by Sienna Parks
“You think? The thought of being a dad scares the crap out of me.”
“I know. I watch you with Rae. She adores you, and anyone with eyes can see you would die for that little girl. I wish I had an uncle like that growing up. She’s so blessed to have her daddy and you.”
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“Believing in me.” I wish I could stay and talk, but my first appointment will be arriving at the center shortly, and I need to open up.
“So… I’ll find out why he’s in town, and if we need to talk face to face, I’ll arrange it.”
“Okay. Don’t waste your day thinking about this. Go, and I’ll open the center and be over in a little while with Misty.” He kisses the tip of my nose and goes back to preparing the horses for a day of therapy work. His words play on my mind, and I begin to worry—what if meeting Jeb changes the way Jax feels about me? He struggled to get past our familial connections and the labels that would once have applied to us. If he meets his father face to face, it might bring those doubts to the surface again. It will be right there in front of him—the father who abandoned him—and raised me.
A.B. and I have grown close in recent months since she found out I’m her sister-in-law. It’s good on days like these to have a trusted friend to take my concerns to. Jax doesn’t know, but I reached out to Jeb and asked him why he’s in town. We didn’t talk in person, but I know his number, and I wanted as little contact with him as possible. True to form, his indifference to me is astounding.
Jeb McKinney came back to Kingsbury Falls after thirty years of obscurity, not to see his son or the girl he raised as his daughter—he came to sell McKinney Hardware and let us watch while he does it. I know his net worth, and this is pocket change to him. This is personal.
“What am I going to tell him, A.B.? Jeb just wants to make us as miserable as he is. This is so cruel and spiteful. If I’d never come here, Jackson’s family business wouldn’t be getting sold to the highest bidder right now.”
“First of all, take a breath, Sav. Jax would hand over that place in a heartbeat if it were a choice between it and you. Second of all, he won’t be wounded by this. I promise you. His anger toward his dad died a long time ago. The only reason he’s upset about Jeb being in town is because he’s worried about you. He’s scared you’ll have second thoughts about making a life here with him.”
“I hope you’re right because I can’t stand the idea of Jackson hurt because of me.”
“This isn’t your fault. You didn’t ask for any of this. You came to find your family, and you did. We love you, and Maddox isn’t going to let anything get in the way of your happiness. He’ll run Jeb out of town himself if he has to.”
“I can handle this myself. I just needed to talk it out. I haven’t told Jax I spoke to him yet, and I need to tell him about the hardware store tonight before he hears it elsewhere.”
“Okay. We can all grab some dinner here in town, and then you can take him home, go sex crazy, and tell him after all the hot lovin’.” She can always make me laugh.
“Is that your professional opinion?”
“Yes. Doctor’s orders!”
Two hours later, we’re all together at the only Italian restaurant in town. I love that we eat dinner together. I grew up with a nanny making meals for one. My mom and dad weren’t big on family time, so it never seemed important. It’s great to be part of a real loving family. Jax and Maddox make jokes and talk sports all through dinner, Pops and Rae enjoy philosophical conversation about why Pluto is Mickey’s pet and can’t speak, while Goofy wears clothes and walks upright.
A.B. is distracted tonight by constant little glances with Mad and knowing smiles. There’s something going on with them, but she’s playing her cards close to her heart tonight, which is so unlike her.
“So, are you going to talk to Jax when you get home?” Her attempt at a whisper is more of a foghorn.
“Talk to me about what?” He looks at me with a questioning stare as everyone at the table goes silent.
“Nothing. We can talk about it later.”
“It’s obviously not nothing if you want to tell me later. Should I be worried? Is this about Jeb?”
“Can we just drop it?” He shakes his head knowing the answer to his question.
“Did you see him?”
“No.”
“Did you talk to him?” I don’t want to lie to him, but I don’t want to talk about this with everyone listening in. I look to A.B. in desperation, my eyes begging her to help me. Her chair screeches on the old tile floor as she stands and moves to the other side of the table where Maddox is sitting.
“It’s time. Tell them.” He looks shocked but knows better than to refuse her.
“We got a call this morning. We’ve been approved for adoption.” Jax is successfully sidetracked.
“I thought you already adopted Rae?” A.B. beams with pride as she looks to her daughter.
“I have, but that got us thinking. I can’t have biological children, and we want Rae to have siblings, so we started the process for both of us to be approved. We got confirmation this morning that our application was successful, and there is a baby girl in Austin who they think would be a good fit for us.” We congratulate them in unison before taking turns hugging them. I pull A.B. into my arms as her eyes fill with tears.
“I’m so happy for you. You are an amazing mom, and any kid is going to be lucky to become a part of your family.” She squeezes me tight.
“Our family.”
As we toast the happy news and sit down to dessert, I thank A.B. for the stay of execution. Jax is deep in conversation with Mad about the entire process and how exciting it will be to have another kid running around Mustang. It’s so cute to watch, and I can’t help but relate to the baby girl who may be joining this family in the coming months. It’s a gift to be welcomed into such a beautiful environment with such loving people. And then it dawns on me—I’m going to be an aunt to this child. I’m already so in love with Sally Rae, and to know I’ll be accepted from the moment this baby arrives is overwhelming.
“Darlin’, what’s wrong?” Jax notices a single tear as it escapes.
“Nothing. I’m just so happy. I love you all, and I feel so blessed to have you in my life. And I’m going to be an aunt again!” I feel foolish breaking down at the dinner table, but I can’t contain my joy when Jax wraps his arms around me and plants a soft kiss on my head.
“When are you going to agree to marry me, woman?” I lift my chin gazing up into his eyes as I pull him in for a kiss.
“Well, well, well. Isn’t this cozy? Can you smell that? The overpowering stench of incest.” Jax’s body tightens around me, every muscle taut and ready for a fight. He knows who’s speaking without turning his head. Pops places a hand on his shoulder to try and calm him, but I’m scared there will be no stopping him if Jeb opens his mouth again.
“Jeb McKinney. What stone did you crawl out from under?”
“I wasn’t talking to you, old man. I have business with my son and my daughter, you know, the ones who were just making out with each other.” He leans around Pop with Maddox in his sights.
“And you. It must make you pig sick to see your sister shacking up with my boy. Hale women have always had a soft spot for us McKinney’s. Couldn’t drop their panties fast enough. Your mother was the same way until she died. God, I hated that woman.” Jax lets go of me at the sight of Maddox lunging toward Jeb throwing himself in front of him.
“He’s not worth it, Mad. Don’t listen to him.”
“How’s your dad, Maddox? Oh, that’s right, he’s dead too.” The next few minutes are a blur as Jax steps aside and lets Mad loose before turning to see his father for the first time—his hand fisted and swinging toward Jeb’s face. Maddox takes him down with a punch to the stomach before the staff steps in. Maddox is shouting and fighting against four men who are attempting to hold him back.
“I’ll kill you. Do you h
ear me? I will kill you.” A.B. grabs Rae and pulls Pops out of the way before he gets caught in the crossfire. She’s screaming at me to go with her, but I can’t leave Jax. He hears my name and immediately stops fighting the waiters who are struggling to keep hold of him.
“I’m okay. Leave me be.” The second they loosen their grip, he shouts my name and tells me to go.
“Go with A.B. I got this. I need you to go.” I do as he asks for fear Jeb will use me against him if I stay. I hear Jeb yelling in the background as I head for the exit.
“That’s it. Run back to the Hale’s. Just like your mother.” When I don’t give him the satisfaction of reacting, he turns his attention to Jax.
“You’re even more of a disappointment than I remember. You couldn’t get a woman, so you slept with your sister? That’s low, even for you.” As the door closes behind me, I hear the sound of bone hitting bone followed by a loud cracking noise.
Rae is sobbing her little heart out in the parking lot as Pops lifts her into the backseat of the truck. A.B. strides toward me ready to go inside and stand by Maddox for whatever happens next, but I know he wouldn’t want that—she’d be a distraction. He and Jax have never had any closure over their mother and father abandoning them to leave town together. No matter the outcome, they need to work it out themselves.
“You can’t go back in.”
“I have to. I need to see if Mad is okay!” I physically restrain her pulling her into my arms to give her whatever comfort I can and to stop myself from running back through those doors. Minutes feel like hours as we wait for them to come out, and the police arrive before we catch sight of the carnage inside. They emerge moments later with Jeb in handcuffs, his face bleeding and barely able to walk.
“We were notified that this gentleman attacked Maddox Hale and Jackson McKinney this evening. They’ll need to come down to the station in the morning to make a statement, but eyewitnesses confirmed he was the instigator and our young men were merely defending themselves.” They give us a wink and nod before pushing Jeb in the back of the patrol car and leaving us to tend to Jax and Maddox.
I run inside fearful of what I might find, but the moment I set eyes on them, I know they’re okay. A.B. throws herself into Mad’s arms checking his face for wounds and asking if he’s hurt. When Jax sees me, whatever resolve he has left falters. He drops his head into his hands wincing as his knuckles touch his forehead.
There could be eight or eighty people in the room, but all I see is Jax. I drop to my knees in front of him pulling his face to mine.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. Are you okay? Do you need an icepack for your hand?” When his eyes find mine, my heart shatters at the sight of tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I came from a monster. I don’t deserve you. I’m not a good person. I was only three when he left, and he has nothing but hatred for me. I was three… I was just a baby.” He repeats those words over and over burying his head in my neck, clinging to me—the lost little boy he once was. I crawl into his lap wrapping my arms around him holding him tight.
“You are not a monster. I love you, Jackson. I’ll never leave you. I’m here, and I’m yours. Always.” I stroke his hair praying he listens to my words. If he succumbs to that darkness, it will pull him under. I watched Jeb’s hateful words destroy my mother, I won’t sit back and let the same thing happen to Jax.
By the time we make it back to the ranch, Rae is sound asleep in Pops’ arms. The boys sit quietly on the couch while A.B. makes icepacks for their hands, and I pour them both a shot of bourbon. I don’t know what else to do. The four of us sit in shock at the turn of events. I knew Jeb would cause trouble, but I had no idea it would be this devastating. Maddox finally breaks the silence.
“Can you girls leave us alone for a few minutes? Jax and I need to talk.” I don’t want to leave Jax’s side, but if anyone can talk to him right now, it’s Mad. I hug my brother before kissing Jax on the cheek forcing him to make eye contact.
“I’ll be in our room if you need me. Come to bed soon. You need some rest.” His blank stare chills me to my core.
“I won’t be long.”
I lie awake for hours staring at the ceiling with A.B. beside me waiting for Jackson to come to bed. In the end, she can’t keep her eyes open. When the door opens at 2:00 a.m., I hear Mad’s voice before he scoops his wife into his arms and takes her to bed.
“I’m glad they fell asleep. Tonight was intense, and I think the rest of the conversation can wait until morning.” Jax’s voice is barely a whisper. He doesn’t want to talk. He sounds exhausted. When he crawls into bed, he brushes my hair back from my face before planting a tender kiss on my neck.
“I’m sorry I let you down tonight. I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just don’t leave me.” I twist in his arms.
“You didn’t let me down.” Just as I feared, my words are his undoing. Pulling me tight to his chest, his jagged breaths are agonizing. My strong man is a broken boy. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I need you, Savannah.”
“Always.” It’s a long time before he settles into a fitful sleep waking himself up with nightmares of childhood memories long forgotten. When I think he’s finally asleep, I caress the scruff on his jaw wishing I could take his pain away.
“Stay with me. Marry me, Savannah.” His words fade away as he rests in my arms, sleep taking over.
“Yes.”
JAX
Seeing the man who gave me life was a bigger kick in the gut than I thought it would be. I’ve always told myself he doesn’t matter, and his issues were with my mom rather than me, but last night brought feelings to the surface I never knew existed.
When I found out Savannah had been raised by my dad, so many emotions went through my mind. If he could stick around for a kid he knew wasn’t his, then why couldn’t he do that for me? What was so horrible about me at such a young age? Hearing his vitriolic tirade last night was a shock. Instantly, I knew Savannah had suffered through a difficult upbringing, and that consumed any rational thought.
If it weren’t for Maddox, I think I would’ve packed my bags and left town then and there. He knew I was on edge last night—they all knew—but I couldn’t talk to Savannah. I couldn’t explain to her how inadequate I felt—how sorry I am my father has treated her so badly, and how for a split second, I felt ashamed of myself for our non-existent family ties. As soon as I thought it, I knew there’s nothing wrong about the way I feel for Savannah. There never was, and there never will be. She’s the love of my life, and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve to be in our lives.
Mad sat with me for hours talking about his feelings for his mother, and the fact Bobby never told him about her return to Kingsbury Falls. He doesn’t like sharing personal shit with people—even me—so I knew it was something that had been tearing him up inside for a long time. He and I had such similar experiences early in life, and yet we never thought to take comfort in that with each other. Now we know our situations were caused by the same decision—our parents leaving with each other. It’s a bond deeper than friendship.
When I told him how Jeb’s crass words had the desired effect, cheapening what I have with Savannah, if only for a second, he stepped back into the role of brother and best friend. He’s been good with me dating his sister for a while now, but I know it was a difficult time for him, and although things have been better between us, they weren’t quite what they used to be. Last night, he was the Mad I’ve always known—the one who’s always had my back.
“If you give that asshole the satisfaction of driving a wedge between you and Savannah, then he wins. You can’t let that happen. He doesn’t deserve a second of our time. I wish I didn’t take the bait but fuck… when he mentioned my dad, I just saw red.”
“I get it. Hearing him shit-talk Savannah made me murderous. I’ve been plenty angry in my life, but I’ve never been pushed to the point where I could put a bullet in a man’s chest with no remorse. If I’d
had my gun, I would’ve killed him, and that scares the shit out of me.”
“He would’ve deserved it.”
“You struggled with the idea of Savannah and me. Do you think I’m doing something wrong? Was I right when I tried to stay away from her?”
“Fuck no, and if you get any ideas about leaving her now, I’ll beat the crap out of you.”
“I’m not. I just want your honest opinion. Does the entire town think our relationship is morally wrong?”
“No. I never had a problem with the fact you could’ve been step-siblings at one point before you even met. I was dealing with my issues. Becoming a brother at thirty-three was unexpected and navigating the boundaries when she’s dating you is hard. I wanted to do right by her like my daddy would’ve done. She’s young, and I didn’t want her to get hurt… or for her to hurt you anymore than she already had. I saw how cut up you were when she left.”
“Thanks, man.”
“But now, I have zero doubts you two were meant for each other. I couldn’t pick anyone better to love and watch out for her. I know you’ll take care of her, and she’ll do the same for you. I love you, man. I want you to be happy.”
“I love you, too, but let’s never share our feelings like this ever again.”
“Agreed.”
Savannah has been tentative with me in the days following our confrontation with Jeb. Every morning she insists A.B. check my hand—it was only a little bruised and bloodied—nothing to worry about, but all she does is worry. Jeb was charged with assault, and no amount of money was going to convince the county judge to throw out his case. He fled town the second his bail was posted, and we haven’t heard from him again. Once a coward, always a coward.
Savannah told me about the hardware store, but to honest, I’m glad he’s selling it. I don’t want anything that links me to him. My mom is pissed after running the place for thirty years, but I hired her a good lawyer who should be able to get her more than enough compensation to kiss goodbye to that place. I fronted the lawyer bill on one condition—I don’t have to deal with it, and she never mentions his name to me ever again. I think it’s the first time she’s ever shown anything close to parental concern for me.