‘You liar!’ Beth felt the blood drain from her face.
‘It’s true, I tell you!’ The girl’s thoughts ran ahead, recalling everything the silver-haired man told her, and adding to it all that she herself had learned while eavesdropping on Tyler and his woman. ‘Do you honestly think he cared any more for you than he cared for me? He began to lose interest in you when it became clear that your family would stop you from marrying him. He saw his cushy life going out of the window, don’t you see? Oh, he was a good actor. One of the best. All that talk of going away to find a job, then he’d come back to you… it was all part of the act. Everything you told him, everything the both of you talked about, it was all repeated to me… how much you loved him and how you would defy your family to be with him. You fool, you bloody fool! He didn’t want you to defy them. He wanted his foot in the door… to stake his claim. He didn’t want you on your own. He wanted to be welcomed into the family with open arms, to be part of the Ward Development Company… Richard Ward’s son-in-law; working his way into favour and seeing himself taking over the whole bloody company one day.’ The sight of Beth’s horror-stricken face drove her on to merciless depths. ‘You know it’s true! Everything I say is the truth. Tyler Blacklock has used you, just like he’s used me.’ Unable to contain her fury that Tyler had turned her away in favour of Elizabeth Ward whose grace and beauty far surpassed her own, and deeply affected by her feigned emotional portrayal of the wronged woman, she was surprised to find real tears flowing down her face.
‘You don’t believe me, do you?’ she demanded. ‘But it’s true! I swear to God every word is true.’ Rushing to the mantelpiece, she took down a floral vase, which she tipped upside down on the table. ‘I’ll prove it to you,’ she cried, grabbing up a small shiny object. ‘He gave me this,’ she said, ‘Told me to keep it as a souvenir of our good times together.’ She held it out for Beth to see, smiling inwardly when Beth gasped aloud. ‘He told me it were yours… said you wouldn’t miss it… that you had far too many trinkets already.’
All manner of emotions sped through Beth as she stared at her own brooch. The last time she had seen it was when she and Tyler made love. There was such a pain in her that she could hardly speak, and yet she could not bring herself to believe what the girl was saying. ‘You stole that brooch,’ she accused. ‘I don’t know why you’re doing this, but I won’t listen to any more.’ With a coolness that belied her inner confusion, Beth started towards the door.
‘I didn’t steal it!’ The girl’s voice followed her. ‘As God is my judge, Tyler gave that brooch to me, and then we made love. When he was still warm from you!’ She followed Beth to the front door, her voice low and trembling, sincere to the last. ‘He’s gone,’ she said, ‘and I’m left with his bastard. I don’t expect I’ll ever see him again… and I don’t want to. There’s no reason for me to lie. What bloody reason would I have to lie?’ she demanded, sounding mortally hurt.
Beth walked down the street, her shoulders straight and her head held high, but her heart was breaking. The girl’s voice went down the street with her. ‘He’s two-timed you, Elizabeth. Took you for the fool you are. It weren’t you he were after. All he wanted was a position, that’s all… a position in society, and your old man’s money. Think yourself lucky he ain’t left you in the family way.’
Shivering from the cold, more lonely than she had ever been in her life, and with the girl’s awful words echoing in her mind, Beth walked the dark quiet streets, always wary and keeping to the shadows, until a solitary Hansom cab came alongside.
‘Where to, Miss?’ the driver asked as she climbed in. He couldn’t help but wonder why such an elegant young lady was out on the streets of London at such a Godforsaken hour.
‘Please, just take me to the nearest mainline station.’ Her head was pounding, echoing to the girl’s words: ‘We made love’… ‘carrying his bastard’ ‘He didn’t want you on your own… it was a position in your father’s company. You fool. You bloody fool!’
It was four o’clock in the morning when the train began its journey north. After a while, the tall grimy houses and myriads of chimneys gave way to broad rolling stretches of green meadows and the occasional winding brook. Daylight flooded the land and the whispering rhythm of the wheels against the track played on her senses. Somehow, in spite of all the turmoil inside her, she had slept a deep quiet sleep. She was calmer now, but saddened by the thoughts that would not leave her be… thoughts of her father, and Ben. Thoughts of the girl and what she had said. Thoughts of Tyler. ‘Oh, Tyler,’ she murmured through her tears, ‘if only I could be certain.’
But she could never be certain again. In spite of herself, Beth was suffering terrible doubts. How had the girl known so much? At first it had occurred to Beth that the girl could have eavesdropped on her and Tyler. But then she could not recall a time when she and Tyler had discussed these things in any depth while in his room. Of course, it was common knowledge that her family was opposed to her relationship with Tyler. But somehow the girl seemed to know more than that. And why would she lie? What could be gained from it? Besides, there was no doubt that she was genuinely upset. The more Beth thought of what the girl had said, the more she came to believe that there must be some truth in it. Anger and regret seeped into her heart. She felt bitter, cheated. What if Tyler really had made a fool of her? What if he and the girl had slept together after all? Was she lying when she said she was carrying his ‘bastard’? But then, why would she lie? What capital could she hope to gain by it?
The questions persisted. Doggedly, Beth thrust the doubts from her heart, but they lingered, eating at her, demanding to be answered. Why would the girl lie? She had no real reason that Beth could see. Curiously she cast her mind back to the last time she and Tyler had spoken. Had he seemed sincere? Of course! But then she reminded herself that no matter how she pleaded, he would not be persuaded to take her with him. On top of that was his constant regret that he should be the cause of separating her from her family. It was a painful thing for her too, yet she could never denounce her love for him. All that mattered to her was that she and Tyler should be together. Why had it been so difficult for him to accept that? Don’t let your imagination run away with you, Beth, she told herself. He gave you his reasons, and they were sound enough. But had her family been right all along? she wondered.
And so she argued with herself, wanting more than anything else in the world to know that Tyler had not ‘used’ her for his own ambitious purposes. She tried so hard to make herself believe that the girl was a liar, but could not convince herself. The damage was done. The truth could not be denied. If the girl was with child, and that child was Tyler’s, then Beth never wanted to see him again as long as she lived. There was no doubting the girl’s sincerity. Nor could she dismiss the most damning evidence of all. The brooch! Suddenly, everything Tyler had ever told her seemed suspicious. In her mind, Beth went over and over those special moments when they had been together; examined his every word. And the only thing that was paramount was that he had been adamant she could not go with him. Was it because of the reasons he gave? Or was it – as the girl had claimed just now – that he was more in love with the idea of being Richard Ward’s son-in-law than he was with Beth herself?
For many hours she tortured herself with questions. Had Tyler really taken that girl into his bed? The thought was unbearable. Had he left his seed inside the girl… just as he had done with Beth? Was he only a fortune-hunter and a ‘woman’s man’ after all? How did the girl get the brooch? Certainly, it seemed that he must have given the trinket to her. What else was Beth to think? Why hadn’t he left word where he had gone? Did he not want her to know? Her mind was in turmoil. She felt drained, uncertain, afraid. She loved him still. She would always love him. But now, she doubted whether she would ever see him again. And if she did, would her love turn to hate? Her head told her to believe the girl. Her heart told her differently. All she knew was, at this moment, she could not forgive him. H
e should have stayed, or else have taken her with him. But… the brooch! Above all else, it was that which created the gravest doubts.
Beth had started out with a dream in her heart, and a desire to spend the rest of her life with the man she loved. Now the dream was tarnished, and her only desire was to get as far away from London as was humanly possible. Her family had disowned her, Tyler had deserted her – and maybe that was for the best after all. Somehow she had to rebuild her life. For the sake of her unborn infant, she must put the past behind her and start again. It would be hard. Dear God, it would be hard! But she had her health and strength, and she had a little money. Whatever obstacles life had in store, she would face them head on. Beth had never been North; she had no idea what to expect. She was friendless and a little scared, but she was strong of heart, possessed of a determined spirit, and had a deep abiding faith in the Lord. She called on that now as she closed her eyes and uttered a heartfelt prayer. ‘I know I’ve sinned, and should be punished, but I’m asking your forgiveness, Lord. Help me. Please… help me.’ A simple prayer, spoken from the heart. But somehow it seemed to lessen her fears. And the future did not seem so bleak.
* * *
It was near midday when Beth stepped out of the railway carriage at Blackburn Station, weary from her long journey and so hungry that her stomach was playing a tune inside her. She went steadily across the station. There was a tea-shop close by but though she was hungry, the very thought of swallowing anything made her nauseous. There was hustle and bustle all around; porters rushing to and fro; passengers coming and going; train whistles shrieking: and in the huge arches that fronted the station a small girl and a woman were approaching every likely customer who might buy their flowers. Mindful of the fact that it was not flowers she needed but the name and address of a respectable boarding house, Beth directed her steps towards the Station Master. If anyone knew the district, he should. Blackburn was a strange land to her; but it was North, and in the back of her mind she remembered Tyler’s words ‘North… or Southampton’ he had said. Blackburn seemed an industrious town and, as such, as good a place as any to make a new start.
Suddenly her father’s face came into her mind, and a great sadness engulfed her. Like Ben, he had rejected her. She forced the images from her mind and, praying that her father was not dead as she had imagined, quickened her steps. The portmanteau weighed her arm down, and every bone in her body ached. It was a wet raw morning, and after the milder climate of the south, the air was sharp and cutting.
Outside the station, Beth glanced down at the address which the Station Master had given her, and then folded the paper into her pocket. Pausing a moment to gather her strength, she looked out across the open square: at the carts rumbling along; at the people going about their business; at the ruddy-faced men in their short jackets and flat caps or sober coats and toppers; at the women in their dark fringed shawls, children running beside them; other women, grander, dressed in broad-brimmed feathered hats and gowns that swept the cobbles. As she gazed at the scene before her, it became hazy. Fearing that her senses were slipping away, she put the portmanteau to the ground and leaned against the strut of the great arch, deliberately willing herself to be strong.
You mustn’t go down, Beth. Not here, in front of all these people, she told herself. Even her own frantic whisper sounded strange and far-off to her ears. Raising her face to the sky, she let her gaze rove the many landmarks… tall elegant church spires and cylindrical chimneys from the many cottonmills hereabouts. She wondered nervously what this town of Blackburn might have in store for her. One thing was certain. She must put Tyler out of her mind; out of her life. One day in the future their paths might cross again. Until that day, she must not think too harshly of him, nor too kindly. Her love for him was like a clenched fist inside her. But then, so were the doubts. If he wanted her, then it must be up to him to seek her out. Only then could she be certain that it was her he wanted, and not the comfortable life her family’s wealth might have provided. If Tyler really loved her, he would move heaven and earth to find her.
‘Heather for good luck, Miss?’ The small voice startled her. Turning her gaze downwards she was intrigued to see a pair of wide-awake blue eyes looking up at her. ‘Go on… treat yerself,’ the voice urged; the grubby thin-faced waif held out a small sprig of dried heather. ‘Have a sniff’ she said with a smile that lit up her surprisingly lovely features. ‘Pretty, ain’t it?’ she asked. ‘And it’s only ’alfpenny.’
‘Well now, that’s very reasonable.’ Beth returned the girl’s smile; there was something infectious about it. But she was forced to hesitate, mentally assessing how long her money might have to last before she secured employment. The girl thrust the sprig forward, extending her other hand for payment.
‘A ’alfpenny, you say?’ The delicate fragrance of the heather floated up to her, filling her senses. Reaching her fingers into the pocket of her jacket, Beth withdrew her purse. In that moment, the girl’s small face became like a speck on the distant horizon, her tiny figure swaying from side to side. The ground rose and fell, taking Beth with it. From a dark swirling void, the girl’s voice came to her. ‘’Ere! Are you all right, lady?’ It was the last thing Beth heard before her strength ebbed away and she crumpled to the ground.
* * *
Tilly Mulliver walked up the steps of the grand house in Berkeley Square. A few minutes later she came into the spacious drawing room, where the maid brought her a tray containing a silver tea-service, two china cups and saucers, and a plate of dainty ham sandwiches. ‘Thank you,’ said Tilly, waiting for her to depart the room. She turned her head and smiled at the woman who was seated in the plush high-backed armchair; a woman not long past her fortieth year, with pretty, delicate features and shining fair hair. She was painfully thin, but there was a sparkle in her expressive dark eyes as she returned Miss Mulliver’s smile. For a moment, neither woman spoke, yet there was an understanding between them, a bond; a love so strong that it had endured many long frustrating years.
Refusing the refreshments offered her, the woman leaned forward in her chair, her eyes intent on her visitor, her hands twisting nervously about each other as she said in a pained voice, ‘Will he live, Tilly? That’s all I need to know. Will Richard live?’
‘Yes, Elizabeth.’ Miss Mulliver nodded her head, a warm reassuring smile on her face. ‘He will live. The doctor says he must take things easy for a while. But he has great reserves of strength, and they will see him through.’
‘Thank God!’ murmured Elizabeth, her voice quivering. The dark eyes moistened and she visibly relaxed. After a moment when her troubled thoughts fled back over the years, bringing her both heartache and joy, she looked up to see the other woman watching her, waiting for the question that was spoken in anxious tones. ‘And Beth?… What of Beth?’
Miss Mulliver shook her head. ‘She did not come back. But then, she would only have been turned away again. They made it quite clear that she was not wanted.’
‘Even Richard?’
‘When Esther told him that Beth was carrying Tyler Blacklock’s child, it was a terrible shock. Don’t be too harsh on him. When he’s well, I know he’ll regret what he said.’
‘Do you think I should intervene?’
‘No. Beth has a strong forthright character. She’ll be fine.’
‘Where will she go?’
‘To him… to the man she loves. He’ll take care of her.’
‘I’ve done her wrong. All these years, I’ve done her wrong.’
‘No! You must never think that. What happened was forced on you. It was not altogether your fault.’ Miss Mulliver stared at the woman, so pale and delicate, so riddled with guilt and regrets, and all her life tied up with the past, with her daughter Beth and with Beth’s father whom she had loved for so long. Tilly’s heart went out to her, ‘Perhaps it’s time for me to leave the Ward household… time for us to leave this area altogether?’ She was uncomfortable with the present arrangement.
>
‘Please don’t say that.’ The voice was frantic. The dark eyes pleaded. ‘I can’t be too far away from him… from her. You know that.’ She pulled herself up, her eyes fixed on the other woman’s, and her lips quivering with anxiety. ‘I need you to be my eyes and ears. Please… don’t deny me this.’
A moment’s hesitation, then, ‘Don’t worry. I won’t let you down.’ Tilly came to stand by her friend, leaning to kiss the fair gossamer hair. ‘Do you want me to trace Beth and the man?’ She must never forget how much she owed this woman.
‘No. As you say, he will take good care of her, I’m sure. It would do my heart good to see her own father go in search of her when he’s well again.’
‘Then we’ll pray for that, shall we?’
‘And for Richard’s full and speedy recovery.’ The dark eyes melted into a smile and her whole face lit up with a gentle beauty. ‘I’ll never forget what you’re doing for me,’ she whispered hoarsely.
‘Ssh. You know I would do anything for you,’ came the soft reply. The dark eyes closed, and Miss Mulliver went quietly away, returning to the Ward household, and her duties there.
When, a short time later, the maid returned for the tray she was surprised to find that the visitor had gone. Her mistress was fast asleep in the chair, but in her restless slumbers she called out a name over and over. ‘Richard… Richard!’ So much pain in her voice. So much anguish. ‘Shh, it’s all right, ma’am,’ the maid whispered, stooping to drape a blanket gently about the woman’s legs. She was startled when long slender fingers touched her face. ‘Beth… will you ever forgive me?’ When she looked up it was to see that her mistress was still asleep. But she had grown restless, and the tears were flowing down her face. Unsure whether to call the nurse from the library, the maid found herself held back by a remarkably strong and determined grip. ‘It’s all right… you rest now,’ the maid whispered. ‘Beth will forgive you. I know she will.’ The fingers relaxed and there was a look of peace on the woman’s face. ‘There now. Sleep quietly,’ the maid said, moving away. She wondered who ‘Beth’ was, and ‘Richard’. And why did these two cause her mistress so much pain?
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