‘When will you start?’
‘At the earliest moment . . . with your permission?’
There it was again. Deeply grateful. With your permission.
‘Do you think, Father, that the widow who gave her mite may have had it from the ladies of Kingstown?’
Father O’Connor flushed. He did not know what his superior meant, except that he intended to be insulting.
‘I don’t know what you mean, Father.’
He was embarrassed and unhappy.
‘Your charitable efforts will be a cover for hypocrisy, because you know you can do nothing for these people by throwing them a blanket or giving them a hot meal.’
‘A family left our church for that.’
‘You see. You are worried exclusively about souls, Father. You must worry now and then about human beings. Ask the ladies of Kingstown and their husbands to give back what they have taken.’
Father Giffley began to laugh. It was not the sort of laughter that was meant to be shared. Father O’Connor remained silent. The fact that one of his cloth should be a drunkard distressed him unbearably. He looked pointedly at the clock.
‘I have the funeral to receive,’ he said. He rose.
Father Giffley fixed his eyes on the young, hurt, disapproving face.
‘Let me tell you something before you leave,’ he said, in a kindlier tone. ‘It may help you—it may not.’ Father O’Connor sat down again.
‘You have seen a Mrs. Bartley from time to time?’
Father O’Connor had. Before first mass, or very late at night, he had seen her on her knees, scrubbing the floors, scraping candle-grease from the sanctuary carpet with the broken blade of a knife. She was one of a number of casual cleaners.
‘Mrs. Bartley had a child who was very ill once. He was on the point of death,’ Father Giffley continued. ‘I sat in her room throughout the whole of a winter’s night and watched the child. I don’t know why I did it. I prayed some of the time. Some of the time I wiped the sweat from the child’s forehead. The woman sat with me and so did the father. She made tea for me throughout the night, but they spoke to me hardly at all. They had never heard before of a priest sitting all night with a child. When I left in the morning the child had not died. He was sleeping easily and by the next day it was obvious that he was going to live.’
Father Giffley sighed and added:
‘For some months I was highly edified by my priestly conduct. Mrs. Bartley believed there had been a miracle. In fact she is probably the only parishioner who, whenever she salutes this poor, drunken oddity, feels she is in the presence of a saint. You see—she thinks I have a harmless fondness for peppermints.’
‘Father . . . please.’
‘And, oddly enough, I should not like her to learn the truth.’
‘You feel there was a miracle?’
‘The child? No. But in me there was. For one isolated night I had found the true disposition, so that even if the child had died they would still have drawn comfort and peace from me.’
‘It was a privileged experience.’
‘Your ladies of Kingstown will never teach you how to find it. They’ll do worse. They’ll draw you away, into self-satisfied almsgiving. But if you can find it for yourself you will be the comforter of the destitute, even when your pocket and your belly are as empty as theirs.’
Father O’Connor hardly knew what to say. He looked at the purple-veined face, the bulging eyes, the strong nose with the sprouting hairs marking each nostril. This heavy-breathing boor was trying to show him the road to sanctity. At last he said:
‘I appreciate what you have told me.’
‘It is the only piece of truth I have ever learned,’ Father Giffley said.
Father O’Connor guessed he was being challenged. If so, organising charity was an excellent beginning. Some of the poor, at least, could be fed. Not them all, because there were too many. One started with the most deserving. And, of course, with those who seemed tempted to apostasise, even though the apostate could never be said to be deserving.
‘I will give thought to what you’ve told me, Father,’ he said.
In the presbytery the clerk had Father O’Connor’s black cope and biretta laid out for him and beside it the brass bowl and the sprinkler for the holy water. He was rubbing his hands with the cold. Hanlon’s labours, though inefficient at the best of times, were missed. The boilerman was dead, and the pipes out of action. A damp cold had gripped every part of the church.
‘He went off very sudden, Father,’ the clerk said.
‘He did, poor man.’
‘The oul chest was very poorly,’ the clerk said. Father O’Connor took the book and marked the appropriate section with a purple-coloured tab. He did not answer the clerk. Recognising that the priest had no desire to talk about the dead boilerman, the clerk turned to business.
‘There are two people in the outer room wishing to see you,’ he said.
‘They must wait,’ Father O’Connor told him.
He vested reluctantly and went down the church to the porch-way, where he paused and saw that the funeral had arrived and was marshalled on the far side of the street. In the light of the gas-lamps the leading horses waited, their black plumes stiff and upright. On each side of the hearse a candle flame wavered in its little glass tomb. Behind stood the mourners: the women with shawls over their heads, the men—now that the church door had been reached—uncovered. Traffic passed slowly to show respect and stopped on either side when the hearse and followers began to cross the street. They held the coffin at the church door while Father O’Connor, about to admit it, sprinkled it with holy water, welcoming what was left of Hanlon back to the church he had spent some winters working in. Under his aloft hand the fittings became marked with blobs of holy water. The leading women began to weep loudly. One of the men, grey-haired and shabby, nodded a greeting to Father O’Connor, who did not know him but placed him as a brother of Hanlon’s because there was a clear resemblance. Without acknowledging him Father O’Connor turned and walked down the echoing church. It amplified the sounds of grief and the sharp contact of boots on marble. In the mortuary chapel he stood at the head of the coffin once again and read the prayers, four candles in front of him. The people were poor, yet the coffin was a good one. It was a point of honour with them to bury their dead decently. He led them in a decade of the rosary, his voice unhurried but efficient, his mind quite detached from his surroundings. He found it impossible to feel anything about his congregation. Here, in a shadowed chapel, dismal with cold, where the air was unpleasant because of the corpse and the close-packed mourners, another one of the obscure thousands was poised between the anonymity of his life and the anonymity of the grave. Day after day he said the same prayers and went through the same ceremonial. There were particular deaths no longer, only Death in general.
He conduded and was approached by the grey-haired man.
‘I was his brother,’ he said in a whisper. Father O’Connor realised that he expected formal sympathy.
‘I see,’ Father O’Connor said. He handed the sprinkler back to the clerk.
‘Good evening, Andy,’ the man said to the clerk.
‘I’m sorry for your trouble, Pat,’ the clerk said.
‘You were a good friend, Andy.’
Father O’Connor took the man’s hand.
‘I will pray for your brother at my masses,’ he said.
‘Thank you, Father, you’re very kind.’
It seemed to be enough. The grip on Father O’Connor’s hand tightened for a moment and was withdrawn. He returned to the sacristy.
Father O’Connor unvested. There was a void inside him as though Jesus Christ himself were a lie and there was no Church, no Belief, nothing but the dominion of darkness and mortality. He wondered that he should want to help anybody, least of all the poor. They came carrying their stinking corpses to be blessed and despatched. They were uncouth and ill-clad and rough of tongue. They had faces and forms that
were half animal. The clerk whispered:
‘The two people is still inside, Father. A young couple. They want to arrange to get married.’
To get married. To sleep in the sweat of one bed and deposit in due time a few more animal faces among the dirt and the dilapidation.
‘They must wait,’ Father O’Connor snapped, and turned away.
He felt he must clean himself, change his clothes, wash. He thought of his mother and ached for her presence, for her comforting voice and lovable fingers. Taking the Galway rosary from his pocket, he went to the prieu-dieu and knelt for a long time, not so much in prayer as in thought, his mind reliving what remained with him of childhood, the favourite memories he had guarded passionately against annihilation. They helped as they always did.
The clerk, returning, found him still on his knees and was about to withdraw again when Father O’Connor rose and said in a voice which betrayed his tiredness:
‘Please tell the two people I am coming.’
‘It won’t be necessary now,’ the clerk said, ‘Father Giffley is already with them.’
‘I thought Father Giffley was in his room.’
‘He came down a while ago and found them waiting. He said he would deal with it.’
‘Thank you,’ Father O’Connor said, wondering bitterly if Father Giffley was in a condition to talk to anybody. He decided he did not care, and went out again to the church, where he stood for some time in the mortuary chapel. The coffin plate bore the name ‘Edward Hanlon’ and was still damp from the sprinkler. The Christian name looked out of place. It had never been used when Hanlon was referred to about the church. The shrine in front of the small altar was ablaze with candles, which the mourners had lit before leaving. For each candle a halfpenny had been dropped into the donation box, a small sum which called, nevertheless, for self-sacrifice. They made an occasion of death, giving it its due in candles and coffins.
At the high altar he tried to pray again, but still the emptiness dragged at him, his feeling of depression and purposelessness increased. He abandoned the attempt after a while and moved down the almost empty church to the porchway, where he clasped his hands behind his back and stared dismally at the traffic. His immediate need, he knew, was companionship. In Kingstown he could have muffled up and walked briskly between rows of elegant houses to the seafront, where one could pace away depression and the air was always fresh and invigorating. He could have called on one of his parishioners and spent an hour or so in pleasant conversation. There was no one to talk to in that way here.
A voice beside him said: ‘Good evening, Father.’
It was Rashers Tierney. He was about to let him pass with a formal nod when an idea occurred to him.
‘Just a moment,’ he said.
Rashers, who had put on his hat in the porch, removed it again. Father O’Connor took in the shabby clothes and the hungry-looking face. Why not? Surely here was a deserving case, a poorer one than the poor themselves.
‘Have you been in the church?’
‘I showed a young couple the way to the presbytery. Then I went in to say a prayer or two for the late lamented.’
‘You knew Hanlon?’
‘A decent poor skin,’ Rashers said.
‘Could you do his work?’
‘Stoking a little bit of a boiler wouldn’t be beyond me, Father. Sure what’s in it?’
‘If you are free tomorrow call to me after the eight o’clock mass. I’ll give you a week’s trial.’
‘As boilerman?’ Rashers asked, not sure that he understood aright.
‘As temporary boilerman,’ Father O’Connor qualified.
He went back into the church. He was satisfied to feel he would be able to tell Father Giffley that he had engaged a boilerman. If the fellow proved unsuitable he could be easily replaced. It was one duty disposed of for the moment. Still restless, he climbed the side stairs to the organ loft. Below him the pews, divided into geometrical sections by the centre and side aisles, moved in rows to the altar rails. Above them in its funnel of red glass, the sanctuary lamp displayed its tiny flame. Father O’Connor sat on the stool at the large harmonium which did service instead of an organ and leaned his elbows on the manual. The keys were yellow and cracked, like practically everything else in St Brigid’s. When he rested his foot on one of the foot pumps a thin note sounded. He sat upright, startled. Realising that one of the keys must be stuck he made a laborious search in the half-dark of the gallery until he found it. He prised it gently back into position with his fingernail until the sound stopped. Then he pumped with his feet and pressed the note again. This time it released when he removed the pressure of his finger. He pressed it again, listened, built a chord on it, moved to a related chord and completed a phrase which reminded him of the ‘Ave Verum’. He began to play it, softly at first and then, as the music engaged him, more loudly and purposefully. He switched to a secular tune and then to a march by Handel which he remembered from his student days. It filled the church with a cracked and wheezy grandeur, so that the three or four of the faithful scattered in the pews below turned their heads and looked up. Father O’Connor played for some time, until the gallery door opened and the clerk stood waiting for his attention.
‘What is it now?’ Father O’Connor said. The small mirror in front of him, used by the organist so that ceremonies could be followed without it being necessary to turn the head, reflected the rose-coloured sanctuary lamp and caught the effulgence of unseen shrine candles against a velvet darkness.
‘It’s Father Giffley. He wants to speak with you immediately.’
Wondering what piece of urgent unimportance his superior had fastened on this time, Father O’Connor accompanied the clerk to the vestry. He was in time to see the young couple as they left and recognised the girl immediately.
‘Were they the callers about the marriage?’ he asked the clerk.
‘They are, Father.’
‘I think I know what Father Giffley wants. Where is he?’
That was quite typical of Father Giffley, to send for a person and then expect to be followed to his rooms.
‘I’ll go immediately,’ Father O’Connor said. He tried not to betray his annoyance.
He crossed the courtyard with its grimy Calvary set against the high stone wall and climbed the stairs. Father Giffley was entering details of something in a black book.
‘You had one of my former parishioners with you I see,’ Father O’Connor said.
‘You recognised her?’
‘She was a servant girl in the house of friends of mine—the Bradshaws.’
‘What do you know about her?’
‘She left her employment, presumably to take up with a young man.’
‘The young man was with her. They explained to me.’
‘I hope she is not in trouble. Mrs. Bradshaw would feel responsible.’
Father Giffley put down his pen and stared.
‘You sometimes shock even me,’ he said at last.
‘I don’t understand,’ Father O’Connor protested.
‘If the unfortunate girl is in trouble, as you term it, don’t you think that her plight is more worthy of your sympathy than the delicacy of Mrs. Bradshaw’s feelings?’
‘That is not what I meant.’
‘The girl is not in trouble, unless you consider wanting to get married to a decent young man a trouble.’
‘I am sorry. I thought you might wish to question me about her background.’
‘Don’t be a fool,’ Father Giffley said and returned to his writing.
Father O’Connor stared at the bowed head and struggled to control his temper. At last he said: ‘You mustn’t speak to me like that.’
Father Giffley looked up as though surprised to hear the voice and find someone still there.
‘You must not speak to me as though I were a servant.’
‘I see,’ Father Giffley said. He laid his pen aside and folded his arms.
‘And what are you—if not a
servant?’
‘I am a priest.’
‘A priest. And what is a priest?’
‘He is not to be spoken to like a dog,’ Father O’Connor said.
‘Are you questioning my authority?’
‘Not your authority. Your manner. Your cruelty.’
‘Do you wish to make a complaint?’
‘Very much so.’
‘Then make it to any quarter you think fit,’ Father Giffley challenged. ‘As for me, I will go on treating you as I feel you deserve.’
‘You have no right to humiliate me.’
‘I am trying to teach you that social disease cannot be cured with buns and cocoa. Until you condescend to live in the world of the parish you serve I will continue to chastise your pride.’
‘I have made my protest,’ Father O’Connor said, ‘and I will leave it at that for the moment.’
He put his hand on the door handle and was about to leave when Father Giffley snapped: ‘One moment, Father.’
He turned round.
‘You have not yet heard what I wanted to speak to you about.’
‘I am sorry,’ Father O’Connor said, ‘I thought you had finished.’
‘You were playing on that foul instrument in the organ loft.’
‘Is that forbidden too?’ Father O’Connor asked bitterly.
‘Tonight it was not fitting.’
‘May I ask why not?’
‘Any of my respected parishioners could tell you why not. The body of the poor boilerman who served us well is lying in the church. Was he too lowly to qualify for your respect?’
Father O’Connor’s face changed.
‘You had forgotten?’ Father Giffley suggested.
Father O’Connor said nothing. He was trapped. It was true. He had forgotten.
‘That is what I wanted to say,’ Father Giffley concluded.
CHAPTER SEVEN
On Easter Tuesday evening Mary and Fitz moved into 3 Chandlers Court. Their feet on the unfamiliar stairs made an echoing noise and they had to pick their way carefully until a figure holding an oil lamp appeared on the landing above them and addressed her for the first time as Mrs. Fitzpatrick.
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