by Lucy Clark
Susie switched off the hair-dryer and stared at her reflection, eyeing her features critically. He’d said she was beautiful and breathtaking. She wouldn’t call herself beautiful. In her opinion, her eyes were crooked, her nose was too straight, her hair too curly and her mouth was…No, she conceded, her eyebrows creasing into a frown. She liked her mouth. She’d liked the way Jackson had caressed her lips with his thumb. Had liked it far too much. She recalled how she’d trembled deep inside, desperate for his lips to caress her in exactly the same way.
‘No.’ She spoke the word out loud. How he made her feel was…irrelevant. ‘Remember that,’ she warned herself as she clipped her hair back at the nape of her neck. Not for the first time Susie growled at her hair. Straight hair—she’d give anything for it!
Breakfast was next but she found she couldn’t stomach much. She never could eat properly when she was distracted. Telling herself the cause of her uneasiness wasn’t because she was going to see Jackson but because he and his team would be joining her ward round that morning, she quickly drank some orange juice and forced herself to eat a piece of toast before heading to the hospital.
When she arrived, she made sure her cool, calm and collected professional façade was in place as she walked to her office. ‘Good morning, Todd,’ she said as she breezed through the door.
‘Well, hello. Aren’t you looking like the consummate professional today?’ her secretary teased. She’d dressed in one of her ‘power’ suits—navy trousers and jacket, white shirt and a silk vest.
‘Thank you, thank you,’ she replied as she quickly flicked through her in-tray. She had five minutes before she needed to head to the ward so she dealt with some paperwork before returning it to Todd.
‘Gee, thanks,’ he muttered, and she smiled sweetly at him. ‘Off to ward round?’
‘Yes.’
‘Nervous?’
‘Who, me?’ she joked, and reached for her stethoscope. ‘There’s nothing else I have to do this morning? No more speeches? Introductions?’
‘No. As far as Jackson’s schedule is concerned, he’s accompanying you on the ward round and then he’s back off to the lecture theatre. You’re in clinic this afternoon whilst he’s lecturing to the fourth- and sixth-year medical students. Dinner this evening is sponsored by the Orthopaedic Bone Register and Research Foundation at the hotel Jackson is staying at.’
‘Great. Thanks. Page me if you need me,’ she told him as she headed out of the department. The closer she got to the ward, the tighter her stomach twisted into knots. She was going to see Jackson. Would she feel the same immediate connection again? Perhaps it had been a onetime thing?
When Susie entered the ward, she felt as though she was going to be physically sick, her stomach was churning so much. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the discussion room, where everyone congregated for the ward round meetings, only to find Jackson and his team weren’t in there.
Several medical students, interns, physiotherapists and nurses turned to look at her. Some murmured greetings and Susie politely returned them. There were more people than usual and she frowned, knowing it was because of Jackson. Everyone wanted to learn, watch and absorb everything he did during his time here. It would make for a slower ward round, but it couldn’t be helped. After all, this was a teaching hospital.
‘There you are, Susie,’ the CNC said as she came bustling in. ‘I’ve just received a call from Todd who wanted you to know Professor Myers and his team are stuck in traffic.’
Susie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘Thank you.’ What should she do now? Should she wait to see if they arrived within the next ten minutes or should she start without them? As a general rule, ward round started on time, regardless of who was or wasn’t there.
Susie followed the Clinical Nurse Consultant back to her desk and reached for the phone. ‘Todd?’ she said a moment later. ‘More information, please.’
‘There’s a car crash on Gilchrist Avenue that’s blocking traffic. Are you going to wait for them?’
‘I’m not sure. What do you think?’
‘They could be there in five minutes or five hours.’
‘You’re right. We can’t keep the patients waiting all day. If Jackson misses the entire ward round, he can just join tomorrow’s. I mean, it’s not as if we have one ward round a week. We have them every morning!’
‘Who are you trying to convince?’ Todd said with a laugh.
‘Keep me informed of the situation.’
‘Will do.’
Susie replaced the receiver. ‘Thank you,’ she said to the CNC. ‘I’ll be starting the ward round on time, Sister.’
‘Of course, Doctor,’ the CNC replied with a nod. Susie returned to the discussion room where people were talking quite animatedly about the turn of events. She was swamped with questions as soon as she walked through the door.
‘Is Professor Myers coming today or not?’ one nurse asked.
‘I have no idea. He’s stuck in traffic. We’ll be starting the round on time, though.’
‘But you can’t,’ another complained.
‘Yeah. This is my day off and I’ve specifically come in to watch him.’
‘So have I.’
‘I’ve cancelled a meeting,’ someone else said.
‘Well, I’m sorry but I can’t control peak-hour traffic any more than Professor Myers can,’ Susie stated. This wasn’t a good beginning to the day. ‘We’ll be starting the ward round in…’ she glanced at her watch ‘…three minutes. Thank you.’
She walked out and headed to the ward kitchen. She needed coffee—and fast. She made herself half a cup and drank it down before returning to the discussion room to start the round.
Some of the people who had come in on their day off left. That was their choice. As they went from patient to patient, Susie kept checking the doorway, hoping Jackson and his team would arrive.
They were halfway through the round when she looked up, straight into a pair of blue eyes that instantly melted her insides. Jackson! His silent arrival threw her off guard and she faltered for a second but quickly managed to recover.
As they moved on to the next patient, Susie took the opportunity of announcing his presence. ‘Glad you could finally make it, Professor Myers.’ Several people turned to look at him. He merely nodded, not a smile in sight. ‘I take it this morning’s traffic jam will ensure you don’t forget Brisbane in a hurry,’ she said lightly, and a few people chuckled. ‘And now we come to Mrs Hammond. How are you this morning?’ she asked her patient.
‘Not bad, not bad, dearie. Got a bigger crowd than usual, I see.’
‘Yes.’ Susie smiled back and started her spiel on Mrs Hammond’s injuries. Susie’s stomach was knotted up again and she worked hard to control her involuntary emotional response to Jackson. Yesterday hadn’t been imagined. It had been real. Very real.
After they’d finished the round, they returned to the discussion room where Susie usually answered questions, as well as asking a few herself. She wasn’t at all surprised when many people asked their questions of Jackson and she was pleased when he checked with her before answering them.
Mindful of Jackson’s tight schedule, Susie checked her watch and called for a final three questions. He shot her a grateful look. Almost one minute later Richard appeared in the doorway, ready to wrap things up, and Susie was pleased with herself for anticipating him. She was starting to feel in control of her emotions, telling herself it wasn’t because of Jackson’s presence.
As people starting filing out of the room, Richard came further in. ‘I need to speak to you,’ he said, his tone carrying a hint of annoyance. He headed over to Jackson, leaving Susie wondering what on earth she’d done wrong.
Jackson was still talking to a few people and Susie needed to check on Mr Barnes who was still in the critical care unit under close supervision. ‘I need to check on a patient and then I’ll be in my office,’ she told Richard.
He nodded
before politely interrupting Jackson’s conversation. Susie left, trying to figure out what was going on as she headed to CCU. Mr Barnes’s compartment syndrome was showing no signs of returning and Susie was pleased with his progress. He would need to have his drains taken out in a few days’ time. She wrote up her notes, releasing Mr Barnes back to the orthopaedic ward, before heading to her office. No sooner had she sat in her chair than her door opened and an angry-looking Richard stormed in.
‘I wasn’t at all impressed, Susie.’
‘With what?’ she asked, feeling her hackles begin to rise. She stood to confront him.
‘You started the ward round without Jackson!’
‘What else was I supposed to do? Wait for him?’ She walked around her desk and stood in front of him.
‘He is the visiting orthopaedic professor,’ Richard pointed out.
‘Who just happened to be stuck in a traffic jam. It wasn’t my fault, Richard. Besides, if it means that much to him, he can come tomorrow. We have ward rounds every morning, Richard.’
‘But he was scheduled to come this morning.’
‘And he did.’
‘You still could have waited.’
‘No, Richard. I couldn’t. Firstly, I have patients who are in hospital for treatment. That means physio and OT appointments. It means social workers calling on them. Time for their family and friends to visit. Meals need to be served. Blood tests and X-ray appointments need to be organised. If ward round is late, everything else is thrown off for the rest of the day. Secondly, I was also trying to keep to Jackson’s own schedule which you’re so rigid about adhering to.’
Richard opened his mouth but Susie was all fired up. After all, she was a redhead and once she got going it was hard to stop her. ‘Don’t you even think of blaming me for this morning. I had no control over Jackson being late and just because you’re angry and frustrated, it doesn’t mean you can look at me for your scapegoat. Accept the situation, Richard. Accept that the ward round started without Jackson.’
‘But it was down on his schedule that he was to take the ward round.’
‘Take the ward round? No. Your schedule was wrong. As far as I was concerned, Jackson was merely joining my ward round. I’m in charge of that ward, Richard. Not you, not Jackson. If I’m away, the job falls to my senior registrar, Kyle Thompson. As a visiting dignitary, surely Jackson would realise that he has no real say in the treatment of my patients.’
‘I do realise that,’ Jackson said from the doorway, and both Susie and Richard turned to look at him. Neither of them had heard him enter and she wondered how long he’d been standing there. His words made her feel a little better but she was still angry with the way the entire morning had been handled.
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ she snapped.
‘Why are you angry with me?’
‘Because Richard is a member of your team. You should have made it clear to him that you weren’t taking my ward round and that, regardless of your impromptu delay this morning, I still had a round to start on time.’
‘You’re right,’ Jackson said as he crossed the room to stand before her. ‘Richard, go and check things out in the lecture theatre.’
Susie could tell from his expression that he wasn’t pleased with the way Richard had handled the situation.
‘Aren’t you coming?’
‘I’ll be there.’ Jackson gave him a look that brooked no argument and Richard scuttled out of her office, closing the door behind him. ‘I apologise, Susie. Not only on Richard’s behalf but for myself as well. I had no idea he was going to take you to task over this morning’s debacle.’
Susie was still standing in the middle of her office, her hands planted firmly on her hips. At his soft tone, she felt her anger dissolve. His ability to defuse her temper caused warning bells to ring inside her head. She lowered her hands to her side and quickly turned to walk behind her desk. ‘Thank you,’ she replied as she picked up a few papers from her in-tray. When he didn’t move, she glanced back up at him. ‘Something else?’
‘Yes. Thanks for allowing me to participate in your ward round.’ His smile was encompassing. ‘I know you wouldn’t normally get that many people for a Tuesday morning ward round.’
‘That’s all right,’ she said with a small smile. ‘Some of them left when they found out you were going to be delayed.’
‘Well, at least that was some consolation.’ Jackson shook his head and started to pace slowly up and down in front of her desk. ‘It’s been a very strange morning. A traffic jam. A car accident, to be more precise, and Richard had one of his fits when I got out of the car to see if I could help. Thankfully, no one was badly injured so I returned to the car.’ He tugged at the knot of his tie. ‘Sometimes I wonder why I’m putting myself through this.’
‘What? Wearing a tie?’ she joked, hoping to lift the serious frown that now creased his brow. He stopped pacing and looked at her, the corners of his mouth twitching up slightly.
‘You know what I mean. Just between you, me and the gatepost, I’m sick and tired of being handled all the time. It took a while to get used to and most of the time I can accept it, but on mornings such as these, when things are out of our control, Richard goes off on one of his tangents.’ Jackson raked his hand through his hair and then shook his head. ‘I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about it. Sorry. I didn’t mean to burden you with my problems.’
She didn’t comment. She didn’t want his confidences. It was too…personal and that was the last thing she needed.
He stared into her blue eyes. The tension between them was so…palpable, it scared her. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to become involved. Regardless of how he made her feel, he would be leaving at the end of the week. She refused to be hurt again. She didn’t want this!
‘I’d better go,’ he said abruptly, breaking eye contact. Susie looked away as well, dragging in a deep breath.
‘Yes.’
He walked over to the door and then stopped, turning to look at her. ‘Are you coming up to the lecture theatre now?’
‘Ah…’ she stalled, knowing she should as his lecture was due to start within the next few minutes. ‘I’ll be along directly.’
Without another word, he left her office and Susie slumped down into her chair with relief. ‘Pull yourself together,’ she told herself. She tried to focus her thoughts on the work in front of her but her mind refused to budge from how incredible Jackson made her feel. With one glance, she was lost. ‘This can’t be happening.’ She buried her face in her hands.
Only this time it was different. Different from Walter and different from Greg. Or was it? Was she just telling herself that in order to justify her feelings? She hadn’t listened to the warning bells that had gone off when Greg had cancelled three of their dates in a row in order to work. What work? They worked at the same hospital, albeit in different departments, but still she had justified his behaviour. Afterwards, she’d discovered he’d been having affairs.
‘Hindsight,’ she said out loud. ‘Learn from it.’ But the way Jackson had looked at her last night had been the way she’d yearned for a man to look at her. She’d never thought of herself as beautiful, average perhaps but not stunningly beautiful, yet whenever Jackson had gazed at her it had made her feel as though she were the most desirable woman in the world.
‘Susie!’ Todd’s voice made her spring up from her chair and glare at him standing by the door. ‘You’re supposed to be upstairs. What are you doing, sleeping at your desk?’
‘I wasn’t sleeping,’ she said defensively as she headed towards him. ‘I was deep in thought and you scared me.’
‘Good. Now, get upstairs before I have Richard annoying me by sending out a search party for you.’
‘I don’t know why it should matter whether I’m a few minutes late. I’m not introducing him today. I’ll just sneak in up the back and no one will notice.’
‘Jackson will,’ he pointed out, and she knew it to be true. She
didn’t want Jackson to think she wasn’t interested in what he had to say, because she was. When she arrived, he was just walking to the podium and she quickly sat down in one of the back seats. He looked up, his gaze melding with hers, as though he’d instinctively known where she was sitting, and her heart slammed wildly against her ribs.
Taking a breath, he began his talk, his gaze now roving over the audience before him. Susie found herself completely drawn in as he explained and illustrated, with the help of colour slides, a new technique that could be adapted for both hip and knee arthroplasties.
Afterwards, he was again inundated with questions and answered them patiently. He was brilliant. Handsome, successful, brilliant—and married.
Susie returned to her office and collected her bag before heading to the restaurant across the street where they’d again be having lunch. This time there were only about thirty people joining them and they were shown through to a smaller function room.
‘I didn’t think you’d make it,’ Jackson told her as he held her chair. Susie sat and waited for him to be seated as well.
‘Sorry about that.’
‘No need to apologise. I thought an emergency might have come up after I’d left.’
‘Nothing so justifiable.’ Susie paused for a moment, deciding whether to continue. Feeling her blood pumping furiously around her body, making her light-headed, she said, ‘I’m ashamed to admit I was…lost in thought.’ She cleared her throat, unable to quite believe she’d said what she had.
Jackson leaned a little closer. ‘I hope it was a…pleasant diversion.’
Susie edged back slightly, a curious smile tugging at her lips. ‘Are you flirting with me, Professor Myers?’
His eyes widened at her words but he nodded slowly. ‘Feels a lot like it, from what I can recall.’
Richard interrupted them, handing Jackson his notes for yet another short speech. Susie was glad of the reprieve as she tried to understand what Jackson had just said. ‘From what I can recall.’ What was that supposed to mean?
She reached out and filled her water glass.