by Debby Mayne
Brian occasionally glanced in her direction and offered a reassuring smile. She felt like he was the only person in the room who really knew her. And after last night, she wasn’t even sure about that.
“Would you like something to drink?” David asked. “Coffee?”
Kim started to say no thank you, but when she saw that Brian had gone over to the beverage table, she nodded. “Let me get it, okay? Why don’t you stay here and talk to everyone? What would you like?”
David tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t mind going with you.”
“No, I’ll do it.”
As soon as David told her what he wanted, she took off toward the drinks, leaving him in the midst of a small group. Brian turned as she approached him.
“Feeling better?” he asked before taking a sip of his drink.
“I guess.” Kim busied herself, pouring coffee and dumping in the right amount of cream and sugar before turning to face Brian. “Why did you do it?”
Brian cast an apologetic glance her way and shook his head. “I’m really sorry. I should have known better.”
“Yes, you should have.”
“Forgive me, okay?”
“Fine.” She held Brian’s gaze for several seconds.
“You better give David the coffee you just fixed, or it’ll get cold.”
Without another word, Kim picked up the Styrofoam cups and carried them over to where David now stood talking to one man. When she got close enough to listen, she heard him talking about the military.
“Thanks, hon,” he said as he gave her a quick glance and took his coffee. Then he turned to the man Kim had only seen once but couldn’t remember his name. “I promised my lady some lunch, so we’d better go.”
“Great talking to you, David. See you next week?”
“I’ll be here,” David replied.
As they got to the door closest to the parking lot, Kim saw that the rain had let up, but the pavement was covered with puddles.
“Want me to go get the car and pick you up?” he asked.
“No, that’s okay,” she replied. “I don’t mind walking.”
Brian joined them, and they walked out together. Just as she stepped off the sidewalk, onto the road, her foot found a slick spot, and she started to fall.
Thirteen
Suddenly she felt David’s hand beneath her elbow and Brian’s arm around her waist. David quickly moved his hand and pulled her to his side, giving Brian a playful glare.
“I’m back now, buddy. I can take care of my own girl.”
Brian’s arm lingered at Kim’s waist for a couple of seconds before he pulled back. His expression suddenly turned hard.
David hugged Kim to his side. “You okay, hon?”
“Yeah,” she said as she continued watching Brian with interest. “I’m fine.”
Brian’s stern scowl remained as he lifted a hand in a wave. “Gotta run. Glad you’re home, David. See you around.”
“Let’s get you off this slippery parking lot and into the car.” David kept his arm around Kim all the way to the car, making it difficult to stay steady without leaning into him.
As soon as Kim was settled in the passenger seat, she lowered her head and silently prayed. Lord, please be with me and help me handle David’s feelings with care. She kept her eyes closed for a few seconds to reflect on what she needed to do.
“Hey, I thought you were okay. You’re not hurting anywhere, are you?” David asked as he clicked his seat belt. Funny, she hadn’t heard him get into the car. Her thoughts were still on Brian.
“No, I told you I’m fine. That step down was slick.”
“Someone needs to do something about this parking lot. It’s treacherous.”
And so was the emotional slope she was on, Kim thought.
“What are you in the mood for?” David grinned at her as though they didn’t have a care in the world.
She shrugged. “Anything’s fine.”
“As I recall, you like Chinese food.” He turned the key in the ignition. “I’m in the mood for some moo goo gai pan.”
Kim really wasn’t in the mood for Chinese food, but if he wanted it, she wasn’t about to deny him. “That would be fine.” Brian would have known she’d rather have something more traditional after church.
No matter what David talked about, Brian was in the back of Kim’s mind. She wondered where he’d run off to or if he was as mad as he looked. Did he have plans for lunch?
“Hey, hon, did you hear what I just said?”
“Uh. . .you want moo goo gai pan?”
David chuckled. “That was at least five minutes ago. I’ve talked about several things since then.”
She turned to him with a sheepish look. “Sorry.”
“You’re still overwhelmed by the surprise, aren’t you, hon?”
“Yes, I must be.” All she really wanted now was to go home and think.
“I’m sure a good meal will fix you right up. I was hoping to go for a walk in the park later, but there’s no telling what the weather will do.”
Kim looked at him, gave him a closed-mouth smile, and nodded. “Nothing much has changed around here.”
After they were seated at the restaurant, David leaned toward her, elbows on the table, his gaze fixed on her. “You’ve always intrigued me, Kimberly.”
“Intrigued you?” She lifted an eyebrow.
“Sometimes when I look at you, I can’t help but wonder what you’re thinking. It’s like you have some deep, dark secrets.” He paused and reached for her hands across the table. “And I have to admit, that’s part of the attraction.”
“It is?”
“I like the mystery of the relationship,” he admitted. “With some women, I always know what they’re thinking. But with you, I’m never sure.”
“So you like it when I don’t tell you what’s on my mind?”
He twisted his mouth and frowned. “That doesn’t sound right, does it?”
Kim laughed, in spite of her inner turmoil. “No, it really doesn’t.”
“Mind if I start over?”
“Go right ahead.” She made a sweeping gesture with one hand and tried to pull back the other hand, but he held tight.
He traced the backs of her fingers while she waited to hear what he meant. Finally, he looked into her eyes. “To be honest, I’m not sure what I mean, except you’re different from most women.”
“Are you trying to tell me something, David?”
After a brief hesitation, he covered her hand with both of his. “Yes, I am. Kimberly Shaw, I’m the most fortunate man alive to have you here waiting for me.”
“Thank you.” Her stomach ached. This was going to be much more difficult than anything she’d ever done.
“As soon as we’re able to, we’ll have the biggest and most elaborate wedding of the century.”
The very thought of an elaborate wedding made her stomach hurt. In fact, she couldn’t even get through the bridal magazine Jazzy had given her. “David, I—”
He lifted one hand and gestured. “I’ll hire a skywriter to announce to the world that you and I are finally husband and wife. When we come out of the church, I’ll have someone release dozens of birds.”
She frowned and shook her head. “I don’t think so, David.”
“You don’t want birds? How about butterflies? I went to a wedding a few years ago, back before I met you, where each of the guests had little cardboard boxes of butterflies. I’ll call my buddy and ask him where they found them. We’ll release hundreds of butterflies to announce our love for each other.”
“David!” She caught herself as the sharpness of her own voice came through.
He tilted his head and looked at her with a pained expression. “You like butterflies, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course I do. But that’s not what I want.”
“Then what do you want, Kimberly?”
“I. . .” Now that she’d been cornered, Kim didn’t kno
w what to say or do. She and David had so much to talk about, she didn’t know where to begin. And this wasn’t the place to do it.
“Would you like something more traditional? Or more of a no-frills wedding?”
She shrugged. “You caught me off guard with this, David. We need to discuss it, but not right now.”
He let go of her hands and leaned back in his chair. “You’re right. We don’t need to be discussing the nitty-gritty details of the wedding until we know when it’s gonna be.”
Kim’s thoughts collided with her emotions. One thing was for certain, though. She couldn’t marry David.
“What are you thinking, hon?”
She shook her head. “Not much of anything at the moment.”
“Still dumbstruck, huh?”
With a nod, she replied, “Yes, I guess you can say that.”
David dug into his moo goo gai pan, while she picked at her chicken fried rice and egg roll. Not only was she not in the mood for Chinese food, but she’d lost her appetite, period.
After David cleaned his plate, he started to stand, but he hesitated. “Ready?”
She nodded and stood, and he led the way to the exit. He paid at the register on the way out, so Kim stood by the door and waited. The one time she’d tried to treat David, his ego had been bruised, so she didn’t even bother anymore.
After they got in the car and started toward her house, Kim cleared her throat. “David, you and I really need to talk.”
“I know, hon. It’s been way too long.”
She didn’t expect this to be easy, but it appeared to be even more difficult than she thought. “I have to do a few things around the house this afternoon, but can you come back later?”
He glanced at his watch. “I promised Mom I’d help her with some things, but I don’t think it’ll take all day.”
“Call me when you’re done, okay?”
He pulled up in front of her house. She opened the car door before he had a chance to get out. “Kim—”
“I’m perfectly capable of walking to my front door.” She gave him a look that she hoped would keep him right where he was. It worked.
Shortly after Kim got home, Brian called. “Will you be home for a while?”
“Yes, but I have to do some laundry.”
“Put a load in your washing machine, and I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Kim started to tell him to wait, but then she remembered that David would probably be over later. “Okay, but I really don’t have long.”
“I don’t need much time,” he replied.
Brian arrived five minutes early. Kim had known him long enough to know he’d be early, especially when she heard the sound of urgency in his voice.
“What’s so important that can’t wait, Brian?” She gestured toward the sofa. “Have a seat?”
“Yeah, but not in there. Let’s sit at the table.”
Kim shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She led the way to the kitchen, where they took seats adjacent to each other. “So what’s on your mind, Brian?”
He closed his eyes, lowered his head, and folded his hands in front of him. When he glanced up at Kim, she saw the pain in his eyes. “I can’t deal with this whole charade anymore, Kim. I care about you, and I don’t like seeing you hurting.”
Kim gulped. As much as she wanted to tell Brian everything she’d been thinking, she didn’t want to do that until she talked to David. “I care about you, too, Brian, but we’ve been like brother and sister for so long, I’m not sure you can see things clearly.”
“It’s different for me,” he admitted. “Sure, I used to tease you and treat you like you were a sister. But my feelings—well, I don’t know. I’m not sure about them anymore. . . .” His voice trailed off as he looked at her.
“You’re not sure?” she whispered.
He blinked and nodded. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I care about you more than—well, more than I should.”
“Oh, Brian.” Kim’s heart fluttered with his words. She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.” She wanted to throw her arms around him and profess her undying love.
He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. “Look me in the eye and tell me how you feel about David.”
She blinked. Could it get any harder? “I–I’m engaged to him.”
“Do you love him enough to want to spend the rest of your life as his wife?”
Kim lowered her gaze to keep from stumbling. Now that he’d cornered her, she had no choice because she couldn’t lie. “No.”
Brian flopped back in the chair. “That’s what I thought. You don’t know how to tell him, do you?”
She gathered her thoughts for a few seconds before looking him in the eye again. “Brian, this is so difficult. How does a person tell someone she can’t marry him?”
“So you’d rather follow through with this marriage than do what you feel is right in your heart?”
“No,” Kim replied. “But I need to be very careful how I handle things.”
Brian’s jaw tightened. Kim could see his frustration, and she felt it, too.
“Kimberly,” Brian whispered. “I—I really care about you.”
“I care about you, too.”
“Did you hear me?” he asked.
“Yes, of course I did.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Kim.”
Kim let out a nervous laugh. “You never lost me, Brian. We’ve always been friends, and that’ll never change.” Her urge to pull him close nearly won out, so she pushed her chair back to put a few more inches between them.
“You know what I mean.” He slowly stood up beside his chair. “I understand what you’re going through. Just remember that until the wedding vows are said, it’s not too late to change your mind. I like David. He’s a good man. Just not the right man for you.”
“That’s not what you said before,” she reminded him.
“I didn’t realize it then.” Brian shook his head.
“This whole thing feels so—I don’t know—strange.”
“Look what he’s done to you, Kim. He always makes decisions without consulting you. Is that what you want for the rest of your life?”
“No.” She held his gaze as they fell silent for a moment.
“Kim.” He tilted his head forward and gave her one of his serious looks. “People don’t change just because they’re married. If anything, it’ll get worse.”
“Brian. . .” Kim buried her face in her hands. She heard his footsteps as he walked to the door.
“I’ll see you around, Kimberly Shaw. You’re a wonderful woman. I’m just not sure you trust yourself to go with what you know is right.”
Neither of them said good-bye before he walked out the door. Kim didn’t even try to stand up right away after he’d gone.
The sound of the washing machine cycle ending prompted Kim to get up. As she moved the clothes to the dryer and refilled the washing machine, Brian’s words reverberated through her mind. Until the wedding vows are said, it’s not too late to change your mind.
She’d already made her decision. But now that she was aware of the spark between her and Brian, she felt like a traitor.
All afternoon, as she did laundry and tidied up her house, she thought about David, Brian, and her feelings for both of them. She deeply cared for both men, but in different ways. David was strong, smart, and very much a gentleman. Brian was goofy, fun, and someone she could always be herself around—at least until recently. She couldn’t think of anything really bad about either guy. In fact, they were both as close to perfect as a human could get, even though they were different.
She’d never forget when Brian first brought David around. He’d prepared her by saying how courageous and patriotic David was. That he was a Christian made him seem even better. He’d come to Christ later in life, but the fact remained, his faith was as strong as anyone’s.
She allowed her memories of Brian to take over her conscious thoughts. Over the years, Kim
had felt little crushes on Brian. Once when they were in high school, jealous pangs shot through her heart as she listened to him go on and on about how cute one of Kim’s friends was. Brian dated the girl a couple of times, and when he quit seeing her, Kim was secretly happy. She told Brian he could do better, so he went in search of someone else. Brian was so charming, he never had to wait long for another girl to latch on to him.
Kim was different. She had dates and even crushes every now and then, but she was never all that enamored of the guys. David was the first man she ever told she loved in a romantic way. She always saw herself only falling for the one man she’d spend the rest of her life with. Brian was the fickle one. For as long as they’d been friends, Brian had fallen in and out of love more times than Kim could count. She knew he’d had romantic thoughts of her at times, but only when she was involved with someone else.
The more she thought about Brian, the more convinced Kim was that he wanted her when she was off-limits in the romance department. But even so, she couldn’t marry someone she wasn’t sure about.
She made a mental list of things to discuss with David. After she finished all her housework and laundry, he still hadn’t called. Finally, she picked up the phone and punched in his cell phone number.
“Hey, hon, I was about to call you. I’m just finishing up something for Mom. I’ll be right over.”
“Okay, good.” She let out a nervous breath. “About how much longer do you think you’ll be?”
“Half an hour here, then I thought I’d stop off for a pizza on my way over. Do you have soft drinks?”
She started to say she wasn’t in the mood for pizza, but she paused and decided to let it go. “I have tea, lemonade, and a couple cans of soft drinks.”
“Okay, good. Any of those will be fine. See you soon, hon.”
After she hung up, she went to her room to change into something a little nicer. If it had been Brian, she would have stayed as is.
Stop comparing them! Kim was frustrated with herself for continuing to do that. David and Brian were both wonderful men who loved the Lord.
She settled on a soft, flowing purple floral skirt, a fitted T-shirt that matched some of the flowers, and some ballet flats. David always liked seeing her in a skirt.