by Marien Dore
I bit my lip, shaking my head slightly. “Well, I shouldn’t be surprised we couldn’t stop. You drive me wild as it is. Last night, with how relaxed I felt, it made it even better.”
He smiled and leaned up the rest of the way, kissing my lips softly before pulling back and smiling sweetly at me. I wish we could continue lying here but with the way the sun was shining… I feared it was already late in the day.
“We need to get up,” I whispered gently. “I mean out of bed. We can’t just laze around.”
“No we don’t,” he said, pressing his lips up against mine again, kissing me deeply, sharing with me a deep moan that interrupted the steady flow of music from the birds and flowing water. My hands on his chest, I slid them up until I was cupping both of his prickly cheeks.
“Yeah, we do.”
He shook his head. “No.” He cupped my cheeks as well, now pulling me down to hit his lips. Kissing him, his warm touch surrounding all of me, I moaned lightly before we broke away. “Give me one good reason,” he said.
I wanted more than anything to just lie around all day with him. We are guilty of doing it before, so I know how wonderful it is. He wasn’t helping as he was just tempting me to stay here in bed all day. But there were reasons we couldn’t lay in our new bed all day.
“Well, first of all, it is most likely already around two or three in the afternoon. If we want to catch anything, we better go now. We don’t know how long that will take.”
Though we now know how to fish, we were still new at it. Plus, it all depended on chance. We didn’t know if there would be fish around or if it wouldn’t take long for us to catch a fish, so to be safe, we needed to go now. Though we had our berries, we needed to make the berries last. And honestly, my stomach was just driving me so crazy, I couldn’t lay in bed until I eat something more than berries.
After I had explained this to Casey, he sighed and nodded. Staring at me, he rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks in circles as I was lying on him. “We can get up. Now that you say that, I don’t know if I could hold out without food either today. I just... I don’t want to let you go,” he smiled.
I slid my hands around his neck, resting my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes and breathing deeply. It allowed for me to take in his lovely scent and warm skin as my fingers lightly played with the ends of his hair on his neck. “I don’t want you to ever let me go,” I said, my cheek pressed just below his shoulder.
He chuckled. “You like giving me mixed signals.” He tilted his head slightly, pressing a soft and caring kiss to my forehead before he moved me off him, sitting up reluctantly. I smiled sadly, knowing neither one of us wanted to move - but the food was what drove us to action. Sliding one hand up and through his hair, he brushed it back with the small cover of sweat that laid over us from how hot the day was.
He slid off the bed, and I sluggishly followed after him. Moving into the open and from under the shelter, the sun hit us, lighting up our bare skin. Looking for my clothes, I found them laying in the grass. I grabbed my bra and underwear with more moss, putting that on first. Then, I glanced over to him and saw he was watching me with a smirk.
“What are you looking at?” I asked, teasing him as he met my eyes.
“What do you think I’m staring at?”
“I have a few good guesses I think.”
He chuckled, leaning down to grab his shirt that was lying in the grass. His strong arms raising it above his head, my eyes wandered down his body too. By the time he had it on, he had caught me too.
“Care to tell me what you are looking at?”
“I don’t know,” I muttered.
He chuckled as he started putting on the rest of his clothes. I turned back, my eyes finding the rest of my clothes. Bending down, I grabbed a shirt and slid that on. As I was putting my pants on, I glanced at him and noticed he was now in his shirt and boxers, his pants still on the ground. He bent down to grab his pants as he went on.
“Well I— AHHH!” He cut his words off with a yelp. The sound erasing any sign of a smile or laugh on my face, I felt my heart jump at the sight.
Casey had bent down to pick up his pants, but when he began to lift them up to put them on, he had instantly dropped them with that surprised yelp, jumping back. He backed away a few feet from where his pants were laying in the grass, his eyes nailed to it.
“What? What is it?!” I asked, eyeing the ground around his pants. My eyes finally caught a rat as it scurried out from under his pants where it had been hiding. He obviously, had not seen it when he reached down to grab his pants. He also wasn’t the kind of man to freak out like that over just the sight of a rat. Meaning…
“Fucking rat!” he hissed. “It bit me,” he said in a daze, holding his wrist by his other hand, examining the bite on his arm.
I went to his side, taking his wrist in my hand and lifting his arm up closer to my face to get a good look at the bite. By now, the rat was out of sight, but it left its mark on Casey. And that mark went deeper than either of us wanted to believe at the time. Looking his arm over, I honestly don’t know what I was looking at. Whether it be a bite that was harmless or not, I wasn’t sure.
“How do you feel? Does it hurt badly?”
The small red dots on his arm didn’t look too bad from where the rat bit him. I didn’t want to let that fool me. I brushed a thumb over where the rat’s teeth sunk into his skin, feeling the tiny holes it left. God, he had to be okay.
“No. It just... tingles.”
“What if it gets infected? There is a good chance you will get sick—”
“I feel fine. And it’s just a small bite. I’m alright.” He smiled at me after he cut me off, not willing to hear those terrible words. He curled my crazy hair back and around an ear. He looked… unsure but showed me a mask that said something very important. Said we both needed to believe he was okay.
Dropping his arm with a sigh, I tried forcing away that awful feeling in my gut so I could communicate. “Well, what a way to start a late day,” I said uneasily.
He chuckled slightly and looked okay. He seemed okay anyway. He was okay, I finally decided after a few more minutes of replaying the events that occurred back in my head again. At least, that’s what I had to force inside my head. That he was indeed okay. I knew having bitten by a rat had its risks. But Casey was fine. He really was. He had to be. Of course, better safe than sorry.
“Let me give you something for it,” I said, instantly heading towards the luggage. I dug out the first-aid kit and tried my hardest to tell myself that this was just a precaution. He didn’t need anything, but it’s good just in case.
He didn’t argue when I pulled out the most promising thing I could. I found some ointment and some medicines that could possibly help. It may not be befitting for something like this, but it was the best I could do, and at least hopefully, it could help avoid possible infection. More than anything, it at least made me feel better, and I’m sure Casey.
After I finished up and put the things away, I watched him carefully. He looked… disturbed. He looked tense, unsure, and worried. His eyes told me he was scared, but I didn’t want to even think about why he had a reason to be frightened. A moment later, though, he shoved all those feelings aside. He tried to convince himself along with me that this was nothing. This was harmless. It had to be! What else could we do since we already tried what we could from the kit? Jesus, I just hope he doesn’t get sick or infected.
“I’m okay,” he repeated, trying to convince himself and trying to reassure me everything was going to be fine. We both knew from the second it happened, even though we repeatedly told ourselves that he was fine, deep down we knew he might not be. We sure had a hard time denying it later on when we headed down to the ocean.
We went out fishing. I handled our fishing pole he made while he stood many yards away with the spear. The sky started to cool by now as hours must have passed. Unfortunately, we didn’t catch anything yet like I feared. It was nearing dark, th
e sky filling with pink and bright orange spirals.
In those hours I sat on the beach, I watched Casey with worried eyes. He was standing far away as he scanned the water for fish, seemingly fine. But I became more worried as I let go of some of the denials I had earlier. I began to see a few signs, and it scared me.
Questions were beginning to race in my mind, the first being: was he going to be okay? Then came the more detailed questions I didn’t want to think about but couldn’t help. Like why did he look weak as he stood there, looking for fish? What does that mean? What could a rat’s bite really do? Was he infected? Was he going to get sick?
Earlier, I told myself, over and over, that he was going to be okay. Now, I had to face it. I couldn’t help but think of the possibilities... possibilities that I knew were becoming reality literally before my eyes.
A few of my answers came too quickly. I saw Casey begin to sway violently on his feet in the shallow water. From where I was sitting, I saw him fall back, the spear dropping from his weakened grip and into the shallow water with him. His back hitting the water with a big splash, I felt my heart fall with him.
“Casey!” I screamed, jumping to my feet without another thought.
I couldn’t believe this was happening to us. Couldn’t believe that this day started so perfectly... us waking happily. Not a few minutes after that did he get bitten. And now I didn’t have a clue what was happening. Part of me wanted to remain in the dark, not willing to accept anything other than that he had to be okay. Now, watching him pass out like that, it didn’t help my sanity at all. It was all too fast, the events of today.
I ran as fast as I could down the beach, down to where I saw his body floating helplessly in the shallow water. “CASEY!” I shouted as I could feel my heart suffocating. His body laid in the water, floating like a corpse with no life. Oh god, this wasn’t happening! The hot sand under my feet turned wet as I ran out to where he was. No, no, no, no, no, no! Oh god, he had to be okay. As I neared him, I saw he was unconscious. The water was so shallow though that the sandy bottom held him up and above the water. Thank, God.
Collapsing on my knees beside his outstretched and useless body, I gasped at his color. His skin was pale, looking very weak. I grabbed his shoulders, dragging his body closer to me as I tried to level him, keeping his head up. Wrapping an arm around him as the waves were gently pushing us, I held him to me, his side pressed against my chest as I supported him with the help of the water.
“Casey,” I groaned. “Wake up.” I brushed his now wet hair back and away from his face, my fingers freezing on his skin. Another bad sign hit me. His skin... was warm. Warmer than it should be. He was sweating heavily I noticed, and I brushed my wet hand up and over his face, clearing what I could of the sweat and cooling him down a little. I was growing hysterical at the same time.
This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t our reality! Oh fuck, what if the water wasn’t this shallow when he passed out? What if it wasn’t and his body completely turned over, and his face had buried in the water? He could have drowned, right then if the water was a little deeper! I was shaking. I felt tears sting my vision as I looked down at him in my arms, floating there unconscious. My lord, he was getting sick.
I sniffed, trying to keep my tears down. “Get up. You said you would be okay.” My voice broke. “Get up!” I grabbed his arms, dragging him up shore with the help of the water carrying some of his weight. When his weight was coming back to me, and I was dragging him through the sand now, I stopped and let him lay on the shore, his skin an awful color with the dark sand under him, making him look worse.
I knelt beside him in the sand, shaking him. “Casey please!” I was going to lose it – and soon if he didn’t wake up. But a few seconds after I spoke, I saw his eyelids move, his lips part in a breath as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked up to me and in that gaze, I saw realization. The realization that we couldn’t deny this. That we needed to accept the fact that this was a problem we had to face.
“Janice?”
I gasped as I felt my arms go around him, resting my head against his chest as I hugged him, a few more tears releasing at the relief of him waking. I felt his arm lightly rub my back in comfort.
“I’m okay. Please don’t worry.”
I shook my head, looking up to him. “No. You are not okay.”
I took note that he didn’t deny it. He just pursed his lips and hugged me to him again, which scared me more. We sat there for a few minutes in silence, needing each other’s presence and arms around each other.
“Come on,” I said, sitting up and looking down at him. “Let’s go back. You don’t look good and should lie down.”
He took a deep breath and nodded. I helped him to his feet and after grabbing the spear that floated back up the shore, I wrapped an arm around him. We began walking back to our shelter as twilight arrived, along with all the comforting sounds night brought. Yet, that in no way helped us in the situation we were now in. A situation we had no control over.
A situation that was much more serious than we thought it was at the moment.
Chapter 60
By the time we got back to the shelter, night had moved in. I had Casey lie down on our bed as I made a fire. The fire beginning and spreading as the smoke and sparks rose into the sky, I moved into bed with Casey. I lay down beside him, me on my side and him on his back. I watched with overwhelming worry.
I grasped his hand, his sweaty clasp in my cold hand making me feel worse. His hand should be cold like mine, not hot. With a sigh, I looked up to his face, the slow sweat forming again on his forehead and catching in his eyebrows. His lips were parted as he took in deep breaths. The fire I made not only made him sweat more, but it lit up his pale skin.
“We should eat some of the berries,” I said.
He swallowed before he spoke, not even looking as if speaking would be easy. “Sure,” he said.
I pulled the carry-on full of berries up onto the bed. Pulling it up beside us and in easy reach, I glanced up at him and saw he didn’t even look like he had enough energy to raise his hand and take a handful of berries. He did though and picked up a couple of berries, sitting up slightly to eat. Eating them one at a time, I watched him carefully, the sweat continuing to stream down his face and body. He ate a few handfuls before he had enough and laid back down. Only he moved to lie on his side, facing me.
I sighed and met my eyes with his tired ones, resting my cheek against the clothes. His gaze looked worried. I don’t think it was for himself.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like you’re begging me. You are looking at me as if you lost hope and are just praying for a miracle.” He gave me a soft smile. “I’m getting sick. It was inevitable, and I will be okay.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that at first. It was kind of true, but when he said it, it sounded pretty bad. With a sigh, I finally responded, “Is it my fault I worry?”
He pursed his lips. “No. I just wish you didn’t. I am going to be fine. It’s just been a bad day is all. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”
I doubted that, but he could be right. He might feel great tomorrow. But I, and probably even him, didn’t think that was a good chance. A rat bite probably doesn’t cause an occasional cold, 24-hour flu, or fever because those things would go away fairly soon. Though it does appear he has a fever, if it became worse or other problems arise... then it’s not a just some fever.
“If you’re trying to make me not worry, if you are trying to be just strong for me, please don’t. I don’t want you hiding your fear when I can maybe help you with it. Sure, I am shaken by all this, but I can handle it if you are scared too.”
He sighed and shook his head. “Janice, I’m okay. Trust me.” His words were weak. I knew that he couldn’t believe everything was going to be alright. “I’m just a little sick, it will be gone soon, and I’ll be back to normal.”
He had noth
ing to argue. He basically just repeated the same thing. I realized then that there were two reasons that he would refuse to admit that he was sicker. One being maybe he was really trying to make me not worry. Even if he say everything was fine, he knows it doesn’t reassure me. He knew I wouldn’t buy that anyway. Therefore, I don’t think he would keep that to himself to protect me in this situation.
No, it was mainly because he refused to accept the fact that he might be sick himself. He didn’t want to believe it and therefore was just denying it. After all, it’s been less than a day since it happened. To know that you were living healthy one minute and dying the next wasn’t something easy to accept…
My eyes widened, and I cut the rest of my thoughts off after that word entered my mind. Living healthy one minute and dying the next. Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept that either. Dying…. No, he was not dying. He was just sick, that was all! We don’t know yet if it will get worse, and if it does, that does not mean he will die! Stop being so dramatic. Though I don’t deny he was sick, we both were denying the possibility of death. I needed to stop overreacting. Casey will be fine. As I did when we got back from the beach, I could keep giving him medicine and rub that ointment over the bite. That was all we had but it had to be enough.
Sighing, running a hand back through my hair, I understood where he was coming from. We were both denying the severity of the situation – or how severe it could get; that’s what I mean.
Looking at him and his sweaty body, I moved slightly away from him, knowing my body heat wouldn’t help him any. My hand refusing to let his go, though, I squeezed it to try to give him some form of comfort. With my other hand, I pulled up a few articles of clothing over me as the fire also was helping.
“You don’t need to do that,” he said. “Though I am sweaty and hot, I still want you beside me. Of course, if you think I’m too sick, then you can stay out of my space if you want. But, since I’m not, I wouldn’t mind having my arms around you.”
“I don’t need you to heat up anymore with my body heat,” I said.