Life-After

by J. A. Laraque

  I pulled her to me wrapping my arms around her. Like my dreams, my afterlife was to be what I made of it. It was stupid of me to believe there would be no more pain. There is no love without hate, no pleasure without pain. Clara had suffered and in a moment of weakness turned to a man who had tried to save her. There was no way I could truthfully tell myself that I would not do the same.

  Clara’s warmth slowly returned and my surroundings changed to match my feelings. The sun began to shine and the clouds had disappeared. Spring time had returned and I wanted nothing more than to put the past behind us and begin anew.

  “David, take a moment.” Clara said softly. “It is important that you be alone with your thoughts. I will be waiting for you when you return.”

  “Clara, I love you. Please know that will never change.”

  With a kiss the last of the gloom inside me was washed away. Clara smiled and walked towards the garden. A part of me wanted to follow her, but she knew me well. Often after Clara and I had a heated discussion I would take a walk. At our home near Naxum there was a large forest that I would hike through to clear my head. Almost as if placed there specifically for this occasion a large forest sat just beyond the cabin.

  I began my walk through the dense forest amazed by how much if felt like the one back home. The smell of the bark, the rustle of the leaves, I could not help but wonder if earth was created as a mirror of heaven. More than likely it was as Clara had said; our afterlife was created from our thoughts and memories. Perhaps the forest was from my mind, it was just the kind of environment that I wanted.

  In the distance I could hear rushing water. With a steady jog I followed the sound to a small stream. I knelt down at the streams edge and ran my hand though the water. It was cool, and crystal clear. I looked at myself in the reflection. Still wearing my military uniform I wanted to tear it off and leave it behind.

  I cupped my hands together and splashed the water against my face, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Finally I was beginning to relax and happiness was slowly returning to me. I opened my eyes and quickly turned around to look behind me. There was a reflection in the water, it looked like Clara but there was no one behind me. I stood up and looked around. I called out Clara’s name but received no answer.

  There was still so much about what happened to me that I did not understand. I could not be sure of what I saw. What I did know was that I wanted to remain with Clara and what happened in the past no longer mattered. I followed the stream back to the cabin. Clara was looking out the bedroom window. She smiled as she saw me approaching. It was time to make my feelings clear and to tell Clara that our new life together was to start now. I walked into the bedroom and Clara sat on the edge of the bed. I approached and sat down next to her.

  She could see that I had something to tell her, but I wanted to do more than that. I took hold of her hand and held it in mine. I wanted her to feel me, to understand that no matter what I would never leave her. The truth had been shown to me and as painful as it was I knew it was necessary. All that was left was to show her why I could never stop loving her.

  “I want you to see something.” I said to Clara. “Please, can you access my memories?”

  “I can.” Clara answered.

  She placed her free hand on my forehead. A rush of energy followed through me. Every part of my body was tingling as if filled with brilliant energy. My body became light and soon I could no longer feel it. All around me began to ripple as if reality were a still pond struck by a stone. The waves quickened and soon everything blurred and darkened. I could no longer feel Clara’s hand, but I could feel that she was with me.

  “David, what I have created a pocket within our world. This blank dimension can be used by you to show me whatever you wish. Just think upon what you want to show me and it will be created here. I will help you as much as I can, but you must remain in control or the reality you create will shatter and we will need to start again.”

  I could hear her words our loud and within my mind. Surrounded by darkness I thought back to when we had finally dug our way out of Naxum. The darkness began to clear and I could see it, a vast tunnel leading out to a small waterway. It had taken so long to dig our way out. We had lost quite a few soldiers in the process. At the opening leading to the outside General Davalos stood with the communications team.

  “Everyone, we have established communications with command.” General Davalos said addressing everyone. “Here is what we know.”

  Clara, by the time we had escaped from Naxum the invaders had already landed. General Davalos was ordered to bring all surviving personal to a staging base a few miles away. It was chaos. All we wanted was to find out what happened to our loved ones, we were not prepared to fight even though we wanted revenge for what had happened.

  General Davalos made it clear that if we disobeyed the order we would be consider traitors. He had a security team with him who drew their weapons on us. A group of soldiers resisted and there was a fire fight, I used the opportunity to escape and just ran towards home.

  Running from Naxum I saw the impact from the meteor fragment. It had struck just inside the fence perimeter destroying the main entrance to the facility. The creator was the size of a football field, there were bodies everywhere, some burned so badly they were unrecognizable. The sky was a thick grey, it was unbearably cold, and I could hardly breathe. In the distance I could see Naxum city; it was in ruins.

  I charged on not knowing who or what was out there. I did not care about the enemy; I just wanted to reach home. As I came over the large hill towards the house I knew inside there was little chance you would be there, but I kept going on the hope that you would be. Before I reached the house I could see it. It has been badly damaged, nearly hollowed out. The front door laid flat just inside our living room. Inside it was clear our home had been ransacked.

  Still I called out to you searching every inch of the house, but you were not there. I walked into our bedroom and saw the breakfast tray on the floor. I could no longer keep strong. I fell to my knees crying, screaming out your name.

  It was dark before I finally left the house. I found your grandmothers locket under the bed, it was all that was left that was yours. There was nothing left for me. My only choices were to give up or fight. It sickens me to think how close I came to just ending my own life, but I could not do that. You had died, murdered by them and I could not let that stand.

  It took the entire night but I made it to the staging base. It was in ruins. Many vehicles and buildings were still on fire. The fallen bodies were fresh, the attack must have happened just hours before. In the command center I found General Davalos’s body. Before I could kneel down to pay my respects I heard a rifle being cocked behind me.

  I was surrounded by a military scout team. They blindfolded me and took me away by chopper. I told them the truth about everything. At that point it did not matter anymore. Humanity was fighting for its survival and another willing person was all that was required. There were no more questions to be asked. I was briefed on the situation, given a weapon and sent out to fight.

  My thoughts returned to Clara sitting beside me and in an instant I was returned to the bedroom. Clara was still holding my hand looking at me. It was dark outside; I did not know night was possible there. I pulled her close and hugged her tightly running my hand up and down her back.

  “Shortly before we were deployed I checked the causality database.” I said to Clara. “You were listed as dead. It was the only confirmation I had. The base they had taken me to was in New Chicago. I returned to our old apartment. It had been destroyed, but I found an open space near our backyard and buried your grandmother’s locket there. It was then I made my promise that I would not stop fighting until I was with you again. We are here now, together. All that matters is us, our life can begin new, right here, right now. I want you to be with me forever.”

  Clara began crying softly, but these were not tears of pain. In each other’s arms we had f
ound our heaven. She ran her hand down my chest as I pressed my lips against hers. I put aside my thoughts and surrendered to my feelings. We made love in the moonlight shining in through the bedroom window. I do not know if it was her or I who created that moon, honestly, it did not matter.

  We feel asleep in each other’s arms. I was at peace content in my world until a sound from outside woke me from my sleep. I sat up in bed quickly turning towards the window. The moonlight lit up Clara’s garden, but I could not see anymore. I looked down at Clara and smiled, she was still asleep. I could have watched her sleeping for hours, but again a noise from outside drew my attention.

  Clara had clearly said there were other people, but the world created there was our own. I did not want to wake her, but I could not return to sleep until I investigated the noise. Quietly I slipped out of bed grabbing my clothes from the floor. I stepped outside, carefully closed the backdoor and made my way towards the forest.

  I thought back to the image I saw earlier in the water, it was a woman, but I could not make out who it was. My thoughts began to wander. The afterlife would contain the souls of everyone who had died. Though I was not sure if there was a hell or different places where the dead would be, it was possible someone else was aware of my arrival and was searching for me. What did not make any sense was why they would hide their presence. I did not want to believe that it could be someone who would cause us harm, but if there is pain and sadness then evil was also possible.

  I only had the light from above to guide me though the forest. Once deeper in I found myself surrounded by darkness, it kept me from progressing any further. The air felt cooler and there was something else, an almost static-like presence in the air. Just as I was turning to head back to the cabin I heard the rustling of branches near me. I ran following the noise trying my best to pick up a sent or another means to track her. I came to a stop and listened for footsteps or any other sound, but I could not hear anything. Even without seeing, hearing or smelling I could sense someone was there, close to me.

  “I know you are there.” I yelled out. “Who are you? Why are you here?”

  There was no response but again I could feel the presence, it was all around me. I was still in the forest and yet there was a foreign presence surrounding me as if I had stepped out of the reality Clara and I had created into something else.

  “I’m warning you.” I growled. “If you approach us again unannounced I will defend myself. I don’t care if this is heaven or not…”

  “You’re not in heaven.” The voice whispered.

  The voice was feminine, quiet, the sound floated through the air. It was barely a whisper and yet it echoed around me, through me. With a sentence the voice had awaked a doubt within me that I had tried so hard to tuck away. The only heaven I had ever known was with Clara and she was taken from me. Even when I held her to my chest I feared that something would try and take her again and it scared me. Hearing that what I had just come to accept was a lie angered me. I balled my fist and stared into the darkness. I wanted to find whoever had said those words and make them tell me the truth.

  “I’m not going to listen to or believe a voice in the dark!” I screamed. “I will only say this once more. Stay away from me and my wife!”

  “She’s not your wife.” The voice responded.

  The statement was clear and devastating. Whoever was behind the voice knew exactly what to say. With four words my heaven was destroyed.

  6

  One of the greatest military inventions created by Factor Twelve was the virtual reality training system. As soldiers we were not just mindless drones with guns. The new military initiative was far beyond that. While we retained divisions such as the Air Force and Navy, all soldiers were cross trained for maximum efficiency in a variety of situations. A war fought across the globe called for troops that could perform under several different conditions. Training was paramount and the key to the eventual Alliance victory. I was not aware that the alliance was using the V.R.T.S. on new recruits, I only discovered this when I arrived at boot camp and met Hershel Grey.

  Hershel was a picture perfect marine stereotype, tall, chiseled features, square jaw and loud as hell. When I stepped off the bus he was leading the new recruits in push-ups, at first I thought he was the drill sergeant, turns out he was fresh meat just like me. When the real drill sergeant arrived he tore into Hershel and Hershel puffed out his chest and returned the shouts in kind. As punishment Hershel was ordered to run until he puked, I did not see him for days.

  Throughout the first few weeks of boot camp Hershel made it his mission to be the best. Every time trial there was to beat he did it. Hershel never complained, never gave up and did everything with a proud smile on his face. At first I thought it was arrogance, but as I watched him I realized he had real pride in himself and he believed in the alliance military.

  One night while I was on guard duty I heard the sounds of someone crying near the firing range. I found Hershel leaning against a tree staring up into the night sky. When he noticed me he quickly stood up wiping away his tears. I asked him what was wrong and at first he was hesitant, but soon he told me what had happened.

  Hershel joined the military not only because he wanted to fight but because the military would support any family members you left behind. I learned Hershel was from Paramount City; his father had died of an illness and he was raised by a single mother. When Hershel turned ten his mother was diagnosed with Lineage Disease, a disorder that slowly caused complete muscle failure. He learned that Factor Twelve was working on a muscle enhancing formula which also could be used in the treatment of Lineage Disease.

  Hershel knew the only way to get hold of the formula would be to join the military. It was not abnormal. The war had left many countries on the brink of collapse. Unemployment was over fifty percent and many people were left without the basic necessities. All resources went to the war and in turn the little resources left were used to benefit the alliance soldiers and their families. Hershel’s mother’s only chance for treatment was to be covered under her son’s medical plan.

  Earlier that afternoon Hershel received a call. His next door neighbor had found his mother collapsed in her home. By the time she was taken to the hospital she had died. Hershel lost his main reason for joining and I believed the next thing he was going to tell me was that he would go A.W.O.L. He told me that he would never quit and would continue on because he made a promise to his mother that he would. After that night we became friends and for the first time ever I had someone I could confide in.

  Over the next few weeks Hershel and I learned all about each other. I told him everything about my life and I learned everything about his. We became friendly rivals competing against each other in our training events. We had a common goal and that was to show up Sara. Of course until I fell for her.

  A few weeks before finishing boot camp we were transferred to the advanced teams. Codenamed Alpha Factor, we were the best of the rookies. By then Sara and I were moving forward with our relationship and I was introduced to our squad commander, Lieutenant Commander Jonathan Kane.

  We were to be part of a special training course which was to be kept secret until we were ready to begin. Later that night Hershel told me he knew what the training would be. V.R.T.S was created to simulate conditions we may encounter in the field. The Federation was known to torture its prisoners using pain and pleasure to get information out of enemy soldiers. The V.R.T.S was nicknamed the Coffin because of the small capsule-like device that the trainee would be placed into. Wearing a sensory suit the soldier would be totally immersed within a virtual world that the V.R.T.S engineers could control.

  The idea of being connected to a device that controlled what I saw and felt was extremely unsettling. Dealing with nightmares as a child and my other mental issues, the last thing I wanted was some scientists connecting a computer to my brain. Hershel laughed it off saying I was being silly and that it would make us better soldiers. He convinced me every
thing would be fine, he gave me his word and that was good enough for me.

  The training was done in two’s. Part of me wanted to be with Sara who had also made the team, but I was happy to be paired with Hershel. We were to work as a team to accomplish a variety of missions and we would be scored and timed. Suited up and strapped into the machine, Hershel’s voice came over the internal speakers telling me to relax, that it would be over quicker than I knew.

  I found myself in complete darkness and slowly the reality around me came into sight. Everything felt so real. I could touch, taste and smell everything as if it were real. Hershel and I completed a series of test missions without incident then we moved into the real training. At first I was able to remember that nothing I was experiencing was real, but the engineers compensated for that by adding elements like pain. We had to behave as if it was real or we could suffer damage that to our mind.

  What I did not understand was that time could be manipulated within the V.R.T.S. It felt as if weeks had gone by and soon we had forgotten that we were in an imaginary world. Hershel and I believed we were trapped behind Federation lines trying to escape. To us it was real, the danger, the fear of death.

  We had reached a check point and devised a plan to get by, but something went wrong and we were captured. Separated I was locked in a tiny cell with no food, water or sunlight until I thought I was going to die. Just as I prepared for death they would pull me from my cell and give me enough food and water to live. If I refused they would strap me down and feed me intravenously.

  They did not ask me a question for months. One night I was pulled from my cell and put in another. There was a man balled in the corner trembling, it was Hershel. I tried to help him, but he would not respond. When the guards came I asked them what they had done, but they did not answer, not with words anyway. They struck me with their weapons until I lay bloodied on the ground. They just laughed and left me there.