by Makusr
“Good evening mam’. Coming after a long time”, the receptionist said politely.
“Yes”, I was in no mood to speak.
“Coffee or tea mam’”, he asked again.
“Water. That too in the room”, I said sitting on the sofa near his desk.
“Dinner mam’”
“No I’ve eaten. I’m tired and just want to sleep”, saying this I got up and walked towards the rooms.
A bell boy took my bag and showed me to the room we usually stayed in, whenever it was vacant. The waiter had brought the water bottle and kept it on the table. I latched the door after he had left and threw myself on the bed. And, then I cried. I don’t know why I cried, but I cried. Tears kept rolling off my eyes. I must have lay there crying for nearly half an hour. Then I got up. Went to the washing room. Dabbed my face with the cold water. Washed it thoroughly. Then I came out. Water was there in the water bottle. My throat had become quite dry. I drank the whole bottle of water. And then, taking off all my clothes I slipped under the blanket. I didn’t know when I drifted into sleep. It must have been soon, as I was quite tired and completely drained.
*………………………………………*
Next day I got up late. I was suffering from hangover of the eventful previous day. Had a mild headache and my body felt stiff. But one thing was definitely absent. Feeling of remorse! I didn’t feel remorseful about anything anymore.
I looked myself in the mirror. Yoga had done wonders to my body. It had taken off the fat from my body where it was not required and had deposited the right amount where it was needed. I hadn’t seen my body for a long time. Aunt Vidya always said one should do it. If you regularly see your body like this, you’ll always love it and be ready to do the corrections wherever required.
I did Yoga for half an hour and after resting for another half hour, had a cold bath. It was quite refreshing. I never took hot water baths. Even in winters I took cold water baths. Cold water baths rejuvenate the body completely.
After having myself ready for the day, I ordered the breakfast. My favorite butter toast and hot spicy tea. I was enjoying this sybaritic living, when a feeble knock on the door alerted me. I got up and went up o the door.
“Come in.”
It was the manager of the hotel. He knew me well. He came in and greeted me politely.
“Good morning mam’. Welcome to the hotel. When I came in the morning, I came to know that you had come in the night. I hope your stay was comfortable.”
“Oh yes! No problem. Any message or news for me?” I enquired.
“Mam’ Amarpreet sir had called and given a phone number.” He took out a piece of paper from his pocket.
“Yes.”
“Mam’ sir had said that you should call him on this number.”
“Then why didn’t you give it before. You should have done it immediately.” I was quite irritated.
“I’m sorry mam’. But sir said that, it should be given to you only after you have taken the breakfast.” He said in an apologetic tone.
How thoughtful and considerate!
“You shouldn’t be sorry. It’s O.K. Please give me the number and you may go. One minute, one minute! Arrange a taxi for me for the full day. Usual taxi stand.”
“Yes mam’.”
He went away keeping the phone number on the table. I began to dress up in formal clothes. It was Lucknow and many people knew me as a political entity there too. Talking to Amarpreet on the hotel phone was out of question. I had to go to a pay-phone kiosk to do that. Secrecy and alertness were the key elements.
As the bell rang on the other end and the phone was picked up, Amarpreet’s voice came on the phone.
“Hello.”
“Hello Amarpreet. How are you? What’s new?” I was quite curious to know and impatient too.
“Nothing much in the city. Event is reported in the Hindi news paper. But your village and surrounding areas are on volcano!”
“How?” I was quite impatient.
“I had called up few people I know. He was one of the prominent persons of your area. So much hullabaloo will be created, It’s natural.”
“Any suspicion?” I asked fearing the unknown.
“It’s too early to talk about that. Let’s wait and watch. You have to remain here for at least two days.” He advised in his cool manner.
“Two days!” I was exasperated.
“Yes, two days. Then you’ll take the train to the city. In between we’ll not talk to each other. That’s very important Maya”
“O.K., Amar.”
“And one thing more! Don’t mention his name or the event, even when you are talking to people at your home.”
“O.K., Amar.”
“Not just O.K., you’ll have to follow it. It’s very important!” There was firmness in his voice.
“O.K., Amar I’ll remember that it’s very important. Don’t worry on that front. I’ll be careful and discreet.” I assured him.
“Even when talking to aunt Vidya”, he cautioned again.
“Even when talking to aunt Vidya, I’ll be very careful and do as you have asked me to do. “ I reassured him.
“O.K., then take care. Bye, Maya.”
“Bye Amar.” I ended the call.
Two days I’ll had to be there. Two days! I was exasperated. Then I dialed home. As usual aunt Vidya picked up the phone.
“Who is it?”
She always answered the call in this manner. So many times I had tried to correct her, but she persisted with this way.
“It’s your nice niece and family friend” I too replied as I always replied to her.
“Oh Maya! How are you?” She seemed worried.
“I’m in Lucknow aunty. Listen aunt. It’s very important. Remember one thing. We’ll not talk about the man or about the event with anybody on phone. Not even you and I. That’s very important!”
“O.K., Maya I understand”, she assured me.
“Now tell me how everything there is. Everything and everybody!”
“Your Ma and Papa both are well. They had gone to Rita’s place. The whole village is there. I’ll also go in few minutes.” She summarized the whole news quickly.
“How’s the atmosphere like?”
“Quite tense, Maya! You know one thing Maya. Your father cried when he heard about the death. Since morning he has been there.. Extremely worried and extremely sad. You know he’s like this.” Yes, I knew my father. He showed his tough exterior to all. But inside he was soft and emotional.
“Yes aunty, that’s what pains me. He doesn’t take anything to heart and if he’s hurt, he keeps to himself. Very unlike friends.”
“Yes Maya.”
“O.K., aunty I’m ending the call. I’ll come home after two days. You go and console Rita and her mother. They are our family too.”
“Yes I’m going there Maya. Take care.”
“I will aunty.” I hung up the phone.
I was much worried for everybody in the family. Here I was alone. When you are alone you get more worried and all kind of worrying thoughts descend on you. You get preoccupied with them and they plague you. Only wrong things come to mind. One thing however became clear in all this. That, Amarpreet was a true friend and he could cross any limit to help you. But coupled with this he was a ruthless man too! And, this I have to keep in mind to be very cautious. To keep always in mind, never to cross him the wrong way. Engrossed in all these thoughts, and loitering and whiling away my time, I spent those two days.
Ch-10
Lull After the Storm
On the third day the phone call came from Amarpreet. He gave me the green signal to leave Lucknow. He left it to me to choose the mode of conveyance. I was always comfortable traveling by train. So, it was train that I chose. Further he had instructed me that once I reach the city, I shouldn’t stay there. I should leave for the village by immediately. As soon I reached the city, I took a taxi to the village. By the time I reached the village it had bec
ome dark. When I entered the house and crossed the courtyard, Ma was exactly there, where I knew I would find her. In the kitchen.
“Maaa”, I said loudly and hugged her.
She was quite surprised to see me. In fact nobody was expecting me then. I hadn’t called home before leaving Lucknow. Only aunt Vidya was expecting me. But she couldn’t tell anybody, and she didn’t.
“Oh my God Maya, it’s you! When did you arrive?” Ma said in a bemused tone.
“Just now Ma. And, how are you Ma? And, Papa and aunt Vidya?”
“Everybody is fine Maya. We all miss you. What keeps you so engaged in the city that you don’t find the time to come here?” She said moving her hand over my head.
“Ma, I had gone to Lucknow with some work. Party work Ma”, I said as I rubbed my nose on her cheeks.
“Why do you do so much party work, Maya? Leave everything. Come here. Settle in life. I’m concerned about your marriage.” She was as concerned as all mothers are. Her own life revolved around her marriage, her children and her house. She had never seen beyond that. Never wanted to.
“O.K., Ma don’t worry. I’ll do that”, I knew I was lying to her. I’ll never do that. And, I never did.
“Ma, I’m hungry and I miss your stuffed Parathas. Give me some today. O.K.” I said hugging her tightly again.
“O.K., you go and fresh yourself, meet everybody. I’ll fix the Parathas soon.”
She called aunt Vidya, my father, two or three servants, all in the same breath to announce that I had come. Everybody came rushing to the kitchen. Except father who couldn’t come to the kitchen rushing. He called my name sitting in his room.
“Maya!” Aunt Vidya took me in her arms. She was as happy to see me as I was seeing her.
“Aunt Vidya! It seems ages since I have seen you!” I hugged her too.
A few minutes later I rushed to my father’s room. He was sitting in his chair. Of late he had become very emotional. When he saw me tears welled up in his eyes. My eyes too became moist.
“Papa”, I couldn’t say anything else. I just sat near his feet and hugged his legs.
“Maya, how are you my child?” He placed his hand on my head as he said this. Tears began rolling down my eyes. I couldn’t say anything. Just placed my head on his knees.
“Maya”, he patted my head.
“Papa.”
“Maya a very sad thing happened here my child. Ranjit died in a road accident. Nobody knows how it happened. They found his body lying there. I saw his body with my own eyes. Very bad condition, Maya”, his voice cracked as he said this.
“Yes Papa. Aunt Vidya told me about it. I was also felt sad when I came to know of this”, I said without looking at my father, I couldn’t.
“What can we do about this Maya. It’s God’s will, we have to accept it. You go and fresh yourself, and eat something child” He said moving his hand lovingly over my head.
I got up and moved out of his room. Aunt Vidya was waiting for me outside. With her I went to her room and closed the door behind us. Without speaking a word we sat on the bed and kept staring at each other.
“Maya”, it was aunt Vidya who broke the silence. “It must have been terrible for you, no?”
“It was of course! But not now. I’m O.K., now”, I said pressing her hands.
“You are made of sterner matter Maya. I couldn’t have done it, had I been in your place Maya!” She held my hand tightly.
“Can’t say aunt. Can’t comment on these things. It just happened. Maybe the situation begets the man! I had to do it for father. It was a feeling from inside and I did it.”
“I know Maya. I made the plan with you. But I know, in the end I wouldn’t have been able to pull it off.”
We kept quiet for few seconds, just looking at each other.
“Let’s leave it aunt. I’m feeling hungry and moreover I’m tired. Mother must be waiting with her stuffed Parathas. Mm… Aunty I think tomorrow I should go and meet Rita. She needs me now!”
I got up and pulling aunt Vidya with me came out of her room. Ma was waiting for us at the dining table. With her hot stuffed Parathas and spicy mango pickles! After quite a long time I was meeting my family and having dinner with them. That too in relaxed mood! Heavenly feeling! I ate a lot and enjoyed the dinner thoroughly. From there I went directly to my room. As I was tired, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I woke up late. When you sleep in your favorite bed after a long time you sleep longer. Similar was the case with me. In an hour I got ready and went to Rita’s house. She was sitting in the room with her mother. The moment she saw me, she rushed out, embraced me tightly and began weeping inconsolably.
“Maya, where were you? Papa’s gone!” She kept repeating.
Seeing her like this and hearing her cries, tears welled up in my eyes too. In the whole episode, I haven’t felt the guilt. Remorse if any had vanished quite fast. But, when Rita cried her heart out on my shoulder, I felt guilty for the first time. When you are caught red-handed, and people curse you and punish you, you don’t feel guilty. But when somebody cries her heart out on your shoulder and you know that you are the cause of the pain, it becomes unbearable. That was the condition I felt myself in at that time.
“Rita, I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your father. I’m really sorry!” I had hard time lying to her.
“Maya, that accident was horrible! Somebody hit him while he was going on his bike. People drive so carelessly Maya. Why?” She kept on sobbing.
“Yes Rita, people drive carelessly. Please calm down. What has happened can’t be reversed. Maybe God has willed it like this. What can we do before his will? We have to just accept it. I f you will keep crying like this, who will take care of your mother. You need to have strength at this hour of crisis. You need to have strength to bear the burden.” If words could give strength, I tried my best.
“Yes Maya. You are right Maya.” her cries had subdued a bit by this time.
Suddenly the loud and heart wrenching cries of her mother filled up the atmosphere. It was becoming unbearable. I got up and put a hand on her mother’s shoulder to console her.
“Aunty, please calm down. Please calm down aunty”, I said sitting close to her and holding her tightly in my hands.
“Maya your uncle is gone! God has snatched him like this. He’s so cruel! What will I do! Where will I go!” Her pain was evident from every word she spoke.
“Oh aunty! Strange are the ways of God. What has been done can’t be undone. We’ll have to just bear it. “
I consoled her as much as I could. Then leaving her there, I took Rita out of the room.
“Rita I’m going. Others will be coming shortly. If you need anything, please let me know. Don’t forget Rita we are a family”, the last part of the sentence I whispered in her ear. I came back home. My mood had become totally off.
Death is followed by thirteen days long rituals. It begins after the body is consigned to flames. In those thirteen days I went to Rita’s house many times and she also came many times to my house. Mahesh had also called her many times. I waited till the thirteenth day. It would have been highly inappropriate to talk about going to Australia in those thirteen days. On the thirteenth day a community lunch was organized. That community lunch ends the mourning period of thirteen days.
In the evening Rita came to my house. I took her to aunt Vidya’s room and all three of us huddled together for the talk.
“Rita, how are you dear now!” Aunt Vidya said holding her hand in hers.
“Fine”, she said her head down and looking forlorn.
“Rita you have to pull yourself up dear. You need to have courage and strength”, aunt Vidya said hugging her.
“Yes aunty.” She moved her head up and placed it on aunt Vidya’s shoulder.
“Rita what has been done is sad. Very, very sad. I can feel your pain. But one has to pull oneself up from the situation. You have to do that. Mahesh is also waiting for you there.” I had to s
tep in.
“I know Maya. But what about Ma?” She came out with her worries.
“Rita, we are here to take care of her. She is also a part of the family. Not a stranger anymore. No longer Rita!”
“Yes I know Maya. But?”
“But what Rita?” I looked at her.
“Maya, nobody knows about our marriage. If Ma comes to know about it now she would be completely shattered. She would die if I vanish to Australia like this.”
What she said was absolutely correct. I had to find a solution to that too.
“Don’t worry Rita. I’ll find a solution to that too. But then gear yourself up. In a month or two I’m planning to send you to Australia. Life has to move on. We can’t stop at anything. We can’t cling on to the past, however dear it may have been for us. Whether we want it or not, we have to move into the future.”
“O.K., Maya I’ll see”, she said quite composed then.
“I know Rita you can do that. I’m moving to the city early tomorrow. There I’ll think over everything and find a solution to your worries. Don’t worry I’ll do that. When everything is arranged I’ll let you know.”
I got up. Rita and aunt Vidya also got up. We all hugged one another and then she went to her home.
“Aunty, we have to send her to Australia as soon as possible. We’ll have to actively think on that. We’ll also have to think how to break the news to her mother. There are many things remaining.” I said looking at aunt Vidya intently.
“Yes Maya it’s difficult but I know that we’ll do it.”
I was happy to listen this.
“I’ll start doing the packing now. In the morning I won’t get the time. I’ve been away for too long from the city. More than a fortnight! Many things are pending.”
I went to my room, leaving aunt Vidya in hers. I had to do the packing. After lying there on the bed for few minutes, I began the packing.
*………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..*
The dinner was quiet affair. I took a light dinner. After the dinner I went to aunt Vidya’s room for sleeping. After a few minutes, aunt Vidya also came in her room. She closed the door behind her and latched it properly. With a smile on her face she whispered.