by Marien Dore
That was another point. He was breathing slowly, meaning he was still asleep. It wasn’t light out either because usually, through my eyelids, I would see red. That wasn’t the case at the moment. It was still dark out, the air cool as well.
So what the hell was touching me? What was moving along my knee and neck if it wasn’t Casey?
My heart sped up drastically, but I stayed as still as I could, my eyes shut tight. It was instinct for me to just freeze up, which I did. I tried my best to calm down, but I couldn’t. If it were an animal, I am sure would not want to startle it. I didn’t want to turn my head because it was right there. Right there! Pressing against my neck, no longer moving, as if it was lying against me.
How much time passed since I woke up? What if I waited too long? What if it decided to eat me now? I didn’t know!
I slowly, as slowly as I could, turned my head, my eyes straining against my field of vision to see what it was. Thankfully, I didn’t need to turn my head much to see a part of it. Unfortunately, what I saw nearly drained my heart and mind of all activity.
Oh shit, oh my god, I’m dead, I’m dead! It’s so huge! Holy fucking shit! I was shocked that my thoughts didn’t reflect in my actions. I managed to slowly look back up, quivering a little at the size of it. I honestly don’t know how I was able to stay motionless like that. I knew that soon, I would be trying to get as far as I could from it.
Oh, it moved! I whimpered slightly, feeling it press closer into my neck a little more. Was its mouth right there?!
Though it was pressed into my side and ultimately my arm, I came to my senses that I still had a free hand close to Casey. Recognizing that with my chest rising and falling, I started to bat at him quickly, shaking Casey awake. I refused to move my head or turn any other part of my body. As I continued to slap and shake his hip a little, I felt his breath in my ear move faster and knew he was waking up. He moaned softly. Fearing he would speak too loudly or move, I raised that same hand and pressed it against his lips, still not seeing him.
“Janice,” His voice was muffled and tired.
“Shhh,” I said in a whisper as I continued to stare up at the roof of the shelter and the stars behind it. He shifted against me, pulling his hand back from my hip and I went on, my voice rushed but not loud. “No, no don’t. Don’t move, be very quiet. Shhh…”
When he didn’t move or say anything, his breath warm on my fingers, I slowly removed my hand, trusting he would stay quiet, which he did. He spoke in barely a whisper, “You are shaking. What is it?”
“Casey, you can’t freak out. It’s worse than it sounds.”
“Then why did you tell me that if you didn’t want me to freak out?” he whispered back against my ear. “Why aren’t you looking at me?”
“Listen, I can’t move. If I do, I don’t know what it will do. I didn’t see much of it, but I’m afraid of how dangerous it could be. It’s huge.”
“What are you talking about?”
“There is a big ass snake laying against me!” I hissed under my breath. “It’s against my side and my neck.”
“Hey, hold it together,” he said, trying to keep me calm. “I am on your other side, so I’ll look. Don’t move. You’ll be fine.”
I felt him tilt up and peer over my body to get a good look at the snake. Now that he was in my line of sight, I felt a little better to actually see him. I wish I didn’t, though. I saw his eyes grow at what he saw before he moved back down next to me.
He said nothing at first, and I could feel his body beside me tense. “‘Hold it together’ my ass,” I whispered. I knew I had a good reason to be freaking out now. It was a big snake; his silence told me. After another second of only hearing the crickets’ chirping, I became nervous. “Tell me what it looks like. I know the size doesn’t determine whether it’s poisonous or not but my neck is right—”
“It’s not that large. It’s just long.” There was a note in his voice that made my skin go cold against the snake’s smooth and scaly body.
“What else?” I whispered.
“I don’t know if it’s poisonous. And… Its head is on your neck.”
That wasn’t something that gradually sunk into my brain. It hit me that this could be very dangerous. I was never afraid of snakes before but to not know if it’s poisonous or not wasn’t great. Plus, the fact that its head – it’s freaking mouth – was on my neck was more than a little scary.
Worse was that we weren’t sure what to do. I don’t remember how, but my free hand wound up in Casey’s as we thought with haste. Well, maybe it was more of Casey thinking since all that was running through my head was ‘It’s against my neck, it’s against my neck, it’s against my neck. It’s going to fucking bite me, bite me and kill me!’
“Okay, keep still. I have an idea,” he said as he slowly began to move back and away from me, his hand leaving mine.
“What is your idea?!” I hissed harshly but was still careful with how loud I spoke. When he didn’t answer, I internally groaned. Now wasn’t the best time for another one of his surprises. I could hear him slowly shuffling and crawling away from me and deeper in the shelter. Staring up at the sky as it began to lighten, I assumed that Casey slipped out of the shelter. He was surely going to do something. I didn’t like the fact that he didn’t want to tell me what it was he was going to do. Meaning, it was probably an idea he knew I wouldn’t like. That was reassuring.
My breath was slowly, gradually, returning to normal. I guessed that the snake was asleep against me. I waited, staring up at the sky and watching as the sparks decorating the sky begin to fade along with the moonlight. A gloomy look in the air began to set across the tops of the trees as dawn approached.
It must have been only a couple minutes before I heard a shuffle near where we usually have our fires. I began to turn my head but stopped myself right away, knowing I couldn’t look at what he was doing. His voice, however, rang through to me quietly from where I know he stood by the pile of ashes.
“The snake is pressed against your side. The side that is facing outside and me. I’m going to drag the snake out towards me and away from you in the open, okay? When I do that, you roll in the opposite direction and into the shelter more, out of the way.”
“Okay?! That is not okay,” I said but this time, it wasn’t in much of a whisper. At realizing I moved and was a little too loud, I didn’t say another word and froze. It was too late, though. I felt the snake move. Only this time, it moved up into the crook of my neck and nearly below my chin. Shivers climbed up through me and at that, I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and whimpered as little as I could.
It didn’t get any farther than that, though. I heard Casey yell something as I felt him drag it off of me. I was too stunned to act on his directions. My eyes wide open now, feeling it off of me and away from me, I turned my head. I noticed that Casey wasn’t able to pull it that far away from me.
With the spear in one hand, his other grabbed the snake’s tail and swiftly pulled it off me, away from my body. He jumped back when he grabbed the snake just as it turned and snapped at him! Thankfully, it just missing Casey’s quick legs. The next moment, he dropped the snake a couple feet away and by the fire. All I could do was stare as the snake began to slither back towards me swiftly. It managed to get a few feet away from me by the time he plunged the spear with its many spikes into it.
Everything was silent after, the only sound being the innocent birds. I stared at the bloody remains, and I recalled my mother’s body like that, lying there dead, bloody, and absent.
I blinked a few times. I couldn’t bring myself to care for the snake Casey killed. Despite the snake not doing anything, it made that memory return. It was just… a little shock for a moment. Casey did the right thing and, surprisingly, I felt okay. Of course, that could be the astonishment running through me. I didn’t know for sure yet.
I felt something pull me up to a sitting position. Casey’s sorry eyes found mine as he knelt before me. Looking
me over, I saw anger while also relief in his gaze. He sighed, pulling me forward and hugging me to him and I welcomed him into my arms.
With my arms around him, my eyes caught red dots in my arms. I pulled away and saw Casey’s shirt he had on was now stained red thanks to my clothes being bloody. I looked down at myself and saw spattered blood on my arms and chest, my shirt soaking some of it up. My pants and legs weren’t as bad as my upper body, but I was still covered regardless. I looked down at my hands and found they were mostly clean other than a few slanted drops. I slowly raised my hands up to my face, touching my cheeks lightly before I lowered my hands. Looking down at them as Casey silently watched, I saw that my hands were redder. My face was wet with the snake’s blood too.
I looked up at Casey and saw this really hurt him, to see me go through this. He figured it would bring up something of my past, I’m sure. He was right because it did, but it was as he said before and what I realized to be the truth. Those dreams happened because I couldn’t deal with my past and get over certain situations. Now that Casey is mine, those dreams slowly went away. They weren’t coming back either like he probably feared this would bring.
I chuckled with a shaky breath and met his eyes, “Good morning to you too.” I shook my head and brushed my hair back, damp with blood. He didn’t laugh and didn’t smile. His eyebrows were creased and worried, making me sigh. “Okay, look. Yes, it scared the living shit out of me. It was similar to my feelings after seeing and trying to get away from those sharks. It was nothing close to when my mother died, even if it reminded me of it.”
He nodded, “I know that. You just… you seem shaken by something else.”
Besides my thoughts on how this affected me, I was worried about someone else. “Yeah. You.” I took a deep breath before I continued. “Why did you do that? That was stupid. We could have found some other way to do it besides grabbing it! You decided to be dumb, and it nearly bit you!” I said, close to shouting. Didn’t he understand how that was a huge reason why I was scared? Out of the several moments of terror, that second was the worse. Seeing that snake turn and lash back at Casey… What if it actually got him? It was so close.
“I’m sorry you didn’t like the idea, okay? When you wake me at dawn, telling me there is a snake on you, what do you expect? I didn’t want to think things out. I couldn’t. I had to get it away from you! Then, you woke it up and made it a little harder! When it started to slither up your neck, I wasn’t going to think about it. I was going to act!” He scoffed, shaking his head. “You didn’t even move when I told you to! I told you to move for a reason.” He pointed at my body and the blood over me. “This is that reason. Plus, I didn’t really want to stab you in the face! That was close.”
I stared at him and though he wasn’t exactly shouting, the words dug deep. I saw in his eyes that he regretted it, but it didn’t matter. His words were true. It made sense, and I was the stupid one. That was a lot of mistakes for me to make in a short amount of time like that. I couldn’t accept that right now, though.
“Well, next time I won’t wake you at dawn then.” I stood up and looked around at the bloody grass, ashes, and our shelter. I looked down at myself, covered in the red as everything else was. Casey didn’t get much besides a few drops; nothing like me since it’s splattered in slanted dots all over me. The snake, what remained, was drenched in its own blood.
I looked back to Casey. He looked up at me, mouth open before shutting it, trying to think of what to say. Finally, with a tired and sorry sigh, he spoke. “Janice,” He stopped, unsure of how to say it. “Look, I didn’t—”
I cut him off, mainly because I knew I would give in some time to those pretty eyes and his reasoning. I didn’t want to yet. “I am going to take a bath in the lake. You…” I shook my head. “I don’t really care what you do. Feel free to clean this up, though. If not, I’ll do it later.”
I ducked under the shelter once more, the terrible scent invading my nose. My eyes found the suitcases in the back, and I spotted the bag with all the toiletries. I was a little excited to get clean. I grabbed the bag and pulled it out. Looking up at the sky, I was surprised to see the sun already up and warming the air. It wasn’t in view yet, but it was behind the low clouds, adding to the gloomy setting. The sky was scattered with storm clouds, and I could faintly hear it thundering up in the heavens.
I didn’t glance down to Casey when I walked by him, heading towards the lake. My feet in the grass felt cool with it being early morning even though I could feel the day heating. When I reached the bank, I sat down on the side, my feet in the water giving me goosebumps as I went through the bag. Pulling out the shampoo, I also pulled out the bar of soap and razor, needing to take clear advantage of that.
I slipped my pants and shirt off, leaving myself in my bra and underwear as I remained sitting on the bank. Though I discarded the bloody clothes, I had to pause for a moment. Though red liquid was spotted over me, I felt the blood in a place I didn’t expect. It made me groan when I checked and yep, sure enough. Thank you, period for your wonderful monthly gift! I would have to find some moss after I finish washing.
I was going to shave before going in and actually washing myself. I would enjoy this too. The entire time being here, I didn’t like being conscious of how long some hair was growing on my body.
So, getting the bar of soap wet, I rubbed my hands over it before I ran my fingers up and down my legs. After that, I slid the razor up my legs, shaving off the hair growing there.
By the time I was done with one leg, it began raining. I groaned a little, but I suppose it didn’t matter. It was warm outside already and that meant so was the rain that fell on me. Leaving my bloody clothes out in the rain as it picked up, I continued shaving and soon moved onto my armpits.
Putting the soap away and the razor when I was done, I felt my skin warming to the rain, welcoming it more. Sitting on the bank and looking down at myself, I saw that the rain was slowly causing the blood in my hair to roll down my body and shoulders. But it wasn’t a bath or anything close to what one would feel like. Standing up in the shallow water, I slipped my bra off and underwear, washing them too. Setting them next to the bag on the bank, I took the shampoo and squirted some into my hand before setting that down in the grass too. I turned, walking out deeper in the lake as I raised my hands, scrubbing my hair as I walked.
I stopped when the water reached just above my breasts. Scrubbing my hair felt wonderful after not doing it for so long. My mind began to wander back to Casey. I glanced through the heavy rain back to our shelter. I could barely see it through the haze of heavy rain. I figured Casey was cleaning it up. It made me internally groan and roll my eyes at myself.
Now, I regretted what I said. He was completely right, and I knew it. Yet, I didn’t want to face it. I was the one that made it harder by waking the snake. I was the one who didn’t move when I was told. I was the one who started whining over how he handled the issue. What mattered was he did handle it and for me. He helped me and of course he didn’t think things through. That’s how we were alike in a way. When things are happening, we instinctively act and don’t take the time to think. Plus, now he was probably cleaning the whole thing up. I don’t know how much that man loves me.
I knew I made a mistake and needed to apologize somehow. I decided I would after I get back. For now, I thrived in the water around me. Falling on me, swarming around me, under me… it felt so good. After my hair was soapy and was done washing it, I rinsed it out and slid under the water, scrubbing my hair hard under the water and trying to get all the blood and soap out. While under, I ran my hands over my whole body, removing all signs of blood, sweat, and dirt.
Coming up with a large breath, I began to swim out a little deeper, moving towards the waterfall a little more, enjoying the freedom my feet had and how the water felt around my body. I leaned back once more, letting the reflection of the sky consume my hair as I ran my hand through it. The soap gradually floated out to where the
creek was emptying to the ocean.
I sucked in my breath once more, dropping under the water again. When I came up, taking a refreshing deep breath, looking up at the gloomy and raining sky, I began to kick back. Swimming back while pushing with my arms, my face was pelted with more rain. It ran down my cheeks, tickling my skin.
Then, I hit something. I stopped and looked down from the sky, turning around to find the source. Through the rain, I was eye level with Casey. He stared at me, his eyes locked on mine. I couldn’t read those brown globes, unsure of how he was feeling. We both floated there in the rain. After a moment, I remembered what I wanted to say.
“Casey, I —”
He cut me off as his arm moved forward, grabbing me and pulling me in. I hit his naked chest with mine as his lips found mine, kissing me hard. Unexpected, I let him kiss me for a moment, a little confused. Mainly because he was really upset at me a while ago. Also because against him, I felt him without any clothes as well.
Then, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me with his hand wrapped around my back. That hand then inched up my back through the water, sliding his fingers wide in my hair and gripping me to him tightly. His other hand went down to my thigh and pulled my leg around his torso. I wrapped my other leg around him, pressing even closer to him and feeling all of him.
He stopped a moment later, moving both hands to cup my cheeks. Casey looked deeply into my eyes, reaching all the way down to my core. My heart skipped a beat, as it usually does with him. He pressed his lips to mine softer this time.
I knew that I needed to tell him, though. The guilt was there for me, and I knew that he was going to apologize, which he shouldn’t. So when our lips broke again, I spoke before he could.
“I’m sorry.” I looked hard into his eyes as we floated in the water together, which was just below our necks.