An unexpected pleasure is to be looked forward to next week, Steve wrote in his blog, as the National Points Championship is taken to a thrilling conclusion in a single day of driving. The World of Shale title and the Silver Roof will be decided by the end of next weekend. Will 768 defend her title? Will it be 768 or 89 that will be getting the shiny stuff onto their roof in time for Birmingham Shoot Out? A day’s racing not to be missed!
When Tyler came over on the Wednesday before, he took me out to a nice restaurant, and I dressed up in the silvery moss green mini-skirted outfit that I’d worn on my eighteenth birthday episode on Thrills and Spills. I hadn’t worn it before when out with him, in case he recognised it. I did my hair a bit different but still with some ringlets over the shoulder, and wore different shoes, high heeled this time instead of boots.
He smiled. “I wondered when you’d finally come out in that one!”
I tossed my head. “Why?” I asked suspiciously.
“Because I wanted to see you in it but didn’t like to ask! It seemed it bit shallow to put in a clothing request…”
“I’ve not done it quite the same…” I said uncertainly. Though I’d done my best to get a similar effect with my make-up to what Lisa had done the first time, as naturalistic as possible, with a hint of grey green in my eye shadow to emphasise my eyes, and pearly pale lipstick.
“It’s ok,” he reassured me, kissing me. “You look beautiful, just like I thought you would! Nadia said you looked like a princess when she saw you on the telly.”
“Nadia has a funny idea about princesses then,” I said dryly.
While we were waiting for our meal, he pushed a small wrapped box over to me. I frowned. “What’s this?”
“Open it and find out,” he said, his eyes on my face.
It was bigger than last time, so I wasn’t so anxious about what it might contain. I weighed it in one hand. Quite heavy. About fourteen by eight centimetres? “I don’t need a carburettor you know…” I said.
He laughed. “Go on, open it!”
It was a bottle of expensive perfume in an exquisite glass jar. I looked at him and wrinkled my nose. “What are you implying? That I always smell of engine oil?”
He smiled. “You’re determined to take everything the wrong way tonight aren’t you? I just thought you would like it. I’ve noticed that you’re really sensitive to smell. You sniff the air suspiciously when we go somewhere completely new, and you comment on what something smells like before anything else, and you really recoil when you don’t like a smell…”
“Oh,” I said, digesting that new insight into myself. It was true that I always scented the air like an animal, but I thought everyone did that. After all, humans are just animals aren’t they?
“You look rather perplexed,” he observed.
“You watch me a lot and think about me a lot don’t you?” I said uncertainly. “And analyse me a lot.”
“Maybe I can’t help but think about you all the time,” he said softly, looking warmly across the table at me, “because you’re so gorgeous and you mean so much to me…”
My heart flipped, then our starters arrived and the conversation became less personal.
“Promise me you’ll turn up on Sunday to drive in every race at Belle Vue,” I begged. “You know it’s down to every race on Sunday as to which of us gets the Silver roof!”
He smiled. “Of course I’ll be there. I’m not meekly handing it over you know! You’re going to have to fight me every inch of the way for it! Oo, look at your narrowed eyes now. You’re already planning your tactics aren’t you?” He leant his chin on his hand and grinned at me. “I dare you to wrest it off me…”
“I can’t wait!” I exclaimed. “I wish we were there right now!”
“I don’t,” he said. “Because I’m enjoying watching you getting up a head of steam. You are one competitive broad, aren’t you? When I see that look in your eyes right now I can see the girl who pushed Quinn in a cupboard, kicked him in the balls and cut all his hair off!”
“Oh shut up!” I said. “He deserved it!”
Outside, after the meal, he said. “I’m really sorry Eve, I can’t stay over, I have to get back tonight.”
“Can’t we just..?” I didn’t want to verbalise it because it sounded a bit wanton. “Before you go?”
“I’ve only got the back of the van, and that isn’t very chivalrous is it?”
“We’ve done it there before,” I said stubbornly.
So we drove to a big dark carpark and got in the back and unrolled the foam mattress and the old duvet.
“Go on, try the scent,” he urged.
“As long as it doesn’t gas us in this enclosed space!”
I sniffed at the closed bottle, but it smelt of nothing but metal. Then I gave a tentative spray onto my wrist. I waited a moment to let it settle then sniffed. He had a sniff too.
“So what does it smell of to you?” He asked me with a smile.
I sniffed again. “Grass – when a hay field’s just been mown, flowers – honeysuckle and jasmine, citrus – mostly lime – and- ” I paused, frowning, “ -and fox,” I said at last.
“Fox?” He said, startled. “Don’t they stink?”
“Hmm, not exactly…their poo does if a dog rolls in it. What I mean is that sharp musky scent on the air half caught on the breeze across the snow…”
He stared at me.
“I used to have a small wooden fox,” I suddenly remembered. “I used to keep it under my pillow.” My brow wrinkled. “I can’t remember where it came from though, or where it eventually went…”
He kissed me.
“You taste of the wine we were drinking,” I told him.
“And how does that taste?” He asked interestedly.
I kissed him delicately again. And once again, more lingeringly. “Blackcurrants, raspberries, cedarwood, and,” I paused, “black pepper.”
“Wow, you’re good at this aren’t you?”
“What? Kissing?”
“Yes, that too,” he agreed, leaning in for another one.
He dropped me back at the flat and we stood by the van. “See you on Sunday,” he said. He stroked my bare arms up and down sending shivers through me in the cold air. And then he leant forward and kissed me again. “I love you, my darling beautiful Eve,” he said with soft caressing eyes on my face. He waited for a moment. I said nothing. “Night then,” he said, turning away and opening the van door. “See you on Sunday.”
“Tyler!” I said sharply.
He turned back and look intensely across the space between us at my face.
“I- ” I stopped.
“Say it darling…” He encouraged.
“I’ll miss you,” I said.
“Yes I’ll miss you too,” he said. “But that wasn’t what you were going to say was it?”
I stood stiffly. Not able to say it.
He smiled a bit sadly at me and then blew a kiss and got up into the van. I saw the tail lights disappearing up the street and started to cry. Why hadn’t I said it? Why couldn’t I tell him I loved him? He’d looked so sad. I was so cruel. Why did I have to hold back all the time? Why could I never give myself fully to someone? Now he was gone. And I felt devastated. Desperate. Suddenly I snatched open my bag and pulled out my phone and pressed the button to call him. It rang and rang. He probably couldn’t answer because he was driving. It went to voicemail. I didn’t leave a message. I left about thirty seconds and then rang again. This time he answered it.
“Have I left something behind?” He asked.
“No,” I began to cry. “Please come back!”
“I can’t sweetheart,” he said apologetically. “I need to get home and I’m on the dual carriageway now, I’ve had to pull over to answer this.”
“Please, Tyler, please. Just for a few minutes, it’s important!” I pleaded. I began to sob. What if I never saw him again and I’d never told him I loved him? I wasn’t going to say it over the phone. Not the fir
st time ever. It wouldn’t be the same.
“If I come back I can only stay a few minutes, you understand that?” He bargained.
“Yes,” I said, sniffing and wiping at my eyes.
I stood waiting for him, hoping no-one would pass. Thank goodness the brothel had been cleared out or someone might have assumed I was standing on the corner soliciting.
Finally I saw his van turn back into the street. He’d probably had to go miles to find a way back off the dual carriageway. He drew up beside me, got out and came over. He ran his hands up and down my arms. “You’re freezing Eve. It’s November and you’re standing around in that skimpy dress. You should have gone into the warm.”
“I couldn’t go in until I’d told you I loved you!” I blurted out.
“Oh,” he said, looking intently at me. “Do you love me?”
I began to cry. “Yes, I do. I love you so much! But I’ve never said it to anyone before so I didn’t know how to…”
“What, not even Pete or Quinn?” He established.
I shook my head. “No. Never! I used to be known by my friends as the girl without a heart.”
He smiled and held my face between his hands and looked into my eyes. “Shall we practice then? I’ll say it to you and you can say it back to me.” He paused a moment, then said solemnly, “I love you very much my precious Eve.”
My heart flipped and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “I love you too, Tyler. I love you very much,” I said huskily.
“Ow, I felt like my heart just stopped and started again and squeezed tight in my chest!” He exclaimed.
“I wish you didn’t have to go,” I said wistfully.
“Believe me, so do I, Eve, but I do have to.”
“Well kiss me then, before you go,” I urged, putting my arms around his neck. “Kiss me in a way I’ll remember forever!”
He kissed me and kissed me. I melted and burned inside. He held me so tight I could barely breathe, but I wanted that. I wanted time to end now so we could be together forever. Finally he reluctantly pulled away.
“Seriously Eve my love, I have to go now.”
I held on to his hand tightly but he slid it out of my grasp and turned away. As he got back into the van, closed the door, put on his seatbelt and waved out of the open window, I began to cry again, but I didn’t know why.
On the way over to Belle Vue Jo said, “Fay spoke to me yesterday. She’s going to give up the Stocks at the end of the season. She’s really enjoyed it, it’s been great fun, but she’s decided it’s not really her scene and she’s going to try something else.”
“We’re all too chavvy for her?” I suggested looking sideways at Jo.
Jo was cautious. “Well, she did say that she didn’t think she was going to make a lot of new contacts here.”
“Hmm,” I said meaningfully.
“And she is the sort of woman that if she wasn’t into cars you’d more likely expect to bump into at the Badminton Horse Trials…”
“So what’s she moving on to?” Paul asked.
“Well she says that Autocross would just be too boring now after the Stocks. So she might try Road Rallying where you work have to work in pairs and where she’d make more friends.” Jo reported. “But on a positive note, she says she’s loved it, really she has, and as you know, she did pretty well in all her Whites and Yellows Finals and it’s boosted her confidence no end, but in the final analysis…”
“It was just a diversionary hobby for a year and she’s ready to move on to the next thing?” Pete summed up.
“Yep, that’s exactly it.” Jo agreed. “She’s very grateful to us for giving her a fun and informative year and now she’d like us to try to sell her car for her.”
I could almost hear her polite well modulated voice saying it.
Jo frowned. “It would be good if we could buy the car back and keep it for the next client. We know it works really well, has proved itself bomb proof and we know all its little foibles. Next time maybe we could just loan the car out and make it part of the deal, so we don’t have to keep starting from scratch which each new woman…”
“That sounds very sensible,” Paul said.
“I agree Jo, it makes much more sense but I just don’t know how we’ll get the money together to buy it back,” I said.
“We can have a conflab about it tomorrow if you like,” Paul suggested.
“Yes let’s,” Jo said.
We arrived at Belle Vue and turned in through the high wire fences.
“Are you nervous?” Jo asked me.
“No,” I said. “Can’t wait!”
Me and Tyler would be battling it out for the first time ever for something that really mattered. It would be between me and him only. Not a single other car would be relevant in this, apart from if they got in our way. It would be the first ever true test of my driving skills against his. And it would be a fair test as there were four different races we could score points in, so it wouldn’t all hang on one unfortunate incident – unless we had a sudden mechanical failure of some sort. Now that would be really disappointing!
And on top of that, it was on shale, I thought. My speciality, not his.
I went to look for him. No sign of him yet. But we’d arrived in plenty of time to get a good spot and to get two cars through scrutineering.
Scrutineering over, and I saw Tyler’s van and trailer arriving. Phew! My heart leapt. But then Tom got out of the driver’s seat. He saw my worried face.
“They had a retrieval call-out from the AA just as we left,” Tom explained. “Smashed up car on the motorway. It obviously needed two of them, so he’s gone with Mick and the recovery wagon. But honestly Eve, he has every intention of getting here. I’ll sort out the scrutineering and he’ll follow in the car. They’ve only got to go a couple of miles onto the motorway and once it’s loaded Tyler can follow on here. They’ve left his car at the motorway junction so he can leave Mick in the wagon and transfer straight over without going home.”
“Ok,” I said, biting my lip.
Tom grinned at me. “He wouldn’t miss this for all the world Eve, he’s determined to give you a bloody good run for your money!”
“Ok,” I said, and went back to the Beast.
“Well?” Jo demanded.
“Tom promises he’s on his way.”
I fidgeted around. Other formats were going out. The F1s roaring throatily around and hissing and steaming away as the water was poured dramatically on at the end. I vaguely heard Rob’s number being mentioned, so he must have been in the first three. Some fourteen year old boys were being a right pain with their banger next door. Revving and revving the engine. One of them was grinning and taking a sledge hammer to get into it. Several Dads standing around offering advice. Rev. Rev. The stink of the diesel in the air. Bang, bang as they forced something open. Lots of laughing and shouting. I could distinctly smell a waft of weed on the air. I wished a steward would smell it and nab whoever it was. I kept looking around but couldn’t see who the culprit was. It reminded me of how Jamie’s bedroom constantly smelt for a bit last year. Made me feel sick.
I glanced across at Tom. He glanced significantly at his watch and grimaced at me. I decided I’d better head for the loo to make sure I had no distractions at the last minute for the race. Sometimes you could hang around for ages while they lined everyone up for an important title race, and one of the Junior Banger heats were on just before, so the little tykes could take ages getting off the track, hamming up the injuries so the ambulance people had to come over to check them, and there were always a few being shoved off by the tractors. Yep, it didn’t do to put off having a pee till after a race, you could end up busting. I hoped the horrid little beasts would have some rotten smash ups today. Not because I hated them, but because it would give Tyler more time to get here.
I stood up and then I suddenly doubled over. “Ow!”
Paul and Jo looked round. “What is it, Eve?”
“Ow!” I looked around an
grily. “What hit me?”
Jo looked blank. “I didn’t see anything.”
I straightened up and went to rub my middle, then realised I was absolutely fine. “Sorry,” I covered quickly. “Just off to the loo.”
It was quite a way from the F2 section of the pits over to the stadium loos. Why did no-one ever seem to clear up after those dogs? I thought angrily as I picked my way through piles and piles of whole and squashed dog shit on the bottom steps of the stands. All these kids coming here for a family day out and running around playing and no-one cleaned up after the greyhounds, it was disgusting!
By the time I got back, I realised I felt a bit weird. I kept rubbing at my middle.
“Have you started your period?” Jo asked.
Actually, my period had started the day after I’d last seen Tyler and it had been a heavy one so maybe she was right? It could make you feel a bit strange sometimes. I hoped it wouldn’t take the edge of my driving.
All the F2s started their engines and started to file out into the muddy track down the middle of the pits to head for the gate. They lined up patiently, waiting for the teenagers to finish.
“Well get in then!” Jo said impatiently.
I looked across at Tom. He grimaced and shrugged. He was almost as strung out as myself, I could tell. I slowly pulled on my balaclava and helmet and did it up, then pulled on my gloves. I felt kind of sick. I felt kind of weird. I felt kind of disconnected.
I looked at Paul. “I don’t want to drive,” I said, gripping his gaze desperately with my own.
He looked back at me, assessingly.
“It’s just nerves,” Jo dismissed.
I looked desperately at Paul.
“You have to, Eve!” Jo exploded. “You’ve got to hold onto your title! This is the most important race of the day and if Tyler misses it then it’s just his hard cheddar! You can’t pull out just because he’s not here to win any points with you!” Her tone got angrier and harder.
I swallowed hard and climbed clumsily into the car.
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