by TT Dorsett
I sat there for a while and studied him. He was so handsome. I think dark skinned men attract us Hilton sisters. It’s just something about that deep dark chocolate skin that makes you want to lick it like it’s some sweet piece of candy. I knew the moment I laid eyes on Tony that he was going to be mine.
I never imagined that he would change his ways totally once we started dating, but I knew in my heart that he loved me as much as I loved him. I bent over and kissed him lightly on the lips. He opened his eyes instantly and smiled.
“I thought you were asleep,” I said.
“Nah, I’m not asleep. I was just thinking to myself that’s all,” he said.
“About what,” I asked.
“Us and this baby, I’m looking around at all of these pictures of how the baby’s develop and everything and all I could seem to do is think about my baby growing inside of you,” he said while putting his hands on my stomach.
“What are you saying Tony?” I asked.
Before he could answer the doctor and nurse came into the room. I was a bit surprised because my doctor was a sister, a black woman I could relate to. Thank God for that. I turned and smiled at the doctor.
“Hi I’m Dr. Brown,” the doctor said.
“Hi, I‘m Patrice and this is my boyfriend Antonio,” I said sticking my hand out and she shook it as well as Tony’s hand.
“It’s nice to meet the both of you,” she said, “We tested your urine and it’s confirmed that you are pregnant. Do you know when your last cycle was Patrice?”
“Um, let me see…December 15th,” I said. Doctor Brown took out a round looking thing and studied it for a second, then looked up and smiled at me.
“You are 9 weeks pregnant, which informs me that you are at the beginning stages of your third month of pregnancy. On my chart your due date is September 22. Do you have any questions before I continue?” she asked. I shook my head no, but Tony had something to say.
“You mean to tell me that she is already three months pregnant? That’s so soon. We just found out not too long ago,” he said.
“I know this may come as a surprise Tony, but every 4 weeks turns into a new month of the stages in pregnancy. Most women don’t find out they’re pregnant until they are in their 2nd month of pregnancy.”
“Usually they miss their cycle or feel sick, such as vomiting, nausea, and sore breasts. I’m quite sure Patrice felt all those symptoms, which made her aware that she was pregnant,” the doctor continued.
“So what do we do in the mean time? Does she need anything special to keep the baby safe?” he asked. I smiled at Tony.
I was glad that he was finally accepting the fact that I was pregnant. “Of course,” the doctor said, “I will give her prenatal vitamins that she will have to take every day. It’s to keep her healthy as well as the baby. We will also have to take some blood samples from Patrice.”
“Blood samples? For what,” he asked.
“It’s a procedure that we do with all our patients to make sure she doesn’t have any STD’s and to make sure that nothing else is wrong. If we find anything then we treat them as soon as possible to make sure the momma and baby are in good health,” she said. He looked relieved.
“It’s ok baby,” I said to him as I rubbed his shoulders. He rested his hands back on my stomach as Doctor Brown looked as us with caring eyes.
“Patrice,” said the doctor, “I’m going to give you some information about your pregnancy. It’s a book to read called, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” It is a very good book to learn your body changes and answer any questions you may have.”
The doctor continued, “I will need to see you back in three weeks. By then we should be able to hear the baby’s heart beat.”
“Really,” I asked in excitement.
“Yes you will,” she said and smiled at me. “I need you to go to the lab on the fourth floor and let them take some samples of your blood. Nurse Young will give you the papers you need to take to the lab. In the meantime, relax and enjoy your pregnancy.”
“I’ll try,” I answered. Tony got up from the chair and took my hand. Dr. Brown shook both of our hands and walked out the door. The nurse told us to follow her and she gave me the vitamins, the book and materials about my pregnancy along with the paper for the lab. We went to the lab and we were done in five minutes.
Once we were inside the car Tony looked over at me. “I think I may transfer,” he said. My eyes got big.
“Why?” I practically screamed.
“I don’t want you to have the baby if I’m not here,” he said.
I replied “But Tony that’s way in September, we’re just in March.”
“I know that Precious,” he said, looking at me with sad eyes.
“Baby I don’t want you to throw your dreams away. Please just stay up there. I’ll come up there with you if that’s what it will take,” I said.
“Do you hear yourself, Precious? What about that scholarship you have at Harvard?” he asked.
“I can also get a full scholarship at FSU Tony,” I said, “I have the brains to go to any college I want to go to baby. I will make this sacrifice for us…for you.” I could see the tears in his eyes. “Baby, look at me,” I said. He glanced over at me as I wiped the tears from his eyes.
I could feel myself crying also and said, “We will get through this together. I promise you that. Our love is so strong Tony that we could do anything we set our minds to.” He wiped his face. “I feel like a little bitch crying in front of you,” he said.
“No baby, you’re not. You have feelings just like every human being on this earth, and I’m glad to see this side of you. I love you Tony,” I said.
“I love you to Precious. So when are we going to tell your sisters?” he asked.
“I was thinking next month since I’ll be eighteen then,” I said.
“You think they will care about you being eighteen Precious?” he asked.
“No,” I sighed to myself. “But if we get married then there is nothing they can say or do to me,” I said.
We became quiet for a good ten minutes until Tony said, “Look up some plane tickets for Vegas on your birthday.”
I yelled, “What! Tony I was just joking with you!”
“Well I’m not Precious,” he said, “Why not get married?” I frowned at him.
“I don’t want you to marry me because I’m pregnant Tony,” I said.
“I’m not. I love you Patrice. Let’s do this right. I know we are both young but we were going to get married eventually,” he said.
I hit him in the arm and said, “Oh really. How’d you know I wanted to marry you Mr. Jackson?”
“Girl you know if I asked you to marry me before you got pregnant you would have said yes,” he said. I smiled to myself because he was right.
Hell yeah, I would marry his ass in a heartbeat. That’s what falling head over heels in love means…right? “Well are you going to be Mrs. Jackson or not Precious,” he asked.
“Pull over,” I said.
He asked, “For what?”
“Just pull over,” I said. Tony pulled over the car. I looked at him and said, “Now ask me right.” He got out of the car and came around to open my door. He bent down of one knee and I could feel the tears in my eyes.
“Precious I know that we are in a fucked up situation now, but will you do me the honor of being my wife? Life with you is the only reason I keep going,” he said.
“Tony” I whispered, “Of course I’ll marry you.”
I reached for him and we sealed the deal with a kiss. Having a baby and being married at the age of eighteen? I most definitely knew that my sisters were going to flip out when they learned that I was making a sacrifice to move away to Tallahassee to be with the man I love. But hey, wouldn’t you all do the same thing?
Chapter 9 ~ Paris
I heard the phone ring for the fourth time but I was too weak to get it. This last week has been hell without Marcus, and on top of th
at now I have another sister to look after. Why am I being punished like this? I keep asking this myself over and over again.
Finally the phone stopped ringing, but then it rang again. I glanced over at my clock and it was 7pm in the evening. Why on earth is someone bothering me? Don’t they know that I don’t want to talk to anyone? Shit, how hard is that to understand? I finally picked the phone up.
“This better be good,” I mouthed into the phone.
“Well it’s about time you picked up the damn phone Ms. Click.” Leon said. This day is just getting worse. Out of all the people in the world Leon had to be the one to step in my parade.
“Leon I’m going to kill your ass! I’m in the middle of some much-needed rest! This has been a very hard week for me,” I shouted in the phone.
“Girl, I know that’s why you are going to Iguana’s with me tonight,” he said. He really has lost his mind.
“No I’m not Leon. I don’t feel like it,” I said as I rolled over on my back and look up towards the ceiling.
“Are going to sleep your life away over Marcus?” he asked. I could feel the tears starting to surface in my eyes.
“Ms. Click,” Leon said with harshness in his voice. “Ms. Click, I know you hear me,” he said.
I wiped the tears away and replied, “What Leon? I’m not entitled to my feelings? I’m just trying to sort some shit out okay,” I sniffed into the phone.
“I know sweetie and you can sort that out at Iguana’s tonight. Besides, ladies get in free before midnight,” he added. I smiled to myself finally because I knew what Leon was thinking.
“So I’m guessing you will be dressing in drag tonight,” I said.
“Oh you know me to well honey,” he replied. I looked over at the picture of Marcus, and I began to feel myself getting emotional again. “Come on Paris,” I thought to myself.
“Alright already, I’ll go,” I huffed into the phone.
“Be ready at 11:00,” he said.
“I will,” I agreed.
I hung up the phone and asked myself why I let Leon talk me into going to a club. I got up and took a long hot bath, and couldn’t stop myself from crying. The tears just fell freely. I was deeply hurt and after being involved for eleven long years how can you not be hurt? All I ever wanted from Marcus was marriage, his baby, and his loyalty. Is that too much to ask for in a man?
I leaned back as the Jacuzzi bubbles began to hit all the right spots on my body, and closed my eyes. I wondered what I was lacking as a woman. What did Marcus see in that stripper that he didn’t see in me? It’s not like I am ugly or anything. My hair is long; I have hazel eyes, a nice body, full breasts, and a nice personality.
Was he bored after being together for so long? Maybe he needed a change. It’s not like I lacked in the bedroom. I’m always doing things to spice up the bedroom scene. My nana once told me you “have to be a man’s momma, wife, and his whore.”
Hell, I was all three to Marcus. He never had to ask for anything from me. I cooked him meals, I cleaned his dirty boxers, and went to all of his home games to support him, as well as some away games. I rubbed him down after every game he played. I was a good ass girlfriend who played “Wifey” for too damn long.
How could I not have a ring after all this time? How stupid was I? I was so caught up in love that I failed to see who I am as a person? I lost myself in Marcus when I surrounded myself with him. Why…because I was in love that’s why, and I would never lose myself like that again…never.
We stepped in the waiting line at Iguanas. Leon quickly made his way to the front and we were escorted to VIP. When I first walked down the stairs to greet Leon he whistled.
“Girl, if I didn’t like men you would be mine,” he said.
I asked, “You like?”
“Yeah, but I know that’s not your dress,” he said.
“Ok, so it’s Porsche’s. You know I would not be caught dead in this little mini ass dress. But I like it,” I said and twirled around for him to get a better look.
“It looks good on you,” he said.
“Thanks,” I replied.
Then when we were in VIP, I was feeling a little naked. Call me crazy but I’m not like my sister with my sexuality. She can flaunt her stuff and don’t give a damn if it all hangs out. I’m more conservative.
“Girl, do you see the men in this place?” Leon exclaimed.
I glanced around and said, “Yeah, there are some fine brothers in here.”
“Let’s find a seat,” I said. We walked around until we found a table. The music was pretty good and the crowd was nice.
A waitress came to our table and said, “The gentleman over there would like to buy you a drink.” I turned my head to see a light skinned brother.
“Thanks,” I replied, “I’ll have a glass of Cristal. Leon?”
“Big spender,” he said with a grin, “I’ll have the same thing.” She left and I was bopping my head to the music listening to Ciara “If I Were a Boy.” The light skinned brother came over and asked if I wanted to dance.
“Sure,” I said.
I took his hand and we went downstairs. As soon as we got the middle they switched the song to Beyoncé’s “Love on Top.” I actually liked the song so I started moving to the beat and found myself having a good time.
The brother didn’t even try to push on me hard or even grope me like must guys would. For some strange reason I could feel someone watching me, and as I looked up at the VIP section I saw Marcus glaring at me. My heart stopped, but I turned around quickly and kept dancing. After the music was over I thanked him and made my way to the ladies room.
I had to get myself together. I could not let him see me weak and fragile. Quickly I took one last look at myself and made my way back upstairs. When I got there Marcus was nowhere to be found and I was glad. When I sat down Leon was already giving the scoop.
“Girl, your man is here and he didn’t look too pleased when he saw you. His eyes almost popped out of his head,” Leon said, while laughing hard. “I’m telling you Paris, if you could have seen him girl,” he said still laughing. I glanced around again. “He went downstairs, probably went looking for you,” he said.
I replied, “Oh well.”
I brushed it off, but inside I was dying. I have never hung out like this before and especially dressed like this. I was a nervous wreck, and I knew Marcus and I were about to have a confrontation.
“Don’t look now, but here he comes and his face does not look happy in the least bit,” Leon warned.
Before I had a chance to glance over my shoulder, Marcus snatched me out of my seat. I didn’t know where we were going but I found out as soon as we entered the office of the owner. Marcus’s eyes fell on me with such a hard stare as he thanked the owner for letting him use the office. When the owner left the office, Marcus pushed me hard against the wall.
“Ouch Marcus, you’re hurting me,” I said through tears. He was scaring the hell out of me. I had never seen him this angry.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” he demanded.
“A dress!” I yelled back stepping in his face.
“This is not a dress! You look like a whore!” he yelled back. Tears were streaming down my face.
“I thought that’s what you like Marcus…whores. It seems you can’t keep your dick out of them,” I replied. He pounded the wall behind my head with his palm and I jumped.
“You driving me crazy Paris! You walk out of the house with this little ass dress on, then I see you on the dance floor with a nigga shaking yo’ ass,” he said. I glared back at him with hate in my eyes.
“Did you expect me to just cry all over the place Marcus, huh? I’m not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself over your ignorant ass”. I pushed his chest some.
“Oh now I’m ignorant,” he said angrily. I smirked at him.
“You became ignorant when you fucked a dirty stripper who could probably give me and you AIDS. How could you do that Marcus? What, I wasn’t go
od enough for you,” I asked.
“You are,” he said and tried to touch me but I pushed his hands away. “I love you more than I love myself Paris. I really fucked up and I’m sorry. Please just give us another chance,” he pleaded.
“No,” I said in a rush, “I can’t.” I nervously touched my hair.
“Why,” he said, with his face-hardening. “You ain’t fucking anyone else,” he said.
“How you know that,” I asked.
Marcus grabbed my jaws and squeezed both tight and said, “If I ever find out you are fucking someone else I will kill him and you! You understand that Paris,” he said as he let go of me.