Shame On Me

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Shame On Me Page 2

by Cassie Maria


  “He’s an anesthesia nurse,” Chris offers matter-of-factly as if I asked if it was raining outside.

  “Who is?” I ask with my eyes glued to the screen.

  “Your future husband.”

  My body freezes, including the mug that was making its way to my suddenly dry mouth. I can’t stop my eyes from narrowing when I ask, “Why would you say that?”

  He makes a production of leaning his forearms on top of the table and staring directly into my eyes. “I have never known you to be interested in anyone enough to ask us for any information so I figured it must be love or some shit like that.” At the end of his statement he cocks his head to the side and smiles at me. I respond with a roll of my eyes and take a generous sip of my beer.

  “All I asked was how did you know him. How does that translate to me being in love with him? We’re not fifteen anymore guys; I can have a hitter relationship with him.”

  At my declaration Calvin folds his arms across his chest and glares at me. Uh oh, I’m in for it now. “He’s twenty-eight, never been married, was engaged once but shit didn’t work out, been single for nine months, owns a car, has a house in town, and makes decent money. He’s a good guy and deserves a woman who’ll treat him right. We won’t let you treat him like a hitter.”

  “I never stop you guys from turning girls into hitters.”

  “We never turn good girls into hitters.”

  “There is no point in this conversation because I’m not even interested in him.”

  At this point James has had enough of my game and decides to speak up. “ You need to learn to be open and not treat every guy you’re attracted to like a hitter. I think you two are a good match and you should give him a fair chance.”

  I slowly slide my gaze from James to the others around the table. The entire table has their gaze locked on James but he only has eyes for me. Once he’s sure that I understand him, he nods his head and turns his attention back to the screen.

  James is the strong silent type, but when he speaks he’s usually right. I sigh as I realize that I’m screwed. Now the boys will do whatever they can to stick Ethan and I in each other’s path.

  I normally wouldn’t mind being in the path of a guy like Ethan, but I can tell that the boys won’t just let me hit it and quit it. Now that they have it in their head that we’ll fall in love, I can’t pursue anything with him.

  ****

  Monday

  “Tell me you love it,” he whispers in my ear.

  “Baby I love it.”

  “How much?”

  “So much baby, so, so, much,” I say as he pounds into me. He’s bigger than I thought he’d be and is hitting spots I never knew existed.

  “Am I your only one?”

  “Yes.”

  “Say it.”

  “You’re my only one.”

  “Is it mine?”

  “Its yours baby. Its all yours.”

  “How good is it?”

  “So good.”

  “I can’t hear you Mia.”

  “So effing good!”

  “Are you going to cum?”

  “Yes!”

  “How hard?”

  “So hard!”

  “Show me. Show me how hard you can cum.”

  He reaches between us and strokes my clit into submission and my orgasm has tears forming. He continues to pound into me and only comes after I chant his name.

  “Ethan.”

  “Ethan.”

  “Ethan…”

  ****

  I jerk upright in bed breathing hard and sweating. That was the third dream tonight! Shit I’m so screwed.

  I fall back to the bed and stare at ceiling. I take a peek at the alarm clock and groan when I realize it’s almost time to get up. After another ten minutes of staring at the ceiling, I crawl out of bed and take a long shower.

  Chapter Three

  Something Different

  At my workstation I quietly sip on the iced caramel coffee that I need in order to get going every morning.

  “I don’t know why you don’t find a night job since you obviously struggle so much in the morning.”

  “I don’t want to resort to a manual labor job just so I can sleep in,” I say to my coworker Sarah on a yawn.

  “I have a cousin who went to Bartending School and makes a hundred dollars in tips minimum but on a weekend she can pull in nearly five hundred dollars. She’s been tending for over a year now so you may not make that much starting out but its still a decent amount. You should try it out.” She whispers the last part because our head teller is giving us the stink eye. I nod my head to let her know I’ll think about it and I do.

  By the time I get home from work I have my plan formulated. I figured out that I have more than enough in my savings account to cover my monthly bills while I change career paths. I’ll still be working at the bank while I attend Bartending School so I probably won’t have to touch my savings at all. I’m sure I’ll be exhausted but at least my finances will be covered for a while.

  I did some initial research at work and found a school that will allow me to take afternoon classes. I will work 7:30am-4:00pm at the bank and attend classes from 5:00pm-9:00pm Monday through Friday. I plan to use the weekends to recuperate as well as scout out bars to work at.

  ****

  As soon as Ava arrives home I inform her of my plan and I think she is more excited than I am. “It’s a good thing this development was up and coming and when we bought our house!”

  She’s right.

  Had we not purchased our house during a buyers market, I wouldn’t be able to afford a career change at all. We were blessed enough to purchase a two bedroom townhome with a garage, two and a half bathrooms, with an enclosed back deck. If we had waited another year the bank would not have even considered approving us for the hefty price the houses now go for.

  “We have to go out and celebrate!” Ava squeals.

  “Yes we do but lets wait until later on in the week.” Ava nods her head in agreement and heads to the kitchen. I return to my room and print out my two weeks notice that I’ve had sitting on my computer for months.

  ****

  Two weeks later…Friday

  The two weeks were hard work but I did it! I finished Bartending School and today is my last day as a teller. I was able to land a job at two bars. Monday through Friday I will work at Eternally Young bar and grill (a.k.a. The Grill) and on Saturdays I will work at a club called Ice. To celebrate my new employment Ava and I are going to The Grill to party.

  I put on a pair of white shorts, royal blue stiletto sandals, and an off the shoulder royal blue midriff top. I took the time to curl my hair this morning in celebration of my last day, and the curls still look cute enough that I don’t have to do anything to them. I throw on some eyeliner, mascara, and lip-gloss to finish off my look. I will be pulling on my shorts all night but at least I’ll look cute doing it.

  I’m waiting for Ava by the door when she appears in a hunter green dress that hugs all of her curves and is barely legal to wear in public. I can tell she went all out with her look tonight as I take in her smoky eye, false lashes, blush, foundation, and lipstick.

  Ava takes in my outfit with approval but rolls her eyes when she see’s my makeup. She has long ago stopped trying to force me to get all girly when we go out. Lip-gloss and mascara is as far as I’m willing to take it.

  When we pull in to The Grill’s parking lot we can hear the music and it sounds like the DJ has the place turned up and it’s only 10 pm!

  We make our way to the security line where D checks your ID before you’re allowed to enter. Since we’re only blocks away from Sunset Cove University (a.k.a. Cove U) on Friday and Saturday The Grill allows you to be eighteen to enter but twenty-one to drink.

  Tim (the other security guy) notices me immediately and waves us to the front of the line. Without looking my way D throws a large hand out in my general direction and confiscates my ID. His eyes quickly scan my
birth date but once it reaches my photo he turns his confused gaze my way.

  “Shit Mia, why didn’t you say it was you?” I shrug demurely while his gaze takes me in. “If you look like that while you work you’ll be rich off of the tips alone.” I blush while pulling out enough money to pay our cover fee. D shakes his head and hands me back my license. “Employees get in free and I’m willing to look the other way and let gorgeous in free this time.”

  “Why thank you handsome,” she flirts in a false country drawl while batting her eyes. “Anytime. I’ll see you two later.” Tim places green wristbands on us then opens the door for us. I take a hold of Ava’s arm and pull her into the building.

  We’re immediately greeted by lots of noise and tons people. The bar has a massive crowd surrounding it, the dance floor is overflowing with gyrating bodies, and the billiard room has crowds of people either playing or waiting for their turn.

  I knew from my tour on Tuesday that the waitresses order drinks at the end of the bar closest to the back hallway so that’s where I lead us. As soon as we approach the waitress station Kate (the owner) notices me and comes right over.

  “Hey girl! Are you here to start early?” she shouts over the music.

  Smiling I reply, “No I’m just here to celebrate with my girl and spend some money.”

  “Well I’m getting slammed back here so if you fill a few orders and make your own drinks I’ll only charge you half price.” Before I can respond Ava is shoving me towards the opening at the end of the bar.

  By the time I finish filling orders and our half priced drinks hit our systems, we head to the dance floor to get sweaty. While on the dance floor I spot the boys making their way towards us. They give us big hugs and inform me that they’re here to help me celebrate quitting my stupid teller job (their words, not mine). I laugh before noticing that they brought someone along with them. Ethan.

  He notices me staring at him and moves closer to me to be heard. “I’m Ethan.” He says while pulling my hand into his. He is tall, as in over 6’3” tall.

  Great! Like I need another reason to be attracted to him. My eyes quickly roam over his olive complexion, dark brows, hazel eyes, full lips, and strong jaw.

  All I can do is smile and stammer, “I’m…um…M-Mia.” Smirking he asks, “Ma Mia?” I laugh then say, “No just Mia.” “I think I’ll call you My Mia.” I shyly pull my hand out of his. “But I’m not yours.” He leans in close to me and whispers, “You will be.”

  I feel my face get warm and turn towards our group and discover that they are watching us without blinking. Seeing them gawking at us brings me back to reality and I remind myself that I don’t want to pursue anything with Ethan.

  “Lets go get some drinks so I can practice some more,” I order before heading towards the bar not looking back to see if anyone is following me. Half of our group gets drunk and the other half remains sober in order to be designated drivers.

  We all head back to the dance floor and my liquid courage convinces me to dance with Ethan. The dance begins friendly enough with the both of us doing a two-step with a respectable amount of space between us. Soon it progresses into me moving in close and wrapping my arms around his neck.

  I eventually end up with my back facing his chest, and his hands resting at my sides just under my bust. He holds me as respectfully as he can while I move my hips to match the fast tempo of the song. While dancing, he maneuvers himself so close to me that I can feel his breath graze my ear.

  OMG!

  He’s turning me on without even trying. I know I decided that I wasn’t going to pursue anything with him but one night with him can’t hurt.

  Right?

  I mean technically a hitter is a repeat occurrence and I have no intention of doing this more than once.

  I hope.

  The fast song that we’re dancing to is swapped out for a slow one and he takes over our movements. His hands move to my hips in order to move them back and forth in a slow gentle movement that has me panting. Damn, how did this white boy learn how to move like this!

  His movements prompt me to snake an arm over my head and behind his neck. My fingers play with his bun for a few moments before I pulled it free. His silky hair tumbles free and creates a private cocoon for us.

  He isn’t close enough so I move my other hand up his thigh and hook two fingers into a belt loop on his jeans. I smile when I feel his junk pressed against my lower back; he’s just as salacious as I am.

  He begins softly nibbling my ear and my eyes slowly shut as my one hand rises from his neck to his hair. Once I began running my fingers through his hair he whispers, “Lets get out of here.”

  Wow is that a southern accent? I nod and my eyes find Ava in the crowd. I lift my chin at her and wink. She recognizes our code and smiles brightly. Ethan holds my hand as he leads us to the parking lot.

  “Give me your keys Mia.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re tipsy and I rode with the boys.”

  I sigh and hand over my keys because he’s right. “Be careful,” I demand as I head to the passenger door.

  “Yes ma’am. I wouldn’t dream of putting that pretty face in danger,” he says as he opens the car door for me. I drop my head to hide my blush before quickly getting into my car. It’s completely embarrassing that my cheeks can even get red.

  I mean how is it even possible for a chocolate girl’s cheeks to get rosy? Ethan gets in on the driver’s side and adjusts the seat and mirrors to his specifications. I’m looking out my window in anticipation for the ride home when I hear my name called.

  I turn my gaze his way and watch as his eyes lock onto my lips while his thumb strokes my jaw. I’m anticipating a hard hungry kiss but he surprises me with a soft one.

  The kiss begins slow and soft but it quickly ignites a slow burn in my belly. Once the burn begins, the kiss quickly takes an urgent almost needy turn.

  We are panting against each other’s lips when he whispers, “Address baby.” I give it to him without a second thought and laugh with him when he has to turn the defroster on because we fogged up the windows. I only live fifteen minutes from the bar but the ride home seems to take hours.

  When he finally pulls into the driveway and turns off the car I pull his face towards mine and kiss him like he is the one thing I’ve been missing my entire life. He must’ve understood my hunger because he ends our kiss and pulls me across the seat into his lap.

  He doesn’t kiss me. He just stares into my dark eyes like he is trying to come to a decision. When his decision is made he leans forward and kisses me tender and sweet, like he is giving me my very first kiss. I could lose my heart to him with this one kiss.

  He’s sweet.

  One-night stands aren’t supposed to be sweet.

  Shit, I have to put a stop to this.

  “Are we going to sit here and make out or are you going to take me in the house?” I whisper while nibbling on his bottom lip.

  “Right now sweetheart I feel like making out,” he says in that delicious southern accent.

  “Well I don’t,” I say right before I slam my lips onto his.

  I can feel his kiss turn hungry as I move my hands to his hair. I’m nibbling on his bottom lip when he suddenly throws the door open. He pulls away from the kiss and tucks my face into his neck before maneuvering us out of the car.

  I hear the car alarm beep then feel his hands move to my bottom. “Up,” he commands and I am delighted to oblige him by wrapping my legs around his waist. We continue to kiss as he carries me to the front door and struggle to open it.

  ****

  Once inside he gently places me on my feet so that I can disarm the alarm. When I have that taken care of he seizes my hand and I hear him whisper, “bedroom.” It isn’t a question, it’s a demand and I like it. I lead him upstairs to the door on the right.

  “Would you like a tour?”

  “Later,” he mumbles against my lips.

  I feel his hand go
under my shirt and man oh man does it feel great to have skin on skin contact. I need more!

  I run my hands down his chest to the bottom of his t-shirt and whip it over his head. He turns his back to me and I frown until I realize he is looking for the light switch. I blink at the harsh light when he finds it.

  “Sorry baby but I need to see all of you this time but the second time we’ll shut out the lights and use the moonlight to guide us.”

  I get to have seconds? AWESOME!! The voice in my head sings in a high soprano voice. I throw off my shirt and hear him inhale as he takes in my lace covered C cups.

  “Please tell me that’s not a padded bra.”

  “If it were I’d be spilling over the top.”

  “Damn,” he whispers before licking his lips. He tentatively reaches out and grazes the top of one breast, and I watch as he closes his eyes and inhale deeply. “You’re the softest thing I have ever felt in my life.”

  Before I can respond he pulls me against him and kiss me so good that my toes start curling. We quickly remove the remainder of our clothes and tumble onto the bed. As soon as we hit the bed he’s kissing my neck and his full lips are crazy soft.

  Jeez, can this man make me burn any slower!

  His tongue eventually joins the action and he lazily drags it from my neck to my breasts. When he reaches my breasts his skillful fingers unhook my bra without me noticing. I have no time to figure out how he did it because he’s currently kissing, sucking, and nibbling each breast thoroughly. By the time he begins softly biting each nipple I’m on the verge of coming.

  He eventually lets my nipple slide out of his mouth and makes his way to my belly. He pays respect to my belly ring in a way that I didn’t think was possible. If he doesn’t get a move on I’m going to finish before he even gets started.

  “Ethan hurry baby,” I pant.

  “Don’t ruin my fun sweetheart.”

  Ethan lays his head on my belly (facing my cupcake) and slowly runs his finger over the folds. My back arches off of the bed so far that I think I might buck him off, but Ethan doesn’t move an inch.

  “So wet for me.”

  “Yes,” is my breathy response.

  “You smell so good. Do you taste just as good? Are you as soft on the inside as you are on the outside?”

 

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