“I just want—never mind.”
“No, tell me,” Channing whispered.
“I just can’t cheat. It’s wrong. I thought you were married at the beginning of the year.”
Channing tilted up Seth’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. “Seth, honey, babe, I swear we aren’t cheating on anyone. We just need to keep this between us because other people wouldn’t understand. Okay?”
He stared into Channing’s eyes, searching for deception and not finding any. “I-I guess—”
“Love, really, it’s okay. Honestly, my marriage is over.” Channing smiled and lifted his brows, looking so cute that Seth’s heart squeezed.
The hesitation he felt started to melt. If Channing said his marriage was over, then it wasn’t cheating. They weren’t together, and Channing was free to date. Come to think of it, Channing’s wife hadn’t shown up to any games this season. He guessed he’d been so busy he hadn’t even realized his coach had gotten a divorce. Now he felt bad. He should pay more attention to the people around him. He wondered how long Channing had been lonely and the guys on the team hadn’t even tried to help.
Seth nodded slowly, the arguments fading the more he thought about it. “Okay, I guess we can do this. We just have to stay quiet until the season is over.”
“And until the draft,” Channing added.
“Yeah, the draft.” Worry filled him. What if he didn’t make it on a team? He’d worked hard on his degree, not slacking off like some of the guys who were convinced they’d make the pros. He didn’t have that luxury, he had to work hard at school as well as in football.
“We can’t leave together. I’ll go after you. Sleep well, practice is going to be tough for you tomorrow,” Channing said.
“Fuck. Why?” Seth asked.
“If I go easy on you, people will talk. We only have a few more weeks, then it will be easier. Think long term.”
Seth tugged on his jeans, then grabbed his jacket out of the locker. He paused before shutting the metal door. “What if I get on a team that’s far from here?”
Channing gave him a quick kiss, his hands skimming over Seth’s body. “We’ll fly to see each other.”
Seth shook his head, confusion filling him. “Why? Why me?”
Channing smiled and cupped Seth’s neck, squeezing. “You’re worth it, Seth. I’ve been watching you from the beginning. You’re special. You’ll see, we’ll be good together and we can do this.”
He nodded and tugged on his jacket. Maybe Channing was right, it would be worth it. He couldn’t imagine anything better than what he’d done with Channing just now. Being with girls had never been like that. He hated that the coach had gotten divorced, but from what Channing had said, it seemed like they hadn’t really loved each other anyway.
Seth gathered his things and left the locker room, wishing that he and Channing could really be together. He wanted hugs and comfort after having sex like that for the first time, but reality had settled in and left him walking to his car alone. It probably was against university rules for them to date. But as sure as he breathed air, he really wanted Channing. Reality and the rules sucked.
That he and Channing wanted each other should be enough, but wanting and having were two very different things. Most people wouldn’t understand his desires because he was gay. Then there was the age thing. People would look at the difference and say junk about them, accusing Channing of manipulating him, or worse, saying that Seth had stolen Channing from his wife, which wasn’t true at all, but people talked.
Alone at his apartment, Seth stripped off his clothes, then ran his hands over his body the way Channing had. They’d really had sex and it had been good, not great, but good—at least he’d come…eventually. He wished his first time with a man would have been in a bed, but they hadn’t planned it. God, what would have happened if anyone else had walked in and found them? Seth shivered as fear wound through him. He was playing with fire and maybe he should step away, but he wanted Channing too much to turn his back on what could be.
Seth tweaked his nipples then ran his hand to his cock and over his hip to his ass. When he touched his butt, he flinched. He was sore from being fucked. They’d really done it—his first time. Sure, he’d jerked off with another guy…once, and he’d kissed a few guys at parties when they were alone, hidden from everyone else and could laugh it off before going to find a girl to kiss, but he’d never experienced anything like what had just happened. Maybe being with Channing was totally wrong, but he shoved his misgivings away and thought about how good it had been. Perhaps he was being too critical. What they had done had been amazing. He wanted more, and next time he’d get it. Channing had implied that the next time would be in a hotel. That would be awesome.
After scarfing down a sandwich, Seth fell into bed and pulled the covers up high as thoughts of Channing filtered through his mind. He wanted more from the man, but he would accept what he could get. It might take a while for life to even out, but he had time. Soon he would be in the NFL and Channing wouldn’t be his coach. Times were changing and maybe the other players would actually accept a gay player this time. He was young and Channing was worth waiting for. Seth curled to his side and snuggled against his pillow, pretending that Channing was holding him. He drifted off to sleep, thinking about how good his future would be with Channing at his side. They could build something special and wonderful. Any obstacles could be overcome. They would make it. He just knew it.
Chapter Two
Seth pulled into the parking lot for the golf club two blocks away from Channing’s house, wondering if he was making an epic mistake or doing the right thing. Hands All Over was playing, reminding him of what he and Channing had shared in the locker room. His cock twitched as he listened to the end of the song. Working up the courage to get out of the car took time and another song started. Adam Levine’s voice belted out the words to This Love and he flicked off the radio, angry at himself for being such a coward.
He’d parked at the end of the lot and was sure no one would say anything about his car being here. Other guys in school who worked at the club parked here and sometimes left their cars overnight when they were going partying or when they were away for holidays, like now. Four other cars sat close, all with student stickers on the window so his blended in.
Two months had passed since that night in the locker room and Channing hadn’t called, texted, or anything. The season had ended, they’d played in the bowl game, winning because of his passes, but Channing hadn’t even attempted to contact him.
Channing barely paid him any attention, certainly not as much as he gave to other guys on the team. And after the last game, it was like Seth was a ghost. He understood, kind of, but not really. It had taken him days to decide to take matters into his own hands and just show up at Channing’s house.
After gulping in a huge breath, Seth eased out of his car and shut the door, clicking the locks closed. He worried all the way over to Channing’s place, staying in the shadows to keep out of view of his neighbors, not that anyone would really care that he was headed to Channing’s house, but still, he didn’t want the attention from nosey people.
He and Channing could be together tonight and no one would know. With students still on break, it was the perfect time for he and Channing to spend the night in each other’s arms, at least he thought so.
He hurried up Channing’s sidewalk to the front door and knocked, excitement zinging through him. The wait was excruciating, but he didn’t run away though it had been more than a minute since he’d first knocked. Maybe Channing wasn’t around. Depression sifted through him, leaving him worried that he would never get this resolved.
After another minute of him standing on the front porch in the dark, the door swung open. Channing’s eyes narrowed and for a moment Seth thought Channing was going to tell him to leave, then Channing opened the door wider, grabbed his collar and yanked him in.
Seth was nervous and he didn’t want to babble, but he
had to say something. “Hey, I—”
Channing pressed him up against the now closed door, his lips possessing, his hands roaming. This wasn’t exactly how Seth thought it would go, but he wasn’t disappointed when Channing pulled at his jacket, shoving it off his shoulders. The kiss ended and they were both breathing hard.
“Strip,” Channing demanded.
“Wait.” He had to know why Channing hadn’t tried to contact him again. But the feel of Channing’s arms around him, the brush of Channing’s lips against his, made his need for information not as pressing as it had been in the car when he was examining life through songs.
“I need you,” Channing whispered.
Seth tried again, wanting answers almost more than he wanted Channing’s hands on his body. “Stop, I want—”
Channing shoved his tongue into Seth’s mouth and his hands down Seth’s pants. He was hard and ready to blow and having Channing stroke his cock, his thumb toying with his glans, driving Seth crazy, didn’t do anything to clear his head at all. Channing confused him with his hot kisses and sizzling touches. It was too much. Above all else, he wanted Channing’s cock in his ass. He’d thought about that so much since the first time they’d fucked, and he needed it again.
Seth ripped his lips from Channing’s, panting hard. “Fuck me, please!” Not at all ashamed that he was begging.
Channing worked Seth’s pants open, pushing them to the ground. His shirt was gone, his pants on the floor along with his underwear, shoes, and socks. Once again he was naked and Channing was fully clothed with his dick hanging out but nothing more showing. Then Channing turned him around and he heard the condom wrapper rip open. Slick on his ass was followed by the press of Channing’s cock. He relaxed and took his guy’s big dick, loving the sting and the pain because it meant he was with his lover again.
Grunts and groans filled the entryway, bouncing off the white tile floor and flat walls. He was plastered up against the wood door, his breath coming in gasps. His mind had been filled with questions that he let go because none of it mattered now that Channing was inside him, riding him hard, making love to him again just as he should be.
Seth came fast, his spunk spurting on the wood and running down to the floor. Then he felt Channing jerking behind him. It was near perfect, almost as good as the first time. He was satisfied, at least he told himself he was. Seth relaxed and waited for Channing to pull out.
This was exactly what he needed. His anger lost steam, his arguments fled after being fucked so thoroughly by Channing. He still wanted answers but wasn’t so desperate. The sting on Channing’s exit made him gasp. He slowly turned, his ass aching. They stared at each other for a while, then Channing leaned in and kissed him, his lips nipping and tugging on Seth’s before he slid his tongue into Seth’s mouth, owning him all over again.
They parted and Seth held up a hand. “Why didn’t you call or anything?”
“I’m sorry, I just—it has been difficult.”
“What?”
“My wife—”
Ice instantly filled Seth’s veins. “Ex-wife?” Fear twisted through him. Was he fucking a married man?
“Yeah, ex, she started asking questions and threatening to take my money. She’s been so mean, always on me, asking questions, checking my phone. I had to be careful. I did it for you.”
Seth digested the information, wondering why Channing’s ex exerted so much control over him. Something didn’t add up and he needed to figure it out. “Why is she checking your phone? I thought—”
“Divorcing is complicated when money is at stake. She’s just being mean so she can get more money. It scared me when her lawyer sent a letter. I’m sorry I didn’t call or text, but I didn’t feel like I could without you being targeted. I did it for you,” Channing whispered between light kisses on Seth’s hairline, and down his neck.
Seth bit his lower lip, trying to believe Channing. He was about to say something about his doubt when Channing cupped Seth’s dick and began stroking him. He shivered and closed his eyes, his hips swaying as he fucked Channing’s hand.
“Spend the weekend with me. We’ll order pizza, drink beer, and sit around naked, making love like kids until Sunday night.”
Hope blossomed inside Seth, happy that he’d be spending time with his lover. The hesitations fled and he relaxed, trusting this meant they were moving forward, becoming closer. What did he really know about divorce anyway. Channing was dealing with a lot and he didn’t want to be a bother. “Really, you want me to stay over?”
“Yeah. We’ll have fun. Have you eaten dinner?” Channing asked as he ran his hands through Seth’s hair, tugging the strands gently. Desire snaked through him because the little tugs reminded him of Channing toying with his hair as they fucked.
“No.” Seth gulped down a breath and shivered.
Channing grinned and tugged his hair again as he leaned in, his knee sliding between Seth’s legs. “So fucking sexy. Do you want pizza, or Chinese tonight?”
Seth gasped as Channing bit down on his earlobe. “Pizza.”
“I’ll call in an order, then we chill. You can relax in the movie room while we wait for the pizza guy to arrive.” Channing backed up and stepped away, his back stiff.
“Sure.” Something felt off, some sliver of fear, or misgivings slid through Seth, and he tried to brush it off, but the doubt resurfaced. Then Channing was on the phone, ordering pizza, his gaze on the floor. Seth’s reservations increased as he thought about Channing’s ex. He’d almost convinced himself that he needed to ask more questions when Channing hung up then reached for him, tugging him close.
“Babe, I’m sorry. I swear next time it won’t be so long. I love you.”
Shock pulsed through Seth, and he stuttered almost stumbling when he placed one foot behind himself, trying to step away. “You love me?”
Channing drew him closer, his lips on Seth’s neck and chin, then his cheeks. “Yeah, that’s why I’ve been trying to protect you. She would have given information to the magazines. Your name would have been splashed all over the place. I stayed away for you.”
The words washed over him, leaving him dizzy. Channing had declared his love so easily that Seth didn’t know if he’d really heard the man correctly or not.
Seth put his hands on Channing’s chest and took a real step back, this time not stumbling. Wrapping his mind around Channing’s declaration proved difficult. “You love me, really?”
Channing pulled him close, kissing his lips, touching his cock, his ass, his nipples, driving him wild. The kiss ended and Channing smiled at him. “Yeah, I love you. I’m sorry if I couldn’t tell you before now, but it’s true. I’ve been watching you, paying attention to you for four years now, it’s only natural that I’ve fallen in love with you.” Channing brushed his lips over Seth’s again, his hands sliding over Seth’s body. Every touch, every caress drove Seth’s desire higher. The kiss ended and Channing leaned back. “We’ll still have to be careful, but you have to give me time. My job is on the line, and my ex is being a bitch. Please, don’t think that I don’t care about you. We just can’t go out in public, not yet. Soon, we’ll be able to let others know—well, after the draft and once you have a secure place in the NFL, then we can be open.”
Seth nodded, unsure how he felt. Channing was overwhelming him with his words of love. He wasn’t sure if what he felt for Channing was love or just emotions and lust. He certainly liked the guy enough to want more, and to get more he’d have to play by the rules Channing set because he was right, it was dangerous for both of them to be out.
“Your job, is it—”
“It’s not bad, just the normal end of season stuff I go through every year. Don’t worry yourself with it. I just have to be careful.”
A sick feeling washed over him and he knew he should leave. They could both be hurt by their relationship. Add in the mix the fact that Channing’s ex was making his life hard, and it was too much. Confusion filled him, but Channing tugged
him close again, his kisses like magic, wiping away Seth’s misgivings.
“Just a little while longer, then we’ll let others know.” Channing nodded, his eyes were wide with hope and something more, encouraging Seth.
He let Channing’s words wash over him. He could do this because this meant acceptance and love from Channing, and though the word love shocked him, he wanted it, wanted the closeness and the relationship because deep down he needed the approval from Channing to fill some hole in his heart that he really didn’t understand. “Okay, I’m okay with that.”
“Let me show you where the movie room is. We can set up in there and spend our weekend watching movies while we make love.”
“Th-that sounds great.” His emotions twisted with fear and he felt overwhelmed. Love was different than fucking around, and the way Channing spoke about his ex causing problems bothered Seth, but Channing sounded so convincing and he wanted this relationship.
Lawyers were evil, at least Seth thought they were. Not that long ago the company his dad had worked for had been sued by a disgruntled ex-employee. His dad had lost his job and then their house. They were working hard to make ends meet, but it had taken a while to get back to the point where they could own another house. While his friends’ parents had gotten ahead and were looking at retirement, his mom and dad were fighting to keep their head above water. Getting lawyers involved in anything tripled expenses beyond the trouble they brought. Maybe Channing’s ex thought she could get more money, or maybe take some of the decorations and paintings that hung in this beautiful house.
Seth had never seen a home decorated like Channing’s. The paintings were beyond amazing, leaving him wondering if Channing maybe had a thing for art. The place reminded him of a museum with the cutouts in the wall where statues were lit, some by hidden lights. Whoever had bought this stuff was rich, and based on the way Channing’s ex-wife was fighting to get her hands on his money, he was guessing it wasn’t her who had the cash. Insecurity grew with each step. If Channing’s ex had taken anything when she left, it wasn’t evident.
After The Snap Page 3