“I told her what she wanted to know.” Raina was a bit disgusted with herself about that.
“I imagine you just gave her the essentials. That was good.”
“And what are the essentials, Shep? That we’re friends? Is that what we are?”
The tension between them had coiled inside of her so tight that her chest hurt. She needed to know what Shep was thinking, whether or not he was going to be involved in her life and her—their—baby’s.
An expression passed over his face that was something akin to determination. She didn’t understand it until he rose with Manuel and settled him into his play saucer. Once the toddler was occupied, Shep stood right in front of her, staring down at her, big and looming and male. An excited thrill shot through her and, in a flash, she remembered being naked with him, joining with him, feeling guilty and confused because the pleasure had been so wonderful and taken her totally off guard.
“Marry me,” he demanded, the two words jumping into the air as if he’d been waiting all night to say them.
Since they rammed into her, stealing her breath, she simply repeated them. “Marry you?”
His hands settled gently on her shoulders as if to prevent her from running away. “You’re carrying my baby. I want to be a dad to this child just as much as to Manuel, Joey and Roy. I want to be there when this baby’s born. I want to see his or her first smile, first step, first everything. Manuel has changed and grown before my eyes, and I don’t want to miss a minute of this new baby’s life.”
Raina swallowed hard. “I know you like being a father, Shep, but what about us?” Her mind was spinning with all the ramifications of what he was suggesting.
Shep’s jaw tightened, as if what he was going to say was hard for him. “I’ve never been married. So I can only imagine what your husband meant to you, and I’m not aiming to pretend that what you and I have is anything like that. But I do know there’s something between us. When we’re together, we want each other. That’s what led us to where we are now. We can build on that.”
Did they have something to build on? As she’d told the caseworker, she respected and admired him. If she was truly honest with herself, she also had to admit she was falling for him. But marriage? “I don’t know, Shep. I’m a doctor. I never imagined I’d settle down on a ranch.”
Still clasping her shoulders, working his thumbs up and down her neck, he asked gently, “Are you panicked by the idea of having a baby?”
“A little.”
“You don’t have to be. You don’t have to give up your career. Eva will help us. Our baby will have three brothers.”
“But getting married might affect your adoption.”
“Actually, I think it will help. You’ll have to have interviews with Mrs. Sumpter and eventually appear with me before the judge. But I don’t see why there would be a problem. Two parents are better than one, if they both love kids.”
“You know I love kids, Shep. Yet I never imagined I’d be the mom of four—practically overnight.”
“It is a lot to think about,” Shep agreed. “I’ve been mulling it over in my head all night. But if you want a family and kids as much as I do, I think it’s the best thing to do for all of us. But whatever you decide, I want to be a father to our baby…whether we’re married or not.”
Parental rights. Custody issues. A child being shuttled back and forth between two parents. How confusing would that be?
Raina considered her past nine years—her loneliness, her loss, her own childhood growing up without her father. Then she considered a life with Shep and his boys here on the ranch. In vivid recall, her tryst with him under the cottonwoods played like a movie in her mind. She could see in Shep’s eyes that he was remembering, too, and he leaned forward to kiss her. His lips had almost settled on hers when Manuel began banging on his play saucer, tired of the toys there, tired of not being the center of attention.
Shep straightened, touched her cheek tenderly, then scooped Manuel from his saucer. “Marriage is a lot to think about. Our life together could be a challenge in a lot of ways. There’s something else you might want to think about. We should have a prenup to protect us both.”
Watching Shep with Manuel, studying the play of his muscles under his shirt as he hefted the toddler higher in his arms, she suddenly realized what the most challenging aspect of their marriage could be. Shep had said several times he didn’t trust easily. What kind of marriage could they have without trust?
“I need time to think about all this.”
Manuel leaned toward her, reaching his arms out. She lifted him and felt the joy of holding a baby, realized that in June she’d be holding her baby.
When her gaze met Shep’s, she saw desire there…and hope. Could they have a life together?
Was she crazy for even considering his marriage proposal?
On the patio at the back kitchen entrance to the Victorian the following evening, Raina stood with Lily, looking over the yard at the purple-and-gold sunset. “I’m glad your bedroom furniture fit.”
With a loud bang, Angie backed out of the screen door from the kitchen, carrying a small side table. “I think this will look great out here.”
Lily gave them both a forced smile. “I should probably sell everything I put in storage, but I can’t just yet.”
Raina tugged Lily down to the glider rocker that had already been positioned on the patio. “You have to give yourself time. Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right.”
“Moving in here feels right.”
“Good,” Angie said. “Feel free to add whatever personal things you want. The house reflects all of us, though it might just be the two of us, once Raina makes her decision about Shep’s proposal.”
Last evening Raina had told Angie and Lily about Shep’s proposal. Now it was time to tell them her decision. She’d been mulling over everything since yesterday.
“Do you two think I’m crazy if I say yes?”
“Depends on your reasons,” Lily insisted, her full attention on Raina.
“First and foremost, I’ve always wanted a big family, and at thirty-seven I might not get another chance. And second, Shep is a wonderful father—those boys love him. Doesn’t my baby deserve that? Doesn’t our baby deserve two parents and a family atmosphere?”
She raised a third finger. “And the last reason is that Shep is a good man. I’ve been alone for so long, and he’s the kind of man who makes me feel protected. I think we could have a good marriage.” She blushed a little, remembering the passionate intimacy she’d experienced with Shep.
“You’re really attracted to him, aren’t you?” Angie asked.
“I am. I can’t figure it out. My heart races and my stomach gets butterflies whenever he’s close.”
Lily spoke. “You’ve given us good reasons why marriage might work, but what do you feel about him? Because in the end, that’s what’s important.”
“To be honest, I’m confused. All these years, I felt as if I was still married to Clark. It’s hard to turn off that life to start a new one. I don’t want to ever forget what we had, who he was, how brave he was—though I know I can’t hold on forever. With this baby coming, I have to look forward.”
“We’ll be pregnant together,” Lily said with a real smile.
Raina laughed. “Yes, we will.” Then she became serious again. “But I feel if I do this, I’m deserting you when you’ve just arrived.”
“That’s nonsense,” Lily assured her. “Angie will be here, and you and I can still see each other. It’s not as if you’re going to fall off the face of the earth.”
“No, but handling three kids, plus having a new husband and being pregnant, is going to make for long days and maybe even long nights.”
The women laughed.
“Don’t forget about the horses,” Raina added, getting a quiver in her stomach just thinking about all of it.
“Do you really want to marry Shep?” Angie asked her.
Raina hesitate
d, not knowing if she was making the right decision. But she answered, “Yes, I do.”
“Do you think you’ll move your things to his place?” Lily asked.
“I’m not sure. He already has a house full of furniture. I could move my bedroom suite to my mom’s garage.”
“That’s silly,” Angie decided. “Just leave whatever you don’t move here, then if…well…if things don’t work out, you’ll have a place to come home to.”
The three women had been totally involved in their conversation, so involved that all three of them were startled when a deep male voice beside the patio said, “Howdy, ladies.”
Raina swung around. “Shep!”
“I rang the front bell but no one came. Then I heard voices from back here. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
As Lily went over to Shep to introduce herself, Raina wondered how much of the conversation he might have overheard. What must he be thinking?
Lily said, “I’m Lily Wescott. I work at Family Tree with Raina. I just moved in today.”
Shep gave Lily’s hand a firm shake. “It’s nice to meet you. I knew your husband and I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Lily seemed to swallow hard, but managed to say, “Thank you.”
Angie crossed to Shep now and he shook her hand, too. She smiled. “I’m Angie Rigoletti, a pediatric nurse at the hospital. I work with Raina now and then, and I moved in here in August.”
“I see.” He studied each of the women as if he was wondering about their bonds and what made them want to live together.
Lily and Angie exchanged a look and Raina wasn’t surprised when Lily asked, “Angie, do you want to help me empty some boxes?”
“Sure thing,” Angie agreed. Then she added, “We have a lot to do upstairs, so don’t worry about us interrupting you.”
Lily and Angie were through the kitchen door before Raina could blink.
“I didn’t mean to chase them away.” Shep stepped up onto the patio. “If this is a bad time—”
“No, it’s not a bad time. I was going to call you.”
“The boys have been asking me about you.”
“Is that why you stopped over?”
“No,” he replied. “I came to get your answer. I need to know what direction we’re headed and what steps to take next.”
What steps to take next—as far as custody went? Custody worried her as much as everything else. If he was really determined to be a father, he’d want equal rights to his child. She couldn’t bear the thought of a son or daughter of theirs shuttling back and forth between two households. Her decision really was the best one to make for their baby.
“I’ve made my decision. But are you sure you want to consider marrying a stranger?”
He closed the distance between them, smiled his crooked smile and assured her, “You’re not a stranger. You’re my baby’s mother.”
“Our baby,” she remarked, quietly. “And if your proposal still holds, yes, I’ll marry you.”
She wasn’t sure what she thought would happen when she said the words, but nothing did, and that surprised her a little. Attraction was still rippling between them. She felt goose bumps on her arms whenever he looked deeply into her eyes, as he did now. But he was examining her expression and she wondered what that meant. She soon found out.
“I overheard part of your conversation when I was walking along the side of the house.”
“Shep—”
He held up his hand to stop her. “Look, I know this is an unusual situation. But if I commit to this marriage, I want you to know I intend to make it work. So I guess my question to you is, do you intend to do the same? Leaving your furniture here is one thing. Leaving part of your resolve here is another.”
She should have realized strength of commitment would be important to Shep. They really didn’t know each other, yet he seemed willing to take this step without completely trusting her. What would that mean for their marriage? Could they learn to trust as well as learn to love? After all, she knew now she was falling in love with Shep. Otherwise, she couldn’t do this.
“When I marry you, Shep, I’ll do everything I can do make it work. Lily and Angie are good friends and they just want to be here for me, no matter what decision I make.”
The silence that fell between them was a bit awkward. “When should we tell the boys?” Raina asked. She wished Shep would touch her. She wished he’d reassure her that this ready-made family would fulfill both their dreams.
“How about tomorrow night. Why don’t you come over for dinner? Then we’ll tell them.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve got to be getting back so Eva can leave. By the way, she’s willing to stay on and help with the baby. I didn’t know what you might want to do about your practice after the baby’s born.”
“I don’t know yet, but I have some time to think about it.”
“Yes, you do. And we have a lot to talk about.”
Did Shep mean practical things like prenuptial agreements, nannies and four children to raise? Or did he mean they had a lot to discover about each other?
She saw the heat in Shep’s eyes before he reached for her. Then his arms were around her and his lips were on hers, firm and demanding, and a little more possessive than they’d been before.
All too soon, he pulled away and cleared his throat. Then he touched his lips to her forehead and murmured, “Good night, Raina.”
The sensation of his lips on her skin was so sensual, she savored it for a moment. When she opened her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Shep’s back as he headed around the side of the house.
What had she done?
Chapter Seven
“We’re getting married,” Shep told his sons the following evening, as Raina held her breath in anticipation of their reaction. She thought the boys liked her, but with children, you never knew what they were thinking.
Roy immediately clapped his hands, jumped up and down and ran to her. “Are you going to be our mom?”
“No,” Joey answered before she could. “She’s just marrying our dad. She’ll be our stepmom.”
Raina didn’t think now was the time to split hairs. She didn’t know what would happen with Manuel’s adoption, whether it would go forward with just Shep, or if she would be included. They’d be sitting down with the caseworker soon to discuss that.
So she simply said, “I’d like you to think of me as your mom.”
“That’s all right, isn’t it?” Roy asked his older brother.
But Joey didn’t look so sure. “I guess so.”
Raina saw that Shep had been right in his decision not to tell them about the baby yet. This change was enough for now. She hugged Roy, crossed to Joey and knelt down before him. “It’s a big decision, whether you want somebody for your mom or not. So you could just call me Raina until you decide.”
“Instead of Dr. Gibson?” Joey looked to Shep for confirmation.
“If that’s what Raina wants, then that’s what you can do,” Shep said, looking approving at how she was handling this. His approval meant a lot to her, and that surprised her.
“So you’re going to live here with us?” Joey wanted to make sure he had it right.
“After we get married, I will. We’re not sure when that will be yet, but we’ll let you know. Tonight, I just came over to cook dinner with you. Your dad says you like tacos.”
“I love tacos,” Joey replied, still with a bit of wariness.
“I make my own salsa. Do you want to help?”
Again Joey looked at Shep, and Shep gave a nod. With a roll of his shoulders, he agreed. “Okay.”
Apparently, Joey still firmly had his guard in place. She hoped this new situation wouldn’t make his walls even sturdier. Only time would tell what was in store for all of them.
Manuel had toddled over to her and now wrapped his arms around her legs.
She stooped and picked him up. “Do you want to help, too?”
Roy made the decision for his little brother. “H
e can taste it.”
They all laughed, and Raina hoped this was going to be the start of their new family life. It might be different from her first marriage, but just as fulfilling in its own way.
The preparations for supper were noisy and fun, with Shep exchanging glances with her often. Those glances held questions and doubts and anticipation and excitement.
After dessert, she and Shep played board games with the boys, and spin-the-top with Manuel. They put the toddler to bed first, then read stories to Roy and Joey. Finally, everyone was tucked in for the night.
They were almost out the door when Joey called Shep back in.
Raina gave them some privacy and went downstairs. She straightened up a bit, surprisingly feeling as much at home here as she did at the Victorian. Afterward, she stood at the coffee table and looked around the room, letting its warm, comfortable ambiance seep into her.
When Shep came downstairs, he found her like that and asked, “Looking for something?”
“Nope.”
His face sobered. “I guess I should have asked what you want to change.”
She crossed to him, feeling their attraction wrap around her as she gazed into his blue eyes. “I was looking at it through a mom’s eyes, or trying to. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
His brows arched, and he seemed surprised at her answer. “Most women would want to come in here and redecorate.”
“I’m not most women, Shep, and I don’t think you’d be marrying me if I was. You’ve done a fine job with the place. Everything’s comfortable and sturdy and made for boys. The decorations speak of your Texas heritage.”
Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed each of her fingertips. She felt shivery all over. But they weren’t married yet, and they still had a lot to talk about until they were.
“What did Joey want, or is that a private matter?”
“Nothing too private. He just asked me if you were going to sleep here overnight again.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I told him, after we were married, you’d be moving in here and we’d be sleeping in the same bedroom. I thought I might as well be honest about it.”
The Texan’s Happily-Ever-After Page 9