to choose words. A sad look crossed her face, contemplative. “Sierra—he cares about you. I don’t think he ever really felt that way about her. Think about that.”
I pulled my phone out as I stepped out the building. I had two missed calls from Eva.
That was a little alarming.
I called her back immediately and waited.
She answered on the third ring.
“Sierra,” she breathed out,
sounding markedly relieved.
“Eva? What’s up?”
“I just wanted to tell you before anyone else does,” she began.
“Okay,” I said slowly.
Why was she acting weird?
She took a deep breath. I could feel the nerves from her end.
What she said next was the second blow I’d been blindsided with today—
“I’m leaving Fortuity.”
My stomach dropped.
“Leaving?” I echoed, suddenly feeling like I was going to be sick. “What do you mean?”
“Only for a while,” she quickly added in an attempt to soothe. It didn’t help. “I just need to… There’s just something I need to do.”
I knew. I think I’d always known. “You’re still searching for him.”
She and her brother were close. I suspected something like this would happen, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.
“I’m searching for answers,” she said fiercely. “Where he is, yes. But why. Why he’d throw away everything, without a word.”
I voiced out something that had been bothering me for a while. It needed to be said. “What if he doesn’t want to be found?”
“You think I’ve gone all this time not considering that?” she burst out in frustration, emotion clouding her voice. “I know that. But I deserve to know why he’d do that to me. To us.”
“I can help,” I offered, a tiny spark of hope that she’d let me come along.
“No.” Her reply was almost immediate. “I don’t want to get you involved,” she said carefully.
Ouch.
“Sierra, I can’t,” she drove her point in as I was about to protest. “These people… I don’t know what they will do. I can’t let anything happen to you.” Determination steeled her voice as she said, “I won’t. I need to do this for myself. And I have someone on my side. Someone who can help me.”
I’d learned a long time ago that when she made up her mind, she didn’t stop until she saw it done. One thing we had in common. We could be hard-headed when we wanted to be.
She was a big girl.
Except she was involving herself in a complicated mess, because her brother decided to get involved in stupid, illegal shit. And I couldn’t do a single thing about it.
“Stay safe.” I injected as much authority in my voice as I was able. “Call me if you need anything,” I told her sternly. “I mean it. Come back in one piece or swear to God, I’ll hunt him myself and make him pay.”