by TT Dorsett
Chasing Love & Rainbows
A Novel by TT Dorsett
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
Chasing Love and Rainbows
By TT Dorsett
Published by Daddy’s Girl Publishing House
Baltimore, Maryland 216021
Copyright © 2010 TT Dorsett all rights reserved
Daddy’s Girl Publishing House
All rights are reserved and under copyright law will be strictly enforced.
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Publisher’s Note
This is completely a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, personalities, scenarios, situations, and incidents that occur within this work are products of the author’s vivid imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance, similarities, or likeness to actual persons, living or dead, groups, business establishments, organizations, events, or locals is entirely coincidental.
Without limiting the rights under the copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be produced, re-enacted, reproduced, retrieved, stored in, or introduced into any form, by any means whether electronic, mechanical, recording, photocopying, scanning, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher.
Disclaimer
To those of you who are aware of the difficulties of writing, proofing, and editing a novel, the author deems it unnecessary to make any excuse or apology for the imperfection, which may occasionally be found in this work of fiction. Her objective has been to be entertaining; if that has been accomplished in any form or in any degree, she will be amply rewarded of her labour. She relies upon the generous liberality of her readers to forgive and overlook the errors, which may have been overlooked in her endeavours to please and entertain them. Daddy’s Girl Publishing House www.daddygirlpublishing.com
Acknowledgements
WOW! I can’t believe I finally did it!! I have been writing this book and on for the last two years. And after all this time, my dream has finally become a reality. But, I never would have been able to do this without the help and grace of God. He gave me this gift to write and also supplied me with the strength to see it through.
There are many people I would like to thank for believing in me and taking this journey with me. First, I would like to thank my husband KD (Kendrick) who has put up with the late night clicking on the computer keys while he was asleep and had to be up at 5 am for work. Thank you for your abundance of support. I love you.
To my three children KJ, Keerti, and Kyle. I thank you for putting up with my busy and crazy schedule. I know sometimes I slacked on mommy duty because I was in the midst of writing, but just know that everything I do, I do for you three. Always remember one thing, I love you babies!
Thank you to the rest of my family who has always supported me. My sister Miah Gamati and brother John Green. My Aunts (Roz Cox), Uncles, and Cousins. So many to name…lol
Next I would like to thank my 3RW Online Book club. These people have been my rocks and support system throughout this journey. Amber Nickens, Reshemah Wright, Tamika Smith, and Shaqualia Burkett. You all are my sisters from another mother. Thank you so much for your support, advice, and kindness. It means so much to me to have you girls as my friends.
Thank you to the authors who have helped me along the way with advice and kindness. You have been my mentors as I have taken steps into the writing world. I thank you Loretta Walls, Iris Bolling, SW Frank, and Author SK.
Thank you my Naughty Angel Family for all your support and love!
To my besties, who have always encouraged me about my writing. You all made sure I actually finished what I started. I thank you all. If it weren’t for you I wouldn't be here writing this dedication. Thank you, Quan Smith, Lillie Robinson, Trumaine Sinclair, and Ann Marie Lucas.
To my second mother’s Terrie Carloss, Felecia Clark White, and Beverly Ellebe, thank you so much for your encouragement and love. You two keep me sane when I get frustrated. And you help me remember to never give up. So I thank you both for stepping in being mother figures to me when I lost my mom in 95. You have treated me as if I’m your own daughter, and I love you both for it.
Next, to My Ayinde family. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. You guys are like a second family to me and I love each of you. You made me smile when I was down. You made me laugh when I had no laughter in me. You prayed for me and you kept me lifted. And I wouldn’t change anything about the love you give and show to me every day.
This thank you is for my sisters Raynele McKenzie, Sharelle Jasper, and Tiffany Coleman. Thank you for being my support system. Thank you for your encouragement, prayers, love, and kindness. I know I can always lean on you in my time of need. I’m blessed to be able to call you three my friends.
Thank you to my Anarchy Family on Facebook for your loving support. Andy Durgin & L. Lewis, thank you for editing my book and looking over it. I appreciate you!
Last but not least, I would like to thank Brenda Stokes Lee, my mentor. If it weren’t for you my book would still be sitting on my flash drive collecting dust! You pushed me to move forward with publishing my first book. No words can express how grateful I am to you. You made me step out on faith and take a hold of my dreams. You were with me every step of the way. Any questions I had, you provided an answer for. Thank you so much for your help. I’m truly honored to have you as my mentor.
If I left anyone out I’m sorry. I thank everyone who has ever supported me in my writing endeavors.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Rainey Sutton (My mother), Cynthia Moore (God Mother), Lucille Davis (Aunt), Dora Sutton (Grandmother), and Ben Stewart (Cousin). If I could go back and just see their beautiful faces I would. I know they are in a better place sitting high with God. These individuals have touched a part of my life that will live on forever. My inspiration comes from them because they always had my back when it came to my dreams. So it’s only fair to dedicate my first book to them. They are my Angels looking down on me, cheering me on!
Chasing Love & Rainbows
A Novel by TT Dorsett
The Past…
Sitting in my car crying my eyes out, I came to a realization about my life. What I was about to do could change everything for my children. How can a parent tell her children that she may be dying of AIDS, and how can a parent tell her children that it was their father who gave her this disease? Will they hate their father, will they hate me, or will they suffer the way I was suffering? The only conclusion
I came up with was killing their father and me. Why should I let my children see me die and suffer from a disease that has no cure? I refused to let my children see me weak nor especially their weak ass father.
Patrick and I were high school sweethearts. I fell in love with him the first day we laid eyes on each other. He was a dark skinned, fine ass man with skin so smooth it looked like a baby’s ass. Patrick was a transferred student from the Atlanta, Georgia. All of the girls were really into him and I was one of them. I just knew he had to be mine, and I added fire to the pit by giving him the ass on the first date.
After dating most of our high school years I ended up pregnant with my first daughter Paris at 17. Four years later Porsche came and in another four Patrice fo
llowed. After more than a decade together, Patrick and I were never married. Although he lived with us, a commitment was never his cup of tea. I have heard so many stories about him sleeping with other women that I refused to hear them. Hell, I figured since he was living with us and I had three of his children nothing could ever come between us.
Now after twenty years of this shit I had finally opened my eyes wide only to have them shut permanently. I will never see my children grow into beautiful young ladies. That was stripped from me the moment I found out I was going to die. I glanced over at my soon to be dead boyfriend when I saw the fear in his eyes.
“Baby I’m sorry. Please just put the gun down. We can talk about this.”
“Why Patrick?” I said through my tears of pain. “You decided this fate for us, not me. All I ever wanted from you was love and respect. To live happily ever after with the man I loved and the man I thought I could trust with my life. But what did you do in return to me? You’ve been disloyal, dishonest, and you might have given me HIV. You took away my life, my dignity, and my respect.”
“Baby I swear…I didn’t know…we don’t have no… If I had known I would have never…” he said.
“Just shut up! Just shut the fuck up right this instant before I pull the trigger!” I yelled. “You were too busy fucking every Tom, Dick, and Harry to realize it. What you say to me Patrick doesn’t matter anymore. All your lies and promises are falling on deaf ears.”
Taking the gun and pointing it towards his head, I felt so much power in my hands. All I had to do was pull and he would be gone in a blink of an eye. “Are you scared Patrick? I can feel you trembling baby,” I whispered to him in an evil voice. “You don’t look too hot now, huh? Are you sorry you didn’t keep your dick in your pants?” I slid the gun over his penis as he closed his eyes. “What will happen if I blow this piece of shit dick of yours to pieces? Will that solve any of my problems?”
I waited for him to answer, but when he didn’t I became angry and yelled, “No!” as I hit his penis with the butt of the gun. I heard him holler out in pain. He grabbed his dick and I could see tears running down his face. Those tears didn’t mean a goddamn thing to me. Finally he wanted to speak.
“Wa…wa…wait…please…baby…what about the girls?” I took the gun and hit him across the face with it as my anger intensified and I could see the blood dripping down his face.
“You bastard, you’re not concerned about the girls! I will never forgive you for what you did to them…to us!” I wiped the tears from my eyes because I loved my girls with everything within me. I was all they had and this motherfucker messed up everything, all of our lives. I should have just stayed away from his black ass the moment I laid eyes on him. I was silent for five minutes until I was ready to meet the savior.
“Say a prayer Patrick.” I whispered but he didn’t seem to hear me until he heard the click of the gun. I clicked the gun as his eyes got wide and I shot him.
Blood splattered everywhere on me and I could feel my hands shaking as my body became numb and it seemed as though another person had taken over my thirty-seven year old body.
I pointed the gun towards my head and I begin to pray to God to forgive me for the sin I had committed and the sin I was about to commit…suicide. “The Lord is my shepherd…I shall not want… He makes me to lie down in green pastures…He leads me besides the still waters… He restores my soul... He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake… Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me… Your rod and your staff, they comfort me...You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies...You anoint my head with oil, my cup runneth over… Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord. For ever…. BOOM, BOOM!
The Present 8 years later
Chapter 1 ~ Porsche
“Black you up next!” I looked up at the stage manager DJ and said “thanks,” with a provocative smile. Damn, I’m such a tease. I was getting ready to go on stage and perform.
This is what I call my secret life. Black is my stage name, but Porsche is my birth name. I’m a twenty-two year old stripper by night and on weekends and during the day I go to graduate school at the University of Miami. I want to become a social worker, helping children with parents who have HIV, since I learned just four years ago how my parents actually died. Suicide was on the death certificate, but my mom left a tape behind for me and my other sisters describing why she killed herself and my father…HIV; and life hasn’t been the same since.
“Girl it’s hot out there tonight,” Cinnamon said as she exited the stage. She has been my home girl ever since I started stripping about two years ago. She is probably the only one who I let get into my personal space besides my sisters. I don’t fool with females like that because they have too many jealousy issues.
I can’t stand for a female to dislike me and they don’t know shit about who I am as a person. I keep to myself because I know I would bust a bitch in they head for messing with me. It’s my confidence and my beauty that has them hating on me. Yes, I’m bragging because I know when I walk into a room all heads turn my way. I didn’t get the stage name Black for nothing.
I am a chocolate sister with long wavy hair down my back (yes it’s all real, no weave), hazel eyes and a body to die for. I am what you call a 38, 26, and 38. I’m 5’7 and I can dress my ass off. I never go without, and men flock to me like honey. I don’t date often, especially the men in the club where I work. Don’t get me wrong because I love men, it’s just that I have very little trust in them.
It’s hard to please a girl like myself. A man has to step correct to me or don’t step at all. It takes a special man to pull rank on me and I haven’t met him yet.
“So it’s hot out there huh,” I said to Cinnamon.
“Girl yeah, those brothers out there are giving up lots of money tonight!”
She smiled at me. Cinnamon grew up in Overtown, which is a rough part of town in Miami. When I first started dancing she was the only real girl who didn’t take shit from the rest of these bitches around here. We instantly clicked the day she saw one of the girls trying to slip something in my drink before I went out on stage. She knocked the girl on her ass and a fight broke out.
When I came into the room I saw another girl trying to jump in and I immediately had Cinnamon’s back. I punched the girl dead in her face and the fight was on! Cinnamon and I beat the hell out of those two girls that day. We still laugh about what happened, and we’ve been home girls ever since.
“And all that money is going to be mines, ” I winked as I put on my nice black shiny 4 inch stiletto boots that zip all the way to my thigh. It made my teddy look hot! Oh yeah, it was going to be on tonight. I even got my whip to tame these motherfuckers.
I’m the hot item at Club Frenzy’s, the Diamond on Player’s Club. Every time I step on stage every eye is on me. Every weekend I bring home at least three G’s. I never needed money because I had a nice little stash in the bank on top of the money my parents left us.
“Your boy out there,” Cinnamon smirked to herself.
“Again,” I sighed to myself. My boy that Cinnamon is referring to is this guy who’s been trying to get with me for about two months now. He will not give up until I say yes to going out with him.
He has sent flowers, candy, and teddy bears. All that shit is for teenagers and I don’t like cheap gifts. I told you a brother has to step correct or don’t step at all. You have to be creative to win me and right now I see no creativity.
“I tell you Cinnamon if he sends me another flower, teddy bear, or candy I‘m going to cuss his ass out.” Cinnamon burst out laughing until tears were rolling down her face. “What the hell is so funny? I'm not playing. I mean what I say. You know I don’t hold my tongue for nothing, that’s why I’m the most hated bitch up in here. I tell it like it is. I don’t need a weak ass man sending me that teenager shit,” I
said as I rolled my eyes.
“Girl you are crazy! I swear you are going to meet your match one day and it might just be that weak ass man you’re referring to.” She talked to me as she started putting her money in her safe. We both brought a little safe to keep our money in because the girls that work with us are always trying to steal. I will chop their hands off if my money comes up missing.
“Whatever,” I threw up my hands in the air. “That will be the day hell freezes over too!” DJ walked into the room and licked his lips. I swear that man is fine, but he is not for me. He is way too big for my liking. I like a man who has some muscles, DJ has none.
“Yo, Black you up,” said DJ.
“Let the show begin,” I mumbled to myself as I stepped out the door ready to perform. I walked up on the stage with the lights out because that was my trademark to let the audience know that Black is appearing. When the lights came on I could hear the “oohs” and “ah's” of the men. They’re always mesmerized by what I have on.
Tonight I picked the song by Trina “Da Baddest Bitch,” because I am. Plus I have my whip so I can do all type of freaky shit with it. I feel so sorry for the guy that snags me, because I will always keep his ass in a frenzy. As I swirled to the beat of the music, I caught my admirer’s eyes.