by Adam Zorzi
Selma didn't speak for a bit. LouLou did.
“My parents are perfect. I love them with all my heart because they taught me how to love. I'll never think of anyone else as my parents. Ever.”
“LouLou, I think you're a remarkable woman. You're very adept at describing your feelings. I see a watchfulness in Dan now. To a much lesser extent, of course, but he's vigilant against anything that might bring on a depressive episode.”
She removed her hand from LouLou's and placed it in her lap. “I can't say I didn't have sentimental expectations that you'd embrace Dan as a family member. He was devastated when Bella left. He lived with his father and me for almost three years and I frankly didn't think he'd survive. By the time he did marry, he was much less than his former self. Had he known about you, I think his life would have been so much better.” She had a wistful look, as though she truly wanted to turn back the clock.
“Maybe, Selma, but mine wouldn't have been.”
Selma's composure dissipated.
“From what little I know from Dan and now you, I think I would have been a lost child. Dan and Bella were so obsessed with each other, there wasn't room for a child. Certainly not one with schizophrenia. If I hadn't already been banished to boarding school, I would've been sent to a psychiatric facility. Plush, no doubt, but a permanent institution nonetheless. I'm grateful Dan never knew and I was adopted by people who wanted and cherished me. I know I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them. So, no, I'm not going to help your fantasy come true.”
That was probably too harsh, but she wanted Selma to understand she wasn't going to change her mind.
“Obsessed. Interesting word choice. Dan's father and I used to say he was possessed by Bella.” She sipped more tea, but her hand shook as she held the cup.
“Selma, I know Dan has a mental illness. I don't know what and don't want to know. I know he needs supportive friends and family. I'm simply not healthy enough myself to be of any assistance to Dan. He would drag me down with him. I understand you're Dan's mother. You want to help him, but I'm not an option. All of my love, loyalty, and very survival are due my parents. Do we understand each other?”
Selma lowered her eyes, and when she raised them to look at LouLou they were brimming with tears.
“LouLou, you must have remarkable parents. You're a brave young woman with a loving spirit.”
“I owe them everything.”
Selma placed her cup back on the tray along with her napkin.
“I don't want to be disloyal to my son, but you are my granddaughter. You raised a topic I worry about. I think Dan is becoming pre-occupied with you. Not to the extent he was with Bella. Far, far less than that.”
That gnawing feeling started in LouLou's stomach. This is what she’d feared. She slipped her hand into her tote and grabbed a blue pill. She placed it under her tongue and took a long sip of club soda.
“Are you saying I'm in danger, Selma?” Freeze. Freeze. Freeze.
“Not danger, no. He doesn't want to hurt you. He wants to see you. You're his child with Bella, and he can't stand that he never knew about you. He's frustrated that you won't see him.”
“Is he a threat to me?” This was exactly what she knew would happen. “Is he going to hound me until I say yes, have a psychotic episode, and possibly kill both of us as well as innocent bystanders?
Selma made a startled noise.
“That's what would happen, Selma. I'm not exaggerating. My psychotic episodes are violent. Before my last episode, I'd only committed property crimes. Vandalism. Theft. Arson. The last time I assaulted a cab driver and two policemen. My psychiatrists have warned me the violence will escalate should I have more episodes. My delusions and hallucinations will become darker and darker. The fact that he can't accept my boundaries frightens me. It should frighten you too, for Dan. Does he know where I live? Tell me the truth.”
“No, he contacted you through your doctor, just as I did.”
“Is he stalking me?” Freeze. Freeze. Freeze.
“No. He lives with me in a gated retirement community. He takes long walks around the grounds with his dog Ivan. He sticks to a routine. He doesn't have a driver's license so his brother drives him when he leaves the community.”
“Do you know if he's told his psychiatrist about me?”
“He hasn't told me that.”
“Does he spend a lot of time on the computer? He could be cyber stalking me.”
“He uses a laptop, yes.”
“He knows who my parents are, right?” No. No. No.
“Yes. Your father was a public figure.” Selma pushed her empty cup aside. “This is beginning to sound like an interrogation.”
“You, Dan, and I could be in danger if this is some kind of set-up. Did Dan put you up to seeing me and then plan to make an appearance after you paved the way?”
“No. Certainly not.” The elderly woman seemed surprised and then frightened.
“Does Dan know you were meeting me today? Did you drive here? Where does he think you are?”
“I told Dan I was going shopping. I drove the only car we have. He didn't seem the least bit suspicious. Short of taking a taxi, he doesn't have transportation. He couldn't have followed me.”
LouLou had already put her napkin on the table. She was ready to flee. “I appreciate your telling me this. I'll let my psychiatrist know. Who is Dan's therapist?”
Selma reached into her handbag, pulled out a business card, and handed it to LouLou.
“My psychiatrist will speak to his and make him aware of this near-obsession with me. That may send Dan back to a psych hospital until he realizes he can't turn back time and that I'm not Bella.”
“I hope that doesn't happen, but I don't want either of you to be in danger.”
LouLou needed to make this elderly woman understand what a dangerous path her son was taking.
“Selma, hear me. My psychotic episodes are violent and escalating. If Dan pursues me, he's putting himself and the rest of his family at risk. My mind is turned over to the voices in my head and my body does whatever those voices say. If those voices were to say Dan was my enemy and he and his entire family had to be hacked to death with a hatchet, I'd get one and kill all of you, including his child.”
Color drained from Selma's pleasant face. Her hands flew over her mouth to stifle a scream. She'd been graphic, but Selma had to know how serious her illness was and how dangerous it would be for Dan to push her into an episode.
“Be afraid for your family. Dan's heading to dangerous territory.”
LouLou left and jumped into the first cab waiting in front of the hotel and went straight to the Jefferson Hotel, where she took another cab to Vinyl. Once she was with Skylar and Gregg, she'd be safe.
CHAPTER
FIFTY-ONE
LouLou relayed what Selma had said to Gregg and Skylar as soon as she arrived at Vinyl. Skylar led her to the room behind his office, where she sat on a zebra-striped velvet sofa. “From my LSD days,” Skylar said. Robert settled himself on her lap.
She took another blue pill and drank it with ice cold water. Ice always soothed her. Gregg sat next to her on the sofa and held her hand. Skylar sat on a neon lime beanbag chair close to her. LouLou wondered if Skylar had bought the furniture while he was on an acid trip or if he’d taken acid because he lived with the furniture.
“What do we do now?” Skylar asked. He transformed into full attack mode, ready to fight demons.
“I'm headed to my psychiatrist's office. I'll call the cops from there.”
“What will your doctor do?” Gregg asked.
“She'll assess me and make sure I'm okay. She'll contact Dan's therapist and fill him in. It's up to his therapist as to what to do next with fourth-hand information. All mental health professionals, whether they're psychiatrists or psychologists, have a duty to warn others if there's an immediate possibility of the patient doing something dangerous. Some therapists are cautious about the word immediate or imminent o
r whatever the exact legal term is.”
Skylar stood. “That's not good enough. Call your uncle. Unless the cops say no, get out of town. Stay in Middleburg with your mother and your uncle's family.”
“I intend to.” She looked at Gregg. “I'm sorry, but I have to leave. If Dan's made it to Vinyl, my loft is probably next. I don't want anyone to get hurt. His mother didn't have a clue as to whether he was even on medication.”
Gregg stood and hugged her tightly. “I love you. Don't let Bella and Dan take you away from me.”
“Nothing will, Gregg. I love you.”
Skylar tossed Gregg keys. “Put the closed sign on the door. You and Robert mind things here. I'm going to the doctor with LouLou in a cab.”
***
LouLou's psychiatrist Dr. Baldwin didn't seem to notice Skylar sitting in the waiting room with LouLou. She was intent on hearing LouLou's story about Dan.
“Dr. Baldwin, this is my friend, Skylar. You can tell him anything you need to help me. Do you want me to sign a release?”
“We can do that in my office.”
In the exam room, Dr. Baldwin took LouLou's vital signs, did a mini-mental assessment, and asked if she felt suicidal. “Your blood pressure is high. So is your temperature. Your pulse is fast. How do you feel?”
“Scared, Dr. Baldwin. Terrified, really, that I might have an episode at any minute. I don't want anything to do with Dan Ramsay or his family. His mother said he was obsessed with Bella and almost died of grief when she left him. He attempted suicide. She said he has a pre-occupation, at least with me, but I don't think she's fully aware of how he spends his days. He's cyber stalking me at best.” LouLou handed Dr. Baldwin the doctor's card Selma had given her along with one of the sketches she'd made of Dan. “Here's the card for his doctor. I've been giving the sketch to people at places I frequently go. This is what he looked like as of yesterday.”
Dr. Baldwin accepted both without comment. “I'm going to give you a sedative and a booster injection of one of your anti-psychotic meds. Then we'll talk.”
LouLou started to sweat. The sedative and shot came as a relief. She wanted to feel the flow of her ammunition against an episode. Knowing that it was channeling through her veins against one was comforting.
“Let the meds work and I'll make some phone calls.” With Dr. Baldwin out of the room, LouLou was pleased not to be alone. Skylar's old hippie personality comforted her.
When Dr. Baldwin returned, she was pleased to have spoken directly to Dan's doctor.
“I advised Dr. Ramsay's physician of Mr. Ramsay's obsession with you. Most obsessives are good at hiding that inclination. I specifically warned him of your precarious psychiatric state and the danger of Mr. Ramsay pursuing you. The information flow was one way. Mr. Ramsay's doctor didn't give me any indication of his condition, treatments, or whether he was keeping appointments. He was following the privacy regulations to protect his patient. He can be much more forthcoming with the police than with me.
“I also contacted the Richmond Police and Lieutenant Douglas Winston of the Virginia Bureau of Criminal Investigation, in part because I've worked with him and found him to be an excellent investigator who takes threats seriously and because he'd be responsible for any investigation that might cross city and county boundaries. Do you know where Mr. Ramsay lives?”
“No. His mother merely said a gated retirement community,” LouLou whispered.
“I sent along copies of the sketch. That was smart thinking, LouLou. Your mind is working. You're protecting yourself.”
There was something Dr. Baldwin wasn't saying.
“Dr. Baldwin, please tell me what you know.”
“It's merely my professional observation. It corroborates what you suspected. The man in that sketch has either not been treated for a while or has abruptly stopped. He's deteriorating. Nothing new. Nothing you didn't already know.
“Your uncle has asked a government agency to drive you to Middleburg with a psychiatric nurse practitioner. LouLou, you're safe. You're going to remain safe. You're going to be with your family. You haven't missed any medications. I've given you a booster and will give you something to add to your daily medication. The chance of you having an episode is low and contained.
“If you need to be admitted while you're in Middleburg, go to Shepherd Hospital in Loudon County. It's small, private, and bucolic. I have privileges there, but I also know every one of the doctors. They're all good. I don't think it will be necessary. You need time for stronger medication to become effective and a place to quiet yourself while the police do their job.”
When the car arrived, Skylar hugged LouLou and reminded her how much he needed her to keep Vinyl going. She knew he meant he loved her.
“Please call Roy and let him know I decided to go out of town. He knows why. Take care of Robert. I'll be back as soon as I can.” She was not going to let Bella Davis or Dan Ramsay take her down.
CHAPTER
FIFTY-TWO
LouLou's mother met the car in the dark, cool night. She hugged her daughter close. LouLou held on tight to her mother. Collin came out, chatted with the driver, and invited the nurse inside. Tux wagged his tail as though he was happy to see someone who might belong only to him.
Liz greeted her at the door with a smile and a hug. “You've got time to shower and change before dinner. We're on our own tonight and are going to eat a little late. Do you want a snack now?”
LouLou calculated when she'd last eaten. “Yes, Aunt Liz, I would. Something like cheese, crackers, olives. Nothing fancy.
“Coming right up.” Liz left for the kitchen.
LouLou's mom followed her to the guest room next to hers, where she'd be staying. She hugged LouLou again. “Are you really all right? That man doesn't know where you are, does he? He's not going to hurt you?”
“No, Mom. Dr. Baldwin assured me getting out of town was the best thing to do, and she gave me additional medication. I'll be fine. I just need time to let the cops do their job.”
LouLou's mother sat in one of the blue cushioned chairs. “I think it's more than the police. Your uncle was on the phone with all kinds of government agencies this afternoon. I think the FBI may be investigating. Or maybe Homeland Security. I don't know. I just know some federal agency is on the case.”
“Good. Let's not talk about it anymore.” She looked inside her tote. In addition to sketches of Dan, all she had were meds and changes of underwear. She had one knit dress she could just pull over her head. It would have to do.
***
“How's my girl?” Collin boomed when LouLou came downstairs. He kissed the top of her head.
Liz and her mom were having drinks in the family room. Orchid shared her mother's chair. Tux wagged his tail until LouLou sat and he settled himself beside her.
“Shaky.”
“Let me change and we'll talk.” He mixed himself a scotch and headed toward the bedroom.
“When's dinner?” he asked when he returned, freshened his drink, and sat next to Liz.
“At least an hour,” Liz said.
Collin kissed Liz on the cheek and took her hand. before addressing LouLou. “Do you feel well enough for this?”
“I have to say it all now. With the stronger medication, I may sleep for the next two days. Mom and I have a long story.”
Over appetizers, LouLou's mother started to tell Liz and Collin about the adoption because she considered it her story to tell. She and LouLou's father had deceived the family for thirty years.
Collin waved his drink as if he were swatting a fly. “You don't have to do this. Dr. Baldwin told me enough about why this Dan Ramsay is interested in LouLou this afternoon.”
“You didn't tell me,” Liz said to her husband. She turned to her sister-in-law. “This is your story. If there's some information we should know, do you mind just giving us the basics?”
LouLou relaxed. Uncle Collin and Liz weren't going to quiz her mother. They just wanted to hear enough to under
stand what was going on.
Liz's words seemed to relax her mother as well. “Liz, we'd hoped to keep this private. LouLou was adopted from a beautiful, intelligent, gifted student at the Sorbonne. Her father and I took her home when she was two days old. We never told anyone. No one, including LouLou.”
“LouLou is your daughter and our niece. How she came to be is no one's concern,” Collin said. LouLou went to him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, Uncle Collin. It's not important to me at all. Mom and Dad are my parents. Do you really not mind?”
“Of course not. I love you for you.”
“Do you mind, Liz?”
“Gracious no, dear.” Liz hugged her as well.
Collin popped a fat olive in his mouth. “Liz, LouLou's biological father is causing a problem. He and LouLou were both in the same psych hospital when they were told of their relationship. This man, Dan Ramsay, may want more of LouLou than she can give. The feds are on it.”
Liz looked puzzled. “What about the girl from the Sorbonne? The biological mother?”
“Dead.” Collin popped another olive. “More than fifteen years ago. Suicide after 9/11. She's out of the picture. This Ramsay fellow can cause problems.”
“Oh, I see.” Liz drank half of her wine in about two sips. “This is quite sad, isn't it? For everyone.”
Collin slapped his hands on his knees. “Shall we eat, then?”
“No, that's the tip of the story. Do you need an appetizer?” LouLou's mom snapped at her older brother.
“Well, yes, if this is going to be long. Liz, don't we have more of that Gouda and those thick biscuits? And some nuts? And pepper jelly?”
The tray must have been prepared because Liz was back in moments.
“Go on,” Collin said as he made snacks for himself. He offered them to LouLou, who took a small plate, and her mom, who refused. Liz took two appetizers and finished her wine and poured another glass. “Uncle Collin, what did Dr. Baldwin tell you about Dan stalking me?”