by Julia Gray
When I was fourteen and Mom left us, I vowed never to have kids of my own.
Ever.
It's a strange goal to set as a young teenage boy, but both my parents never stopped reminding Dan and me of how we had ruined their lives and messed up their plans. I never want to make another kid feel like I did. I won't make a good father. I don't have it in me.
I shake my head as I jog to the study downstairs with a handful of t-shirts and the only pair of jeans in Dane's closet that sort of fit. I have got to let this pregnancy test thing go and focus. I have to do a better job this time or Matt will never give me another assignment. I don't even know who it belongs to.
"Found a few things," I say, knocking on the door. Matt looks up from his laptop. "These shirts don't hide the tattoo on my arm, though."
"As long as it's mostly hidden." He looks at his screen again. "And the piercings?"
I haven't taken any of them out yet. I am hoping that Matt changes his mind.
"They aren't that distracting," I comment.
"Just take off the ones on your face, and always keep your jacket zipped all the way to hide that tattoo on your neck."
"Anything else?" I can't hide the frustration in my voice. It makes Mr. Haskell glare at me for a few seconds.
"Are you saying that you don't agree with me?" he asks. By the look on his face, I can't tell if he is sincere or if he's testing my loyalty. Not knowing makes my forehead start to sweat. Crazy bastard.
"I will take the piercings out," I gulp. I automatically reach for the one on my eyebrow to show him I am serious.
"Good." He looks away, and I breathe a sigh of relief. "We leave in five minutes."
Chapter Twenty Three
"Matt is fast for an old man."
I was right.
Matt and I step off a private jet and onto English soil after a long, quiet plane ride. The plane doesn't belong to him. We just hitched a ride overseas. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep most of the time but I couldn't. I was too busy thinking about Paige and what she is not telling me. I replayed the last time I saw her over and over in my head. She wasn't herself. I can't believe I didn't notice it before she left for the rest of the summer.
I follow Matt to an empty car that is waiting for us in the parking lot. We quietly toss our bags inside and get in the car. I almost slide into the driver's seat. I forgot that things here work backward. I hop into the passenger's seat which feels strange because it is on the other side of the car. I am used to having a steering wheel in front of me when I am sitting on this side.
Matt starts driving. He turns corner after corner until we are on the streets of downtown London. He is acting like he has been here before. More than once. He turns onto a residential street close to the city center, and the scenery around us begins to change. I see fewer storefronts and fewer people, and rows of town homes instead. Mr. Haskell drives a little slower.
"We are going to pass the house where my sister-in-law and her current boyfriend live," he says calmly.
"And you are sure that the Mrs is staying with her?"
He glances at me with a stern look on his face.
"Sorry," I mutter.
"She's there," he continues. "I'm sure of it."
"You're the boss." I glance out the window waiting for him to point out the house.
"That one," Matt says quickly. We pass a few townhomes that all look similar. We keep driving past a coffee shop and a bookstore before Matt pulls over. He looks up at one of the houses, his gaze wandering to the top floor. "And this is where we are staying."
"Really?" I say it quietly because I don't want Matt to think I am too excited to be staying somewhere that has a shower that works and reliable electricity. Dan never pays our power bill. Our place is basically a dump with four walls.
"Top floor flat," he specifies.
We get out of the car. Matt scans the sidewalk before he grabs his bag and heads up the stairs. It is dinner time, and the sun is going down. I am surprised that there is a chill breeze this time of year. My hand moves to my jacket zipper making sure it is zipped all the way up.
Matt takes out a key and opens the front door. We enter a dark foyer. To one side is a wall of mail slots each with a different apartment number. Matt begins our trek to the top floor. I don't see an elevator, but I don't mind climbing a few flights of stairs. Matt is fast for an old man. I jog just to keep up with his giant strides. When we reach the top, I have to catch my breath, but Matt is hardly breathing heavily.
"How long are we staying here?" I ask. The door to the flat opens revealing a modest apartment with white walls and minimal furniture. I frown when I see that there is only one bedroom.
"I'll take the couch," Matt says. He points down the hall. "Go get settled in that room."
I shrug and throw my bag down on a plain, twin-sized bed that doesn't look very comfortable. I look at each wall and check out the other side of the street from out the window. The entire place isn't very big.
"So," I say as I watch Matt open his luggage. What I assumed was a duffle bag full of clothes turns out to be a bag full of equipment. "What now?" Matt glances up and smiles.
"Now you stay here and sleep," he replies. "I am going out to do some surveillance. I will be gone the night, and you will have to keep watch when I get back so I can sleep. Got it?"
"So I'm just supposed to sit here?"
"For now." He chuckles and opens the front door. "Oh, and I trust that you aren't stupid enough to go looking for trouble? There are others out there who are also looking for my wife. All for the wrong reasons, of course."
"I understand."
Matt nods and shuts the front door.
I understand that people are after Mrs. Haskell, but I am not Mrs. Haskell. Nobody gives a rat's ass about me. I could be killed here in England, and no one back home would even care. Dan wouldn't miss me until he needed someone to pay rent.
I'm not staying cooped up in this place all night.
I am hungry, and I'm going out.
Chapter Twenty Four
"Anything for some free booze."
What Matt doesn't know won't hurt him.
I put my earrings back in and unzip my jacket a little before I go outside. The sun has almost gone down, and the air is crisp. I love dusk, especially in a big city. It is when all the excitement begins. I walk down the street, remembering the directions Matt drove to get here. My stomach rumbles as I catch a whiff of a nearby bakery. I follow the smell and smirk when I see a café with people sitting out front. I pass a couple of alleyways. One with small groups of guys crowded around each other.
I am back in my element.
I look over my shoulder a few times, anxious to do what I do best. Blend in with the crowd. Matt was wrong when he said I would stand out here with all my tattoos and piercings. If anything I feel like I fit in even more. All I have to do is keep my mouth shut.
I walk inside the café and scan the menu. I see lots of fancy coffees and a few food items. I stand in line and fold my arms until it is my turn. I order a plain coffee. Black. A couple of scones and a ham and cheese croissant. I find a table near the window so I can people watch. I have all night to explore London before Matt gets home from whatever it is he is doing. A girl brings me my order, and she smiles at me.
"Hi," I say.
"Hiya." She pauses and looks me up and down. "Are you new around here?"
"Maybe."
"Oh." She giggles. "An American. What brings you here?" She is okay looking with brown hair and an average figure. I'm not in the habit of being rude to every girl I meet.
"Business." I feel like a V.I.P. saying that. Technically I am away on business right now. Matt better be paying me for this one. I don't care how pissed he is about Paige at the moment.
"Really." She twirls her hair and glances back at the counter to make sure her co-worker isn't looking. "How long will you be around?"
"Not sure," I respond.
"I'm Ally." She lean
s in a closer to me. I let her do her thing, but my eyes won't focus on her face. They keep darting over to the plate of food on the table.
"Well, Ally what is there to do around here? Tonight might be my only free night."
"That depends." She bats her eyelashes. "Are you the partying type?"
I sit up straighter and finally grab my ham and cheese croissant.
"Maybe," I respond before taking a bite.
"Because I know of a few parties going on tonight," Ally continues. My one-word answers don't seem to bother to her. It bothers Paige when I respond this way. "One is close by actually. I heard some customers talking about it."
"You wouldn't crash a party you weren't invited to, would you Ally?" I tease.
"It's practically down the street," she says quietly, eyeing me up and down again.
"Ally!" a man calls from the kitchen.
"I get off in an hour," she says. "Will you still be around?"
"Maybe." I smirk. And maybe not. I have some snooping to do around the neighborhood. I need to know it like the back of my hand.
Ally finally leaves me alone with my food and my coffee. I eat everything in front of me in less than five minutes. After I gulp down my coffee, I wave at Ally and leave the café. She doesn't act disappointed. I head back towards the residential streets and begin memorizing each townhouse. I store everything I see in a filing cabinet in my head. I notice doors, open windows, cars, mailboxes, and every other detail that might help me learn about the people who live here. I pass a townhouse that looks familiar. It could be the one that Matt pointed out when we drove to our flat.
I keep walking. The sky is darker, and street lamps are the primary sources of light now. I hang in the shadows of the sidewalk. It is the place where I feel most comfortable. I keep my head down when I pass strangers. They don't notice me enough to glance at my face.
I turn a corner and hear voices getting louder and louder. I see bright lights down the street and a crowd of people standing outside a townhouse holding plastic cups in their hands. I smirk and trot up the front steps like I was invited. This must be the house party that Ally mentioned. I walk inside and hear music playing loud. There are enough people here that no one will question whether or not I belong.
I take a few steps past the front door and start to feel the stares. A girl wearing a tight pink dress studies me before retreating down the hallway yelling for her friend Rosie. The hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up. At first, I thought I was walking into the usual house parties I crash back home for the free booze. A guy in the corner is glaring at me. His eyes dart to the piece of the tattoo on my neck that can be seen from underneath my unzipped jacket.
I do stand out.
I never figured this neighborhood would be full of richies. The houses aren't that big, and the cars I've seen parked along the streets are nice, but nothing amazing. I see cars that are just as expensive back home every day. But I was wrong about this neighborhood.
I look around me.
No one is pierced.
No one is tattooed.
All their clothes look like they are straight out of a catalog or something – bright colors and high-end fabrics. It is obvious that I don't belong here. I fit in on the streets, but I don't fit in with these people. I zip up my jacket and find the nearest bathroom. I lock the door behind me and stare in the mirror, taking out all my piercings and styling my hair to look more like this crowd.
I already look much different.
Anything for some free booze.
PAIGE
Chapter Twenty Five
"No heels and an unzipped dress."
Everyone is waiting for me at the front door. I feel like a different person in my mom's dress, but the look on Myra's face when she sees me coming down the staircase is worth the possible scolding. I walk quickly out the door and into the night air. Street lamps light the sidewalks, and I stand and wait for our car.
Mikki and Dane stand next to me holding hands. I try not to look at them, but I can't help it. I look at Mikki's outfit, expecting to see the same dress she wore at dinner. She changed into something that makes her look like a completely different girl. She looks like she really could be Dane's girlfriend. She looks stylish.
"This way," Myra says. She begins walking down the street. I raise my eyebrows.
"We aren't driving there?"
"My friend Rosie lives one street over," she responds. I fold my arms. "What? I promise this party will be proper classy this time." She glances down at her tiny dress. I am so used to seeing her with Princey under her arm that I look twice at the purse she is carrying. "Would I be dressed like this if it wasn't true?"
"I guess not," I admit. The sound of our heels echoes along the street as we walk. We turn a corner, and immediately I hear music and laughing. So far this party feels like the last one, but Mikki and Dane are here this time. "Mikki, where did you get that dress?"
"Oh Victor," she responds quietly. "Do you like it? He let me borrow it. It is from his latest collection." Dane walks with a proud look on his face. The closer we get to Rosie's house, the wider he grins.
"He was right," I mutter. "You are the girl for his new line." I take a deep breath. I didn't mean to compliment her, and it feels strange because I meant what I said.
"Thanks." She smiles softly.
It's her innocent look.
I step in front of her before I ruin the moment by blurting out something rude. I follow Myra up the steps of the front of the house and stop when I see a familiar face. Sam is standing in the living room drinking something and talking with some girl. He's dressed casual, and the minute I see his face, I remember our kiss. My feet are frozen. I look at him until he makes eye contact. He smiles and ditches his friend to talk to me.
My stomach begins churning as he gets closer. His dark hair is a bit messy, but he still looks good. I place my hands on my hips to keep myself from clutching my abs. Dane and Mikki head towards the kitchen for something to drink.
"I haven't heard from you," Sam says. His accent grabs my attention more than anything.
"Hi," I reply. He brings out mixed emotions in me. I am excited to see him again after the way he kissed me. I am mad at him for coming into my life when he did. And I am mad at myself for wanting him.
He wouldn't be talking to you if he knew your secret.
"So, are you still cross with me?" He takes a step closer so I can smell the spicy cologne on his neck. I smile and grab a strand of my blonde hair.
"For what?" I tilt my head to the side. "For kissing me?"
His eyes widen when I bring up our kiss. My heart starts to race, and the churning in my stomach grows stronger. My entire torso feels hot when Sam's hand gently touches my lower back and stays there. He pulls me a little closer.
"I couldn't help myself," he says in almost a whisper. "I had to do it."
"Why did you do it?"
"I think you know why, Paige." His dark eyes look like two shiny hazelnuts up close. He is flirting with me. He wants me to kiss him this time. He is trying to tempt me into doing it. I bite the corner of my lip and let him think his plan is working. I always play hard to get at first. I learned that from watching Alana tank relationship after relationship. Some of which turned out to be nothing more than one night stands. She gives it all away too fast.
"Remind me," I whisper. I wait for him to kiss me again. He looks at my lips. He is trying to keep his composure, but he can't wait anymore. When it is clear that I am not going to make the first move, Sam takes a chance. He leans forward and kisses me firmly.
His lips part and he pulls my waist into his. I can hardly breathe until he is finished. The sound of laughter and music around us fades away for a few seconds. I feel like my old self as I kiss him back, showing off my technique. Sam takes a break and grins. He exhales and lets his hand fall below my waist.
"There is a free room upstairs," he whispers in my ear. I look around before answering. No one I know is in sight.
Dane and Mikki must still be in the kitchen, and Myra is who knows where. I have no one to give me a disapproving look. And if Alana were here she would probably cheer me on.
I imagine myself on top of Sam. No heels and an unzipped dress. My stomach rumbles. It even makes noises that are too quiet to hear with all the chatter around us. What if Sam looks at me and can see that I'm pregnant? My bump is hardly even there, but he could be suspicious. Or maybe he might think I ate way too much for dinner.
That would be embarrassing.
I start to feel anxious. Self-conscious. Even in this fabulous dress, my reality catches up to me. I take a deep breath and notice that Sam is looking at me funny. He lets go of my waist and takes a step back.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asks.
"Fine." I rub the side of my cheek trying to silence the voices in my head telling me I'll look like a fool if I undress in front of him.
"Then what do you say?" He winks at me. "Shall we go upstairs?"
If things were different, I would have a few drinks and say yes.
"Yes," I blurt out, grabbing his hand and letting him pull me up the staircase.
Don't do it, Paige.
"And you are sure that you are okay?" Sam says again. "Because you looked a tad pale there for a moment."
"I'm great," I lie. "I've never felt better."
Chapter Twenty Six
"It's you, isn't it?"
My stomach rumbles again when Sam opens the door to a dark bedroom. He leaves the light off and pulls me inside. My eyes scan the room. There is a twin bed and decorative pictures of soccer balls on the walls. A very small dresser near the window has a row of children's book on top of it and two dinosaur bookends. Immediately Sam starts kissing me like he did downstairs, but this time his hands are more adventurous. When his hand touches my stomach, I jerk myself away.