Denying the Watcher

by Kim Loraine

  “Fine. Get out. I’ll … I don’t know what I’ll do.” She turns away, her shoulders tense and posture hostile.

  Fuck. I’m an asshole. But she’s fed from me at least three times if it works the same way it does with me. I come, Sariel feeds. Is that how she feeds? By me spilling my orgasm inside her? Or does she feed from her own pleasure? If I’m an incubus, that must make her a succubus. My head is a jumbled mess of confusion as my thoughts race from one conclusion to the next.

  Reaching for her, I let my hands hover over her thin shoulders, not allowing myself to touch. If I touch her, I’ll pull her against me, and then I won’t be able to walk away. But, she’s everything. How can I leave her? Then I feel the air around us change. An undeniable wave of need washes over me as pheromones fill the room. My cock pushes against the denim covering it, and my fangs descend as lust rushes through my system. Fuck. I can’t want her again.

  “Devin?” She sounds like she’s in pain, like she needs me to ease some deep ache. As she turns toward me, I notice the faint glow in her irises before she’s on me, her mouth crushing against mine, tongue delving deep, twining with my own in a passionate dance. She’s got me backed up and sitting on the bed before I can protest. Her legs are wrapped around my hips, hands tangled in my hair, and I can feel the press of her hard nipples against my chest as she clings to me. Breaking the kiss, she presses her cheek to mine and murmurs, “It’s not enough. I need more. Everything hurts. What’s happening to me?”

  Panic sets in, making my stomach turn to stone. I search for Sariel, hoping he’ll give me some idea of how to help her, but he’s locked himself away, clearly not wanting anything to do with the Watcher inside my Willow.

  Her hot little hands slide over my chest as she continues to lick and kiss along my jaw, down my neck, sending fire racing through my blood. I’ll give her everything she needs. Grinding her core against my straining erection, she moans and bites my neck, hard enough that, were I human, she’d have drawn blood. I let out a soft grunt of pain and buck my hips.

  Pushing me until my head hits the bed, she stands and slides my pants over my hips and down my legs. The glow in her eyes is brighter with every moment that passes, but the pleading look she gives me makes my heart cry out to help. She needs me. I can give this to her. I’m stronger than a human. She can’t kill me like this. I hope.

  Her shorts fall to the floor, and I expect her to mount me without ceremony, but she takes her bottom lip between her teeth and balls her hands into fists.

  “Don’t fight it, Angel. Take what you need from me. I’ll be okay.”

  She shakes her head even as she’s reaching for me. “It made you sick. I might kill you.”

  “Can’t die, remember?”

  Sadness fills her eyes. “Everything dies eventually. You should know that better than anyone.”

  Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. “Yeah, you’re right. And, I’m pretty sure if you don’t get a handle on your Watcher, you’ll die sooner than the rest of us. So come over here and take what I’m offering. Then we’ll figure this out.”

  The emerald glow in her irises increases until I know she’s not Willow any longer. A sick feeling takes hold in my stomach as a wicked grin spreads across her face.

  “You think she’ll get a handle on me? Oh no, vampire. She’s going to be nothing but a shell when I’m through with her.” Her voice has taken on a haughty tone, so unlike my Willow. “It’s been a long time since I was able to truly feed, but now that I’m in her body, I’m going to have fun draining you of your essence. I see why Sariel wants so badly to find his mate. Sex is so much more satisfying than blood.”

  My chest aches. Sex or blood. Those are the only ways a Watcher can feed. The first fills them, the second only sustains them temporarily. Sort of like Thanksgiving dinner versus a salad. Willow is human. She has only one way to feed her Watcher. Me.

  “I see your mind working. She won’t last long, you know. Her little human body will fade quickly unless you keep me happy. Of course, what I truly need is Sariel to join with us. If he does, I can promise you she’ll be taken care of.”

  She shudders, blinking hard a few times before looking back at me. “Devin, you have to leave. Get out of here before they get what they want.”

  Her eyes flash again and a snarl rips from her throat. “Don’t move a muscle. She is disposable. Keep that in mind. I can find another vessel easily, but if I do, she dies. You’ll provide me what I need if you really love her. I see it in you, that spark. You won’t let anything hurt her.”

  Gut clenching, I stand and pull up my jeans. “Do I love her? Are you so sure?” Leading with my hips, I back her up against the wall. “Maybe I just wanted a good …” I nip her lower lip. “Hard …” I slide my hand between her legs and cup her heat. “Fuck.”

  She shudders and moans, still affected by me. “Yes,” she breathes.

  With my fingers deep inside her, I grip both of her hands in my free one and trap them. There’s a robe hanging on the wall, and without giving her time to react, I pull my fingers from her body, snag the belt, and tie her wrists.

  “What are you doing?”

  Smirking, I scoop her into my arms. “Nothing gets my blood flowing like a little light bondage. Maybe I’ll take your ass tonight like I promised. Will that feed you, or do I need to come inside your pussy?”

  As I toss her on the bed, she moans. “I need your essence.”

  Lifting her hands over her head, I thank God her headboard is made of wrought iron bars. With a few tugs of the belt, I secure her wrists above her on the sturdy bed. She looks so fucking sexy like that, bare and glistening for me. But then I remember why. She’s not herself, not now.

  “Devin.” Her panicked voice makes my heart jump. “There’s a box of restraints in my top drawer. This tie isn’t going to hold.”

  I want to tease her for having a BDSM streak, but the fear in her eyes changes my tune. I nod and find the box. She wasn’t fucking kidding me. Chains, handcuffs, rope, and more wooden stakes fill the heavy metal container.

  “Use the cuffs. My legs too.” She’s fighting for control, her limbs shaking as I approach.

  Grabbing a pair of leather-lined cuffs with a heavy chain linking them, I secure her ankles and slip the key into my pocket. Then I return to her wrists, doing the same and attaching them to the headboard once again.

  A vicious laugh falls from her lips, sending a shiver down my spine as I realize I’ve lost Willow again. “Oh, you naughty boy. You think you can contain me here? I’ll make your woman suffer until you give me what I want.”

  “Fuck off, Watcher. You kill her and I’ll make sure Gabriel smites your ass.”

  I’m bluffing. If Willow dies, I don’t think I’ll recover enough to do a damn thing.

  Walking out the door, I fight to keep my shaking body under control. There’s no way to keep Willow safe when the danger is inside her. I have no idea what to do. But I’ve got as close a direct line to God as I’m going to get, and if Gabriel doesn’t have an answer for me, I don’t know where else to turn.

  All I know is, Willow has to be saved before my time with Sariel is up.

  I’m done with this asshole in my head. He … she … it needs to realize I signed an eviction notice about ten seconds after I realized it was here. Over and over, my body continues to be stolen from me as I wait for Devin to come back. I don’t know what he’ll do. I’m not sure he can help me at all, to be honest. There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I’m pretty sure it means this only ends one way. With me in a pine box.

  That’s not true, little human. There’s another way out.

  Finally, the Watcher speaks. It’s weird to hear my own voice in my head when I’m not the one using it.

  “What way?”

  Let me call my leader. He can save you. You can be with Devin again.

  I’m not an idiot. These are the bad guys, that much is abundantly clear, but if I can figure out a way out
of this with my life intact, I’m open.

  “What’s the catch?”

  No catch. Aside from you letting me get a head start out of town. I don’t like your vessel. There’s a reason the fallen chose vampires over humans. Your little bodies can’t withstand the force of our grace.

  “If you’re fallen, how do you even have grace?”

  We lost our wings, but our grace is like our blood. The blood of the fallen may be weaker, but it is still strong enough to burn up a human from the inside out.

  I shudder at the visual. “Aren’t you a guy? Why are you inside me?” Before the Watcher can answer, I chuckle. “Oh … you’re gay. I get it.”

  Anger snaps in my head, making me wince. I can choose any vessel I wish, but it’s true, I’d have preferred to take a male host. I find fucking a woman so much more pleasing, and the feeding is … more effective.

  “What do you mean?” My skin crawls at the thought of him using me to feed on Devin.

  A woman’s body is so different from a man’s. The ability to create life, for instance, takes its own special magic. We are able to feed on that when we spill our seed inside a woman. Here, inside you, I’m starving all the time. You can take from him, but he can’t sustain a life like a female can. He has less power for me to feed off, and Sariel takes from you even as I take from Devin. To keep this up, we’ll have to drain him dry just to survive a week.

  My stomach twists. I don’t want this. I don’t want to have an intruder in my head, calling the shots, making me hurt Devin.

  “Fine, call your leader. I want out.” I couldn’t care less who he calls as long as I can get this over with.

  The Watcher laughs, and my ears pop as the air around us shifts. The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen stands before me. His benevolent smile and soft gaze eases my worry.

  “Hello, Willow. It looks like you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble.”

  I nod. I have no words for this being. I just want to stare at him and bask in his aura.

  “And you, Armaros. What is wrong with you? Why would you take a human? You could have easily turned her before letting go of Mark.”

  Suddenly, my mouth is speaking words I have no control of. “She staked him. I had just enough time to get inside her before I’d have been sent to purgatory. Please believe me.”

  The beautiful man shakes his head, staring down sadly at his feet. “I really didn’t want it to end like this. Purgatory is the best place for a fuckup like you, Armaros.”

  Calm washes over me as I realize he’s going to send the Watcher away. I’ll be free. Things can go back to how they were. Until his eyes harden and he extends dark black wings tipped in crimson liquid. With a quick flick of his wrist, my bindings come undone, but I can’t move. My arms flop uselessly by my sides as he slashes the length of my forearms with two sure strokes of an invisible blade. They bleed immediately. He’s cut me deep. Panic starts to build in my chest, but he rests a hand on my forehead.

  “Hush, darling. It will be over soon. I can save you if you wish. Join me and live. All you have to do is swear your loyalty. You can have Devin, you can have your vengeance, you can even live forever if you want. Just say the word, and I’ll give it all to you.”

  In that instant, I know who he is. I know what he wants. And there’s no way I’m giving it to him. With me gone, Devin will fulfill his bargain and his soul will be saved. With me gone, he won’t be distracted and they can win their war. With me gone, he stands a chance at redemption.

  I’m already so weak, my lips can barely form the words. Lucifer leans in, his chiseled face close to my mouth as I whisper, “Go to Hell.”

  “Willow!” I smell the blood, thick, coppery, and plentiful, as soon as I step through her door.

  Something isn’t right, and as the air shifts, a sense of despair cloaks me. Angels. Someone is here, with her, hurting her.

  Running to her room, I stop and fight the bloodlust rising as I see her. She’s still breathing, her chest rising and falling in shallow pants, but her skin is so pale.

  “Who did this? Willow? Talk to me, Angel. Who?”

  She’s trying, her lips move, but no sound comes out. All she can do is shake her head as she bleeds freely from her wrists. I race into her bathroom, grabbing every towel I can find to stanch the bleeding. Pressing the fabric to the precise cuts while I tear at the skin of my wrist and hold it to her mouth, I pray for the first time in a very long time. She frowns, moving her mouth away from my offering.

  “No,” she manages.

  I pull her into my lap and press my wrist to her again. “Willow, you have to drink. You’ll die if you don’t.”

  Shaking her head again, she seals her lips.

  “Fuck, Willow! Come on. You can’t leave me. Not now. I just found you.”

  But she’s stubborn, refusing me with the will of a warhorse, and I’m crumbling. The only thing I can give her to keep her going is soaking into the floor along with her life. Her pulse has slowed to a nearly imperceptible rhythm now. It’s only a matter of a few short minutes until she’s gone, and I can’t do a fucking thing about it.

  “Gabriel, please!” I scream his name, not caring about the neighbors, or the time, just needing his help. I’d spent hours calling for him tonight as I roamed the city with no results, and now, with nothing left, here I was begging for his attention. “Answer me this time, you fucking winged asshole!”

  “Oh, Devin. What have you done?” Gabriel’s voice makes me cringe. He sounds almost amused at my plight as I sit here while the woman I love dies in my arms.

  “It wasn’t me. One of you did this. I felt it.”

  His eyebrows rise in question. “I assure you, none of my brothers did this. We don’t need to kill her.” He reaches out and places a hand on her head. “Oh, but she has a Watcher inside her. I see. Lucifer always was the twisted sort.”

  My vision runs red as waves of rage course through me. “Lucifer did this?”

  “Most likely. She must be strong, to refuse him.”

  “Fix her.” The tightness in my words betrays my slim margin of control.

  He shakes his head and sighs. “I can’t. She’s a breath away from Heaven either way. Her body can’t handle the Watcher for long. He’ll burn up her soul as he uses her body. And when she dies, her Watcher will be sent to purgatory.”

  “Fine. Thanks for nothing.” Gritting my teeth, I look at her. I might be a selfish prick, but there’s no way I’m letting her die. Even if she hates me for eternity, at least she’ll still be here. Tilting her head back, I open her mouth. She’s not fighting me now, because all the fight has left her. I break the skin of my wound again and let my blood trickle into her mouth, willing her to swallow.

  “Devin. Stop this.” Gabriel’s voice holds the barest hint of warning.

  “No. She can’t die. Not now.” A tear slips down my cheek, and I want to scream in rage and frustration. She can’t leave me. I won’t allow it.

  “You’re condemning her soul to purgatory.”

  “But she’ll be alive. She’ll be with me.” But then it dawns on me. Sariel. The transfer of a Watcher from one host to the next typically happens during the process of making a vampire. Is this going to kill me? I don’t fucking care. If I go down saving her, so be it.

  She already has a Watcher, Devin. I have nowhere to move on to.

  It doesn’t matter anyway. As I hold my wrist to her mouth, desperation claws at me with every second that passes. She doesn’t move, doesn’t swallow or latch onto my skin.

  She’s gone.

  I’ve lost her.

  My mouth tastes funky. Like, really funky. What the hell happened last night? Looking around my room, you wouldn’t know anything was out of place. Everything is as neat as though a stager came through and set it up for a showing. But these aren’t the clothes I was wearing earlier. This quilt is my spare, and I can smell blood somewhere in my home.

  Someone is watching a talk show outside my door. I can hear
it so clearly, they must have the volume up way too loud. I’m sure I’ll get hit with a noise complaint. Standing, I expect to wobble a bit as my body wakes up, but I feel strong, as if I’ve had my morning shot of caffeine and just finished an exhilarating run.

  I roll my head from side to side, expecting some aches and pains, but find none. It’s then that I hear voices, clear as day, through my fucking floor.

  “Are you going to talk to her about all the yelling? Last night was ridiculous.”

  “Honey, I don’t think she gives a shit.”

  “Well, if you won’t be a man and go say something, I’ll do it.”

  A door slams, and I can hear the footsteps come up the stairs and down the hall before stopping at my apartment. I’m out of my room and opening my front door without thinking about it. What the fuck?

  “What?” I snap.

  I can hear the woman’s heart beating in her chest. Her pulse sends a vein jumping under her skin, and my mouth waters with hunger.

  No. No. No.

  This can’t be happening. But I’m so hungry. Sharp teeth descend from my gums, and I reach for her, but Devin’s hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me from ripping the woman’s throat out. He slams the door in her face and grips me tightly.

  “It worked. It fucking worked.” Disbelief colors his tone as he crushes me against his body.

  “What did you do?” I push him away, unable to hide the horror in my voice as the memory of what happened hits me. I died. Lucifer killed me because I wouldn’t swear loyalty to him. “I should be dead.” Holding my bare arms out in front of me, I search for the long, deep lacerations that should have resulted in my demise. My arms show nothing but smooth, creamy skin. “Devin? What the fuck did you do to me?”

  Guilt crosses his face, changing the rugged beauty to a tragic mask. I know the truth. I don’t want to admit it, but I know. He turned me. He fucking turned me.

  “I’m—”

  “No! Fuck! You didn’t … don’t say it, Devin. Don’t tell me you made me into the one thing I hate more than anything else in the world.”