by Marien Dore
“Yes. I had that cut, and it was really bad. Really bad.”
“Yeah, it was.”
“I fainted, didn’t I?” he spoke, a hint of embarrassment there.
“Yeah,” I said softly, sighing. “You did much more than that, though. Jesus, I was so worried!” I took a deep breath, recalling my thoughts. “I can’t imagine what it was like for you yesterday after seeing you like this—”
“I was so broken,” he said, not even pausing to think about it. He stayed relaxed, unmoving, and uncaring against me. “You destroyed me when you wrapped my arm around that cord and raft. You went against me, betrayed me in a way, and made me realize I was blind.” He paused, taking a deep breath and speaking louder. “You never considered how I might feel if you died. Never thought it through.” He shook his head, making me feel worse about what I did. His next words surprised me. “And I love you because you were able to go against me like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“You threw yourself in front of me, willing to die for me. So brave and strong. You have no idea how much I wanted to hate you for the guilt you caused me in those hours after. Realizing you strapped that damned thing to me…. When I started to go up and reached the surface…” He shook his head, and I heard his voice broke. “I tried so hard to come back down. I let the raft go and just tried swimming back to you, but you made sure I couldn’t.”
It was strange. After he had confessed to me, it was nice. He told me why he never said anything before and how he wasn’t giving me up. Very sweet. We, however, never really talked about yesterday’s actual events, which was the main reason why he confessed that he loved me.
I felt awful, but I couldn’t lie. “Of course, I would die for you. It was the easiest thing to do,” I said, repeating what I said just before I forced him up with that raft. “I needed to. Plus, I was the one that caused it. I was the stupid one! I can never be sorry enough for that.”
I felt him try to lift himself off me, but I grabbed him, worried about his movement causing him more pain. He didn’t care, though. A moment later, he did however end up stomach first in the grass, releasing a loud groan.
He recovered a moment later, lifting his head with his body, slowly crawling up to my side, careful of his cut. He sat and leaned against the tree with me, his head tilted down to look at me. His eyes were sweet while mine were wide. How was he not hurting more from that?
“What you did was foolish, no matter the reason. For how smart you are, I don’t understand how you could have been so stupid. It doesn’t matter, though. We are both okay. It’s because you saved me.” He looked down and smiled, emotion filling his eyes. “Nobody has ever done anything like that for me.”
“I had to. You were trying to drag me out because you knew you weren’t going to make it,” I said with a cracked voice. The thought made me bite my lip and take a deep breath.
“It was the hardest thing I was about to do,” he stated. “Dying for you that was going to be a privilege. It was entirely simple, that decision to save you. What was hard was knowing, or thinking, that I would never see you again.” His hand cupped my cheek. “I already knew, I didn’t have a chance to be with you, but I still wanted to be here with you despite in what way.”
I searched his eyes. All I could see was how much he meant those words. Being very careful, I stretched up, connecting my lips with his. His hand on my cheek slid back, cupping the back of my neck as he kissed me back.
Taking in him in, I had to force myself from going deeper with him. This was going to be very hard for us, the reason being that I could feel our need for each other grow. I wanted to finally express it, but I couldn’t touch him in the same way he could. I needed to remember that he was hurt badly, no matter how brave he was acting now.
Breaking our lips, I looked up into his face surrounded by his messy hair. I said the words that I have wanted to tell him. “I love you, Casey Rush. You can’t blame me for wanting you alive.”
He said nothing, searching my face. His hand tightening in my hair, he moved my face back up to meet his moist lips. Kissing him slowly and deeply, I felt a smile tug at my lips. He smiled too.
I knew we would make this all work. We could fix each other and love to an extent of true power. I could feel that power growing between us.
Chapter 31
Turns out; that kiss wasn’t worth it. He had moved and came to sit beside me to kiss me. Somehow, he kept the pain in because now, after our lips broke, he hunched back to the ground, biting his lip.
I looked down at him, my jaw going slack and eyes widening. His eyes were closed, absorbing the pain as quietly as he could. He was stiff, which only made it worse. I wasn’t sure how he was able to move before without yelling in pain, but now he sure felt it. The vines were secure all the way around him still, holding the dress securely to him at least. I moved my hands to gingerly brush over his face, trying to somehow soothe him.
“Deep breaths,” I said as calmly as I could. “You need to relax.” I stroked his hair back, needing for him to unwind from this tensed state. Lying down with him on the ground, I continued that gentle movement. I watched with sadness as he was taken over by this terrible cut. A few seconds had passed before he was able to relax.
He did as I said, taking deep breaths before releasing them. His hand snaking down to my unoccupied one, his fingers shook slightly as he gripped my hand hard. His beautiful eyes closed and he tried to calm himself. Which was good otherwise I would have to look for another way to make it better. I would always need to find a solution to take care of him.
Eyes closed, breaths even, and his body laying relaxed, it made me feel better to see he was a little better. He was still gripping my hand hard. I knew those eyes would be opening sometime soon. And the last thing I needed was him to see me so worried and distressed. So making sure my face was cleared of all worry, I smiled and let new emotions in. Clearing my throat, I spoke. “It’s okay, just relax. I’m here for you.”
He opened his eyes and saw my mask of calmness and the smile I held for him. He made deep breaths through his mouth, trying his best. “Thank you,” he said, gripping my hand tighter.
“Of course. But it’s not like you’re having a baby. Unless you have been keeping things from me,” I grinned as I spoke in mock surprise, my eyes meeting his. I figured possibly joking a bit could help, but I wasn’t far off. I saw he realized how this compared to a woman’s actions while giving birth and saw him smile slightly between the gasps and moans of pain.
My other hand running slowly through his hair, I heard his breath start to slow to a calmer pace. His eyes never left mine as he willed himself to relax. His hand in mine rose, and he guided it to rest against his prickly cheek. He inhaled and exhaled more evenly now, and his body went slack of tension. It was getting better.
His brown and deep eyes stared through me. Closing his eyes a moment later, his hand holding mine moved again. He guided my touch down until my fingertips rested against his warm lips. Casey dipped his brow slightly, eyes tightening, as his lips parted just slightly. The warmth of his breath against my hand made the hair on my arms stand on end. Sparks running up me, I realized he felt the same sensation. He wasn’t in pain anymore but was enjoying my touch.
My skin making contact with his was making him relax. He kissed my fingers gently, opening his eyes. His breath was slowing, approaching a normal rate again. He took a few minutes before actually saying anything. Finally back to normal, he whispered, exhausted, “Wow. That must be one insane cut.”
“Yeah, it is, but you are going to be fine. Leave that vine tied around you.”
He let my hand go and smiled. “Are you my doctor?”
I smiled in return. “Yes. Until you can take care of yourself, I am. Or even more for that matter.”
He looked mesmerized. “It’s amazing. Just feeling you, hearing or seeing you, your presence is medicine.”
I was about to scoff, thinking he was trying to flatter m
e. But with what just happened, and how connected he was to me, it didn’t sound so crazy. He meant the words - literally - and we proved it to be somewhat true.
“That sounds like a sad attempt to get into my pants,” I chuckled, teasing him. He scoffed when I continued, more seriously. “I see how that is true,” I nodded. “I don’t get it, though. How can I make you physically better by doing nothing?”
He thought about it, not exactly sure himself. I was convinced, though. It happened yesterday on the beach and now. “You’re my strength. There is a direct connection between emotions and my body. When I thought you died, I nearly got sick. It was eating my insides. I feel better when you have a positive effect on me. I blame the nights I sat up and watched you,” he scoffed to himself. “I guess I have just come to want you so much that nothing can take me away from that. You are a reason to fight.”
I had to break away from those eyes. Otherwise, I was done. How can one man feel so much towards a girl like me? I know deep down I am strong; I’ve been through a lot. To know that his love for me can block out and eliminate physical pain in him was a lot to accept.
“You’re pale,” he noted
“What did you expect?” I said, voice breaking. I laughed under my breath. “You say something like that to someone like me… Yes, I’m pale! Why can’t you be like a normal guy? Why are you so sweet?” I said, smiling at him. Then I paused, replaying his words from before. “You watched me while I slept?”
I remembered those times I would be the first to wake, how I saw those red rings around his eyes. There was one time I did feel him watching me as I was laying in his arms.
He blushed. “Yeah. You always caught me when I stared at you during the day, so I figured I would be safe at night,” he said, chuckling under his breath.
I smiled. “Well, look at that! You are a little creeper, aren’t you?” I teased him before continuing. “Seriously, though, I can’t believe a man like you is real.”
He smiled sweetly. “You’re easy to like.”
I couldn’t believe him. Too perfect for me. I watched his face closely. He didn’t seem to be in much pain now, but if he moved just a little, he would hurt. He wouldn’t like what I needed to say, but I was his doctor after all.
How is he going to handle not doing anything for the whole day, or for however long it took from him to get well enough? It could take weeks for all I knew. He couldn’t help me with anything we needed to get done. I was on my own when it came to any work. It wouldn’t be so bad, right? I was more worried about how he was going to react.
“Casey, you need to stay here while I go down to the ocean for a minute,” I said.
He looked confused. “Why?”
“Because my main priority was getting you better last night. That’s why we left the bags on shore with the knife.” I decided that I would go today since I already made sure he was patched up.
“You’re not suggesting that I let you claim all the work.” He read my expression and his turned from confusion to anger. “You’re serious?! What, do you expect me to lay back and watch you work all day? How will you drag all those bags up by yourself? The rest from the plane I am sure washed up.”
“Okay, you can’t call that work compared to dragging all those logs up to make our shelter. These are suitcases and small bags. I can make a couple trips, no big deal. Plus, I wouldn’t have to worry about you getting hurt. One small movement, you’re on the ground. Sorry, but that’s not much help.”
“So you plan on building the shelter without me?”
I hesitated, unsure. “I don’t know. I could handle it, but it’s not like I’m abandoning you.” I smirked, trying to lighten the descending mood. “I am your doctor. Expect check-ups every day.”
He didn’t look happy. “Just get back here fast. You’re my medicine remember? I need you in sight,” he said with a purposefully strict voice. He smiled slightly at that last part, but he still did not like this.
“I need to move you somewhere shady and closer to the water,” I said, seeing the issue with sitting all day in this heat and not being within a few feet of water. Looking around, my eyes stopped on one of the trees on the bank of the creek. The big tree had dipped branches long enough to shade the grassy bed, similar to a willow tree. Plus it was right on the water. “It will just hurt badly for a little bit,” I added, eyeing up the space from where we were to the tree by where the creek started. It was only a few yards, but that was a lot for him.
“Okay,” he breathed. “Let’s get this over with.”
It was obvious he thought differently from me about all of this but knew I wanted this for his comfort. He wasn’t going to try to prove himself as the strong man here if it meant it made me uneasy. And ‘uneasy’ was not a strong enough word either. If he tried anything remotely close to picking a berry, I might chew my lip off with worry.
I sat up on my knees, gaining the strength I would need to help him up with me. “Try to move fast. We don’t want to draw out the pain.” He nodded, looking quite regretful for agreeing now.
Leaning down, I quickly slipped my arm around him, helping him rise. He moved, sitting up with a loud grunt that soon turned into a stifled scream. He worked with me, getting himself to his feet but it was torture for him. Moving as fast as he would let me, I guided him through the open grass and to the tree. He groaned under my grasp as I supported some of his weight.
We collapsed under the tree, and I heard him cry out. I made myself continue to push him the extra foot so he was propped against the massive tree. Looking him over frantically, I saw he was back in that same state that nearly drove us both mad. His body was tense, and his chest heaved, looking ready to vomit.
He needed to calm down, and for him to do that, I needed to do the same thing as before. I took a few deep breaths with him, grabbing his hand in mine again. “You’re okay,” I told him. “Deep breaths.”
I caressed the side of his face, doing all I could to calm him down. After a minute of concentrating on me, he was actually back to normal. I still couldn’t believe my presence was a major contributor.
We sat there for a moment. His feet that were outstretched before him stopped short of where the edge of the bank was and the flowing creek. Not only were we against the large tree, but we were also covered. The small leaves of the tree hung low, making small contact with the water.
“Are you fine here?”
“No. I am not fine here or any other place that would be offered to me as a sitting space. I’m not okay that I can’t help you.”
“If you even tried to help, you would be less fine than the one you are worried about. You like how strong I am? Let me remind you. You’re overreacting,” I said back.
He glanced away from me, running a hand through his hair. He turned back with a sigh. “Look, I get it. But we are not talking about just today with the bags. Today would be fine if it were the only day. This cut will take more than a day to heal, and that means until I can walk properly, I’ll be spending my days under this tree while you take care of the both of us.”
“Put yourself in my place. What would you do?”
He scowled and stayed silent. “I trust you, Janice,” he said. “Go to the ocean, come back. We will go through everything in those bags.” He paused. “I know you think I’m overreacting, but I know you felt weak at times and hated it with a passion. It is the same with me.”
I smiled, “Don’t feel weak. You chose me, remember?”
He ran his fingers over my shoulder before leading his hand up to push away my out of control hair from my sweaty face. “Yes, I did.”
I smiled at him for a moment. “I love you,” I said to him, getting a kick out of just how wonderful it felt to say it. Especially with how deeply I meant it.
“Isn’t that what all normal horny people say to get into someone’s pants?” he asked, making me recall my earlier words with a laugh.
“What makes you think there is anything I want in your pants, Mr. Sensi
tive?” I teased before getting to my feet. “I will be right back.”
Walking past him and out into the sunlight, I followed the creek, stopping once for a drink and to go to the bathroom. I reached the cluttered stretch of sand with debris around ten minutes later. My eyes scanned to my left and like I saw last night, the bags sat there. There were even more now.
I recalled Casey went into the part of the plane where the suitcases were stored while I took care of the carry-on bags. So now in total, as I looked it over, there were three suitcases and four carry-on bags, which did include the ones that I grabbed from the water yesterday morning. I knew we claimed more from the plane than this, but I am sure some drifted elsewhere.
I approached the bags at first sight. Close enough, I could now see the glare of light shining from the blade. Picking it up now, I realized how important this could be for us, how much this would help. That was the knife alone. I was excited to see what these bags were holding.
I glanced at the bags I needed to carry back. Eyes calculating, I found that maybe I could make one trip if I tried hard enough. I thought it over, studying the bags and how I could maybe carry each. It would be heavy and maybe required a few breaks, but I could do it, right?
Tucking the knife into one of the side pockets of a bag, I picked up one suitcase. Tried anyway. Yeah, definitely more than one trip. I forgot most bags could be around 40 pounds. Well, it’s better than hauling logs and branches!
It took three trips total before I sat down next to Casey and stayed there with the bags around us. I just dropped the last carry-on bag and suitcase when I saw his eyebrows shoot up. He looked exhausted since he first woke up. For some reason now, his eyes seemed more awake than before.
“What?” I asked as I sat alongside him. He didn’t seem to be in pain, but that was also because he made no attempt to move, excluding a few careful adjustments due to comfort.
He looked at the bags, his eyes falling on a slightly familiar small and black leather bag. He appeared stunned as I observed him. He turned to me and gave me a weird grin. “That’s my camera bag. Well, Jill’s camera bag since I accidentally took hers,” he chuckled and shook his head. “It’s a little strange. Out of all the bags, you happened to grab mine and toss it out of the plane.”