‘I’m famished,’ he assured her, tucking in. He chewed and swallowed, rolling his eyes in pleasure. ‘Delicious! My compliments to the chef.’
‘Thank you.’ Mia laughed as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She sat down and helped herself to a slice of toast. ‘All compliments gratefully received. It’s not often I get the chance to cook for someone who actually notices what he’s eating.’
‘It sounds as though Harry’s view on food is much like Noah’s. So long as it’s something he likes, that’s fine.’
He gave her a quick smile then carried on eating. He seemed to be really enjoying the meal and Mia couldn’t help feeling a little glow of satisfaction spring up inside her. She was one of life’s carers and enjoyed looking after the people she loved.
The thought hit home and she put down her toast, afraid that she would choke if she tried to eat it. She didn’t love Leo. The idea was ridiculous...
Wasn’t it?
Panic rose up inside her as she studied his downbent head. That she was attracted to him wasn’t in question but it was a huge leap from attraction to love. She’d only ever loved one man and that had been Chris, and her feelings for Chris had been very different from how she felt about Leo. Her love for Chris had made her feel safe and secure. For the first time in her life she’d had someone to rely on, someone who wouldn’t let her down.
It wasn’t like that with Leo, though. There was an edginess to her feelings for him, an air of excitement and danger that sprang from the fact that she found him sexually attractive. She hadn’t wanted Chris that way and she wouldn’t demean their marriage by pretending that she had.
Maybe it was the fact that she had known from the outset that they couldn’t have a full physical relationship that had tempered her feelings—she wasn’t sure. However, the truth was that not once had she felt for Chris even a fraction of the desire she felt for Leo. She bit her lip. Adding it all up, what did it mean? Was it love? Or was it something far less demanding?
* * *
Leo wasn’t sure what Mia was thinking. It was obviously something profound because she seemed to be lost in thought. He carried on eating even though his appetite had disappeared. There was no point speculating about what was going through her mind, definitely no point asking her either. He couldn’t afford to go down that route, didn’t dare try to find out anything more about how she thought or felt. It was far too risky, especially when they were both here in the cottage, the one place where he had always been able to relax and be himself.
He sighed. They had managed so well up to now too. Even though he had found it a strain being around her the previous evening, having the boys there had helped. However, the boys weren’t here now and he was very aware that his emotions could easily get the better of him. He had sworn after his divorce that he wouldn’t get involved again. Although he hadn’t loved Amanda, their break-up had been taxing. He didn’t intend to put himself through that experience again, especially now he had Noah and Harry to consider. He needed to concentrate on them and forget all these crazy ideas that kept invading his mind.
He forced down the last morsel of food and placed his knife and fork neatly on the plate. ‘That was delicious. Thanks again for making it, Mia, although I didn’t invite you along so you could be chief cook and bottle-washer.’
The jocular note he’d been aiming for didn’t quite ring true but she seemed not to notice. Leo felt his heart lurch when she looked up and he saw the awareness in her eyes. He knew then that whatever she’d been thinking had concerned him and it was both intriguing and scary to wonder how he had featured in her thoughts.
‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’ She gave a little shrug and he had the distinct impression that she was trying to shrug off whatever had been bothering her. ‘As for doing the cooking while we’re here, well, it’s no hardship. I’m more than happy to sort out the meals.’
‘Careful! I may take you up on that offer,’ he warned her in the same falsely jovial tone that filled him with impatience. Why on earth didn’t he just ask her what was wrong and be done with it? It was on the tip of his tongue to do that when she pushed back her chair and he knew—he just knew!—that she had read his mind and taken steps to forestall him.
‘The boys are in the garden. I think they’re hoping you’ll play football with them.’
‘Ah, right. I suppose I’d better go and show willing, although after that breakfast I doubt I’ll have much of a chance against the two of them.’
Leo drummed up a laugh as he went to fetch a sweater. Harry and Noah came rushing over when he went outside, demanding that he played with them. They formed a makeshift goal out of a couple of logs and Leo acted as goalkeeper, letting as many balls slip into the ‘net’ as he stopped. He didn’t believe in being too hard on them, unlike his own father had been. On the rare occasions his father had played with him, he’d been treated as an adult and never allowed to win. His father believed it was character forming to make a child face up to the realities of life at an early age, but Leo could remember how dispiriting it had been and refused to adopt that approach with Noah and Harry. They would find out how difficult life could be all in good time.
He sighed as he glanced towards the cottage. He was only just discovering exactly how hard it was himself.
* * *
The rain started after lunch. Mia had packed a couple of Harry’s favourite DVDs so once the boys were settled in front of the television, she went up to her room to find the book she had brought with her. Rain was beating against the bedroom window and she paused to watch the raindrops racing down the glass. Whilst she loved the cottage, she couldn’t help hoping that it wouldn’t rain the whole time they were here. The thought of being shut up inside with Leo was enough to cause her more than a few misgivings.
‘Seems the forecast was spot on after all.’
She swung round, her heart lurching when she saw him standing in the doorway. He had changed out of his muddy clothes after the game of football and was wearing a black tracksuit with a pair of old trainers. It was the first time she had seen him wearing such casual clothing and she couldn’t help thinking how much it suited him, the soft cotton top emphasising the width of his shoulders and his dark good looks.
‘So it seems.’ She dredged up a smile as she showed him the novel. ‘Good job I brought this along, just in case.’
‘Oh, there are plenty of things to entertain you,’ he said softly, and her heart went into overdrive as she found herself picturing all the things she could do. With Leo.
‘That’s good to know.’
Her voice sounded more than a little husky and she cleared her throat. Had he said that deliberately or, rather, said it in that way? She hurried to the door, refusing to work out the answer because it was too dangerous. To allow herself even to think about all the things they could do to pass a rainy afternoon was asking for trouble!
‘Deborah was a keen reader so there’s a stack of books if you run out of reading matter.’ Leo led the way along the landing, pausing when he reached his room. He swept a hand towards the open door. ‘Here, have a look and see if there’s anything you fancy.’
Mia hesitated, unsure why she was so loath to enter his bedroom. With the boys downstairs, Leo was unlikely to pounce on her even if he’d been the pouncing sort, which he wasn’t. She poked her head round the door, taking rapid stock of the old oak furniture and half-tester bed, a bed that was definitely big enough for two people to enjoy...
‘I’ve added to the collection over the last few years.’ Leo went over to the bookcase. Lifting down a couple of paperbacks, he offered them to her. ‘Have you read these? I really enjoyed them.’
‘I...ehm... No. I don’t think I have.’ Mia reluctantly stepped into the room, realising how ridiculous it would appear if she remained hovering in the doorway like a nervous virgin. Colour rushed up her throat at
the thought and she hastily took the books from him, making a great show of reading the back blurbs although she had no idea what they said.
‘You should read this one first so you get a feel for the characters.’
He took one of the books from her and she froze when his fingers brushed against hers. There was a moment when neither of them moved, when even the air seemed to freeze, and then slowly, so very slowly, he placed the book on the bed and turned to her.
‘I’m going to kiss you, Mia. If you don’t want me to then say so.’
Mia tried her best. She really did. The refusal was hovering in her throat, one tiny word that just needed to be forced out and yet somehow she couldn’t seem to do it. She saw his eyes darken, watched the question in them melt away and be replaced by a hunger that awoke an answering hunger inside her. When he reached for her, she was already moving towards him so that it took minimal effort for their mouths to meet.
His lips settled over hers, softly, warmly and so familiarly that she sighed. It shouldn’t feel so good to have him kiss her. It shouldn’t feel so right when they both knew it was wrong. However, there was no point lying. She wanted his kiss. She wanted him.
Mia closed her eyes, giving herself up to the sensations that filled her. She’d had a taste of desire the last time they had kissed and this was just as potent. She could feel her breathing quicken, feel her body heat, feel all sorts of things she had never felt before, and it was all Leo’s doing. He seemed to be able to tap into her emotions in a way that no man had ever done before.
He drew back, tilting her face so that he could look into her eyes and whatever he saw there obviously reassured him because his expression lightened. Bending, he rested his forehead against hers and Mia felt the tremor that passed through him.
‘I don’t know why this is happening, Mia. But I’ve never felt this way with anyone before.’
‘Me neither,’ she whispered, deeply moved by the confession. She cupped his cheek with her hand, shuddering when he turned his head and pressed his lips to her palm. ‘I had no idea that desire felt like this.’
He drew her to him and enfolded her in his arms, and she knew that he was as affected by her admission as she’d been by his. When he bent and kissed her again there was a tenderness about the kiss that brought tears to her eyes. The fact that he was making allowances for her inexperience simply proved that she had been right about him. Beneath that cold hard exterior he presented to the world, there was someone very different. A man she could very easily love.
Mia wasn’t sure what might have happened next. However, a sudden crash from the sitting room brought them both back down to earth. Leo sighed as he gently set her away from him.
‘I’d better go and see what’s happening.’
‘Yes.’ Mia dredged up a smile, wondering where they went from here. Although they had agreed to forget what had happened the last time they had kissed, it didn’t seem feasible to do so again.
‘It’ll be fine, Mia. I promise you that.’
He tilted her face and she shivered when she saw the hunger in his eyes. That he wanted her as much as she wanted him was clear and it made the situation even more difficult. Could she do the right thing, the sensible thing, when she knew that Leo wanted her this much?
‘Will it?’ she whispered anxiously. ‘Are you sure about that?’
‘As sure as I can be.’ He ran the pad of his thumb over her throbbing lips. ‘We’ll work something out, Mia. We have to.’
The desperation in his voice was an aphrodisiac in itself. Mia’s heart was pounding as he let her go and hurried from the room. Sitting down on the bed, she took a shaky breath. Was it the fact that it was her first real taste of desire that made it so difficult to control her feelings? If she’d been more experienced then she might be able to deal with what was happening with equanimity, but there was no way that she could do that. Leo had awakened feelings she’d not known existed before and it was impossible to behave calmly and dispassionately.
She shivered as a rush of fear assailed her. If she weren’t careful her feelings for Leo would take over and that was something she couldn’t allow to happen. She had to think about the harm it could cause to Harry and Noah if she and Leo had an affair and it all went wrong. She also had to think about the harm it could do to her too. If she fell in love with Leo and lost him, she might never recover. She had to protect the children and herself, and if that meant steering clear of Leo, that was what she would have to do.
* * *
The day seemed never-ending. As Leo played one board game after another, he could barely contain his frustration. He didn’t want to play snakes and ladders. He had far more adult games in mind, games that involved him and Mia and a bed. He could have happily passed the afternoon and the evening playing with her!
‘Daddy! You’ve just gone up a snake!’
Leo dragged his mind back to what was happening when he heard the disgust in Noah’s voice. ‘Sorry. I wasn’t concentrating.’ He placed his counter on the correct square and handed the dice to Harry, trying not to look at Mia. He had a feeling that she knew only too well why he was so distracted.
His gaze slid sideways and he felt his heart leap when he saw the colour in her cheeks. It was rare that women in his circle blushed and he found Mia’s propensity to do so all the more erotic. That she’d admitted to being an innocent had both surprised and touched him. Even though he had guessed that she and her husband hadn’t been able to have a full physical relationship, most women her age had had love affairs and he had assumed she had too. However, from what she had said, her experience of lovemaking, of passion, was limited.
The thought struck deep. It was an effort to focus on the game rather than on the thoughts that filled his head, thoughts of how much he would enjoy teaching her about making love. Would she be as sweetly responsive in his bed as she’d been in his arms? he wondered, and groaned because the thought was too much to deal with. He took the dice from Harry, summoning up a suitable show of enthusiasm when he scored a six. However, he couldn’t help thinking that if he did make love to Mia it would be like scoring a dozen sixes all in a row.
The game finally ended and Noah was declared the winner, much to his delight. As Leo watched him and Harry go racing out of the room, he realised that no matter what else happened this week, he had achieved his objective. Being here with Harry and Mia had made a huge difference to Noah. He seemed so much happier, more like he’d been before the accident. Once again the thought that he might have to let Noah go if it was in his best interests crossed his mind but he pushed it aside, not wanting it to ruin the day. He would deal with it if and when it became necessary, although, please, heaven it wouldn’t come to that.
‘Tea?’
Mia finished stowing the counters in the box and stood up. She smiled at him and Leo felt warmth envelop him. All of a sudden it struck him what had been missing from his life. Maybe he did have wealth and professional standing. He might even move in the highest social circles and be accepted by princes and lords, but none of that mattered. For the first time ever, he’d been accepted for who he was, not what he had. Mia saw him as a man first and everything else second. Reaching out, he caught hold of her hand and pulled her towards him.
‘I can think of something I’d like more than tea,’ he growled.
He kissed her swiftly on the lips then let her go, not wanting to run the risk of the boys bursting in on them. Mia didn’t say anything as she hurried into the kitchen but he had felt her response and knew that she felt the same as he did. One kiss wasn’t enough for her either. She needed more and not just more kisses either.
Leo closed his eyes, feeling excitement rippling along his veins. Tonight they were going to have everything they wanted.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
IT WAS GONE nine before Harry and Noah finally fell asleep. Mia
switched off the light and tiptoed from the room. With a bit of luck they would sleep through till morning so she and Leo could have some time on their own.
Colour rushed up her face as she found herself imagining how they would spend that time. That they would make love wasn’t in question. They both knew it was going to happen and there was no point pretending that it wouldn’t. She wanted Leo to make love to her and she wouldn’t cheapen the experience by dissembling.
She wanted to lie in his arms and discover how it felt to be a woman. She wanted to feel the power of passion as it carried her away, allow her mind as well as her body to be consumed by desire. Although she’d had a child, the fact that Harry hadn’t been conceived naturally had robbed her of that experience and she intended to make up for it. If she knew how desire felt, she would feel complete and not as though something was missing.
Mia frowned, surprised to discover she felt that way. After her one and only foray into a sexual relationship had turned out so badly, she had shied away from any more such experiences. Although Chris had fretted about the fact that they couldn’t make love, she had been secretly relieved. Now she was going to put it all behind her and move on, and the fact that it was Leo—Harry’s real father—who would help her make the transition seemed fitting. No matter what happened afterwards, she would never regret this night.
‘I’ve opened a bottle of wine.’ Leo was waiting for her when she went downstairs. He held out his hand and smiled. ‘Can I tempt you to a glass?’
‘You can.’ Mia slid her hand into his, feeling her skin tingle as his fingers closed around hers. Her skin seemed unusually sensitive and the slightly abrasive touch of his fingertips made her shiver.
‘You’re shivering. Are you cold?’
He paused to look at her, a frown drawing his elegant brows together, and she shivered again. Did he have any idea how sexy he was? Did he realise that a look or even a frown could set light to her feelings? Even now she could feel the tingles spreading to other parts of her, places she had never been aware of before she had met him. She bit her lip, wondering if it was normal to be so responsive. Did all women feel this way prior to making love or was there something wrong with her?
The Motherhood Mix-Up Page 13