“Elizabeth, what just happened?” His breath caressed the back of her neck.
“Nothing. It’s late and the kids will be here in the morning.”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire.”
“What part of what I said isn’t true?”
“That’s not why you skirted into the kitchen like a scared rabbit.” His head lowered and his lips touched the tender skin just below her right ear. “Why did you pull away?”
“Okay, truth. I didn’t want you to kiss me again.”
“But I love kissing you, and you don’t seem to mind it either.”
Elizabeth rinsed her hands and turned as she dried them on a kitchen towel. She placed both hands on his chest, gave him a shove, and edged around him. “You do understand that it doesn’t really matter if it’s Mendoza or De Rousse after me? I’m still leaving.”
“Not if we stop both of them.”
“Don’t you think if the FBI and the U.S. Marshals could have arrested the De Rousses, they would have by now? We’ve been playing this hiding game for years. People died trying to protect me. Don’t you get that?”
The damn stubborn, pigheaded man. She stormed around the island toward the front of the house.
Noah blocked the kitchen entrance. “Stop a minute, damn it. We have to talk about this.”
She tried to shove by him, but he didn’t budge. “Move!”
“No.” He stepped closer.
Elizabeth wasn’t a petite woman, but in a span of a couple of minutes, Noah seemed to have grown taller, wider. There was no way she was going to get past him unless he allowed it.
He wasn’t the first wall she had encountered, but for some reason, he was the one that cracked the dam around her emotions wide open. Long streams of tears began to fall. Derek had warned her time and again that it wasn’t healthy to keep everything so bottled up inside. She had been fine until this damn man stuck his nose into her world.
“This is your fault,” she said, wiping the back of her hand over her cheeks. “I didn’t need this in my life right now. There is too much at stake.” She placed her fisted hand at his chest. “And I don’t appreciate it one bit.”
With her back against the door frame, she slipped to the floor, drawing her knees into her chest.
“Ah hell,” he murmured and eased down next to her, resting her against him.
The sobs seemed to go on forever. Once the well of thirteen-year-old tears dried up, she gathered her strength to move away from Noah and rose. At the sink, she pulled several paper towels off the roll, wet them, and applied the cool compress to her face.
What just happened? She never allowed herself to lose control like that. And when part of the story she hadn’t told him began to slip out, she didn’t try to stop the flood behind it, either.
“As soon as they found De Rousse’s body and realized who was behind the organ trafficking ring, I was taken into protective custody. Derek and his partner, Samantha, were part of my protection detail. Samantha was this no-nonsense, drop-dead gorgeous woman, and I think Derek was crazy in love with her. They talked me into allowing everyone, including my family, to believe I was dead. For the next several weeks, Samantha and I spent every hour together. She was so sweet with Erin and helped me face the endless doubt about what lay ahead.”
She leaned her hip against the sink.
“On the day I testified, I was ushered out a protected entrance of the courthouse. Samantha turned to say something and her face exploded in front of me.”
Noah started toward her and she placed the island between them. “There was a sniper. Samantha took the hit meant for me. It didn’t do any good testifying against the ring. They are still out there—Spencer is out there, living among all of us, doing unthinkable things that only feed my nightmares.
“My children have always lived in this nightmare. They just don’t know it. I have to tell them, knowing it will destroy what is left of their childhood.” She paused and formed the words in her head before she said them out loud. “There has always been this chemistry between us. But I can’t ever act on it and neither can you.”
“Why, Elizabeth? If we only have tonight, can’t we make the most of it?”
“The few moments of bliss in your arms will only make leaving you that much harder.” She wiped her hands onto the paper towel still clutched. “If you would prefer, I’ll call Derek and have him pick me up.”
“No, damn it,” he said, charging toward her. “I’ll not touch you again, but you’re sleeping here tonight with me. I get to give you one fucking night where you can let your guard down and know you are safe.”
His eyes grew even stormier than they were during the Spencer tale. How she would have loved to kiss the seriousness from his features, turning the hardness in his eyes back to their cobalt color. Instead, she dumped the wad of paper towels into the trash and moved toward the staircase off the foyer. Noah said nothing as he turned off the lights behind them and followed her up the stairs.
The second floor split into two wings. Noah took the right wing and opened the last door on the left. Like the rest of the so-called cabin, his room was so large, it would have taken up most of the first floor of her townhouse. A king-size bed sat in the center of the room. The furnishings and wall hangings that completed the space were items Elizabeth could only dream of owning.
Neither said anything as they readied for bed. Noah came up with an old T-shirt that came to above her knees for her to slip on. He lifted the covers on the right side of the bed, the farthest from the doorway, and nodded to her. He switched off the light and got into the bed on the other side. The idea that they were going to sleep on opposite corners of the large structure lasted about half a minute before Noah reached for her, pulling her back until she rested against his stomach, and settled an arm around her waist. His lips brushed the nape of her neck.
“Good night, Elizabeth.”
Don’t turn around. Need. Desperation. Want. If she couldn’t have all of him, she would take this moment. Wrapping her hand over his arm, she settled closer into him. She closed her eyes, taking in his musky herbal scent, and prayed she could etch into her memory the strength and power in his arms for those future sleepless nights.
“I thought you weren’t going to touch me,” she said in a choked whisper.
“I’m not touching you. I’m holding you. If you need me to show you the difference between the two, I will, gladly.”
Heat rushed into her core. Damn stupid man. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. She shoved down the need he ignited in her and asked the one question she never felt comfortable asking Derek.
“Noah, was there any value in my testifying against those monsters?”
“Yes.”
“How can you say that?”
“It was the right thing to do.”
“The price was too high.”
“Yeah, it was, but it’s not all on you anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not letting you go.”
Chapter Sixteen
The soft, melodious country ballad drifted into her consciousness, interrupting the most erotic dream in memory. Coming full awake, she instantly recognized George Strait, one of her all-time favorite music performers. His heartbreaking lyrics brought her back to the days when there was nothing more important than taking turns with her sister dancing on her father’s shoes while her brothers chased lightning bugs in the yard.
She sat up in bed and hugged the pillow at her waist, pushing the memory into the void where it belonged. How she wished she had the same power over her body. The dormant parts pulsed from the dreamy images of being wrapped in Noah’s arms while his lips caressed every inch.
His words, I’m not letting you go, kept her awake long after soft snoring sounds escaped from his throat. Elizabeth had forgotten what it felt like sleeping next to a man, and for the first time in years, she yearned for her walls to come crashing down so she could take what he freely offered.
It took a moment to realize that he no longer lay next to her. The bedroom door stood ajar and a soft light came from the room across the hallway. She slipped out of bed. Following the music, she quietly crossed the hall and eased the door open.
Noah stood with his back to the door, shirtless and holding an art pencil in his left hand. Her gaze fixated on the movements of his firm, solid shoulder muscles as his hand seemed to caress the canvas on the easel in smooth movements, blending the dark charcoal lines into soft grays. His body obstructed the image he created until he stepped away and observed his work. She tore her focus from the beauty of the man and eyed the canvas. The likeness of her was remarkable. He had somehow turned her into a beautiful woman.
“That’s incredible,” she whispered as she took a step closer. “You are an artist, Noah, an amazing artist.”
“I dabble in the medium.” He reached over and turned the music down. “Sorry I woke you.”
“You didn’t. I had a dream and …”
She swallowed the lump in her throat as heat rushed into her cheeks. The last thing she needed was Noah asking her what her dream was about. “Danny never mentioned this about you.”
“I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember. Jared makes lists, Jason takes long rides on his bike, Mac reads everything under the sun, and I do this.” He glanced at the easel. “It relaxes me and helps keep what’s real front and center.”
“And Adam?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out.”
She didn’t understand what that meant, but she let it rest. Instead, she studied the charcoal drawing of her sitting on a beach with Danny and Erin laughing in her arms. Noah must have captured the image from a photo of last summer’s beach trip. It was one of her favorites and she kept it in a frame on an end table in the living room. “That’s not dabbling. I can’t believe how well you caught Danny’s and Erin’s personalities, and as for me, you went over the top.”
He raised his eyes and met her stare. “I can only draw what I see. This is how I see you, Elizabeth.”
Reaching for her hand, he drew her close, her back resting against his chest. She turned and studied his face. His dark wavy hair had that tousled look, as if he ran his fingers through it repeatedly. While the sparkle she loved in his eyes was gone, it was replaced with what she could only describe as bedroom eyes with a hint of frustration he seemed to be trying to hide.
“I always thought you saw me as an irritating, overbearing, paternalistic mom.”
“Not even close. You are a stunning woman. Maybe I thought you were a little irritating when we first met, but now that I understand what you have been dealing with, I think you are one of the bravest women I have ever known.”
He bent his head and his soft lips brushed over the tender skin at her neck. Tiny, familiar jolts of need rushed through her. God, if just his lips on her neck made her body tremble, what would the rest of him do to her?
Stop! Nothing can happen tonight or any night. The man drew a few lines on a page and she was ready to jump his bones. It was crazy. Noah McNeil was slowly becoming her drug of choice, and she had to end this.
She eased slowly out of his hold. “Why are you drawing me? Don’t get me wrong. It’s beautiful, but—”
“It’s for me. I need this.”
Hell, what was she supposed to do with that? She didn’t want the pain in his voice either. That sound, the feeling it gave her, was too familiar. Longing. Desolation. Loneliness. Those emotions lived close to the surface, and she wouldn’t wish them on her worst enemy.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Noah. Can’t we return to the way things were?”
He shook his head as a slight smile touched his lips. Removing the rag tucked into his waistband, he cleaned the tips of his fingers. “I’m a moving-forward type of man. I like the woman I’m getting to know.” He closed the space between them. “And I want to know more,” he whispered as he traced the back of his finger over the tense muscle above her brow. “Don’t shut me out. You and I could be amazing together.”
“I can’t …”
He cupped her neck. “Yes, we can.”
“The De Rousses—”
“Those fucking bullies are going to wish they picked on someone else once I’m finished with them.”
“Bullies?” Elizabeth let out a frustrating breath and curled her hand into a fist.
“You think I’m going to stand back and allow the De Rousses to hurt you?”
“You will stay away from them, you hear me?” With each word, she poked a finger into his chest.
Noah grabbed her hand and flattened the fingers over his heart. “I’m not one of your kids. That tone isn’t going to work on me.”
“You damn pigheaded—”
He covered her mouth with his, stopping her tirade. She pulled back, but he didn’t give an inch. This kiss wasn’t a tentative let’s-get-to-know-each-other peck. It was a hot, open-mouthed, possessive kiss she couldn’t ignore. Nothing about the man he transformed into could be defied.
And she was so damn tired of fighting. The blood in her veins turned to fire as need erased rational thought. When her knees began to tremble, she circled his neck, bringing herself hard against his naked chest. She gave back in spades what he was giving her. She wanted everything Noah McNeil was willing to give.
His hands cupped her bottom and he lifted her into him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he charged toward the doorway. Entering his room, he released her mouth. All gentleness left his features. She didn’t need to hear what he had to say because he wore it on his expression: chiseled jaw, black coal irises, pulsating vein at his temple.
“I want you in my bed.”
“I got that.”
He paused for an instant then lowered her on to the rumbled sheets. “Just wanted to make myself clear.”
“Clear as glass. But, Noah …”
He lowered his mouth for another hard, quick kiss as his body covered hers. “No buts.”
She shoved down on her pride and said, “You need to know something.”
“What?”
The heat from the fire in her veins rushed into her face. She lowered her chin as she tried to find the words that needed to be said.
His rough knuckle just as quickly raised her face until they were eye to eye. “None of that. We are in this together.”
“It has just been a long time for me.”
“How long?”
“The night I conceived Danny.”
Shock replaced the hardness in his expression. “Damn, it’s a wonder you are still alive.”
She couldn’t help herself. A laugh bubbled up and escaped her throat. “There’s more.”
“Spill it, sweetheart. You’re not scaring me away.”
“Okay, so you know that orgasm thing?”
“Yeah?”
“Never had one. No pressure.”
Chapter Seventeen
“That’s a challenge I’m willing to take.”
Noah rolled her on top of him and twined his fingers into her hair. She fit so nicely, her body molding into his. He wanted to ravish her mouth, every inch of her until he took his fill, but he slammed down his desire. Fourteen years was a long time. He didn’t want her to regret her decision and leave disappointed. It was up to him to make the wait worth it.
He brought his lips back to her mouth, running his tongue gently over her bottom lip. “I’m good with that orgasm thing. We’ll work up to that, but in the meantime, I’m yours.”
Something close to fear edged into her eyes. He brought his hand to her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
She slipped off him onto her side. Again, she lowered her eyes.
“Elizabeth, talk to me,” he whispered as he raised her chin with his thumb.
“It’s not a good idea to leave me in charge here. I haven’t a clue what to
do,” she said.
Now, that was honesty. Deep warmth settled over him. When was the last time Elizabeth Merlot trusted anyone enough to take over? He turned so they faced each other. “I said we are in this together. Where would you like to begin?”
She studied him closely as she gently chewed her bottom lip. His blood rushed into his groin. The woman was killing him and she hadn’t a clue the effect that simple act was having on him. She raised her hand and cupped his neck, her finger teasing the stubble on his jaw. Sliding closer to him, she took his mouth, her lips at first so tentative, gentle, it took his breath away. Her control seemed to shatter an instant later as a slight groan escaped and she ravished his mouth.
Giving up control and allowing her to take the lead became a real challenge. He cupped the back of her neck and moved her on top of him where she belonged.
He needed to feel her skin against his. Moving his hand down to the hem of her T-shirt, he gave it a tug. She didn’t break the kiss but eased off of him enough so he could pull the cotton fabric over her breast. Pulling his mouth away, he heaved the shirt over her head and sent it to the floor. Her lips were back on his an instant later, hot, demanding.
Her vanilla scent filled his lungs as the tips of his fingers inched down her neck to the silky skin of her breast. He gave her a chance to push his hand away before he moved to the peak. Using just his thumb and forefinger, he gently massaged the nipple as his other hand roamed down her spine. When a deep moan escaped her throat, he increased the pressure.
Time stilled, and hot, sizzling urgency charged through him. The woman was nothing what he expected but everything he wanted. And he needed more; every sense demanded equal time. He broke the kiss and brought his lips to the skin just below her right ear. “My turn,” he said, and raised his head to meet the fire burning in her eyes.
Good, her want was as strong as his.
She weaved her hands through his hair, her fingers playing with the spot at the base of his neck. “On one condition.”
He let out a short laugh. “And that would be?”
“I’m not a virgin, Noah.”
“I’m giving you a chance to get used to me.”
In the Shadow of Vengeance Page 12