Reckless For You

by Julia Gray

  "Lucky you," I whisper. "He wants to talk to you. And what do you know? You are actually here." I hand the phone to Dane.

  "Dad?" he says. His expression turns stern. He clenches his jaw and looks at me. "Just a second." Dane looks at Mikki and then glances at me. "Could you give me a minute?"

  I sigh and push myself up off the couch.

  "Come on Mikki." I reach for her hand. "I'll show you my room."

  Chapter Thirteen

  ". . . I'm dying inside."

  Mikki is smiling at me but deep down I know she despises me. She has to. Back in Seaside, I single-handedly ruined her relationship with Dane by coaxing Lucy back into his life. I don't know why I did it. Maybe I did it because I don't want Mikki to make the same mistakes as me. Maybe I couldn't stand to see my brother so happy. Either way, she can't like me enough to be this friendly.

  "This room is gorgeous," she comments.

  "It's not my room back home, but it is okay."

  "So when is your aunt getting married?" She sits down gently on my unmade bed.

  "A couple of weeks I think," I reply. "I know it's soon."

  "Are you going to be in the wedding?" she asks.

  "No." I shake my head. "No way. I think she's making Myra wear taupe. Sad, isn't it?"

  "I don't own anything in the color taupe." She stands up and studies my room, running her fingers along my dresser before she settles in the sitting area. I smirk and sit next to her. My stomach feels a bit queasy, but I suck it up for the time being.

  "So you and my brother," I say. "The last time I saw you two together was at our family beach house." I raise my eyebrows and think back to what happened to Mikki in the middle of the night. Somehow she got tangled in with one of Dad's ex-clients. I guess that comes with dating my brother. As long as he works with Dad, he will always attract trouble.

  Not only did some psycho freak that Dad was tracking sneak into Mikki's room with a knife, but that was also the weekend I found out I am pregnant. I took a test after I noticed that I was a week late. At first, I was thrilled that my menstrual cramps were gone, but then I realized what that could mean.

  I took the test in one of the downstairs bathrooms that nobody ever uses. It was positive. Since then I have tried not to think about that weekend, but it keeps flooding into my mind. I remember Lucy's perfume driving me crazy. I almost puked on her on our drive up the coast.

  "Yeah," Mikki replies. "That's where we decided to start over and elope, I guess."

  "Do you swear you are not married?" I ask again. Maybe if I pressure her, she will tell the truth. Maybe she is already telling the truth?

  "No," she laughs. "Come on. I love your brother, but I'm not that naive."

  "Who would have thought," I comment. Mikki doesn't frown or look down at her shoes. She isn't going to crack. She isn't going to tell me off for bringing Lucy to the beach house to tempt Dane. I can't take it anymore. I have to know why she isn't pissed at me. "Mikki, I have to ask. Aren't you at least a little bit mad at me?"

  "For what?" she states with a calm expression on her face.

  "Well . . . everything."

  "Oh, you mean Lucy." I am astonished by the way she says Lucy's name like she's no threat to her whatsoever. "That's all in the past, right? Dane and I are back together. Lucy isn't a part of his life anymore."

  "Very mature of you," I respond. A wave of nausea passes over me. I fold my arms and turn towards the window for a few seconds.

  "Are you okay?"

  "Fine," I respond quickly. I take a deep breath. She is looking down at my stomach. I lift my chin and cross my legs. Why do I feel like she can see straight through me?

  "Good." Mikki looks around the room, out of things to say. She and I aren't friends. I understand that she is probably bored. Maybe I should take her to Myra's room? Myra will keep her entertained. If that doesn't work, I am sure that Princey can give her a run for her money.

  "Have you ever been to England?" I ask, breaking the silence.

  "Nope."

  Nice. A one-word answer.

  "What do you think?"

  She shrugs as if it is just another ordinary day.

  "It's beautiful," she quietly responds.

  "Has your aunt ever been here?" I ask.

  "Nope." She sighs. "At least, I don't think so. She works a lot."

  "I can't believe she is even still speaking to you." I attempt to get another rise out of her, but it doesn't work. Mikki's expression remains calm and unchanged.

  "She's not exactly happy that I left with Dane," she admits. "But I promised her I would be back in time to finish my generals at Seaside Community College. We have an understanding."

  I bite the side of my lip and force a fake smile. My mom and I have never had an understanding about anything except fashion. Shopping is just about the only thing we do together. Lately, we haven't even been doing that anymore.

  I try not to think about the future. It begins to make me teary-eyed just wondering what I am going to do with my life. Where will I be in ten years? Will this baby inside me hate my guts?

  I hope not.

  "Have you done anything fun since you got here?" Mikki asks. I think about the disaster of a party that Myra took me to and the guy I met there. I haven't tried to contact Sam since he kissed me, but I think about the feel of his lips on mine a little too much.

  "Fun?" I grin. "I wouldn't say I've done anything fun, but Myra has taken me out."

  "She sounds nice," Mikki comments. I bust out laughing. Mikki watches me with wide eyes.

  "Judge for yourself," I reply. "I am sure she'll pop in any minute now. She usually doesn't bother to knock. Well, she knocks, but she comes in anyway."

  Just as I say that there is a knock on the door.

  "Go ahead," I shout. "Walk right in, Myra." The door slowly opens, but it isn't Myra. Dane steps into the room with a bitter look on his face. For a minute, I think I am looking at my dad. It makes me shudder.

  "It's just me," Dane says. He quietly sits next to Mikki, and he grabs her hand without a second thought. "I talked to Dad."

  "And?" I narrow my eyes. "Let me guess, Mom decided to take a detour and stop in NYC?"

  "No," he says. "Mom is missing."

  "Oh please."

  "Paige," he continues. "Someone contacted Dad for ransom." He glares around the room and rests his eyes on every door. The bathroom door. My closet. The door he came through. "We all need to be extra careful from now on. Dad doesn't want anyone to know about this either."

  "We wouldn't know about it if you hadn't just blabbed," I say.

  "I thought you should know," Dane responds. He doesn't give me a scolding look or roll his eyes. "She is your mom too."

  I would be more worried if I weren't a Haskell. Dad gives us a talking to about the rules of the house at least once a month. No staying out past midnight. No wandering around campus after classes. Don't keep a daily routine. Never use a public restroom when no one else is around. I could go on and on. Dad's work makes him paranoid, but for good reason when you work with freaks like the guy who broke into our beach house and held Mikki at knife point.

  Dad teaches us never to show our fears. I do my best not to even when I'm dying inside.

  Like now.

  "Dane," Mikki mutters. She glances around the room. "Now is a good time don't you think?"

  I eye the two of them suspiciously.

  "Okay," I exhale. "This lovey-dovey stuff is starting to annoy me. What's going on with you two? You are acting really strange."

  "We are just really happy I guess," Mikki replies. "And . . ." She looks at Dane.

  "Paige." He leans forward. "Back in Seaside we never had a chance to talk."

  "Right."

  "The sooner, the better," he mutters. He takes a deep breath and as he does there is another knock on the door.

  "Knock, knock." Myra walks right into the room followed by Princey. "Paige, you never told me your brother is such a handsome bloke."

/>   Chapter Fourteen

  "Horrible timing."

  Myra looks like a total skank when she bends over like that. She always wears tops that make her boobs look as if they might spill over the edges, and then she insists on leaning over to pick up Princey when he misbehaves. I can tell she is crushing on my brother even though his girlfriend is sitting right next to him. I guess that doesn't matter to her.

  Myra does what she wants.

  She's a lot like me.

  Ugh.

  "I love the name Dane," Myra says, staring at my big brother.

  Don't make me vomit.

  "This is Mikki," Dane responds. "My girlfriend." He says it proudly and Mikki sits up straighter. I can see the confidence beaming from her face. She isn't shaking or slouching her shoulders. She isn't sitting with her hands clasped across her stomach because she is insecure about the way she looks in those jeans. She is content with herself. Things between her and my brother must be perfect at the moment.

  "Nice to meet you," Myra responds. "And this is Princey." She always uses a baby voice when she mentions her dog.

  "I'm sure they could hear him barking from outside when they knocked on the front door," I comment.

  "You are staying for dinner, aren't you?" Myra leans over again to put Princey on the floor.

  "Yes," I reply for them. "And the wedding. Right guys?" I stare at Dane the way I used to at the dinner table when Dad would ask us what we've been up to. As long as Dane kept my secrets, I kept his. Usually. That was the one thing we actually agreed on.

  "Yes," Dane agrees. I let out a sigh of relief. I don't have to be alone with Myra and Aunt Sheila at the wedding. Plus, watching Myra try to steal Dane away might be entertaining.

  "Brilliant," Myra responds. "We should all go for coffees, yeah? I want to hear all about your life back in America."

  I raise my eyebrows as Dane struggles with what to say. I'm not sure why he feels the need to be civil all of a sudden and not hurt his future cousin's feelings. We do have a few real cousins. The last time my dad's sister was in town she brought my cousin Michael with her. Dane somehow convinced him to slide down the laundry chute. Michael got stuck, and Dane forgot to tell Dad. It wasn't until dinner time that Mom heard him banging on the walls.

  "I wouldn't mind a coffee," Mikki says. My heart starts to pound. I hope Myra isn't planning on taking them to her little hangout spot down the street. What if Sam is there?

  "It's settled then." Myra smiles and heads for the door. "I'll get my purse."

  She is planning on going to her fave coffee place. I roll my eyes when she leaves the room. Maybe Sam isn't working today? I discreetly cover my mouth with my hand when a wave of nausea washes over me. It seems to come when I'm anxious.

  Horrible timing.

  The door closes, and I hear the sound of Myra's footsteps go faint. Mikki nudges Dane, and he looks at me. I place a hand on my stomach, hoping neither of them notices how uncomfortable I am.

  "As I was saying," Dane says. "There's something we should talk about." He looks nervously at Mikki, and she nods reassuringly. "Paige, you're my sister . . ." He hesitates again.

  "Exactly," I say. "I am your sister. So tell me what's going on with you two or leave so I can freshen up." My response comes out rude, but I don't have time to feel out what they are hiding from me. If I puke in front of them, I will have some explaining to do.

  "We know Paige," Mikki blurts out. "We just wanted you to know that we are here to help if you need us."

  "Um." My eyes widen. "What are you talking about?" My palms are sweaty, and my heart is racing even more. I can't hold in the vomit.

  I cover my mouth, but it doesn't work this time. I am too anxious. I don't know what they think they know about me, but I don't like this. I don't like not knowing Dane's hidden agenda. He could not have had a sudden change of heart this soon unless Mikki really is the girl for him.

  The more I try to hold the sickness in, the worse it gets. I feel a strong sensation in my throat that forces me to lean over. I let it all out on the rug. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dane and Mikki jump up like a mouse just scurried across the sofa. My entire head is sweaty. My chest is pounding. It has been a long time since I have felt this embarrassed.

  A tear runs down my cheek, and I run to the bathroom to wash out my mouth. I lock the door behind me and turn the faucet on full blast. Water rushes into the sink, and it drowns out the quiet whispers on the other side of the door. I breathe slowly attempting to calm myself down.

  "Paige," Dane says softly. He knocks lightly on the door. "Are you okay in there?"

  "Fine," I lie. I look in the mirror at my pale complexion and sunken cheeks. "It must have been something I ate."

  Chapter Fifteen

  "Are you pregnant?"

  I skipped the trip with Myra to the coffee shop, but I can't skip dinner. I am eager to meet Victor, Aunt Sheila's fiancé. Our meal tonight will be served in the dining room and cooked by Aunt Sheila's personal chef.

  I have been hanging out in my room since my embarrassing moment with Dane and Mikki. When they finally left, I did my best to clean up my own mess. Dessie came in to help me. Word spread quickly around the house about my food poisoning. It gives me an excuse to skip dinner, but I can't miss this. At least, no one will object if all I have for dinner is tea and toast.

  There is a knock on my door. It is too soft to be Dane and too polite to be Myra. I finish zipping up my cocktail dress. It is short and baby blue. With my blonde hair, it almost makes me look like Cinderella.

  "Come in," I say. The door slowly opens and Mikki steps inside. I am shocked to see her in something strapless.

  "Hey," she responds. "You look like you are feeling better."

  "I am. Thanks."

  "You know . . ." She quietly closes the door behind her. "I'm pretty good at keeping secrets. My friend Zanna has lots." She adjusts the top of her dress. I stare at her outfit.

  "I had no idea you were such a fashionista," I joke.

  "Myra let me borrow it," she replies.

  "That was nice of her." I clear my throat and realize again that my comment sounds a bit cold. I don't mean to be so bitchy, especially when she is trying so hard to be nice to me. I guess I just can't help it. "Do you need something?"

  I don't know why she insists on dating my brother. In my opinion, she is better off without him. She isn't a Haskell. She has a shot at being normal. Having an actual boyfriend who can take her home to see his parents for Christmas without all hell breaking loose.

  "Yeah." She folds her arms and glares at me. I have seen her look depressed. I have seen her so embarrassed that she's ready to faint. But I have never seen her angry. The look on her face confuses me. Maybe she's here to finally tell me off?

  "Well?" I urge her on.

  "I'll admit that Dane isn't the best at talking about his feelings," she says. "I'm not that great at it either. He thinks that you will come around in your own time if we keep acting friendly, but I am not so sure."

  "Mikki, if you are here to talk feelings you came to the wrong place."

  "I am here to ask you something." She takes a step closer. "And don't lie, Paige. My Aunt Scarlett lies to me sometimes, and I hate it."

  "Fine."

  "Are you pregnant?"

  My heart starts pumping faster. My face feels warm. If Mikki can tell that I'm pregnant, then everyone else will be able to too. I gulp.

  "Because I ate something that didn't agree with my stomach?" I laugh. The laugh is forced. "News flash, Mick. Sometimes people get sick okay."

  "I knew you wouldn't admit it." She shakes her head.

  "Well if I were preggo, you would be the last person I would admit it to." I take a deep breath and watch her expression change back to the insecure trainwreck of a girl who speed walks through the halls at Seaside Community College. We've both jumped back into our old roles – me being brutally honest and her being the victim.

  "Right," she mutters. "Well, I
was only trying to help."

  "You can help by not embarrassing yourself at dinner." I regret saying it as soon as the words leave my lips.

  "Whatever." She quietly bows her head as she leaves my room.

  "Wait, Mikki-"

  The door swings shut.

  I feel sick.

  It's not the morning sickness. I feel a pit at the bottom of my stomach. It churns until the rest of my torso starts to feel uneasy. The look on Mikki's face stays with me. I remember all the times I've been not-so-friendly to her like this. Each incident starts stacking up in my brain until I feel like I'm about to burst.

  She was only trying to be friendly. Even after the way you've treated her she was still willing to give you a chance. That's more than you can say for your so-called friends back home.

  I can't stop myself from having an inner debate. I always do this. I always push away the people who just want to help, and I always regret it later. The last person I stomped on was a girl named Jemma. She found me crying in the bathroom after Stephen called me a reckless slut in front of the entire football team. Jemma saw me at one of my lows. And when she asked me how I was feeling the following day, I made fun of her jogging shorts in front Alana and all of our gym class. We didn't speak after that.

  Mikki and I are from two different worlds. She will figure that out when she meets my grandparents or attends one of Dad's business parties. That day will come soon, and she will go right back to being her old self.

  Is better to be hurt now or hurt later down the road when the stakes are higher?

  I take a deep breath and clutch my stomach. I have got to stop doing that. It's habit now whenever I feel queasy. I jerk my hand away from my torso and practice gently clasping my fingers together.

  It's dinner time.

  GAVIN

  Chapter Sixteen

  ". . . hanging upside down without my teeth."