by Adam Zorzi
“You want to get a haircut?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to sketch what you want to show the barber?”
“Please.” It came out as two syllables.
“That's easy. Do you want to pose now?”
He nodded.
She got her sketchbook and quickly drew his face. It was oval, hollow-cheeked with small brown eyes and a high forehead. She showed it to him. He looked shocked.
“I forgot. We don't have mirrors. We all look different after time here. Mostly weight loss. We need to find you a style that looks good on you now. Okay?”
He nodded. Again, a movement he hadn't made two weeks ago.
LouLou moved to another chair by a larger window and drew the face with different hair styles. She only knew about styling techniques that were best for her long blonde hair. Thin white hair was another story. She wanted to make his hair look attractive. Or at least not awful.
She tried a style that was straight back off the forehead and ended at the ear, a Richard Gere layered look, a semi buzz cut, and a David Beckham/George Clooney look. She wished, as she did for herself, that he had some wavy texture. A shaggy Johnny Depp would look good and make him not look so old, but that was impossible here. He needed something low maintenance—wash and comb.
Late that afternoon, she showed him the sketches. He looked at the drawings and then looked up at her. He mimed pulling his hair back in a ponytail. “No way, High Life. Pony tails and man buns are out. You have to cut your hair to look current.”
He looked surprised. Was it because she was bossy or knew trends? Either way, he decided on a short David Beckham cut and kept the sketch.
“Good choice. Your mind seems to be working just fine.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
Bella couldn't believe this girl was allowed to go for walks. Skinny, stringy hair, bleary eyes. Too out of it to wear a coat? She probably wouldn't make three laps around the courtyard in this weather. Bella had gone to a lot of trouble to subdue the girl's regular aide, costume herself as a middle-aged Eastern European physiotherapist, and assign herself to LouLou. The fact that the girl was addled worked in Bella's favor.
“Where's my usual guy?” said the girl.
“Out sick. I talk better. Let's go.” She started walking fast, chattering away about nothing, and forcing LouLou to hustle to keep up. LouLou put her hands in her pockets and shivered, whereas Bella had been smart enough to wear boots, a big down coat, a hat over a dark brown wig, gloves, and a plaid muffler. Dark sunglasses covered her unforgettable eyes.
“Come. Move. Walk. Don't you see puddles? Why you walk through puddles? No boots in snow? Feet will be wet. You get cold. Go to infirmary. Many germs there. Many germs. You get sick.”
She picked up the pace with LouLou trying to keep up.
“Come. Come. Finished one trip. Two more to go. Lazy girl. Walk. More. You walk with slow old man. Now you have me. Champion in my country. No drugs. No scandal. No doping. All lies. International committees say doping. No. Never. All me. In good shape. Best shape. Beat all other women.”
She had LouLou breathing hard to keep up in her thin sweatshirt and wet tennis shoes.
“Walk with people like you slow me down. Gain weight. Big ass now. Men like big ass. Still not like I was with medals. Many men want me with medals. Many men.
“You. You have no men. Look at you. Do you have shampoo? Soap? Comb? You skinny mess. No man want mess like you. Okay. Finished two. Last round. Can you make it, slow girl? Slow, skinny girl with no man?”
LouLou was panting. They reached the halfway point, and LouLou stopped.
“Stop? Why you stop? Halfway to end.”
“You’re moving too fast. I can't keep up. I forgot my boots.”
“Tomorrow you know to wear boots. After snow, always puddles. Mud. Slush. Don't you know anything?”
LouLou remained where she was, panting.
“Okay. I understand. Your father take care of you. Tell you what to wear. Where is he today? Asleep? Let you go outside without coat? Boots?”
LouLou didn't move. “My father's not here.”
“Liar. You and crazy father here together. Whole family crazy criminals. Mother crazy. Kills self. Father crazy. Killed wife. You crazy. Do many criminal things.”
“What are you talking about?” The girl sounded exasperated. “My parents live in Washington, DC. They're perfectly healthy. They're not criminals.”
LouLou looked worried, frightened even.
“Dan. Dan Ramsay. He your father. Crazy murderer.”
“No, I talk to him in the day room. He's not my father.” LouLou looked relieved, as though she'd explained everything.
“Liar. I see DNA records. Don't lie. DNA say Dan your father. You his daughter. Different last name. You must got married, so different last names. You born Ramsay. Why you lie?”
“You're the crazy one. My parents aren't here. I don't have a husband.”
“Of course not. Husband run. See crazy criminal family. Get out. Smart man. No babies with crazy wife.” LouLou looked frightened. One more push.
“Crazy mother. Criminal too. Suicide is crime, no? You inherit crazy from parents. Dan Ramsay and dead mother. You never get out. Never. Crazy criminal parents. Crazy criminal daughter.”
“No,” LouLou screamed. She ran, slipping and stumbling, to the door and pounded on it. The guard shook his head. She pointed at the aide in the black down coat. The guard shook his head again, but he opened the door.
“She's crazy,” screamed LouLou. “She's saying crazy things to me. Lock her out. Lock her out.”
Bella made herself invisible.
“There's no one there. Did you go out alone? I'm going to have to report this.” The guard picked up his walkie-talkie. LouLou broke away from the guard and bolted to her room.
Bella smiled. Mission accomplished.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
LouLou locked the door behind her even though everyone on the staff had keys. The furniture, except for a single metal chair, was bolted to the floor. She jammed the chair under the door knob. The best she could do was hide beside her bed next to the wall.
She crouched behind it, thinking of the crazy things that woman had said. High Life was her father? No, that couldn’t be true. It didn’t make any sense. She was lucky to get away from her. Maybe she was a patient who'd gotten out and pretended to be an aide. Where was the old man? Had that woman hurt him? LouLou cried.
The supervising attendant knocked on her door. “Go away. Don't come in. I need to see Dr. Izari. No one else. It's started again.”
“Lou, he's not here. I'll get another doctor.”
“I'm begging you. Please get Dr. Izari. Please. If I don't see him, I think I might die.” She made herself as small as she could behind the bed.
“What's wrong, Lou?”
“Call Dr. Izari. Please.”
She could hear several voices outside. Deciding what to do. Finally, someone called to her.
“I'll call Dr. Izari. A nurse will stay outside your door. He won't let anyone in.”
“Promise?” It was a trick. The nurse would break in. Why couldn't they do the one simple thing she needed?
“Lou, I promise. I'll call Dr. Izari.”
She pulled the blanket off the bed and put it over her like a tent while she sobbed. She had no idea how much time had passed before she heard Dr. Izari's voice. She threw off the blanket and ran to the door, moved the chair, and pulled Dr. Izari into the room. He held her by her shoulders at arm's length.
“What's happened? Why are you wearing wet clothes and shoes? Why are you so frightened?”
“It's starting again. How can it start again when I'm on meds? How? Am I going to be here for the rest of my life?”
“LouLou, sit on the bed.” She did. He pulled the chair next to the bed and sat.
“You can't have another episode while you’re this heavily medicated.” He ga
ve her a blue pill and poured water into a cup from the plastic pitcher of ice and water next to her bed. “This will calm you enough to talk.” He checked her vital signs and sat silently while they waited for the pill to give her some relief.
After about twenty minutes, he gently probed. “You went for your evening walk.”
She had to get this right. She wanted him to believe her. She had to stay calm. She held onto the paper cup. “Yes, but the guy who usually takes me wasn't there. He's a nice old man who doesn't talk too much. There was a new woman today. She talked nonstop. I tried not to listen to her, but she started talking about how my father should make me dress better since we're in the same hospital. She told me Dan—Dan from the dayroom—is my father. She said my mother committed suicide.”
LouLou saw a flash of anger cross Dr. Izari's face, but he recovered quickly.
“She said it was in the records. That's when I knew I was hallucinating. I don't know if there was even a woman with me. I ran to the door and the guard let me in alone. I ran here and begged for you to be called. I don't want to be Sick forever.”
“You're not hallucinating. You're doing well. A little dehydrated, but you're progressing.”
“Then who was that woman?” A terrible thought crossed her mind. “What about the old man who walks with me? Have you seen him? She could have hurt him. She was big. Wide. With huge hands. Like paws, almost. Look for him, please.”
Dr. Izari placed his arms on hers and held her elbows. He forced her to look at him directly.
“That woman is real, not a hallucination. If she's an employee, she'll be fired for upsetting you before I leave the building tonight. She may be from a temporary agency. We try to screen aides, but sometimes a bad one gets through. I'm sorry it happened to you. We'll search for your usual aide.”
“I'm not getting worse?” LouLou asked softly.
“No, you're not.” He stood. “Do you feel up to a shower?”
“No, I don't want to leave my room.”
“Put on your pajamas and get into bed. We'll start a saline IV, and I'll give you something to cause you to sleep through the night. I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning.”
LouLou was spent. She nodded in agreement.
“Dr. Izari, I'm afraid to sleep alone. Can someone stay with me overnight?”
“I'm sorry, but there's no staff to spare.”
A nurse knocked and entered with an IV pole and two bags of solution. “Set that up. I'm going to add Haldol for tonight. Be sure no one enters this room. No one. Call me immediately if there are any problems.”
To LouLou, Dr. Izari said, “Rest tonight. I'll see you in the morning. “
She nodded. She put on her pajamas and got in bed. She felt calmer when the nurse started the IV, smoothed the sheets and blanket on the bed, and gently washed her face with a wet cloth. She closed her eyes.
She heard Dr. Izari shouting as soon as he went into the hallway. “Where is that damned attendant? I want her in police custody, now. Start a search for the male aide.”
***
LouLou slept until almost noon. She'd stirred once during the night and thought she saw Big sitting silently in the chair against the door. He must have been an apparition caused by the meds, but she slept without waking again.
She awoke the next morning feeling less anxious than she had during this stay. LouLou showered, shampooed and dried her hair, put a light moisturizer on her face, and dressed in clean scrubs and her dried white canvas shoes.
Given the amount of meds circulating in her system, she felt quiet. Almost still. Like she was in a stupor. She liked the feeling of being just under the surface of where humans lived. Feeling like a weight had lifted, she decided she felt well enough to wait for her appointment with Dr. Izari in the day room. She thought that was probably an hour from now.
“Lou, or shall I say Sleeping Beauty. Heard you were in a stir last night. You okay?” Big asked. He patted the space next to him on the sofa for her to sit.
“I think the staff is crazier than we are.” She looked bewildered.
Big laughed with his deep, rich, bass voice. “Oh Lou, I agree. One hundred percent. I agree. Heard they found the elderly gentleman who accompanies you on your walks with his hands and feet tied with rope and a bandana in his mouth in the laundry room.”
“Oh, that poor man. Was he hurt?” That nice man. How awful for him.
“Not that I heard. Shaken. Had a story about some big woman in a puffy coat mugging him.”
“Then it's true. That woman who took me on a walk yesterday said she was subbing for him. She was big with a black down coat, rubber boats, hat and scarf.”
“What did she do to make you think she was as crazy as we are?”
“She scared me. Dr. Izari said he was going to have her fired and arrested.”
“That's a new one. Docs don't usually get involved in hiring and firing aides. She must have been bad to the bone. Did she hurt you?” Big searched her face with his eyes for signs of trauma. LouLou had no poker face. Everything she felt could be read on her face.
“She had me panting, but she made me think I was having an episode even though I shouldn't because I'm on meds. I ran away from her.”
“Sorry, Lou. A crazy staffer, man.”
“When I think about it, she didn't look crazy. She said crazy stuff. She didn't even try to catch me after I ran away. It was almost like she was deliberately trying to scare me. Once she did, she left.”
Big put his giant left arm around her small shoulders. “You're safe now.”
Dan slowly made his way to them and sat in a chair next to Big. “Overheard. Not eavesdropper. Sorry.” He sometimes spoke in longer phrases now but very slowly.
“Oh, High Life, don't be silly. Nothing's private here. Everything about her seemed wrong. I didn't want to go outside with her. Then when she started telling me crazy stories, I freaked.”
“What kind of stories?” Big asked .
“She told me I inherited a crazy criminal gene. She said my father's a criminal with a mental illness, I'm a criminal with a mental illness, and my mother probably had a mental illness because she committed suicide. She said suicide is a crime. I don't think that's true. When I tried to argue, she just repeated herself.”
“For real?” Big looked surprised. LouLou leaned her head on Big's shoulder, and he wrapped both arms around her. “That's a whopper of a story. Sounds like something from an old movie. She does sound crazy. Wonder why she picked on you?”
“I've no idea. All of it was a lie. There's no way she could've seen my records. I was born in Paris, and my birth certificate is in French. I doubt she reads French.”
“Born in Paris?” Dan asked.
“Yes. Paris is my real home. It's the city where my mother and I really belong. DC is way too provincial for us, but it's where Dad works now.”
“Sounds nice,” Dan said. “Never been to Europe.”
“Guys, that's another thing that makes her story so weird. She said Dan was my father.”
Big guffawed, but Dan went completely still.
“High Life.” She leaned forward from Big's embrace and put her outstretched hand on his knee.
“Month?” he whispered. “Birthday month?”
“April. Like April in Paris,” she crooned.
Dan stared at her in disbelief. His eyes panned her face.
“Bella. Bella's eyes. Bella's mouth. Bella's daughter.” Dan put his right hand to his chest, slumped in his wheelchair, and seemed to lose consciousness. He mumbled “Bella” over and over.
Big heaved himself off the sofa and crossed the room to press the panic button. Then he picked up Dan, who was as limp as a child, and carried him out of the room. “C'mon, Lou.”
LouLou became alert and hurried after Big, who was moving quickly down the hallway to Dan's room. Big placed Dan in bed and told LouLou to pull the covers around him. She grabbed an extra blanket and tucked it around Dan. Big's large fingers were aroun
d Dan's wrist. “Does your chest hurt, Dan?”
“Yes,” Dan whispered. “Am I having a heart attack?”
“Probably not, but we're going to the ER.”
LouLou looked at Big in amazement. He knew what to do in a crisis. Big broke the glass door to the cabinet holding a portable oxygen tank and nasal canula. “Hook this up,” he said to LouLou before he unlocked the wheels on the bed and wheeled Dan into the hall. When she had it ready, Lou ran after them, inserted the nasal canula, and attached the canister to the bed. A plastic packet filled with other emergency items had fallen on the floor when Big broke the cabinet open. She tossed them to Big.
“Push him. Fast.” Big shouted. He dug into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a handful of pills. All shapes, colors, and sizes. He picked a blue tablet and a white, round coated tablet.
“Swallow this pill, Dan.” He put the white pill in Dan's mouth and watched him swallow. “Now, I'm going to put this blue pill under your tongue. Don't swallow it. Let it dissolve.”
LouLou was blindly pushing the bed down the corridor as fast as she could. Big took a quick look at the plastic bag and threw it on Dan's bed, took over pushing, and said, “Make sure that canula stays in place. Nothing for us to use in that bag. Good catch, though.”
Big broke into a run, and LouLou tried to keep up. Down one long corridor, around the corner to a glass corridor that led to a spoke with openings to each wing of the building.
Big yelled directions. “The ER is the far wing on the left.”
They dashed through the concourse and through the swinging ER doors. No one stopped them. No one was there to notice them. Big pushed Dan up to a doctor and halted. By the time LouLou caught up, she was panting.
She heard Big talking to the ER doctor. “Collapsed seven minutes ago. Tachy. Chest pain. Semi-alert. Took aspirin, valium, and oxygen.”