Indra stared after him, looking quite understandably dumbfounded. “What the hell was—”
“Nothing. I don’t know. Don’t worry about it,” Annie said quickly, moving past him and turning right, to head in the opposite direction from where Jay had disappeared. “Come on, lots more to see.”
Shaking his head, Indra followed, seeming glad to leave the strange encounter behind them. Shiloh kept quiet, absorbing everything xie’d just seen, knowing right now that letting any of this go was out of the question. Xie couldn’t quite think of an un-awkward, inconspicuous way to ask xir uncle about any of this but this conversation definitely had to happen, and as soon as possible. Shiloh remembered having that look on xir own face not long ago. Out in the Tartarus wastelands, staring into something that wore xir father’s face, but didn’t have his eyes.
It looked like Jay had seen a ghost.
“Come on, next stop!” Annie grinned, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she led the way down one of the FireRunner’s corridors. It sloped down and was an even tighter squeeze than most of the ones they’d seen yet, windowless and not quite as well-lit. “I’ve been waiting to show you this for days.”
“Is it another new friend?” Indra asked with something between excitement and apprehension, walking down the center of the small, windowless hall and keeping his eyes forward.
“Uh, maybe,” she evaded, almost laughing as she reached a heavy metal door with a round wheel in the center, which squeaked as she began to turn it. “It’s always been a friend of mine.”
She opened the door and they stepped through.
“Holy crap,” Indra murmured, eyes widening and mouth falling open.
“I know, right?” Annie smirked. “I was gonna tell you but, really, you had to see for yourself.”
It looked like they’d stepped into another world. The innermost depths of the FireRunner held a huge, metal-walled cavern, ceiling arcing so far overhead it was almost lost in the low light. It had to be an emptied water tank, Shiloh realized—and converted into some kind of in-ship forest. Full-grown trees rose up from the center of the room on a hill covered in grass and thick bushes of roses. The growth was old and extensive. Clearly, the garden here had been taken care of for years if not decades. And, above it all, rose a towering tree, its branches stretching up into a darkness so velvety and complete it looked like the night sky, the soft lights like stars.
There was grass underfoot, and the air was cool and damp, and carried the delicate fragrance of the hundreds of pink roses climbing the metal walls. The only sound was softly running water; somewhere there had to be an actual stream. A soft glow came from above and Shiloh looked up to see strings of tiny bulbs like Christmas lights and paper lanterns, clustered like stars or iridescent moss. It felt like going deep underground or maybe another planet—one that was quiet, peaceful, and very, very safe.
“I didn’t think this was real,” Shiloh whispered, staring up at the huge tree in the center. It seemed as tall as the crow’s nest on the deck above but, more than that, it was familiar. Shiloh knew this tree. Xie’d sat in its branches in a dream. “How did this… happen?”
“It took a long time. Rose—one of our friends in Parole, she’s incredible—started it, like just to see if she could do it. Guess she could. That was like, what, five years ago?”
“All this in five years?” Shiloh marveled, turning xir head to stare at a small but thick bunch of huge Venus Flytraps that rose around five feet into the air on snakelike stems. Xie could swear they moved to follow xir, almost like they were ‘staring’ right back.
“Yep. Rose is the best. Just about every plant Parole has left came from her. But this is the nicest garden, way bigger than anything Parole has. Look!” Annie smiled, pointing up at a hammock hanging from a sturdy branch. She looked more confident and comfortable than either of them had ever seen her, as if she’d stepped onto solid ground the moment her boots had hit the metal deck. “I love hanging out up there—that is the best spot on the entire ship for naps. It’s also mine. Rowan says it’s theirs. It’s not. It’s mine.”
“Hey, what kind of tree is this?” Shiloh asked, trying not to laugh as a sudden pleasant suspicion dawned. “A rowan?”
“No.” All the energy went out of Annie’s suddenly flat voice, all the excitement and light faded from her eyes. Her smile faded too. “It’s an ash.”
Instantly, Shiloh wished that instead of manipulating energetic fields or signals, xie had the ability to go back a few seconds in time and un-ask that question. “I’m sorry, Annie.”
“It’s just one of those things.” She shrugged and stared down at the thick green grass between her shoes. But no matter how rare and lovely grass like this had to be to someone who had spent over half their life in Parole, Shiloh wasn’t sure she actually saw it.
“So, Ash was Rowan’s brother, right?” Indra asked abruptly after a moment, forcedly casual tone only clashing further with the suddenly uncomfortable silence.
“Yeah. And my godfather.” Her words sounded almost memorized. Like she was forming the syllables, but unable to focus on their meaning. Dropping them for others to figure out. “My parents don’t trust anybody, really, that’s probably how they’re still alive. But they trust Ash. Trusted. They trusted him.”
“What was he like? You don’t have to tell me,” Indra quickly amended, seeming to realize too late exactly what he was doing and how fragile of ground they might both be treading upon.
“No, it’s okay. He was…” Annie didn’t look up or continue right away but the way her face slowly twisted into a grimace spoke volumes of unspoken tension, grief, and the monumental effort required to hold the storm of emotion inside. Or maybe the opposite. Maybe expressing it was the hard part. Maybe nothing about this was easy at all. “Funny. Brave. Nice—God, I don’t know!”
“I’m sorry.” Indra held up his hands, but didn’t step back, no matter how much he looked like he wanted to. “I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s not you!” She shook her head so fast her uneven hair flew. “It’s him! It’s my mom and dad still stuck in that place, it’s everyone missing—what am I even supposed to say? You get so used to a thing, or a person—if they’re good to you and they’re a part of your life, then they’re what your life is made of! How do you even describe something that’s always there, so much you don’t even think about it—they’re like a part of your body! You don’t think about it until it hurts! Or air! You don’t think about it until you can’t breathe!”
Indra didn’t say a word. Neither did Shiloh.
“When Ash was around, things felt normal.” Annie’s voice was flat again. It didn’t sound any happier than her painful desperation. “I’d look up and he was there. Now he’s not.”
“But you’re still here.” Indra spoke quietly, looking, not at her, but up at the very familiar tree where they’d met so many times in dreams.
“Yeah. I sure am.” Annie’s voice was bitter. Shiloh’s heart ached at the sound but didn’t know what to say, what would help or hurt. So xie kept xir mouth shut. Indra didn’t, but his tone was so low both of his friends almost had to lean closer to hear.
“You got home safe,” he said slowly, proceeding with caution. “I gotta believe he’d be happy about that. And want you to stop beating yourself up about this.”
“You don’t know that.” She folded her arms around her upper body. “Nobody can know anything he would have thought about anything, not anymore. And you didn’t know him.”
He nodded once, as if conceding her the point. “No, I didn’t. And I’ve never had a godfather either. But a good, funny, brave guy who you look up to and makes you feel safe and normal… that sounds like a good big brother. And I had one of those.” He shrugged, let out a soft sigh. “Takes one to know one.”
Annie didn’t answer. By unspoken agreement, Indra and Shiloh looked in any other direction but Annie when she dragged her sleeve across her eyes, gave a loud sniff, then
wiped her eyes again. The three of them stood together looking up at the tree’s spreading branches and soft lights for a long time. Nobody wanted to be the first one to leave.
* ☆ *
Shiloh headed across the top deck, followed by the fast, heavy click-clanks of Toto-Dandy’s huge paws. The late afternoon was warm and windy and, although xie carried an oxygen mask like everyone did while above-deck, they hadn’t reached any Tartarus outskirts concentrated enough to make wearing one a necessity. Couldn’t be too careful, but the air was safe for now.
“Hello there,” a voice called down and Shiloh looked up, shielding xir eyes. Even behind xir sunglasses and the subtle darkness that cloaked the ship, Shiloh’s sensitive eyes felt a pang at the direct sunlight. As if in response, the shade intensified until the area around them seemed washed in low purple twilight and the pain faded. With the bright light dissolved, Shiloh could clearly see Captain Aliyah on a nearby higher level, up a metal stairway and looking out at the horizon.
“Come on up!” She waved. “I want to show you something.”
Remembering Annie’s same words from not long ago, Shiloh complied, wondering what lay in store out here. Dandy paused at the stairs but didn’t follow. Instead, he looked up at Shiloh and the captain with a tilted head and cocked ear, gaze bright and oddly intense. Then he turned and headed off with purpose, pursuing his own mysterious errand. Not for the first time, Shiloh had to wonder exactly how intelligent these synthetic-but-alive animals were and what that one in particular saw with those cold blue eyes.
“Finding your way around all right?” the captain asked when Shiloh came up level. Beside her on the wide, flat railing rested a large metal coffee pot and steaming cup with another one beside it.
“I’m getting there,” Shiloh said, thinking about the labyrinthine network of corridors below. “Annie’s been really helpful. Everyone has.”
“Glad to hear it, not surprised. They’re a good bunch.” She gave a satisfied nod. “Coffee?”
Shiloh glanced at the one half-full cup—black, no cream or sugar around. And the sun was going down but xie wasn’t about to rudely refuse anything the captain offered, not after she’d also offered her ship and home. “Please—and thank you.”
She poured one cup and took a few short sips of her own. The metal cup was warm and comforting in Shiloh’s hands but the liquid inside was like an electric shock to the tongue. To say it was the strongest coffee Shiloh had ever tasted would have been an understatement by about a million degrees—coincidentally, that also seemed to be its temperature.
“A bit strong?” Aliyah asked, eyes glinting with amusement.
“Just a little,” Shiloh rasped with difficulty.
“Well, thank you for joining me anyway. Not many people left on board who’ll take me up on this offer. Can’t imagine why.” Behind her, Aliyah’s wings spread out wide, each golden feather stretching to catch the sun that filtered through the protective field. Her pinions spread like rays of a halo, gleaming until it looked as though she were wreathed in golden flame.
“Thank you, Captain,” Shiloh said in a slightly stronger voice. Though surprisingly strong and hot, the coffee had an aftertaste that wasn’t at all unpleasant and xie soon realized xie was gearing up for the next sip. “I mean, for this and everything.”
“Quite welcome—and it’s just Aliyah. Ma’am in a pinch. ‘Captain’ is reserved for official channels, strangers, and those who’ve really annoyed me. And that’s not you, not yet anyway.” She stretched one wing up and over her head, casting a welcome shadow in the hot sun over them both. “You’re a guest here and among friends. So if there’s anything you need, give a shout.”
“Well, there is one thing,” xie responded after a brief hesitation. “Arnold-Chiari Malformation. That’s what these are for,” xie tapped xir dark lenses. Nobody else wore their sunglasses on board; apparently Shiloh was the only one with a physical need. “And I take meds for the pain, which help a lot. But I’m starting to run low and getting refills out here might be a problem.” It was a fear that had been on xir mind for days. But in all the bizarre and life-altering events of the past several days, mundane needs like this, even urgent ones, tended to get overlooked.
“Not as hard as you’d think.” Aliyah gave an easy shrug with one shoulder and corresponding wing. “A great deal of our time and energy is specifically dedicated to getting people the help they need. Or was, until we were volunteered for this specialty task.”
“Seriously?” Shiloh had to ask in some disbelief, but it was happy disbelief.
Now she grinned; clearly this was a source of some pride. “What do you think we’re transporting right now? It’s not just water. Antibiotics, vaccines, hormones. Tell Rowan what you need, they’ll help you find it. Failing that, we can probably recreate something fairly close.”
“Wow, okay.” Shiloh had been ready for something devastating or at least to start problem-solving. The lack of a crisis was momentarily off-putting. “I kind of expected that to be more of a problem.”
“I understand why you would. The world’s an unfriendly place even if your body and mind aren’t trying to trip you up every day. But nobody’s getting left behind just because they need a bit of assistance. Most of us do in some way or another.” She gave Shiloh a quick nod as if to say that was the end of it. “And I’m anticipating a smooth trip otherwise. Not much to worry about until we get into Tartarus proper. Hopefully, we won’t even do much of that.”
“No on ozone, yes on toxic storms, right?”
“That’s correct.” Aliyah looked out toward the open horizon and the setting sun. “But we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it and we’ve still got a few days to procure working shields before we press on.”
“How about Eye in the Sky?” Shiloh remembered the intimidating man outside Radiance HQ and suppressed a shiver despite the warm afternoon. “Is there a chance they might come after us?”
“Really on top of things, aren’t you?” She looked over with a slight eyebrow raise. “Granted, it could get a bit exciting if anyone catches wise that we’re not strictly on the Radiance up-and-up. But we’ve been at this a good while. I wouldn’t worry.”
“I’ll try not to,” Shiloh said and tried to smile as well. “It’s just getting a little harder.”
“Isn’t that the truth. But it’s not all bad—we’re finally seeing some success at containing Tartarus. Five beacons down, five to go. It’s a stopgap measure at best, I know, but having that thing boxed in will buy us some time at least.” She was quiet for a moment. When she continued, her tone had dropped just enough casualness that Shiloh suspected this was the real reason xie’d been invited into this conversation. “Shiloh, perhaps you can help me with something. You and your mother have something of a unique perspective on Tartarus and its ghostly inhabitants, correct?”
“You could say that. We’ve never actually been inside but she probably knows more than anyone about what it’s made of.” Shiloh thought about the burn-like poison wound spreading across Indra’s arm and wrapped xir hands more firmly around the warm cup to stave off the sudden chill. “But not everything.”
“Ah, but none of us have ever gotten quite so up close and personal.” Aliyah didn’t sound envious exactly, but definitely intrigued. “At least, not on speaking terms.”
“You want me to tell you about the ghosts.” Shiloh quickly took another sip of coffee to cover xir surprise. It was just as strong as before but Shiloh must have been acquiring a taste for it because it went down much more easily, for which xie was also grateful.
“If you wouldn’t mind. I’d ask Annie, but I want to give her more time to recover from what had to be… a challenging trip.”
“Challenging is right.” Shiloh frowned, trying to sort out a concept with too many unknowns and not enough answers. “Uh, my mom’s always thought they were trying to communicate. But not with the repeated words they actually said.”
“And is she right? The most
we know about them is that inhaling the air around them can be extremely toxic.” Her face darkened slightly. “As your friend Indra would no doubt agree.”
“It only attacked after it got scared,” Shiloh said hurriedly. Why xie suddenly felt defensive about this, xie wasn’t sure, but it did seem important. “Just like before, the first one. In Meridian. Eye in the Sky shot at it, and then it attacked. And then later, I know your big robot wolf—Dandy?—he thought he was helping, but he scared it. It wasn’t going to attack us, at least I don’t think so. It was talking to us. Then everything went wrong.”
“It was speaking to you? You mean mimicking?”
“No, like actual new words. It said ‘exchange.’” Shiloh paused. “It… it looked like my father at the time. So it was definitely talking right to me. Then it pointed out the lights that led us here. I think it wants us to help it.”
“Help it do what?” Aliyah was watching Shiloh now with a shrewd gaze but xie didn’t get the feeling she was studying xir directly. Instead, it seemed like she was adding all this to an already-half-completed puzzle, trying to make sense of a much bigger problem.
“‘Turn out the lights,’” Shiloh said slowly, unsure of xir own meaning. Xie was having trouble even with this small piece; xie couldn’t even guess at the larger one.
“Well, it sounds to me like it turned the lights on.”
“I know. They’re hard to figure out. But it pointed us in the right direction. It led us right here. Why would it help us?”
“You’d have to ask a ghost itself, I suppose, but they’ve never actually spoken to us.”
“Well, that one did!” Shiloh said eagerly, somehow glad to have something nobody else did, even a single word. “It said something else, too. ‘Icarus.’”
“Well, now, that is interesting.” Aliyah’s black eyes widened.
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