by Leanne Davis
Most people missed a great virtue about her… Brianna was as loyal as the day was long. She never turned her back on the people she loved… no matter what. Few people were allowed to enter her life or know her true self. People were easily distracted and gently persuaded to avoid getting too close to her.
She was a master at deflection.
So the few friends who were close to her were fiercely guarded as integral parts of her life and remained dear to her heart. Like a wild dog with rabies, she protected them to the end.
She walked across the beach under a deep twilight that gripped the sky in a ghostly, iridescent, whiteness that trailed down over the water. She sighed before sitting down on a flat rock in the shallow part of the river. It flowed so clearly and seemed so pristine. Rocks poked out of the current here and there, making swirls and eddies that foamed and only enhanced the moment. Gazing at the motion and energy, Brianna relished the little, rushing, swooping sounds and they soothed her. Downriver was the spot where they swam and a much deeper hole. Up here, however, she doubted she would see anyone. She hugged her legs to her chest and rested her chin on top.
She felt so tired. Old. Weathered even. Her lifelong friends were leaving. For good. Great to know how much they loved each other, but bad for her. She was losing two friends at once to growing up. The image of her troubled brother entered her mind and her stomach clenched at the thought. God, she loved her tall, blond, striking, model-handsome brother. So what if his attitude sucked? He was rude, crude and way too direct and honest most of the time. He loved drugs and enjoyed shocking everyone with that fact. He also drank too much, and often forgot to be responsible. He didn’t call Brianna often or share the concern she showed to him.
But she was his older sister, and the ferocious lioness didn’t shy from her need to protect him. Jacob was not at home with her dad… or even expected to show up at home… Where was he? Where would he go? What kind of trouble would he get into? What was he doing? She knew her mom and dad had the same knot of worry in their stomachs as she did. She let her tears flow free of her eyes and finally sniffled.
“Goddamned, stupid brother!” She screamed it as loud as she could and kicked some sand. She sniffled and rubbed her nose before standing up to take a rock and hurling it theatrically into the water. It relieved some of her anxiety. As she flopped around, she suddenly stopped dead.
She wasn’t alone.
She spotted a shadowy figure standing off to her left behind a tree. His body was half blocked by the trunk of it, which was why she hadn’t noticed him leaning against it. She couldn’t see him fully, just parts of his face, his torso, and a leg.
What the hell? Who was he?
That guy again. The strangely silent worker from yesterday. She totally forgot to ask Cami or Joey or even her mom who he was. He seemed to be ruminating as he stared out at the swishing river. He was so close to her. Stupidly close. He was rude not to let her know he was there. What was he doing? Having an inner smirk at her expense?
“Hey! What the hell are you doing over there? Spying on me?” she called after him. Why wouldn’t he look her way? He didn’t even twitch. She had a perfect view of his profile, but not even one eyebrow lifted in reaction to her comment.
“Hey! Duh! I can obviously see you. What are you doing? Why are you spying on me?” She jumped to her feet and started towards him. He wore blue jeans that weren’t ripped or faded, but seemed brand new and still had a crease down the front. That nearly endeared him to her. There was no smug sexiness. He was a little taller than her, and strong muscles covered his arms and shoulders… oh, yes. His shoulders gently sloped off his attractive neck and chest. He stared with unfettered concentration at the water.
Ear buds. He must have had some damn ear buds in his ears to be so clueless of her presence. She squinted but he turned and she was staring at the back of his head when she stomped up behind him. His black hair was just a little long and haphazardly flipped as it moved on his scalp.
But what the hell?
She got closer, no. No damn ear buds in his ears.
“What the hell are you doing?” She pushed on his arm as she shouted at him.
He literally jumped and flipped around towards her at that exact moment. His leap-frog reaction made her reciprocate and she nearly fell onto her ass. He grabbed her arm, just above her wrist as he whipped around and pulled her towards him. He held her in an iron grip, like handcuffs restraining her, and dug his fingers into her skin and flesh.
Yanking her near him until his face was right in hers, she could tell he was breathing hard. She stared for a prolonged second, slack-jawed in total shock. What the hell? Here she was suddenly in his face, and he glared as he heaved her up in obvious astonishment at her presence before he intensely scrutinized her.
Good God. What was wrong with this guy? Did he just, what? Have some kind of mental episode? Maybe totally tuning out his surroundings and her? Maybe he was a soldier and suffered from some kind of severe trauma or PTSD. Maybe that could explain his reaction to her presence. A weird fear made her spine tingle and she shook her wrist to draw his attention to his vise-like grip. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you…”
His gaze slid up to her eyes before landing on her mouth and he stared at her lips long and hard. Then he suddenly released her and jumped back as if she just turned into a dragon and was prepared to swallow him.
“It’s me. Brianna? Remember? The barn? Yesterday?” His expression didn’t morph, but the surprise and distrust lingered in his gaze. She tried to understand where his distrust was coming from. Then again, she remembered her assumption that something was very different about him. She worried that she only added more trauma to this victim who seemed to lose track of time and space when it came to where he was.
A weird ripple went down her body. Was he dangerous? No. No, she was sure Jack or Joey wouldn’t hire anyone who could have posed a danger to her or anyone else on the ranch. But then again, maybe they didn’t know he was dangerous. Maybe they never witnessed the odd side of his personality.
“Remember?” she spoke one more time as her anxiety continued to rise.
Finally… after several long seconds, he nodded. “Yes.”
Okay. He remembered. At least that was firmly established. Creeped out, Brianna backed up a step to put more space between them. When she was far enough that he couldn’t touch her, she muttered again, “Um… I’m sorry to disturb you.”
He shrugged.
She stared at him and cleared her throat as her eyes grew big. God, this ass was for real. She pressed her lips in disapproval and decided to cut her losses. “I’ll leave you to it. Sorry,” she mumbled again. Frustrated at herself for apologizing—how many times was it now?—the silent awkwardness and downright weirdness of the situation confused her and she didn’t know what to say or do. She felt judged and annoyed so she used the words to fill the dead space that nearly stifled her. She only talked because she had to break the silence.
At least, the stupidly odd interaction managed to keep her mind off Jacob, which was what drove her down to the beach in the first place. Now she was sad about her brother and a little freaked out about this stranger. She had to figure him out. Maybe no one knew how freaky he was and they should know. Spurred on by her concerns and growing worried now, she walked faster until she broke into a run. She was only scaring herself, however, fearful that she’d turn around and there he would be, the strange, silent worker.
Chapter Three
FINN WATCHED THE WOMAN from the barn disappear again. It was too dark for him to make out what she was saying. Something about sorry and yesterday… the bigger words stood out, but she spoke incredibly fast, and she moved her head all around and mumbled. It was way too hard for Finn to figure out. He thought she might have thrown out her name, starting with a “B” but he wasn’t totally sure. So he replied with one word and continued ignoring her. Her puzzlement with him only increased.
Finn could speak proficie
ntly and read lips. It was more like he could read speech since his skill required far more than just watching lips. He observed entire facial expressions and other body language. It was less than ideal in knowing what others said, but it worked well enough for him to get by in the selective hearing world that he allowed himself to access. He didn’t have a lot of interaction with anyone, either the hearing population or the deaf. There was a reason he chose ranch work on isolated, rural farms. He enjoyed being far from crowds, cities, universities, women and families. He mostly dealt with a handful of other ranch hands, along with the foreman or the owner, depending on his task assignment.
It worked well for him.
He spoke very little, and had to decipher their words only rarely.
He preferred his solitude. It made his life a lot less chaotic and lessened the chance of making mistakes in the hearing world. That was simply because he allowed little opportunity for it to happen.
His main goal was to avoid humiliating himself. He didn’t like being the butt of any joke, although if he were, he couldn’t hear it anyway, so what did it matter? The thing was: it did matter to him. His interminable self-consciousness spread to every area in his life, but mostly revolved around his inability to hear other people speak. That’s another reason why he gravitated towards ranch work. Most of the time, he was alone, in the company of the magnificent, beautiful, nonspeaking horses. In general, he’d found that type of work didn’t require a lot of talking, listening, interacting or philosophizing.
Finn could hear perfectly when he was born, and learned to speak before he lost his hearing, which helped his pronunciation. He was often mistaken for a hearing person when he spoke. He lost his hearing during his very young years. He was told he was around three years old or thereabouts. Various school officials, teachers, counselors and interpreters that he’d worked with over the school years diagnosed and helped him navigate public school.
Little was known about his past, except that he was born just outside of Boise, Idaho and his parents also had a daughter, who was three years older than he. His parents were members of a small, secular Christian church and they were recruited as missionaries in South Africa. It was there, or so they assumed, that Finn lost his hearing completely. South Africa was also where his parents and sister died in a terrible car accident. He was sent back to the States, but had no medical records other than those of his birth. He could speak a little, and he could also sign. He was only six when his whole family died.
No one knew what to do with him after that.
He was taken to the Department of Social and Health Services in Boise before being sent to live in Idaho with a cousin of his mom’s. The man’s name was Gardner Lewis. Gardner was old, mean and mostly drunk when Finn arrived. Gardner had no interest in caring for the deaf, young Finn. It was as if he was dropped into Idaho from a complete void. Truly. It was so damn cruel.
He put Finn into school and fed him but that was about all. Finn could not remember any other positives with Gardner. Public school insisted on giving Finn intensive speech therapy, that was all paid for through an educational grant. But there were no hearing aids available to him and Gardner refused to be bothered into attending any school discussions about Finn, let alone, the obvious problem of how best to navigate his hearing loss with an appropriate hearing school and teaching style. Gardner allowed the school to do testing and some basic speech therapy with Finn, but nothing outside of that minor intervention.
So Finn was raised in the “oralist education,” which means, teaching the deaf to speak as if they could hear, without any hearing aids to back it up. Gardner had no interest in providing any other help for Finn, and never cared if he could hear and speak better by learning to use American Sign Language. Luckily, Finn already was exposed to ASL instruction when he showed up at Gardner’s house. The school staff’s best estimate was that Finn had been deaf since three years old or thereabouts. Early enough, thankfully, to have possessed some speech skills as well as old enough to absorb American Sign Language. Finn’s ASL was not just proficient, it was excellent.
An interpreter was provided for him in school, which is probably the only reason he didn’t flunk out. Gardner didn’t physically abuse him or hurt him in any way but he couldn’t have cared less what happened to Finn or how well he functioned with his condition.
As a child he felt ashamed when using the only language he fully understood and could speak. Looking back, it was a cruel and unusual punishment for a kid who was merely different.
Finn quickly picked up lip reading, however, and worked over the years with it until he mastered it. Constant practice helped, and it was the only way his primary guardian would communicate with him. Out of his sense of survival, Finn rapidly learned it.
Finn left Gardner when he was seventeen, halfway through his junior year in high school. Gardner never reported his departure or set off any alarms bells in trying to find him. He made no effort at all. Finn started working about a hundred miles away at a small ranch. He doubted Gardner even cared.
Finn never looked back and made sure to take better care of himself.
He considered himself very lucky to find a job at all.
Now that he was here at the Rydell River Ranch? It was even better than he could have hoped for. Working directly under the supervision of Jack, Finn appreciated the absence of other supervisors or workers in the barn he was assigned to care for. It diminished the chances of mishearing what his coworkers said to him. Finn easily trusted Jack Rydell and that was rare, if not impossible for Finn. He didn’t trust anyone else. But Jack was always the same and he continued to prove his competence and honesty as a man who did what he said and said what he meant.
Jack never complained or brought attention to his deafness, although he did not ignore it either. He asked Finn whatever he needed to know and accepted Finn’s answers before giving him further instructions.
Plus, Jack totally respected, cared for, trusted and trained the horses in ways that Finn not only approved of and respected but also learned from. Finn’s unusual knowledge, interest and respect for horses, including their care, training and well-being, earned him plenty of points with Jack, who was a damn library when it came to horses. Even better, he freely shared his knowledge with Finn.
Finn sighed.
The girl probably thought he odd or dangerous, judging by her quick dash away from him. And the fear that had flashed in her eyes. Who could blame her? And when he grabbed her? But that was only because she totally shocked him. He had no idea she was even there. And she physically grabbed him first… not cool. Not at all.
It wasn’t like it mattered. He was there to work with injured horses. An attractive girl? She meant nothing to him although he did wonder why she showed up there. He never dreamed he’d run into anyone as he walked the lonely, quiet stretch of beach. He was enjoying the warm night air after the excruciating heat he worked in all afternoon. The river air was like a refreshing, cool breeze being blown over him. Revitalizing him. He didn’t mean to scare the woman half to death. Standing there mute and unsure, he must have frightened her greatly because she scurried away. She was not only freaked out but most likely, thinking he was a homicidal maniac or something even worse. Yeah, great evening.
****
Brianna filtered her most recent orders and questions on her email accounts. She doubted anyone really understood exactly how profitable it was. She was making more than her mother used to make working full time. She indicated to her mom several times that she was doing well, but declined to tell her how well. Most people thought she was simply filling up her time, like a hobby. They all waited for her to go on a serious job search. The thing was: Brianna didn’t have to get another job and her parents could not begin to understand how that could be. As a recent college graduate, she should have been poor and hitting all the interview circuits. There was nowhere to do that in River’s End. At this point, all Brianna needed to continue her unparalleled success was an internet co
nnection.
She decided to draft an introduction letter naming herself as the new representative, figurehead and contact person for next year’s horse camp. She planned to announce that she was taking the place of Cami Reed as program director. She sat back and stared at the strange title. It sounded so important, like she should have had years of experience to land such a position. It sounded so much more important than merely filling in temporarily for a friend. Having learned business correspondence at school, she knew how to keep her letter professional and succinct. She sent it out to several vendors they previously used for the camp, as well as the different benefactors whom they relied on and, she hoped, they could continue to.
She flipped off her laptop and stretched her arms up before bending over to relieve the kinks in her spine. She’d been hunched over her computer and phone for hours. It was time to do something different. She ducked out of her house and started walking down the roadway, trying to relax her muscles. Holding her hand up to stare across the distance in the late afternoon, she was sure she saw the strange guy moving around the barn where she first ran into him, literally.
Her curiosity once again piqued, she quickly crossed the road and headed towards where she thought she would find Jack. He was in his office in the barn where he and Erin worked and trained their horses. There were two more barns closer to the giant arena that other workers were in charge of. They also boarded privately owned horses that were not rescued. None of Jack and Erin’s personally-owned horses were near the arena, and that was all Brianna knew for sure. She wasn’t clear about the reason for that, but it seemed drastically important to Jack to keep it that way.