by Brea Essex
He stepped back. “I hate to do this to you, but I can’t have you free to slip away.” He sat on the foot of the bed. “The fact is, I need you, Rae. I need you to help the Fallen, myself included, return to Heaven.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Logan
I returned to the church, arriving just on time. The people who had attended Mass had cleared out, and I breathed a sigh of relief. If Rae had been safe, I might have stayed for the service, but I couldn’t sit and be idle while she might be in danger. Also, I just didn’t want to be around people right now. I needed to think of a way to find this Shadow Imperium. I hoped the priest had more information for me.
When I entered the building, I couldn’t find Father Matthias. I wandered up to the altar and stood staring at the carvings and stained glass. If there had ever been a time I needed answers, it was now.
I tried to think of everything I knew about Andrei. It wasn’t much. I only knew he somehow seemed to be able to get into Rae’s dreams. How else could have he have found us at the hotel…?
Then it hit me. Her dreams! Could I get into her dreams? If I could do it, maybe I could ask her where I could find this Shadow Imperium, and if she knew how they’d gotten there.
Father Matthias had said I had incredible powers. I just had to figure out if one of those powers included being able to get into someone’s dreams. If I did manage it somehow, I wondered how I could make her aware of my presence.
She had told me about the bright light that had saved her in her dreams. Is it possible that light is the same light I can control? Has it been me all along, saving her from her nightmares? If I could get into her subconscious without meaning to, there has to be a way I could get there on purpose.
As I stood lost in thought, relieved I might have at least one answer, Father Matthias appeared beside me. “I’m glad you returned, Logan.”
“Father Matthias, I may have an idea.”
We sat on one of the front pews, and I began to explain to the priest. “You see, Raena has these incredibly vivid dreams. Nightmares, actually. She said they started around the time she met Andrei. He’s the one who took her.”
The priest nodded as if he understood. “So this Andrei is a devil.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Andrei? A devil? Yeah, he’s scary, and Raena’s afraid of him, but I’d hardly call him a devil.”
“Devils inhabit the Shadow Imperium,” Father Matthias explained. “It is their home, the only home they have left. You see, the devils are what we would call fallen angels. Do you know about the great war in Heaven?”
I nodded. “I’ve heard a little about it. Some of the angels rebelled, and they were thrown out of Heaven.”
“Yes, that’s what happened. The angels who fell were banned from Heaven for all eternity. Some of them tried to sneak back in. The avenging angels ripped their wings off. Others were hunted and caught. They, too, had their wings shorn. They have been banned to the Shadow Imperium. Some angels, however, were able to escape capture. They retain their wings, but the wings have changed. Once they were as white as the new-driven snow. Now they are as dark as the blackest midnight.”
An involuntary shudder traveled down my spine. “Yeah, sounds like Andrei. His wings are pitch-black. So he’s a devil. But if the devils are banned to the Shadow Imperium, how is he able to walk the earth?”
“Ah, but you didn’t let me finish. Only the Fallen who have had their wings taken are banned. Those who were able to evade capture, those who retain their wings, still have the power to walk this earth. They employ glamours to appear human. It is one of the few powers they have kept from their days of being angels.”
“So, if angels have white wings, why are mine silver? Does it have to do with me being her guardian?”
The priest shook his head. “That, my son, is an answer I don’t have. You are an angel, but you are different. There is something else about you.”
Great. I’m even more of a freak than I thought.
“Now then,” Father Matthias said. “Finish telling me about your Raena’s dreams.”
“Well, they all seem to be similar. She’s always running, being chased by something. She said she would feel this dark presence and a thick fog would surround her. One time, she said she got clawed in her dream and after she woke up, she thought she saw scratches on her arms. She also told me before she was caught or she ran out of places to run, a golden light would appear out of nowhere and protect her from the dark. She said sometimes she felt as though she were flying. Then she would wake up.”
“So, Andrei would chase her and try to attack her, but you would save her before he could get her,” the priest clarified.
How does he know all this? I couldn’t help but wonder.
“So, Raena’s dreams are real in a way. They are, however, just symbolic. It sounds to me as though both you and Andrei can enter her dreams. Both of you have the power to control what she dreams. You need to get into her mind and make her dream self tell you how to get into the Shadow Imperium.”
He made it sound so easy. “How do I get into her mind?”
“You’re an angel, Logan. You already have the power. You just have to use it.”
“But how?” I asked, exasperated.
“When a person sleeps, his or her guard is down. This would be the easiest time to slip into her mind. From there you can plant the suggestion to show you the way to the Shadow Imperium. I don’t know for sure if the time there is the same as it is here. Go home. Sit in the dark and quiet, and clear your mind. Focus on Raena. When you feel her presence, just slip past her mental defenses. I don’t think you will have a problem. You are probably much stronger than she is.”
“I don’t want to control her. It sounds a little evil, breaking into her mind like this.”
Father Matthias rose. “Don’t think of it as controlling. All you want is to save her and protect her, right? Wouldn’t it be more evil to pass up this opportunity? Every day you don’t find a way there is another day she must spend trapped. It’s a decision only you can make. Feel free to stop by tomorrow and tell me of your results.” The priest walked away and disappeared into a side chamber, leaving me alone with my thoughts in an empty church.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Raena
Andrei chuckled, a humorless sound. “You see, Rae, you’re not entirely human,” he explained.
I stared at him. “What are you talking about?”
He grabbed my arm and turned it over. The chains rattled loudly. He ran one finger along the inside of my forearm. “Angel blood runs through these veins.”
His words stunned me. I shook my head in denial. “That can’t be true. There is no way my mother could have been an angel. I would have known!”
“Ah, but what about your father?”
“I never knew my father,” I mumbled.
“Well, you already know the answer. Your mother left him before you were born,” he told me.
“Do you know where he is?” I asked.
“Tragically, he’s gone. Dead.”
The revelation stung. Part of me had always secretly hoped one day I would discover his identity and find him. Was Andrei mocking me? He had to be lying. “Why are you telling me all this?”
He came over and sat next to me. “Because I want to help you. I’m not a bad guy. I think you know that. I also think you deserve to know about where you came from. You need me, Rae, just like I need you. Can’t we just help each other?”
He reached one hand up and brushed my hair back. I pulled away from him without thinking. His eyes narrowed. I hoped I hadn’t made him too mad. I did want to hear what he had to say, but I just didn’t want him touching me.
“Rae, you are one of what we call the nephilim. You are the offspring of a Watcher—who is a fallen angel—and a human female. You have powers the angels don’t. You even have powers the devils don’t. This is why we need you.”
I recoiled as if he had slapped me. M
y mind raced. I had always believed in God and believed angels were real, but had never thought of them as physical manifestations who could reproduce with a human. “I don’t have any powers, Andrei,” I told him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. There isn’t anything special about me. I’m just a human teenager. I can’t help you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve spent a long time watching you. I know who and what you are. As I watched, I fell for you. I knew you were the one that could help us, just as I knew I had to have you for myself. I ventured out to the earth, risked capture and being stripped of my wings and my powers, just for you.”
Andrei was starting to creep me out. I had to find a way out of there. I had no idea how to get out of the shackles. I didn’t have any hairpins to pick the locks with, and who knew if he would even leave me alone long enough to attempt an escape. Even if I could, I didn’t know how to get back to the portal. My heart sank as I realized that even if I made it back, I didn’t have the herbs he had mixed, and I had no idea what to chant. Things were beginning to look bleak. I would just have to wait, and pray Logan could find a way to save me.
“Look, Andrei, I don’t understand what’s going on here. If I did have powers, there’s still no way I would help you! After what you did to me, threatening and stalking me, do you actually think I would help you?” I asked.
“Fine, then. You don’t want to help? I will make you want to help.” He leaned close and put his face right in front of mine. I could feel his hot breath on my cheeks. “In a couple of days, you will be begging to help me, if only to end your misery.” He straightened and headed the door, slamming it behind him. I heard him throw a bolt home with a loud clang. It sounded final, as though my life might soon be coming to an end.
I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and methodically yanking at the chains that bound me, hoping by some chance they might pull from the wall. I knew I couldn’t free myself, but I had to resist somehow.
I wasn’t sure whether I fell asleep or just lost consciousness from all the stress, but I suddenly heard the bolt being pulled back and the door to my prison swinging open. I opened my mouth to tell Andrei off, but to my surprise, a young girl wearing a long, dark robe came through the doorway, carrying a small silver tray.
“Hello,” she said. “I’ve come to bring you food.” She set the tray down on the bed within my reach. It held a thin soup, a small slice of bread, and a glass of water. It seemed Andrei intended to starve me. Well, at least he’d fed me a little and hadn’t left me to rot.
I sat up, scooting closer to the food. I stopped short when my arms were yanked back by the chains. I moved back and set the tray in my lap. The girl sat primly in a chair in one corner, her back ramrod straight. “What’s your name?” I asked her.
The girl ignored me. I ripped off a piece of bread and chewed it thoroughly, swallowed, and then tried again. “I’m Raena. What’s your name?”
She squirmed, leaning forward and whispering, “Lord Andrei forbade me to give you any information.”
“Lord Andrei?” Well, wasn’t that an interesting turn of events? Andrei seemed to be in charge.
I made several more attempts to engage the girl in conversation while I ate, but the nameless waif just sat there silently, refusing to give any more information. I had been hoping the girl might become some sort of ally, but that would be impossible if I couldn’t get her to say anything.
When I had finished with my food, the girl stood up, pulling some cloth from the inside of her robe. “What’s that?” I asked.
“You must change into this,” she answered.
So Andrei planned to starve me, but he’d give me a change of clothes? Sure didn’t make sense to me. “Why do I have to change?”
“Lord Andrei said your clothes were torn, and you needed fresh clothing,” she responded.
I waited a moment, but it didn’t seem as though she planned to volunteer anything else. “Okay then, unlock me so I can change.”
She gave me an embarrassed look. “I am to change your clothing for you. Lord Andrei has given orders that you are not to be released from your chains at any time. Please cooperate. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I had no idea how this girl could hurt me, but she was probably more powerful than she seemed. If she lived in the Shadow Imperium, she must be a devil. I had seen some of what Andrei could do, so I figured I’d better not mess with this small, silent girl.
I looked down at what I wore. My blouse and linen pants were indeed torn and stained, and I’d lost one of my silver sandals. I wanted to cry. I wasn’t upset about the clothes, but because I had destroyed—however unintentionally—the first things Logan had given me. I felt terrible.
I didn’t want to undress. I felt as though in changing my clothes, I would lose the one tangible thing I had left of Logan. I missed him so much and was terrified for both of us.
The girl still stared at me, her blank face unreadable. I sighed and waved for her to go ahead. She reached once more into her voluminous black robe and pulled out a small key from a chain around her neck. Reaching for one of my arms, she unlocked the shackle from my right wrist. She pulled my arm out of the tattered blouse, pushing my hand through the sleeve of the pale fabric she held. She replaced my wrist in the shackle and repeated the process on the other side.
I attempted to help her pull the blouse over my head, but I couldn’t reach high enough. The girl pushed my hands away, pulled the blouse off, and pushed fabric over my head. It was all one piece—a thin dress. The dress ran over new goosebumps on my skin. I wondered if Andrei intended to give me frostbite as well as starve me. I figured he thought the more miserable he made me, the more apt I would be to help him.
“Can I keep my pants? It’s cold in here.”
She shook her head, and then reached out her hand for the pants. I pulled them off and handed them to the silent figure, pulling the flimsy dress down. The girl picked up the tray and left silently, slamming the bolt behind her.
I curled up on the bed, pulling the covers over me as well as I could. I lay shivering until I lost consciousness.
Chapter Forty
Logan
Every night, and early every morning, I sat in my room and thought of Raena, praying I would feel her presence and be able to slip into her dreams. Every night I fell asleep thinking of her, hoping against all hope that I might be pulled into her mind. I woke disappointed. I walked through the days like a zombie, the lack of sleep taking its toll. I had to find her. I had to save her.
Several days had passed, and I’d had no success entering Raena’s dreams. I felt frantic. Each day I failed meant Raena spent another day stuck in the Shadow Imperium with Andrei. Who knew how he was treating her? I didn’t think Andrei would kill her. He seems to want something from her. Maybe he just wants her to be with him, like he did from the beginning. It seems to be a control thing. He appears to be someone who always gets what they want, I reassured myself.
I had to be doing something wrong. I spent my days in constant research. I had become a fixture at the local library and also become a frequent visitor at Father Matthias’s church. He didn’t seem to have any answers as to why I couldn’t infiltrate Raena’s dreams, but we were working on developing my powers. That’s about as easy as trying to get into Rae’s dreams, I thought.
The priest had mentioned that I might have the ability to teleport. I had tried to teleport directly into the Shadow Imperium, but that also proved to be impossible for me at the moment. I couldn’t even manage to teleport across the room, let alone into some other dimension, or wherever.
I had at least succeeded in figuring out how to unfold my wings from my back, and how to retract them at will. It looked like that might be the only thing I would master. When I had first discovered my angel heritage, I had thought there was something wrong with me. Now I wondered if there was something wrong with me because I didn’t seem to be able to get my powers under control.
I ha
d been unable to find any more information. I had no answers. I could only try again.
I sat cross-legged on my bedroom floor with the lights out. The lights would have alerted my parents, and I wanted to keep them out of this as much as I could. I had white candles lit in a circle around me and all around my room. I had borrowed them from the priest. They had been prayed over and blessed. I hoped they would help focus my mind and my will…or something. It was almost midnight, and I hoped the time might help me. I had been told that at midnight, the different planes of existence were closest to one another.
The clock in the hall began to chime the hour. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and concentrated with all my might on Raena.
Chapter Forty-One
Raena
I jumped as the bolt to my prison door rattled open. To my surprise, Andrei appeared through the doorway. It had been days since I had seen him. My only company had been the silent, nameless girl who brought my pitiful meals twice a day.
“So are you ready to help me?” Andrei asked as he entered the room.
“I don’t understand what you want me to do,” I told him.
He sighed. He seemed more annoyed than angry, which I took as a good sign. I didn’t think he’d be in a good-enough mood to let me go, but maybe I could at least get some better food out of him.
“Rae, I’ve already explained this to you. Whether you believe it or not, you are one of the nephilim—the only female nephilim we know of. As such, you have powers we don’t. You still have a connection to Heaven, where we have none. The avenging angels don’t like nephilim, but they will tolerate you. If I tried to get anywhere near Heaven, my wings would be ripped off, and I would be banned from earth the same as I have been banned from Heaven. My powers would be stripped. You, however, can still go there. You can plead our case.”