FEAST OF MEN

by Ayn Dillard

  Exiting the highway, we pull into the gas station. It’s raining harder now—Boyd hands me his credit card. “Go inside the station to stay warm.” I run into the station then watch out the front window of the station as he fills the car up wearing only his shirt sleeves. The man must be freezing. He enters the station and inquires. “Do you want to call Maggie to let her know what’s happened to you? She’s probably wondering and worried.”

  “Yes, I do. Thanks for reminding me.” So, he’s romantic and thoughtful.

  He asks the attendant, “Is there a phone in here we can use?”

  The attendant points to a phone booth outside. “Natalie, give me Maggie’s number and I’ll call her for you. Just stay inside and keep warm.”

  I tell him the number, “Don’t you want your coat back?”

  “No, that’s okay. You need it.” He repeats the number a couple of times then goes outside to make the call.

  I watch as he makes the call. He smiles at me, finishes with the car then comes back in.

  “I talked to Brian. Maggie’s picking up the kids from school. I told him, I have Natalie Duncan and she’s fine. You can call Maggie later today—okay?”

  “Okay, thank you. What more did Brian say?”

  “They were wondering about what to do. He said Maggie stayed at the airport for a couple of hours then had to leave to pick up the kids.”

  I exclaim, “I can’t wait to tell her about this day. Aren’t you freezing?”

  “No, I’m fine. Well, maybe, a little cold. Why do these airline uniforms have short sleeves? It’d sure be nice, right now if they were full length.”

  “Are you certain you don’t want your coat back?”

  “No, it looks much better on you—so you keep it.” I ponder, chivalry isn’t dead after all.

  After Boyd pays for the gas, we walk back to the car, he inquires teasingly with a big grin, “Honey, do you want one of those flamingos to take back? Don’t you agree one of them would really accent the front yard?”

  The place next door to gas station is selling cheesy looking statues. I guess, they’re meant to be put outside on a lawn, or perhaps in front of a cabin or mobile home.

  I reply jokingly, “Sure perhaps, a flamingo?”

  He agrees, “A pink flamingo might be great in the front yard.”

  I exclaim. “Perfect, but no, we can’t buy it! We don’t have enough money. We need to conserve every cent.”

  Our stupid sense of humor fits perfectly together—at least, we think it does. We think everything we say is brilliantly amusing as we experience so much joy in just being together.

  Heading out towards big-D, Boyd again comments about how he hates to drive.

  “Can’t believe, I’m having so much fun while driving in this disgusting weather—hardly ever drive, but with you it’s fun. I bet everything I do with you is going to be fun, if driving in this disgusting weather is.”

  As I think to myself, I wish this car ride would never end—even feeling dead tired with my stomach cramping, I feel happily content driving in this rainstorm talking with this airline pilot whom I met approximately seven hours ago. Um, seven hours, feels more like a lifetime or forever. I usually hate rain, always have, if it’s raining, I want to be indoors. The place, I want to be if it’s raining is cuddled in bed with a good book, but running around in this rainstorm with this man feels as if I’m safely tucked indoors. This rental car is warmly filled with our love and joy.

  Continuing our journey, Boyd tells me about himself and his children. I reciprocate talking about myself. All of a sudden Boyd turns the car around.

  I exclaim, “What’re you doing and where are we going? Were we headed in the wrong direction?”

  He replies, “There’s a place I want to show you. It’s called Turner Falls and it’s right over there. A camping area with cabins. I’ve brought my daughter here many times—ever heard of it?”

  I answer. “No, and I don’t want to go there right now. Not really good camping weather, do you think? Are you sure it’s not the same place that’s in that Alfred Hitchcock movie? The one where the lady gets stabbed in the shower? You know, ‘Psycho’? The name of it sounds like it’s the same place. Bates hotel, Turner Falls—aren’t they the same?”

  “It’s okay, Natalie I only want to show you the place. There’s a waterfall with cabins over looking it. Natasha and I have gone hiking there.”

  “Well, it’s awful weather for hiking, don’t you agree?” a bit of nervousness creeps in me.

  We turn into the entrance of Turner Falls, the guards at the gate really check us out. They notice Boyd’s uniform and wave us on. “Go on in, but be careful Captain—water’s high in the creek.”

  It’s rustic and isolated as we head towards the waterfall as I wonder what this Captain has in mind, I become flooded with apprehension.

  He motions for me to look out the window, “See, aren’t these cabins picturesque?”

  “Yes, they are, well kind of, but I really can’t see clearly because of the rain. It’s like being in a somewhere—never land. There appears to be cabins on either side of the road.”

  “Wouldn’t it be fun to stay in one of these cabins sometime?”

  “Well, perhaps some time, but certainly not now.”

  We continue to wind down the road getting closer to the waterfall. We begin to cross over where the high water is swiftly rushing by.

  “Boyd, should we really go any further? We don’t want to get stuck. We need to be in a jeep to do this kind of thing.” As I reflect, what a day—first I jump out of an airplane—now to be drowned at Turner Falls. Then I ask myself, where the hell am I anyway and what am I doing?

  He assures, “We’ll be fine.”

  “Well okay.” As I contemplate, surely the magic of this day wasn’t to lead me to being murdered on some camp ground. Nervous laughter, “Well, if we do get stuck—so what! It’ll just go along perfectly with this crazy day.”

  The Captain, easily and quickly drives through the flowing water. He stops the car and puts the window down on my side of the car to reveal a view of an ordinary and small waterfall.

  As he exclaims, “See, there it is. Natasha and I have climbed all over those rocks even under the waterfall. Look at how you can see through the waterfall back to the rocks. then you can hike over the rocks above. Would you ever hike with us?”

  “Certainly, I would.” He’s sure obsessed with this waterfall and it’s really not much. He’s trying to be sweet and romantic I guess, and share some of his life with me.

  He responds in surprise, “You really would?”

  “Sure, it’d be fun on a sunny day—that is.”

  “Okay then, on a beautiful day, we’ll do it.”

  Then before I can stop it or even realize it, he’s kissing me. It feels great, but before I allow myself to get lost in the moment, I catch myself and pull away. “What are you doing?”

  “I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since we were on the airplane.”

  Firmly, “But, you’re married, Boyd. You’re a married man! Did you forget?”

  “I know. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help myself. You know, ‘seize the moment and all’.”

  “That may be one way to approach life, but under these circumstances, it can also sound like a married man trying to seduce a girl into bed.”

  A bewildered expression appears on his face, “No, it’s not like that at all. I just wanted to kiss you—to feel you close.”

  I notice he has red lipstick all over his face and I begin laughing. I pull down the visor mirror to look at my face. Chanel red lipstick is smeared all over my cheeks. “Just look at my face. I look like a circus clown and so do you.”

  “It doesn’t matter and who cares about a little lipstick getting on our faces.”

  As I reach into the back seat to unzip my carry on “Well—did you ever think it might matter to me especially about your being married?” I feel confused about everything. I do want to kiss Boyd, it fel
t great, but he’s married. I rustle around in my bag to locate some cream. I put some on my hands, rub it on my lips and cheeks then wipe my face with a tissue to remove all traces of the lipstick. I turn to Boyd and begin wiping lipstick off his face as he’s smiles, obviously enjoying the attention.

  Then I state, “Okay now, you can kiss me a whole bunch. And then I’ll put my lipstick back on.”

  Boyd cracks up laughing. “Sounds like something Kathleen Turner would’ve said in, ‘Romancing the Stone’. God, you’re so cute and so much fun.”

  I confirm, “See, we really are living a romantic, adventure movie on this very day.”

  He answers, “Well, I don’t ever want it to ever end. I’m falling more in love with you every minute.”

  Quickly I decide to seize the moment and to give myself permission to go with it. Releasing myself to the moment and the feelings, we kiss. Major chemistry is happening. Our kisses are magical. Is this the magic connection, I’ve been looking for forever? Only why is he married?

  We hear rustling behind us, we turn to see the park patrol driving up. They look everything over for a minute then leave.

  Boyd states, “Good guys—they’re making sure we didn’t get stuck. This uniform gets me past situations that wearing regular clothing won’t. We probably weren’t supposed to come back this far—they’re just doing their job.”

  Or they were investigating to make sure the man in the uniform didn’t torture and kill the girl—headline—‘Murder at Turner Falls’—might taint this little camp ground a bit—don’t you think?”

  He laughs, “Yeah, right! He must’ve known that this was a pilot wanting to kiss his girl—don’t you mean? You know, this uniform makes people think I know things I don’t. For example, if I’m walking through an airport, people will come up and ask all sorts of questions as if I know everything about every airport—all the flights—directions everywhere and to everything—all because of the uniform. Even standing right in front of their gate, they’ll still ask a pilot where it is. Like on the airplane today, everyone was asking questions about the flight and what they should do. I had no idea because I was just a passenger on the flight myself.”

  “Yes, I noticed you consoling the people who were asking you questions. It’s the power of the uniform. That’s the reason for wearing uniforms or certain clothing and being designated as teacher or leader—to separate people out as an authority. Most people turn to what ‘appears’ like the authority for their answers. As a ballet teacher, I experienced the same reaction. When I’d walk into the room, the kids would look at me as if I was a princess. It’s kind of fun. But when you have such a position, you need to be really careful about how you interact with people who look up to you as a role model or answer giver.” As I ponder—Boyd certainly is proud of his uniform and refers to it often then I exclaim, “Boyd, that’s exactly how I feel today. You make me feel as if I’m a princess and you’re my prince. I jumped out of the airplane into the arms of my prince, I feel like Cinderella.”

  “I hope that I can always be your Prince, Natalie. That you’ll always feel this way and I’ll never do anything to change those feelings you have about me right now. I want to be your prince for always. Natalie, it hurt me when you wouldn’t kiss me before, when you pulled away.”

  “Well, you’re married, remember? This is way too crazy. I’ve never done anything like this ever. I don’t get involved with married men. I’m a ‘forever’ kind of a girl—a one man woman or a one woman man—however that goes. I don’t want an involvement with a married man.”

  “Natalie, I love you. This is not some kind of a game here. These are my true feelings. Believe me, this is a surprise for me, too. I don’t want to do anything to mess this up and I understand this is fast and strange. I don’t want to scare you and I am getting a divorce—remember? I told you my plans upfront on the airplane then I asked if I could call you in April after everything is over. After the divorce and after I’ve completed my L10-11 training in March, I wanted to call you then. Then with the plane being diverted, it allowed us to spend more time together and I’m so glad. I fell in love with you, I knew I was going to. First moment that I saw you, I knew I was going to love you.”

  “All of this may be true and even wonderful, but you still aren’t divorced yet. Reality is you’re still a married man. So, we shouldn’t be getting into kissing at all.”

  “You’re right, but I will be divorced soon. I promise you, I will be.”

  “That being true, what do we do until then?”

  “I don’t know—am not sure Natalie, but we’ll figure something out. We just met a bit too soon, but we’ll figure it all out.”

  We succumb to hugging and kissing for a bit as it’s too delicious not to, then Boyd backs the car up. I reapply my lipstick as we head out of the park. I’m sitting close to Boyd and it feels so right.

  Winding out of the park, the rain slacks up allowing us to spy a phone stand.

  He thoughtfully inquires, “Do you want to try calling Maggie now?”

  “Yes, I do.” Then I think yes, exactly yes, I need to talk to Maggie. This is happening too quickly. I need to talk to my girlfriend and Boyd senses this. It appears he really does want to make sure I feel as comfortable as I can—under the circumstances.

  He pulls the car as close as possible to the phone and I lower the window to make the call, but the wind’s blowing too wildly making it difficult to dial. I can’t reach out the window without water flooding in and getting soaked. So, Captain-Prince-Charming gets out of the car to face the horrible cold and rainy weather without any jacket on to dial the phone, then hands it to me inside the car.

  Brian, Maggie’s husband answers. “What in the world’s going on with you? Some airline pilot called and said you were fine.”

  “I am having quite an adventure today. Is Maggie back yet?”

  “Dang sure sounds that way.” he shouts, “Maggie, pick up the phone. It’s Natalie.”

  Maggie gets on the phone, “Natalie, where are you? What’s going on? Brian told me that you’re with some airline pilot.”

  “Yes, I am. You won’t believe all that’s happened today. Sorry, about the airport. There was no way to call you from the plane.”

  “Yes, the weather’s been awful. I was at the airport by noon. They said your flight would be delayed until one. I went into the ladies’ room, came out and they said three. I had to leave to pick up the kids. This weather’s incredible, storms and tornadoes everywhere, can you believe the airport closed? How often do they ever close DFW—almost never!”

  “It’s crazy. We were circling the airport and they told us we’re being diverted to Oklahoma City.”

  “So, where are you now? Why did you get off the airplane?”

  “I met someone and we decided that rather than just sit and wait that we’d drive to Dallas.”

  In disbelief, “Who—the pilot of the plane?”

  “Not the pilot flying the plane, but the one traveling as a passenger back to Dallas. We began talking and having so much fun. I jumped out of the airplane into his arms.”

  “What?”

  I glance over at Boyd and feel uncomfortable that he’s listening while my friend and I talk about him. Boyd interrupts. “Tell her we’re in love.”

  “Maggie, this is going to sound really crazy, but we’re falling in love.”

  She screams, “What? Have you been drinking or what?”

  “No—no way, you know, I don’t drink much and certainly not mid-day.”

  “I know, but I thought with the weather and all that you were maybe drinking on the plane a bit. Plus, what you just said certainly sounds as if you’ve been drinking because it doesn’t sound like you at all. Is this really the conservative even prudish Miss Natalie Duncan?”

  “Yes, and I haven’t been drinking at all. It just happened—like magic.”

  “Is this guy married or what?”

  “He is, but getting a divorce.”

 
; She screams. “Natalie, what’re you doing? This is the stupidest thing, I’ve ever heard you say or do and it’s not like you at all. What’s going on and what about the man you went to visit in LA?” sarcastically, “Remember, the ‘man’ you went to visit? Even your doing that was not like you and now this. Okay, what about him?”

  “I understand all this sounds stupid and crazy, but he is getting a divorce. I had a pleasant visit with David, but nothing there.” I’m intensely aware of Boyd sitting right beside me, hearing all this and I feel embarrassed.

  “Right, isn’t that what they all say? Damn it, Natalie, you go to visit one guy then come back with another. This is like a movie. You sure live an exciting life.”

  Maggie’s words are bringing me fast and hard back to reality and I wish Boyd could disappear for a minute, so I could really talk to her.

  Boyd interrupts, “What’s she saying?”

  I answer him, “That this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. She’s asking if I’ve been drinking and if you’re married.”

  He responds, “Tell her. Not to worry. I’m getting a divorce and that I love you.”

  Into the phone, “Maggie, he just told me to tell you that he loves me and he is getting a divorce and not to worry. I know this is stupid and crazy but it’s magic or something. The whole day’s been magic.”

  “Well, I know with Brian and me it happened fast and we weren’t out of our marriages and it all turned out wonderful. Crazy and what may seem like stupid—can turn out great. But still be really careful, for God’s sakes, be careful. Where are you now?”

  “Turner Falls—he wanted to show me the waterfall.”

  “That place is terrible. The kids have gone there. I hate that place. It’s nasty and certainly not your kind of place.”

  “Well, we’re having fun.”

  “You’re having fun only because you’re together and in love because that place is disgusting. Just a bunch of old cabins around an ordinary waterfall.”

  She’s correct, this place is not much. “Maggie, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Be careful because the weather’s awful and just be careful.”